This post is actually going to turn out much different than I intended it to be.
I fully intended on coming in here and posting that I was going to leave for awhile.
Not going away for good, and I would still be reading, just not posting till I get my head on straight. I think I let what
someone said earlier about us "falling off the wagon" time and time again, saying that "Oh well, tomorrow is another day" and then continuing to make the same mistake over and over again, bother me. I questioned myself on so many levels and decided the best thing to do was just to leave, get myself together and then come back. Coming here when you're floundering can be good, but it can also be bad. Good in the fact that when others are OP, eating healthy and exercising...it can motivate the ones of us that are having a hard time. Bad, in the fact that it can also make you question yourself and why you can't seem to get yourself in gear.
I made a statement a day or so ago and I'm going to retract that.
Yes, I'm going back on my word. But for a good reason. This is what I had said:
Quote:
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Ok...new plan. I promise you. I promise, every single day, I will report in to you guys before I go to bed. I'm going to report how many points I've eaten (my range is 29-34) and how much I've exercised. I don't have a problem with my water, so that should be ok. I've got to be accountable to someone and you guys are the best!
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Now, not the part about you guys being the best. You are....that has never changed and never will. One thing I pride myself on is being honest with you guys and that will never change, and what I'm about to say comes very hard to me and I hope it doesn't offend anyone. Ok....here goes. I have been coming to this thread for a long time. I usually post at least once a day....sometimes more. This is the only thread that I post on here at 3FC. I have seen people come and I have seen people go. I have seen people come back again. However, some I have come very used to.....they have become
family to me. Lately, some of my
family has stopped posting all together and some are only posting every now and then and I miss them.
There have been so many new people come into the thread lately and to be honest.....I have just felt lost. Not that you guys are strangers to me.....just that things that at one time were very familiar to me.....have become very unfamiliar, and that has been so strange. I have in the past become attached to my friends here that have left and I have wanted to step back and be cautious, so as not to feel bad when someone I think is in it for the long haul disappears. NOW.....that is not to say I do not like all of the new people that have come in, in the last couple of months. You are all a very diverse group of ladies and I love you each and every one for your individuality. I apologize for perhaps, being somewhat stand-offish. It is not in my nature to be this way.....I have just felt out of sorts.
I am truly glad and grateful for all of our new family. I do not use the word "family" lightly. I think we are our own little family, because no one quite understands this weight loss thing like we do.
Now, to finally stop the rambling......let's get on to what I was actually trying to say. I promised you guys that I would stop in every night before bed and report into you about how my day had went. I should have never done that.
Why? Because I put too much pressure on myself. I haven't fallen off the wagon, ladies. I
jumped off. You know how hard it is to get started once you completely are off track. It's just miserable. Every day you start out with good intentions, only to be hanging your head at the end of the day. By telling you I would report into you each night, put an enormous amount of pressure on me for several reasons. First, if I had a bad day....(which I have) I either didn't come in here and post....for fear you would think I was a failure, or thoughts came into my head to tell you I had done good...but that would be a lie....and I will NOT lie to you. So, what to do? What to do?
Here's what to do. I WON'T promise you I'll report in to you guys every night. I WON'T promise you I'm going to be perfect. I DO promise you that I won't leave. No matter how many times I am tempted, I need you guys. Sooner or later, I will hear that "click" and my life will get back on track. I have to remember that even though occasionally, we need a
, that this is not a boot camp and mistakes are allowed. I hope, for my sake however...that I can break free from this long chain of mistakes and I can get back on track.
Thank you for listening to the ramblings of an idiot. I hope some of what I said makes sense.
Food has not been good today, but I did do the 3 mile WATP. That makes me feel somewhat better.
I'm not going to individually reply to everyone tonight....just know that I have read everything you have said and I am on the way home.
I will say however:
Sara: You have been a wonderful inspiration to me and I miss your posts. I hope wherever you are that you are still OP and even if you're not....that's ok. Come back and see us sometime.
Lucky: I know you have a new job....a rather important one from what I gather, so I know that is probably taking up a lot of your time. If you get a chance, please come by and see us once in awhile. I miss you.
2cute: I know you're here. You CAN'T stay away. I'm not sure what you're going through right now, I can only send you this....{{{{{{{2cute}}}}}}}}. When you're not here....sometimes it's just not the same. I'm not trying to "guilt" you in to coming in and posting. I'm just giving you a reminder that you are so very loved....by me.
Kat: Thanks for being the rock I've needed lately.
Thin: Thanks for always being here. Even when you're busy....even when you're working yourself to death. We need you.
To everyone else: I promise to be a better friend and to try to get to know you all a little better. Sometimes we just have to "step back" and realize what's important.
I am important. My health is important. My life is important.
Sometimes....we have to put "I" first.
Love you guys!
I think I've posted this before...
I knew I stick around for a reason! 
Ok.....
I started on this thread because I had read this thread for a while and all of you seemed so great, united really. I have another thread here on 3 Fatchicks that has kind of died down, there are still some wonderful ladies that post on it, but it moves kind of slow. Those here at 300+ are always here for me. Rather I need motivation or I need someone to comiserate with one of you is in the same boat. 
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So much stress. Kids are out of school, driving me crazy. But it's a good thing. Husband being out of work and flat on his back, driving me crazy!
My grandpa is back in the hospital, he is 86 yrs old and fell off a ladder, he broke ribs, punctured lung and has a bad heart to top it all off. So then I am having to check up on my grandma, and make sure she is taking care of herself. 
All these people needing me and then I am worried about finances on top of it all. I have had no time to even think about eating right, I am just grabbing whatever and doing alot of emotional eating these days. So there ya have that is what happened to me. I really need you gals right now and I really need to take care of me first, because I really dont want to put back on the 31 lbs I lost, I want to keep losing like I was. I want to feel good. I haven't felt good for a couple weeks now. So hopefully I will be able to find time to come in here more often and get myself back on track.
Happy Father's Day!
