Today is my birthday and I had a really good day. I made a decision today to not celebrate with food. I think this has been part of my problem...I didn't eat because I was bored or depressed...it was fun! Food was recreational to me. When I was 8, I was in the hospital for almost 2 months. I physically couldn't stand, walk or move much so my parents gave me the one thing they could think of to cheer me up....food. My parents are great but I think this is where I started. After that, it was ALL MY CHOICE. And boy did I make the wrong choices!!! So, I am trying to change my thinking and did not celebrate with a bunch of high calorie non-stop food- as in previous years.
In 2 days, I will also celebrate my 1 year weight loss anniversary. In a year, I've gone from a size 22/24W (mostly 24) to a regular 14 and can fit some 12s. Yes 12 regulars. I told myself on my last birthday that that was my last year living in that body...and I kept my commitment.
I still have a way to go but I was feeling pretty good UNTIL....My daughter's babysitter found some old pictures of me from about 14 years ago. I looked HORRIBLE. My thighs looked like 2 barrels taped together, I had no neck, my face had this weird dark marks where my super-sized chicks extended from. It was TERRIBLE. There was a picture with me slow dancing with my husband and his hands are by my side.....probably because I never liked him touching all of the rolls. He looked like he was dancing with a linebacker in a wig!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't look like that anymore (thank God) but I really wanted to cry because I looked so HUGE!!!! The thing is that I was in my SKINNY DRESS in the picture. I thought I was so much thinner thin...I was DELUSIONAL. That makes me think I could be delusional NOW. Maybe, I am still deluded into thinking I look so much smaller when really I'm just a junior linebacker now! Everyone keeps saying I look different....heck, I have size 12s in my closet that I can wear. However, it was really upsetting...
Sorry, hubby's not home yet and I just had to release that. I feel slightly better....actually, I don't