I had just dealt with a major depressive episode that landed me with 50lbs heavier and I felt that I could never be happy if I stayed heavy. I thought that happiness could only come with slimness.
Well, I am currently trying to deal with the fallout that such a mindset can result in. Because happiness has nothing to do with weight at heart.
But, that being said, life is easier being lighter. Clothes can fit, planes can fit me in "comfortably", I can cross my legs and I feel generally less ungainly. And in that life is easier I do feel a bit happier I suppose but I have learnt along the way that weight is not the source of happiness or unhappiness.
Initially, it was pure FEAR. I had had to face reality and see what I weighed after avoiding the scale for more than 10 years. I made a decision that day that I had to lose some weight. I remember telling myself that I would try something for a few months, and if it didn't work, I would keep trying something else until something did work. At that moment, I would have been happy just getting below 300 lbs. After I started though, I could see how it wasn't as difficult as I had assumed it would be. I was eating food that I loved, I wasn't hungry, I was feeling so much better. Seeing the loss on the scale was also a great motivation at that point.
These may seem a little corny but here are my reasons:
1. My health (having a doctor actual tell me that I’m going to be diabetic if I don’t change my life)
2. Making a commitment for myself not to please someone else
3. This website … it’s provided me support, humor, structure, and accountability
1) For the first time, I'm at a place in my life where I can be selfish and put my health before everything else and not feel guilty or deprived over it.
2) Heart disease in the family.
3) I deserve it. Finally realizing that I'm worth all this work = priceless.
4) Having an actual comprehensive plan and specific goals.
I made up my mind that it isn't a DIET. I made up my mind that I needed to make changes for the rest of my life, not just to "diet" till I got where I wanted to be. I have "dieted" my way up to 270 pounds ~ I knew what I had to do was NOT diet.....but to change my life....and make sure it was something I could do forever.
Okay. I'm young.. 22. I had a terrible time in college and felt compelled to blame my weight. After I graduated, I moved home and took a , unchallenging, ridiculous job that I hated (and continued to hate, I"m still here after all). I gained even more weight.
For months I essentially moped around. I don't have friends in this area, really, I was bored and lonely and depressed. And I felt OLD. Literally, when I thought about turning 23 and 24 and 25 and still being trapped in this hideous body, it made my skin crawl. My life already felt like it was over.
I shouldn't feel this way, and I finally realized this. Almost all of this is due to my weight, as I've figured out over the years. And I don't want that anymore. I want to be healthy and proud of myself. That's what makes me stick to it. I want to be in control of my life.
I'm just sick and tired of being..........sick and tired ! Simple...
and I know that losing this weight will help me to feel better physically.
I'm working on feeling better about myself too........my self esteem is at about zero.....and I need to just take care of me for awhile....
for years and years I've been wife and mommy......and my children are grown up now......ds is 25 and dd is 16...and I'm a grandma too!
I want to be able to feel better about myself and be able to be active with my grandchildren!!!
What's different this time is that I really, really want it. It's hard to describe, but I'm really motivated, whereas other times I was doing things halfway, not really invested in the process.
I think the biggest thing that's making this different is when I went to the doctors' office and weighed in at 297 pounds. I'd always vowed to never reached 300 pounds, and here I was 3 pounds away from getting there. It was a huge wake-up call.
Also, my cholestoral is too high, and I'm only 27 years old. There's no reason for me to have high cholesteral at this age except for my weight. That was another wake-up call.
For myself (and as others have said), it was finally coming to the realization that I had to figure out what I could do for LIFE, not just for now. In the back of my head, I was always resentful of "diets" and "programs", because the intelligent part of me knew that almost every plan under the sun boils down to simple calorie restriction. Yet, for a long time, I tried plan after plan....and tried to choke down the resentment I felt for myself that I couldn't just do it myself, even though I knew I was buying into the hype.
It took a while to reach this place. The focus shifted from day to day to a longer term picture, and I sat down one day and wrote down what I thought I could live with. It's been revised a couple of times....but in a good way, as I've now gone from a diet that included healthier things to a diet that is mostly whole foods. I feel freedom now, as I'm not living according to someone else's rules - I make my own rules for my health and the way that I eat. It's released me from thoughts of being "good" or "bad", and allows me to build my day one choice at a time. It's quite hard to explain, actually....but it's working for me, better than anything ever before.
For myself, I feel like a weight has been lifted (ha - no pun intended!) now that I'm not looking for the next diet. I feel like I eat and live like a "normal person", and I don't spend so much time thinking about food and what I can and can't have. Because it's so freeing, it's been easy to stay on track.
Well, this is my second time being serious enough to stick it out. The first time around was in 2004, when something just sort of clicked and I said to myself, "Enough," and worked my *** off to lose about 80 pounds in 8 months. I was maniacal about eating clean and I haunted this absolute godsend of a board, and I succeeded. I guess what made me stick to it that first time around was the realization that losing weight and getting healthy was within my power and was simply a matter of making one healthy decision after another until I saw results. I made a plan, and I worked the plan. Then when I started to see results, it was so energizing and motivating, and I rode that energy until I got derailed by a cancer diagnosis.
Cut to the present, when, after beating the cancer the first time and then relapsing and consequently getting a stem cell transplant (bone marrow transplant,) I find that my reasons for sticking to it now are both the same and different. In addition to all of the same reasons I had for sticking it out the first time out, I have some new ones that come with the enlightenment which results from facing a life-threatening illness. It's pretty much like this: I didn't go through 2 years of **** in fighting for my life to have my life limited by things which are under my control. That's BS. I didn't fight for a life which holds any shame, or regret, or any avoidable limitations.
None of us knows what lies around the corner -- I sure as **** didn't know back then, when I was an active member of this board and happily losing, that I was just headed into 2 years of hellish treatment for Hodgkins Lymphoma. I thank God that I was in better health going into treatment, and I thank God for the availability of the treatment itself. I pray that it works, but regardless, I am not going to live another day of my life regretting my reflection in the mirror or the choices I made yesterday. ****, no! I didn't have control over that diagnosis, and I know that I have done everything possible to beat my aggressive cancer. I know also that it will NOT be possible to say that I gave up control over my weight. All of the little choices that are under my control, all of those little choices that we all make each day of our lives in pursuit of weight loss, THOSE choices and THOSE moments are part and parcel of my fight for my life.
If I have only a little more time on this earth, I want it to be spent proud of myself and in pursuit of increased ability, heightened self-esteem, and improved (controllable) health.
So that's where I am this time around. To all of you, I can only say that you don't know your capabilities until they are well and truly tested, and I GUARANTEE you that you will ALWAYS underestimate them at the onset of a challenge, whether it's weight loss or a cancer fight or anything else. So embrace your inner BADASS and know that you DO have it within you to stick it out this time. Tell yourself you have no other choice but to do it.....once the element of choice is removed, everything gets pretty clarified.
Big s to all of you -- I'm very proud of each and every one of you.
My reason is my Dr. visit.I have high blood pressure,borderline diabetes,RA,lupus.And carrying this much extra weight around makes it so tiring for me.I have grandbabies I would love to see grow up.My daddy died at 57 because of heartfailure.I have been on lots of diets starting about 13 and is was nothing to just drop a few pounds.Now that I'm 50,its a lot harder to lose.Also this isnt a diet for me it is a total lifestyle change.The way I eat and exercise now is to be able to have a healthy next 50 years.And this web site has been an answered prayer.It really helps me stay foucsed on my goal.
Just the knowledge for the first time in my life that this is not a diet...I'll be doing this for the rest of my life. It started really slow and grew from what was going on in my mind, just a healthier way of eating. The weight loss was just a by-product this time. So much easier this way!
I am doing this for alot of the same reasons as many of you. I want a happier and healthier life. I want to be the best me I can be!! That doesn't mean skinny just thinner. I also want my youth back! I am very shy. I know if I were to lose this weight I would be more confident. I get more and more confident, the smaller I become. I would get out and do more things such as socializing or not being ashamed to go out to really public places (like the mall- yikes) I haven't gone out on a date for years. SOME of it is disinterest but the rest is shyness and shame. Men have flirted with me and I give them all red lights! I don't make eye contact when they flirt and etc. So, I am ready to go out and be a woman. I haven't had my hair profressionally done in a while. My eyebrows are thick and wild. I didn't want to bring attention to myself; especially male. Anyway, I have 34 more pounds before I get a mini makeover! I want to care about me and to have a life!
Short Term Goal:
Edited to add: Lessofsarahtolove: I have just completed radiation therapy. About 2 1/2 weeks ago. Been there and done that! God Bless you!!
I won't have taste buds for possibly another 6-8 months so I thought maybe I could get some major weight loss out of the way. I know when I get them back I still have to eat the same. I like healthy foods like salad and fruit but without tastebuds I can skip things like salad dressing, butter, salt and things of the like for the time being. Yeah for me! Haha
Last edited by RoyalAthena; 04-07-2007 at 04:15 AM.
UH Oh Karen, go on wit yo skinny self!!!!!!! 60lbs girl......?????
I'm Serious about this because my weight has alot to do with my attitude and i know it, im not happy with myself, so i know take it on others sometimes, I had a great man in my life, yea we argued and stuff but we loved to do that, cuz makin up was fun, but man I was extremely insecure, and said some of the me most ugliest things that u could never tell someone especially someone you love. And I basically pushed him away......i was given plenty of warnings but i was sooo stubborn. How can I expect anyone to love or respect me if i cant even do those thing for myself???? I love people, people are important to me, I would help a stranger in need if I could. I also realized that I have to take care of me first before i try to care for another......Im sticking with this, because even if i dont get to a size 10 I know ill be alot happier with they way my mind and body feels with the exercising and healthy eating.....
I, US, YOU, AND WE, ARE SOOOOOOOOO WORTH IT, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE THIS WAY, BUT WE DID PUT OURSELVES IN THIS SITUATION SO I, AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN FIX IT!
I, US, YOU, AND WE, ARE SOOOOOOOOO WORTH IT, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE THIS WAY, BUT WE DID PUT OURSELVES IN THIS SITUATION SO I, AND YOU ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT CAN FIX IT!
So true girl! We are the only ones who made ourselves this way, but even better, we have the power to change. This is one of the few things in my life that I have absolute power over, and I'm going to use that to my advantage.
, unchallenging, ridiculous job that I hated (and continued to hate, I"m still here after all). I gained even more weight.
That's BS. I didn't fight for a life which holds any shame, or regret, or any avoidable limitations. 
All of the little choices that are under my control, all of those little choices that we all make each day of our lives in pursuit of weight loss, THOSE choices and THOSE moments are part and parcel of my fight for my life.
To all of you, I can only say that you don't know your capabilities until they are well and truly tested, and I GUARANTEE you that you will ALWAYS underestimate them at the onset of a challenge, whether it's weight loss or a cancer fight or anything else. So embrace your inner BADASS and know that you DO have it within you to stick it out this time. Tell yourself you have no other choice but to do it.....once the element of choice is removed, everything gets pretty clarified. 
s to all of you -- I'm very proud of each and every one of you. 
I know when I get them back I still have to eat the same. I like healthy foods like salad and fruit but without tastebuds I can skip things like salad dressing, butter, salt and things of the like for the time being. Yeah for me! Haha
