Lynn, it sounds like you and I have a very similar body type. Though I am way overweight, I still have an hourglass--I have big boobs, my waist definitely curves in, and flared hips (and my belly and butt is definitely where a lot of my weight settles). Buying clothes that show off my waist definitely makes me look thinner than I am.
In addition to the previously-mentioned wrap dresses, I get a lot of dresses with ties or sashes at the waist (not huge 80s style bows or anything)--it allows me to draw things so it narrows over the waist and then flows over my stomach, hips and butt, providing a bit of camouflage for those problem areas. Though their website is kind of a pain and it takes some looking, I have a lot of luck with dresses on QVC--stylish and they carry a nice range of sizes. Nordstrom, if you have them where you are, also has a lot of nice things in plus-sizes--tailored, as people have mentioned, not just huge.
I also like tailored button-down shirts--the kind that can go under a suit jacket or be worn alone. If you don't button all the way, you have that v-neck, and decent-quality ones tend to be tailored to dip in at the waist and flare again at the hips. Pair it with a nice A-line skirt and you have a very crisp, classic look. I also like wearing these with denim skirts for a country-casual look and if you are a jeans-wearer, they look good with those, as well.
I have darker hair than you do, but I do have pale skin with pinky undertones. I try to stay away from whites and beiges for tops since a) they can make you look bigger and b) really wash me out. I tend to like pastel shades--lilac and eggshell blue, as well as blue-based (rather than orange, which clashes with my skin tone) reds or dark pink. I also like black--because I have enough pink undertones, I don't look like a reanimated corpse and it is slimming.
Overall, though, I look for dresses that show off that waistline and give me a bit of boobaliciousness. If you've got 'em, may as well (tastefully) flaunt them. Basically, try stuff on, see what colors and cuts and styles you feel best in. As cliche as it is, if you feel you look good, that will project.
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