OMG!!! That poor man must have wanted to run and hide. I would have had to say something, as big as I am at that. There is no need for hurting other people! Stupid woman will get hers one day!
Why do people have to be so rude. I would have had to say something. People like her dont help people that are overweight by saying stuff like that. It makes you feel worse about yourself and then you want to eat more. People make me so mad...... Who is she to judge.
I agree with the post above. I try to have compassion for people knowing how it can feel to hurt by other peoples remarks. As I got older and wiser lol I now know I can't control how other people act. So I don't make there problem mine.
We were at the zoo this weekend. We saw " Fluffy " the ( I don't really remember ) 1,000 lb snake ( telling you the thing was huge, biggest in a zoo I think it said ). Anyway, my daughter not thinking said something like. Darn that snake is bigger than my thigh, to her brother. Oh my gosh that womans arm is bigger than the snake. Yes, it was true, the woman was a very large woman.
I didn't really catch what she said and later on it hit me. I pulled her aside and said repeat what you said to me. She thought about it for a min and the look on her face was priceless. She was so upset with herself.
Yes, she is old enough to know better, just turned 17. She wasn't meaning to be mean or rude or cruel. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said mom do you think she heard me. I said I don't know but if she did but if she did how do you think that made her feel?
She apologized to the woman.
Last edited by Shy Moment; 10-29-2007 at 01:43 PM.
I always wish I had a good comeback when things like that happen, but I think I'm always so shocked. It's totally amazing how rude people can be. I love the bumper sticker MEAN PEOPLE SUCK! What is that women teaching her children? It's very sad.
Well, I have had rude remarks made at me and I have seen much heavier people than I. What has surprised me is those people who are the closest to me who have said things like my mom, my daughter or a friend, all of whom I love. I think the woman was trying to set an 'example" but there could have been a better way.
We all know that most of us are overweight because we used food. I always used to believe that my being overweight never hurt any one but me but I was wrong. This was pointed out to me in some of my 12 Step literature.
How many times have I refused sex to my husband because I didn't like how I looked but never considered that he still found me attractive? How many times have I refused my company at my daughter's ballet rehearsals because I didn't want to sit in a room full of mirrors even though she wanted me there because she wanted me to see her perform? I have refused to go to social functions because I was the fattest person there and yes, I once had another fat girl friend say to me "I like going places with you because then I am not the only fat person there". I could go on and on.
The point that I am making is we are neither "saints nor sinners". We have an issue with food and our weight. I once tried to compare my weight as a disability and my sister, who has a son with multiple developmental disabilities, corrected me and said "You can do something about your weight".
I have since learned to be more sensitive to others even though I wear my weakness on my body. I hope that this woman will as well. However, IF that comment was heard by that person and it enabled him to walk out of there and begin a diet the next day, would that be a good thing?
We too are judging that woman as though what she said was inherently wrong. The delivery was wrong we all agree but the content of the message was what we all need to hear---often.
However, as someone pointed out "actions speak louder than words". She did reference her visit by saying this is why we don't come here often.
Recently when I did go to McDonald's for a quick meal and wanted to stay on my food plan, when I asked specific questions regarding the food I was about to order I could tell that the "help" had no idea about what they were serving or what was in it? Who goes to McDonald's and expects to eat healthy? The "help" isn't trained to know anything more than "will that be eaten in here or to go?"
Reality check: I have been "mean" in as much as what I have failed to do as what I have done.
Let this be a lesson for us in both how we treat others----big mouths or big butts.
IMO, the problem with her statement, in addition to the delivery, was that she didn't know that man. The statement she made, that "thats why we don't come here often", implies that the man she was commenting on ate at McDonalds all the time to her kids. Unless she knew him or his eating habits, she had no way of knowing what sort of eating made him heavy, or even if he had a disorder that made it hard for him to lose weight. The idea of making an assumption, based solely on someone's size, that they eat a lot of fast food and other unhealthy stuff, is offensive to me (and moreso, to the MANY overweight folks who DO eat healthy things...there are many overweight folks who just eat too much of the healthy stuff, including people who would never set foot in a McDonalds or any other fast food establishment...I can think of several on this site alone, in addition to several more I know in my personal life).
She basically stereotyped heavier people as "eating McDonalds all the time", which isn't accurate or fair, and passed that stereotype onto her kids, not to MENTION doing so in a rude, none-of-her-business sort of way. That sort of stereotyping is, IMO, inherently wrong.
And I also disagree that people need to hear the "you're fat and it is unhealthy" message often. Are there ANY overweight people out there who are completely in the dark about how they are overweight and/or about the health problems that being overweight is causing them? Messages about the health effects of being overweight DO need to get out to kids who don't know any better, but once you know what "overweight" is and what types of behaviors cause it, I'm not sure it does ANY good to have that message reinforced over and over again, and especially in mean, rude ways. Does anyone really believe that the man had no idea that he was overweight and it was unhealthy, and therefore hearing that woman's comment enabled him to walk out and begin a diet where he hadn't been able to do so before?
I have never met anyone who has successfully lost weight and maintained that loss without making a PERSONAL commitment to do so, not because someone said they should or they heard repeatedly how unhealthy it was, but because they had personal motivators and made the decision to stop. Some random chick who judges you in McDonalds is NOT going to be that personal motivator for successful weight loss...she is most likely going to just make you upset and depressed, neither of which helps in weight control.
Last edited by mandalinn82; 10-23-2007 at 03:37 PM.
Oh yes, I would have went off on her. I try to hold back when it comes to that kind of thing when my kids are around, but still.. I would have to say something.
awesome replies! this might sound weird -- i know she was a big mouth obnoxious woman, but why'd she say it about him? I was right there too...there was another guy in line that was really heavy...but that guy, all alone in the corner shovelling in food loooked....vulnerable it's almost like the rest of us were standing up straight and looking straight ahead and might not have been so easy to pick on.... like a bully almost
does that make sense? days later it's still pissing me off! I hate bullies, whether it's to fellow biggies or anyone else, bullies suck!
