DH is 6ft 130lbs, very skinny! He basically lives on junk food. I do all the cooking in the house. He claims he doesnt know how and doesnt even attempt to open a can.
I dont know why he left them on the stove. ANy other time before he brought home junk that I liked he put it up so I didnt know where it was. I Have even filled grocery bags with his stuff and handed it to him to put up away from me. 40lbs ago he didnt like the attention I was getting from other guys. Even though I never acted on any of the comments or offers I was please that men were checking me out b/c I never got that when I was 200+. DH always tells me about girls checking him out and talking to him so I didnt see the problem in telling him about it. Well there was a big problem! Suddenly I kept being accussed of infidelity. So maybe since Im trying to lose the 40lbs that I gained back its a problem with him. I have no idea. I do know that its not like him to bring things inside. He is very bad about not cleaning his car and wont even bring in his lunch bag everyday. So I think he was trying to set me up with those donuts.
It wouldnt serve any purpose to throw the stuff out b/c he would just go get more and tell me not to do that again. He doesnt care about wasting money like i do.
He does have a junk cabinet filled with things he likes but I dont so I dont touch the stuff. Its not like he is being deprived but he wanted donuts he could have at least put them somewhere else so I dont have to see them when I 1st walk in the door.
slimmingsi- If your GF does that to you I would seriously reconsider my relationship with her. You need more respect than that. But your gf may also think if you get all hot and stuff you may leave her for someone else.
Wow, I have to say that I'm really surprised by some of the responses on this thread. No, he didnt pry her mouth open and shove the doughnuts in....but, you guys are really missing the point. Our spouse's are supposed to be our partners in life. They are supposed to want what is best for us. Good health is best for us. A whole box of doughnuts is nothing less than sabotage of Cara's efforts to achieve good health. Her partner has let her down and this is unacceptable. IMHO,Cara, if he's not going to support you, then its time to play some hardball. Stand up for yourself and don't make excuses for him....throw the damn junk away if he brings it home! Its your home, too, and you deserve to have a temptation free environment. And, even if he is slender, he doesnt need a whole box of doughnuts either! These should be occasional treats.
Last edited by GirlyGirlSebas; 09-14-2007 at 03:15 PM.
cara1980, I agree with Kim & others that we are responsible for the food we put into our mouths. However, it is reasonable to ask for a little support from our loved ones, and to hope that though we are met with temptations in a lot of situations - work, social occasions with friends, etc., you might try to make your own home a 'safe zone.' My roommates totally respect my healthy eating habits, don't bring large quantities of treats into the house, and will keep things in their cabinets (read: out of my sight) at my request. Yes, sometimes I have to ignore the queso dip during a football game or ice cream in the freezer, but they don't bombarb me with it, which it sort of sounds like your hubby did in this case.
Do you & DH live by yourselves? As in, he bought a dozen donuts for the two of you alone? I think that if this is the case, it is a reasonable request that he not bring foods like this into the house, or only bring what he will eat. Have you had any heart-to-hearts about him supporting your weight loss? Is he generally supportive about your efforts? If you haven't, I would first suggest sitting down with your husband and have a talk about your efforts and how he feels about them. Explain why being healthy is important to you, and that you are working on your self-control but it is hard when there is a big box of donuts sitting there. After that, yes, I would suggest throwing the food away if he insists on bringing it home "for you." Or put 6 donuts ("his half") in a bag and put it on his dresser, and throw "your half" away. Something like that so he realizes that you're serious.
Good luck! And remember - we all have slip-ups and eat donuts once in a while. Don't be too hard on yourself for eating a few donuts. This is a new day (or afternoon, in this case), for you to start fresh.
Why is there such a double standard for the way people treat others who have addictions? He specifically came home to drop off the donuts, left them in plain view, TOLD HER THEY WERE THERE, and did not eat one himself. Obviously this was not just a case of the hubby wanting a snack. This looks like a blatant attempt to get her to crack and thats totally unfair!! If she were an alcoholic, would her hubby buy a bottle of vodka, leave it on the counter, call her to tell her it was there, and then pick on her about drinking it? **** no! That would be totally unacceptable and everybody would agree that he had done something despicable. What about offering a cigarette to a person who is trying to quit smoking? These things are obviously not appropriate and it should be no different from someone who is trying to kick a food habit. Yes, we are all supposed to control what goes in to our mouths but that does not excuse ANYONE from this kind of bullying behavior.
On Saturday I had a meeting and I asked DH for a couple of dollars since I didnt have any cash. He knew we were having the meeeting at a restuarant so he asked why I needed the money and I said to get me a tea to drink there. He said I couldnt have one b/c it had sugar in it and if I didnt eat the donuts I could have had the tea. I told him he shouldnt have left them on the stove for me. He started laughing so I confronted him about it. He did leave them for me to find on PURPOSE! We didnt get into the reasons why he did that b/c I had to leave but I did get it out of him that he meant to do that and has no remorse about it. He even gave me extra money and told me to get something to eat there (buffet restuarant)
I hope you have since discussed this with him! I don't know any other details about the rest of your marriage and I realize this isn't probably the time or place to bring this up, but his behavior can't be considered normal. I was married for 5 years to a man that controlled me just like that. When I tried to lose weight he would deliberately attempt to sabotage my efforts because he wanted me to be fat so no other man would look at me. Unless he has a DAMN GOOD REASON for doing this to you (and personally, I can't dream up a single one!!) then I hope you will take a long hard look at your relationship.
On Saturday I had a meeting and I asked DH for a couple of dollars since I didnt have any cash. He knew we were having the meeeting at a restuarant so he asked why I needed the money and I said to get me a tea to drink there. He said I couldnt have one b/c it had sugar in it and if I didnt eat the donuts I could have had the tea. I told him he shouldnt have left them on the stove for me. He started laughing so I confronted him about it. He did leave them for me to find on PURPOSE! We didnt get into the reasons why he did that b/c I had to leave but I did get it out of him that he meant to do that and has no remorse about it. He even gave me extra money and told me to get something to eat there (buffet restuarant)
Wow. I am really sorry that you had to go through something like this with your husband. To me it is quite hurtful.
I don't know the whole story since it is between the two of you, but it might not be a bad idea to seek counseling to sort it all out.
I'm so sorry! There is not much worse than feeling like the person who you should be able to turn to for the most support is the one you feel is not very supportive at all. That just hurts.
I'm sorry, it just seems so sadistic to me, and I'm usually the one defending the clueless men who bring home treats. But this admittedly wasn't cluelessness, but a practical joke at your expense.
LOL well i could but he already makes jokes at his own expense regarding that area. I'll hide his fishing pole, hunting bow or something equally as important to him.
Stop playing games! Insist on seeing a counselor or going to talk to your clergy! This isn't just naughty tricks, it's more serious. He is disrespecting you and making you a joke--and he's also being sadistic.
"See how you like it" isn't the point. Yes, you're the one who ate the donut, but you know, if my SO did that to me, the donuts would have gone in the garbage and the fight would have been on!
The visual on this was just too much.
