[beautifulone]

I don't know where to start, so this might not be coherent. But I feel horrible. I have spent the last few weeks feeling like I hate my body, and that's not good.

I lost almost 50 lbs up to last April, I was down to somewhere between 211 - 215, which was amazing. Lots of changes in my life, tough times.. I fell off the bandwagon I was so cheerfully riding, and gained 10 lbs or so. That's not very much, I know. Although seeing my ticker say that I've lost "39 pounds" makes it seem like a lot. I was near the 50s and now I'm in the 30s - it's driving me nuts!

To add to it, I'm having a very hard time losing weight. In the past, I exercised, I ate healthily, and it came right off. Now, I feel like there is almost some sort of internal resistance to it. I don't know if that makes much sense - but almost like my body is just not wanting to budge. I do have emotional issues with getting down below 215... it scares me in a way, so maybe that is what is keeping me above it. Maybe I need to resolve my fear and the resistance will melt away. Can anyone relate?

My semester at school is absolutely insane that I am finding it hard to find time to exercise. It sounds ridiculous but I am honestly not kidding. I barely have time to sleep these days. I feel stressed out.

On top of it, I feel ugly. Absolutely ugly all over. I am in my 20s and I have spider/varicose veins on my legs in a number of places. To add to it, these days I actually have sensations in my legs in the places where I have the veins or what seem like newly developing ones. I get it after exercise too, so that's worrying me. Plus, I experienced some knee sensitivity after working out a few times recently, which is also scaring me. It's not the first time I've felt the knee thing, and I don't want exercising to put extra strain on my knees. I also want to lose weight sooner so the extra strain gets taken off of my joints!

So that's where I'm at these days. I'm pretty upset. I'm heading to the gym later tonight, so hopefully that will help. I'll weigh myself.. I'm concerned I may have gained even more weight somehow Thanks for reading

[Lovely]

I'm sorry that you're feeling frustrated and upset. Perhaps the first stop should be at your doctor. You definitely want to get your legs & knee checked out.

Now let's be realistic. You have lost very close to 40 lbs. That is a lot. You should be proud! And you CAN get back to 50 lbs down. Perhaps your body has changed some and you'll need a little more time & determination, but you did it once & you can do it again. Not to mention stress can sometimes prevent some people from losing weight.

You aren't alone. Best of luck to you -

[GONNABE165]

Don't beat yourself up - Go to the gym like you said you are as some say exercise relieves stress and maybe thats all it is your having is stress dealing with loosing the weight

[rakel]

I'm worried about veins too (also in my twenties), but I'm determined not to let that prohibit me from losing weight. I was pretty depressed about it for awhile, but whatever. We are real woman and we aren't perfect, and I think whether we have veins or not, we are still beautiful! (note the present tense ... HANG IN THERE, and if you can't exercise a ton, try doing things like always parking in the BACK of the parking lot so you have to walk farther, always take the stairs instead of elevators, etc. You can do it!

[Lally]

I've fallen down that hole before, and it's not a pleasant place to be. Time and experience have taught me that the only way - at least for me - to break the vicious cycle this kind of thinking perpetuates is action. Take action, even when you don't feel like it. Feel ugly and don't want to go out? Now is the time you NEED to go out. Feel overwhelmed and like there's no time to exercise? Now is the time to do something, anything - even if it's just jumping jacks during a commercial break. Action creates motivation, and even small changes when you're feeling down and overwhelmed can deliver big results.

No human being on this earth is perfect. We all have imperfections, insercurities, pimples, weird hairs in weird places. We all fart, we all snore, we all drool on our pillows on occasion. We all have one body part bigger than another, be it a toe or an ear or a breast. Our imperfections are our common thread, and it's such wasted energy to spend time lamenting what we can't change. I've wasted more of my life than I care to admit over just this issue!

There's not a doubt in my mind that you can accomplish what you're setting out to achieve. Let go of the past, and don't waste time lamenting where you were - you're headed there again, so focus your energy on what is helpful to getting you there and let the rest of the garbage go.

[Kae]

I am in my 20s.. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have major hangups over loose skin and veins and so on........ but if I focus on that then I think it will slow down my progress. For now I am deciding to turn a blind eye to it- I'll cross that road when I get there.

[leah_0600]

Lally, thank you for that post. It was just the inspiration i needed right now

[xJox]

Lally, I couldnt have said it better myself. Thanks for that post!

[beautifulone]

Thanks for your replies everyone. I am feeling a bit better today. Being at the gym helps. I'm trying to be calm about the rest and trying to talk positively to myself, be kind to myself It's a slow processes sometimes but it's well worth it