Well ... don't get me started on "toning" as a concept.
The bottom line is that ultimately lifting 3 and 5 lb weights are not going to do anything for you in the long run. If you want that good muscle soreness and to really build strength, you're going to have to lift heavier. Lots heavier.
Ideally you should be lifting enough weight that you can complete about 3 sets of 10 or so (the numbers tend to vary depending on who you speak to - some people go for 4 sets of 8, some for 3 sets of 12, etc.), but just barely complete them. If you can power thru 3 sets of 10 of anything and not be struggling at the end of the 3rd set, then you're not lifting heavy enough to be doing your muscles any good.
So maybe if you like her style, then just push the workout up to the next level by using more weight ... when you squat and lunge, add weights either with dumbells or a medicine ball or kettle bells, something like that. When you do crunches, hold a medicine ball to your chest.
Anything to up the weight and resistance will help you build that muscular "toned" look.