Thin, you will never know what that card meant to me today. If you guys haven't noticed, except for a few measly posts here and there, I haven't really been around the last couple of days. Of course you know what that means
..........when I am unmotivated, I have a tendency to
dissappear. Now, I don't need you guys to rally around me and give me a lot of advice. Don't get me wrong, I love you and that's what you're supposed to do, right? That's what this thread is for, right? But I'm ok now. I worked through it and thanks to
Thin, I'm back on my way. I don't even really know what happened. Ok, that's a lie. Yes, I do. No matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I fought it.........that nagging agrivation with the scale got to me. I don't know how or why......maybe I'm just a head case.
I still did very good that morning, but as Tuesday night came in, so did those eating frenzies. So I nibbled here....and I nibbled there. Wednesday came, got up, did my WATP 2 mile, and to make up for the damage I had incurred on Tuesday, I decided to decrease my points for the day and I did. Only 15 pts all day. Thought I was back on track, right? WRONG. Thursday came, did my 2 mile WATP.....was fine till about 8:00. I went over to a friend's house to help her and her sister make rice crispie treats and cupcakes with cream cheese icing for work. Do I need to go any further on that? Of course you know, cupcakes must be
tasted. And tasted.....and tasted....and tasted. So I figure, best way to undo the damage from Thursday was to restrict the points on Friday. So Friday, I get up, do my 3 mile WATP and am fine as wine till about 9:00. At this point, I have eaten aproximately 10 pts. I didn't even
waiver as I served my dh his dinner of a porterhouse steak, baked potato with butter, sourcream, melted cheese and fried onions, corn on the cob, rolls and salad loaded with croutons and O'Charley's blue cheese dressing. I meagerly ate my
baked fish with salsa and my salad with ff blue cheese dressing. But then, when he went to bed, (he had to work this morning) all bets were off and the kitchen became my best friend......or
worst enemy....however you look at it. I can't even tell you everything I ate. I still think I'm in a food coma, at least that's the way my body feels. I woke up, where I had passed out on the couch with horrible heartburn, swolen ankles and a icky feeling in my gut only a true glutton knows. And little by little........my light that had burned for so long, was getting dimmer and dimmer.....
THEN.........dh is heading out the driveway to go to work and as I'm watching him leave, I look over and see something sticking out of the mailbox. I checked it yesterday because that was when I got my tickets, so I'm wondering what I missed. So, I hop down the carport stairs, in the rain mind you, with no shoes on........
why was it so important that I go down there and see what it was? So I get down there and get the little white card that somehow I missed yesterday.......and there is my name with
Thin's name as the sender. At first I was so excited......and then I felt ashamed. Why? I'm still not sure. But then I opened the card and read it. And I started bawling.
I was crying for so many things I can't even tell you. Crying because this weight is going to plague me my whole life, crying because I just can't get it together seems like, crying because I feel like a failure, crying because just once I want to see this thing through, just crying. So I head into the kitchen to put
Thin's card on the fridge and then I see
Lucky's post card. And I think, "
I've never even met these women, yet they took time out of their lives to think of me. Sometimes who you consider to be your closest friend will not do that. So, in the midst of bawling in the kitchen and staring at
Thin's and
Lucky's card, something inside me snapped and I realized...........
I am not alone. Even though I know you guys are always here for me, I had something
tangeble....something I could hold in my hand and for some reason, that little bulb that was dimming and almost out, started to shine brighter and brighter. The light bulb is back on full force.
And I have my lovely friends to thank for it. Don't you worry about me. I guess I'm just human. I'm going to have my ups and downs, but as long as I have you guys, the ups are way ups and the downs just don't last as long as they used to. I thank each and every one of you for what you mean to me. Every single one of you in some way or another, has said or done something that has inspired me, cheered me on or even kicked my butt when I've needed it. I hope in some small way....I have been that for you at some time.
Ok, I feel like I've babbled long enough and I hear my WATP video calling my name. I will be back later.....I just needed to share. Have a wonderful day. I love you all.
300+ and Ready to Try Again... 284
Woooo Hoooo!!!
Hiya Chickies!
It really was about time since we're married almost 20 years. Then we went out to lunch. We had decided previously that we were NOT going to do anything for VD this year, so what does he do? Bought me 2 CDs, Rod Stewart's "It Had to be You" that I've been dying for, and Bruce Springsteen's "The Rising," (to gear up for the concert next month!) AND the DVD of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," (I'll be watching this evening!) But the best gift was that he picked up my engagement ring from the jewlers...I had brought it in a few weeks ago to have a broken prong fixed. I told him he needed to get down on one knee to present it properly...
Oh, those knees just ain't what they used to be! Plus, the hard kitchen floor didn't help matters much! We had a good laugh...yeah, he is a keeper!
...you know that sound of controlled anger in someone's voice, that means there are kids around, don't want to explode or say any bad words? Yep, that's what he sounded like...gonna be a L*O*N*G trip, even longer to set up everything at 11:00 tonight...in the bitter cold...yeesh. 
I love the internet, email, computers, for without them I would never have met any of you 
