We've been so busy here lately, I feel like I can hardly keep up. But I made a deal with myself to try to spend less time on the computer throughout the day and more time playing with Aaron. He will be two next month, and it's just starting to hit me how fleeting this time really is,and I need to make the most of it.
Atkins continues to go well. I have had some planned cheats, but I am able to get right back up on the horse afterward, so I'm not going to cry my eyes out over that one.
Question for you all: How much would it bother you if your spouse or significant other was overweight? Honestly? I am married to a thin person who has always been thin and mentally, I can't see how on earth he could be attracted to me. But then I think to myself, if he were overweight I would still have no trouble being attracted to him. Just something for us to think about when we start putting our value as people in terms of how much we weigh...
I think with your question it would depend how he was when I met him. If he was overweight to begin with and I was attracted to him, then it probably wouldn't make a difference. If after being together for a long time he gained a lot of weight, I probably wouldn't be AS attracted, but the personality and my feelings would make him more attractive. Does that make sense? I know what you mean though, I can't imagine that anyone would be attracted to me when there are so many thin, in shape, pretty girls out there. But then again, maybe that's why I'm always single.
I really feel like eating today. I had 2 slices of pizza last night, not really sure how many calories, they had some sort of soft cheese, maybe ricotta and tomatoes. But my manager was just talking about how the team is going to my absoulte favorite mexican restaurant tonight for dinner (I already have plans), and now I am just ravenous! I'm eating watermelon and already had breakfast, but I feel like I just want to EAT.
TTOM has hit today with a vengeance and the LAST thing i want to do right now is exercise. but it does usually make me feel better if i do a light to moderate workout. and i am determined to reach my goals this time so as soon as i'm finished posting here i'm gonna hop on my mini-stepper. unfortunately i also just feel like eating and eating and eating (so i know how you feel Lexxy!!!!!!!)
Jayne - regarding your question...my BF is overweight and at first i didn't know if i'd be attracted to him physically. but as we got to know each other i saw the wonderful person he is and now when i look at him THAT is what i see...i don't see the fact that he probably should lose about 40 pounds. i think it is just variable depending on whether you are attracted to the person in other ways...usually if you are they end up becoming more attractive to you physically. does that make sense???
ok..time to get moving!!!
hugs,
Emily
p.s...Jayne I was looking at the photos thread and Aaron is ADORABLE!!!
Hey girls - I have a sec to put in my 2 cents. I have a thin b/f and I wonder the same thing too - but we have sex less now that I am thinner than when I was bigger and we first started dating (the natural slowing of hormones). Iwonder if he is attracted too...
But my last b/f, he was about 200lbs when we first started to date, mabye less - he was 15 then we dated for 8.5 years. By the time we stopped dating, he was 310lbs. Quite a jump. And I was actually repulsed by him. Part of it was the weight, but also the fact that he wouldn't buy clothes that fit him, he'd wear ripped up, too small clothes. Also, his peronal hygene as less than stellar. And his personality and lifestyle (ie; he could have openend his own porn shop with teh videos/mags he had). Ugh, I feel dirty just thinking about it. After awhile, I refused to have any relations with him and kissing him made me ill. That is when I knew!! Time to run screaming. And I did.
So, the moral of the grotesque story is- sometimes weight has somethig to do with it, but there are MANY other factors such as persnality, compatibility, hygene, takign care of oneself, that come into play!
Jayne, Kierie - how do you feel about a trip to the U.K.? I gotta colleague over there that I need you to open a can of whopass on.
Jayne - Truthfully - even at my highest weight (nearly 200 on a 5'3" frame) I never dated an overweight guy. I'd like to think that it was because none ever asked me out but truthfully, I can't ever remember being attracted enough to an overweight male to work up the courage to ask him out. However, it always seems to me that guys get hotter the longer I date them. So I imagine that if CB (also naturally normal sized) gained weight, I'd probably still be attracted.
Lexxy - I too want to eat today. Correction. I want to munch. I woke up ravenous. I'm thinking about giving myself a break today. No all out eat everything awful in sight but I think I'm going to allow a mini candy bar for a snack instead of carrot sticks.
I have a question for all of you. How do you feel about the men in your lives going to strip bars?
CB was recently invited to a bachelor party at one. He wanted to go but didn't because I was uncomfortable with the idea. This Friday he's going out with the guys to a bar that has "lingerie modeling" during the cocktail hour. (BTW - this isn't his modus operandi - these 2 occasions are the only time in the last year it's come up.)
I really want to be the cool girlfriend who doesn't care if he goes to a strip club on occasion but I'm not that cool. And I actually trust him. I don't believe that he'd do anything to hurt me or jepordize our relationship. I just don't trust his buddies. They all still act like he's a free-wheeling single guy (one of them offered to buy him a lap dance at the bachelor party.....in front of me). So I'm not cool. I have it in my head that when you are part of a committed monogamous (sp?) relationship that you don't participate in any sort of sexually intimate (i.e. lap dances) activity with any one else. I also believe that out of respect to your partner you avoid putting yourself in situations that could be construed as inapprorpriate.
Laura - my 2 cents on your dilemma - I absolutely agree with you and I respond the same way you do to the strip clubs, etc. I think you shouldn't have to do taht if you have satisfaction in your relationship. I also think it's disrespectful. But, as per my previous post, I have had a bad experience with porn -freak b/f . Strip clubs at lunch were his thing and I won't tolerate that again, even though I know it's sort of possessive nad paranoid of me.
So, I am with you in the "uncool" thing. I was"cool" with #1 b/f and I paid the price. Won't be doin' that again!!
Emily - try yoga. It's a great light work-out for those days when you can't face working out. That's what I did this morning. BTW - reclined cobblers pose does wonders for cramps if you use props.
Belle - excellent post. I think you are correct in the fact that we can all be attracted to someone who takes care in their appearance and keeps themselves cleaned and clothed appropriately.
Jayne - one more thing. You are compassionate, wise, smart, and gorgeous. How could your husband not be wildly attracted to you?
Jayne: My boyfriend is shaped like a linebacker, so he's a fairly big guy, but hey from day one I was attracted to him. He also has never had problems meeting girls either (and he used to be a lot bigger). As he was telling my roomate, everyone has their flaws. I am so self-conscious about my flap of skin on my tummy, but he has never said a thing. I always notice things like broad shoulders and nice eyes and a smile... My bf also works out and is fairly muscular.
Laura: I think lap dances are a no no for a boyfriend, I'm no prude, but that's just too far IMHO. To be honest I don't care if my bf goes to a strip club, it wouldn't bother me too much, depends on who he goes with.
Ok, well I had a mini snickers bar and downed some water, so hopefully the impending binge will pass.
Laura, I guess I still try to have the "cool" mentality a little bit with that kind of thing, but I would really like to meet a woman who was honestly fine with her man going to see naked chicks and ask her what she's on. I'm OK with it if it's a special occasion like thing with the boys - like a bachelor party. I would never say he couldn't go, but a lap dance would upset me. My problem is that they go and spend all sorts of money on tips and overpriced drinks....and walk away with nothing. If he wants to see a naked chick, he could see one at home, and actually be able to get some satisfaction from it. ****, give me the money you'd give a stripper and I'll go buy some shoes. I just think it's a big waste of money - and if it's about the girls being so much hotter, then I'd rather not be with him anyway. Not that your boyfriend sounds like that type of guy AT ALL. It kind of just sounds like he doesn't want to seem whipped in front of his friends.
Laura- Further to my comments and after reading Belle's post, It would also depend how often they go. If it's every week or even once a month, I may get a little ticked... Also depends who they go with... Notice married guys are often the bad influences??
jayne-i was thin when i met my hubby and now i am not...lol. he has remained thin the whole 6 years we have been married. he has never looked at me any different and it has not affected ANY part of our marriage other than my own insecurities. i would feel a lot better if i looked a lot better but i know he doesn't think that.
laura-i don't mind if my hubby goes but he doesn't go except for the occasional bachelor party or whatever so it doesn't bother me THAT much. i agree with the lap dances being a no-no and it not being a habit. but you have to do what makes you comfortable, don't worry about being a prude.
ok i was BAD yesterday and have to be GOOD today...kepping the faith that i CAN do it!!
Lexxy: I know what you mean, I can't say I am 100% okay with guys going to strip club, but I grew up around guys and all (I have mostly had male roomates and I have 3 brothers), they hold their significant others to a much higher esteem than the girls (or guys if they're gay) they gawk in mags, on tv, or in clubs, on the street (it's not necessarily right though)... so I try to view things that way, but if they pay more attention to the magazines or the girls at the club, then like Belle, I would have a HUGE problem with that.
hey Ladies Ugh I hate damp humid weather (does that make sense?) I'm a giant knot so the gym will hold till tommorrow
ok the Q's of the day
Jayne most of the guys i have dated have been thin/inshape I dated one bigger guy but he wasn't flabby and he played sports
honestly Overweight guys don't look at overweight girls.. .skinny guys do lol
Bf has probably put on 20 since I originally dated him and he has a little tummy and i'm actually more attracted to him now lol
I actually think its how one takes care of themselves not just grooming do they put effort into being healthy (something I'm working on bf about) but also at any weight he's told me I'm beautiful and honey its a 2 way street
and btw Jayne How could he be attracted to you??? HELLO your beautiful inside and out woman NO MORE OF THAT
Ok Laura
Strip clubs: I wouldn't go to one as they wouldn't be my cup of tea I'd say for a bachelor party fine as a lifestyle **** NO
I'd say to BF that you are uncomfortable having him in that setting if it was going to be on a regular basis. for a bachelor party fine Why would he want a lapdance from a stranger when you can give him one at home?
Belle I dated a guy who liked porn had teenie boppers on his wall and everything needless to say it didn't last
Oh and Laura UK whoopass. . .can we pubcrawl?
Em! hows the stepper?
Oh my new fave breakfast
a hardboiled egged mashed up (Not with butter) with Salsa
I'm getting tired of scrambling!
Tonight bf and i are supposed to go to fireworks but it looks like the skys about to open up and raiiiiin so I hope not
I have some writing to do and some cleaning
and i'm suffffering from overdoing it at the gym yesterday
I hadn't been in a week and I decided to jump in whole hog NOT a good idea
anywho I'm going to have a kickass OP day and tho my LD goal is 189 my new Mantra for staying op is do you want that bread or do you want to be 170? I haven't been in that range in 6 years and after that well after 165 comes Virgin fat!
Comeon Baby Kierie needs a single digit sized pair of jeans!
Alright BBL goign to make some breakfast
Love
Kierie
Laura...it is funny that you brought that up...my BF and i just had a conversation about that this weekend. he really isn't into that kinda thing but it came up in the context of his and others' bachelor parties. so..here i go
i totally do not think you're a prude for not wanting your hubby to go to a strip club! it has nothing to do with prudi-ness but, as was said earlier, just feels disrespectful and inappropriate. now, ok, i understand that single, unattached guys go..but once they are in a committed relationship, i think they really should limit it to bachelor parties, etc. when it is just part of a tradition, know what i mean?
i completely trust my BF, too, and know he wouldn't do anything to harm our relationship but out of respect for ME i wouldn't want him to go. also, for me there is a big difference between watching girls strip and having a lap dance, which is much more personal..in my opinion.
anyway, thats how i feel! time to hop in the shower, just had a great workout!
Humpety Hump Day Thread
