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YOU: On a Diet - and other Oprah inspired diets Includes Dr Phil, Bob Greene, and YOU: On a Diet

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Old 10-13-2003, 11:00 AM   #1
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Lightbulb Discussion 4- Key Three: A No Fail Environment

Hi Everybody!

I thought I would go ahead and open up this discussion for everyone.... I know there are lots of you that are ahead.

So post away!
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Old 10-14-2003, 06:19 PM   #2
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Hi Everyone, newbie here. Just got my book & got caught up with the reading. I have read some of the other posts and there is some amazing stuff written. So glad to be among you all.

I think I can deal with a junk cabinet that I just don't go into. I do the shopping but we are all adults in my house. So I buy the junk cuz, yanno it IS for them. From now on I simply will not buy the junk. If my family wants it they can have it, but they have to get off their butts & go buy it themselves and I will stay out of their cabinet.

I have already done the big clothes thing...gave away 3 large bags.
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Old 10-15-2003, 07:16 AM   #3
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I have finished the book and I absolutely loved it but following it is harder-I got rid of my size 14 jeans-3 pairs-signed up for the pool-all food out of sight-following healthy eating but not eating enough protein and vegetables and too many carbs. Can't eat dairy. I'm also allergic to husband's snacks. I want to make this weight loss permanent-I am only 2 lbs to goal but would like to lose 3 more. Bye for now Mima
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Old 10-15-2003, 11:28 AM   #4
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Mima, try upping your protein with Whey Protein Powder, mixed in cold water and a little crushed ice. That is, if you can tolerate whey. Food allergies have got to be the pits. Best wishes for your success!

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Old 10-15-2003, 12:16 PM   #5
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This "no fail thing" has been interesting for me. I wish I could throw out my large clothes, but dang it they still fit me! I will have trouble with throwing them out, because of past experience. I lost a 100# once and got rid of all my "fat clothes" and gained it all back and not put very much expense into my wardrobe lately. If I could fit into my scrubs, well that was good enough. Everyone in my family has told me I need some new clothes, but I just say I am not going to buy any until I'm thinner. My coat is 8 years old. I found one on sale for $110 and it was beautiful and it actually fit me and at my size that is a miracle in itself. My husband was angry because I wouldn't buy it. My response was "I won't be this fat next year and I'm not going to spend that much on a coat." I thought about this and realized my school of thought on this was: 1. I'm not worth 110 dollars
2. If I bought this coat I might still be in that size next year! What a defeatist attitude, so negative. Well, I'm still not buying a new coat this year, but I'm buying a beaut next year and I'm going to spend $120 on it, LOL, and it will not be a size 28-30 it will be a 12-14 size maybe even smaller!

I realize how much food I have squirreled away around this house. If it is on sale I buy it, might never use it but it is there. Now what is that all about? I'm gonna go through my freezer and cupboards and pitch it or give it away. We were so poor when we were kids and I guess I'm afraid that I will not have enough. I heard somewhere that you have 60,000 eating experiences in you life and evidently I have been trying to cram them in all at one time. I've got such an obsession with food! Now to break that! Find that I am still trying to eat by the clock, rather than by true hunger! But, trying to space it 5 hours apart with no eating in between, and not eat over 500 cal. at a setting. Usually, I stay around 400 cals. and that leaves me enough cals. left over to eat an apple or two.

You all hang in there! I think about everyone of you and have put you all on my pray list.
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Old 10-15-2003, 05:55 PM   #6
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NAN! That's exactly what I used to do! Buy all this food on sale and had it everywhere. My cabinets were stuffed, and it was piled up in the basement too. And I would keep buying more and more. I have done this for at least 8 years since moving into this house. We even have a 2nd side by side refrigerastor in the basement, and a large freezer in the garage.

BUT, when I decided to change, all the food went. I cleaned the kitchen cabinets out, and use a cabinet that's out of the way for baking stuff. I also emptied the basement shelves, both friges and the freezer. All the illegal food, and most of it was, went to my son and his fiance. They are still eating it, and that was in July, and before Dr. Phil. It was something I knew I ad to deal with and DO.

I figured out that I did this too because of events in my childhood. My mother did groceries on Saturday, and all the goodies were gone by Monday. But my best friend's house always had plenty of food - whatever you had a tase for was there. This really impressed me, so when I became a domestic goddess, my house always had plenty of food, when I was married anyway. When I was a struggling single mom in between marriages, it was different, but we ate fast food most of the time because of my schedule.

Trick is you recognize WHY you keep all that food. I can attest, you can't eat what's not there. So the decision is up to you what to do with it. If you can't handle grocery shopping until the new habits kick in - get someone else to do it for you from your list.

As for the coat, and you not being worthy of a $110.00 coat is absolute bull. You are worthy of a $1,10.00 coat! So go back to the store, find one in the next smaller size, and put it in layaway. Use it as a goal. That's what I did back in March and continued all summer. I'd put smaller clothes in layaway, because if I didn't make the goal by the time came to get them out, I could always get my money back. And I will tell you, I got all the clothes out, and a good portion of them are already in the give away pile. When the summer clothes went on clearance, I picked up several items in sizes 12 and 14. They are mine, they hang there where I look at them at least weekly, and I can imagine what I will look like in them. I bought a cute pair of capris, in size 14 that I use as a "pantsometer." When I bought them in July, I couldn't get them on all the way. Now they are on but too tight across the butt. My mantra through all this has been, "Wait until they see me next year."

I am currently in a challenge on the Buddy Forum where I promised myself a black leather jacket if I make my 10/31 goal. (That's why I have all the numbers under my signature.) I tell ya, these little mind games work! Please don't use your past experiences with this new way of living and eating. Wipe the slate clean, one step and one day at a time. To avoid eating between "clock" meals, forget the clock for sure, and try eating smaller meals 5 or 6 times a day. I had to do that when I started weight lifting because of the necessary protein intake. It took me awhile to get used to, and some days I can only force down 5, but it is doable. Some nights I will just have a big bowl of vegetables and mozerella cheese for supper while my husband eats because my calorie or carb intake is close to max. For dessert or evening snack, I have a sugar-free fudgesicle, or SF Jello or a cup of Fat free hot chocolate.

It took me months to get the right eating and exercise plan under my belt. (No pun intended.) Every body is different and you have to search, research and experiment to find what's best for you.

If *I* can do this, anybody can. Don't think for a minute that me or anyone else doesn't fall off the wagon now and then. Every day is a new chance to climb back on.

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Old 10-15-2003, 06:18 PM   #7
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Dip, I love your posts. You always have so much to offer us and your words are very motivating. You are so close to ONEderland. I would be so excited! I'm happy today because I'm at 279. No more 280s for me! I'm on vacation next week and don't plan to weigh in again until October 29. I KNOW I'll have a good loss. Vacation is being spent at home starting projects for Christmas so I won't be tempted by vacation food and I always drink lots of water when I'm home. I find it's very hard to sew and eat at the same time!

I don't have any fat clothes other than the ones I'm currently wearing! I do however, have a few dresses a couple of sizes smaller that I plan to wear again before spring. I have a great red dress that I hope to wear by Christmas, but know I'll wear it by Valentine's day. I can't wait to get rid of the clothes I'm wearing. They are soooo old and I'm sooooo tired of them!!

Have a great evening.

Marilyn
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Old 10-16-2003, 08:20 AM   #8
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Marilyn, very sweet of you to say that. I hope I'm not coming acrossed as a 'know-it-all'. I just want to share my journey with you all because I know this stuff works. I have a mentor here at 3FC who has inspired me and keeps me going, We believe in the philosophy of 'passing it on,' and that's what I'm trying to do. So I am making myself available to anyone who is serious about changing. Feel free to PM me any time, anybody. And look at you, already losing and setting goals! Put that red dress out where you can see it often, even if it's just a glimpse each day. Use it as a meauring stick. Go ahead, put it on, and try it on again after your next weigh-in. Pick out the shoes, and jewelry. Imagine your holiday hair and try new make-up ideas. When was the last time you took a few hours in the bathroom experimenting with hair and make-up, like we did as teenagers? Another great thing about the journey is when *you* accept that this is about you, for you, nothing else matters time wise. Those who depend on you will respect and accept it once they see you are serious.

>>"I am learning to be patient and compassionate with myself as I gain the courage to be true to myself. "<<

The courage to be true to myself. Wow, that is so true. And the patience? I'm swiping this from another lady in another forum where I hang out:

>>". . .a great story that has been told many times about Thomas Edison. It seems that he ran into an acquaintance who asked him how he could remain so enthusiastic about his work, when, despite countless experiments, he didn't have any results to show for it.

"Results!" he cried. "Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work."

That's us -- we're learning what won't work. And those are really really valuable lessons."<<

Oh, and about approaching 'ONEderland' - I am scared. I am now at the weight I was 11 years ago when I got married. But because of exercise and weight lifting, I know I don't look the same 11 years ago as I do now. I feel like I can do anything compared to 6 months ago, when my butt was so big, I knocked stuff off shelves in stores with it. I am afraid that I will accept this as comfortable and good enough, but in my heart I know it's not. At last check, my body fat was 32%, and that's not lean enough for my age healthwise. So right now, that's the thought that keeps me going. And all those size 12 and 14's! And my mentor. And Dr. Phil.

Have a safe and healthy day!

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Old 10-16-2003, 11:22 AM   #9
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This is a great chapter, I have been working this one for sometime now. I did a post under the first chapter about when I quit smoking, and I, on my own, applied these exact principles in doing that. It absolutely works.

I just made my environment support that I don't smoke, and it did make it MUCH easier. I have applied those priniciples in how I stock my kitchen. If I buy a box of cookies, I will eat them over the course of a day or two until they are gone, I cannot eat just one or two at a time. I have learned that when I want cookies, I go to the bakery and buy 2 cookies, this way I don't give myself the chance to overeat. I learned this from a trainer/food coach that I worked with years ago.

I always order special off the menu and order special meals on the plane, and do my best to keep to the three bite rule when I eat of with deserts.

But, even though I have this down, the other issues are still stronger and keep the weight on, but I feel that this key is a necessary tool to support all of the other keys.

I did however get an immediate headache after looking at the next key.....can't even remember what it was, so it must be a major one!!!

Happy reading...
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Old 10-16-2003, 12:40 PM   #10
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Rowan, Thanks for reminding me about the 3 bite rule! I haven't applied it for awhile, and this is a good time for me to start again!

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Old 10-16-2003, 01:24 PM   #11
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What's the three bite rule?

Rowan, I can really relate to the cookies. I have conned myself into thinking I can "eat just one" so many times. I know that if I can just have one or two cookies, my sweet tooth with quiet down. Wrong!! I'll plow through that package like a addict. I guess I am somewhat of a sugar addict, though, since I have so much trouble getting off of it once I eat it again. Anyway, I now simply don't buy the stuff. When the cravings hit in the evening, I'm too lazy to go to the store to satisfy them. I ate some dry wheat chex last night when the craving started. Not quite the same as sweets but at least the need to nibble was satisfied.

Marilyn
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Old 10-16-2003, 02:40 PM   #12
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dip -

I just had to laugh at the line about "when my butt was so big I knocked stuff off the shelves in stores."

I thought I had the patent on the "shelf-cleaning ***."

Seriously, this thread has really been inspiring.

I'm coming to the realization that part of making my no-fail environment is going to have to be limiting my baking. I LOVE to bake!!! Esp. when the fall weather comes on. On "Cooking Thin" Kathleen Daelemans said she had the same problem when she was fat, saying there's something soothing about the "rhythm of the kitchen." There IS something soothing about those repetitive hand motions (like stirring --- and eating!).

Sometimes I've been baking bones for my and my friends' dogs, just because I want to bake--and there's nothing tempting in the dog treats for me if I don't use peanut butter in them.

I've learned to ask myself when I'm in the store and feel an attack of "junk food lust" whether I'd be able to limit myself with that food in the house or am I already, in the back of my mind, planning a stress-relief binge. If the answer is the latter, I don't buy it.

I think the thing that makes permanent weight loss/weight control so tough is that it demands all those noble virtues that are sometimes just downright inconvenient or painful to practice: courage, discipline, honesty, determination.
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Old 10-16-2003, 03:06 PM   #13
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>>"I thought I had the patent on the "shelf-cleaning ***.""<<

Sami, ROFLMAO! Great post, too! And we have that Fall baking thing in common, and dog treats is an excellent idea! And since I have 6, I'm going to do a google search for some recipes. See! We learn new tricks each day, from each other to kick the old habits. Yipppeeeee!

Marilyn - the 3 bite rule is to help in not depriving yourself. You see something you really want, but know it's not what you should have. So you take 3 bites, putting the fork or spoon down in between bites, savor and enjoy. When you finish the 3rd bite, throw the treat away, down the disposal or give to someone who will eat the rest and send them out of the room. (DH comes in handy for that.) You've tasted it, savored it, enjoyed it, but didn't eat enough of it to do much damage. This works well if you are dining out and just have to have that dessert, or live with people who are not eating your new way.

Something my husband tipped me about that I had no idea. Ever go out to eat, you're hungry. and that salad or appetizer tastes so good? Well, it's a physiological thing. When you're hungry, your taste buds are heightened. Just part of the wonderful way our bodies work. By the time you get to the main course, taste buds are calming down. By dessert, taste buds are at minimum because your stomach is full. He told me this after I had eaten 3 desserts at a buffet, and I commented that they didn't taste as good as I thought they would (eyes) and that the salads tasted much better. That would have been a perfect time for me to exercise the 3 bite rule instead of finishing them off, even though I was full.

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Old 10-17-2003, 07:53 PM   #14
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Dip, thanks so much for the cyber hugs!

I have no fat clothes to toss out...I'm wearing them...and somehow I just don't think that walking around nude is what Dr. Phil had in mind!

My kitchen is mostly legal except for some goldfish crackers my DD likes to snack on. Every once in a while, my DH (he does the grocery shopping) comes home with junk, and I yell at him. Shortly thereafter, I'm stuffing it down my throat...especially if it is chocolate.

I thought this chapter was good, but not as helpful as the last one, "Healing Feelings." Now that was profound!!!

I don't have much time during the week to read, because I have so much schoolwork to take care of (I'm a teacher) during the week. But this weekend, I will try to find some time for the next chapter.

You are all wonderful, and your postings have been very inspirational. Thankyou!

Summer
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Old 10-18-2003, 02:31 PM   #15
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i have never been one to eat and watch t.v. and at the sametime so having the t.v. as a food free zone is no problem for me. when my folks are having their snacks at happy hour, i just go upstairs and get on my p.c. if the weather is decent, i'll go for a walk instead.
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