Ok...another HUGE binge last night...i wasn't even going to come post here until i got back on track But then i woke up this morning and was down 2 pounds to 149! So maybe my body actually needed the calories. On the other hand, maybe i shouldn't make excuses for binging. Oh well...either way...back on track today.
Hey guys! Sorry I've been MIA ... lots of studying for exams!
I'm on the verge of completely spiraling out of control. I think I've ballooned up 3-4lbs (126ish) because of bad eating over the past week.
The other day I found out that my job in DC has been deferred to December... with no stipend, just interest-free loans on our paychecks. I already have law school loans to pay off! So I need to find something to do from August (post-bar exam) to December, and hopefully something that helps me pay my bills!
Anyways, I was stressing about this and had a huge sugar binge on Saturday. Then I punished myself yesterday by barely eating all day, only to have like 3 slices of pizza at 8pm. I know this isn't healthy. :-( More important than my weight is a lifetime commitment to avoiding this binge-starve cycle.
So my goals for the week are:
1. Eat between 1200-1400 cals of BALANCED meals.
2. Drink 80oz water;
3. Walk the dog, workout every day;
4. Keep carbs under 50 net, REALLY limit sugar intake.
Okay, so I made fresh stuff for lunch.....sauteed some green beans and asparagus in some olive oil w/some light salt and weber roasted garlic seasoning.....probably have had about 400 mg of sodium today. Also ate a skinny cow ice cream cone (that sodium is included above). Have had about 350 calories. FRESH is definitely the way to go for low sodium. I'm just gonna HAVE to work it into my life. I've done pre-packaged because it's easier. I can't do that anymore because of sodium. It's gotta be fresh. Gonna have to find time to research some yummy low sodium recipes. If anyone has any, I'm all eyes! DH wanted to go take care of some stuff in a town near us this evening....I told him that was fine, but that I'm NOT eating out. Period. Catsup is gonna kill me in the sodium dept. I'm a catsup junkie. Eat it on EVERYTHING. Man, lifestyle change stinks sometimes. I'm also not giving up my diet cokes. The sodium from them today is NOT figured into my total sodium intake. I'm just gonna pretend they're sodium-free! hehe They're supposed to be low in sodium anyway. If I have to give up my diet coke, just kill me. It's my one thing that I've determined I cannot do without. When I try just drinkin' water, I end up not drinking AT ALL. So I figure drinkin' diet coke is better than drinkin' nothing.
Edit: I meant to share my most recent NSV (I'll take it since my SV's are practically NONEXISTENT lately. ) Went to visit my in-laws on Saturday. They BOTH told me I was getting "so tiny." EVERYONE is commenting now on my loss. Makes me feel really good....although I'm having some psychological stuff going on. When I am not consistently losing, I feel like in my mind that I look just like I did before I lost anything. Kinda scares me that I could become anorexic? I don't even know how someone "becomes anorexic." But I know that people who are think they're fat even when they're losing weight. I know I'm still fat......but the fact that I feel like I haven't lost anything even though I have kinda scares me. I have to remind myself that I'm not where I was. Anyone have imput? Anyone else know how I feel?
Also, I've weighed 204.2 EXACTLY for like 5 days in a row. I'm not changing ticker, which reads 203, because I KNOW it's water weight. Atleast I'm not up 5 lbs like I figured I would be when I stopped my meds.
Last edited by GainingWeightInLa; 04-25-2011 at 03:26 PM.
Something must be in this spring air...seems like a lot of us are having trouble with control lately.
Surfer - That's great despite your binge you actually lost!!
LL - I'm with you on the control thing...I eat way too much then punish myself the next day and end up eating poorly again. I like your goals for this week!
So far today I've stayed on plan. I actually couldn't finish all my breakfast, I was getting full so I threw the rest out. Just had a late lunch because breakfast kept me full so long. I decided to look into some new workouts because I get bored so easily. So instead of doing JM's 30 DS tonight like I had planned, I'm going to try some HIIT (30 minutes of walking/jogging/running) as well as some leg and arm toning mini workouts (about 15-20 minutes total). So, I'll actually be getting more exercise in. I think I'm going to switch it up everyday. I get sick of doing the same workout...then lack motivation sets in because I'm so bored of it.
Last edited by LindseyLou; 04-25-2011 at 03:19 PM.
Lindsey Did you gain? -- You are my hero and inspiration. -- I have been looking at pictures of myself from the past. -- I have done this journey atleast 10 times. 5 years ago I was around 120 pounds; and I felt because I got there I was able to eat little bit of this and little bit of that.....I am not letting you do that It took me back to 172 pounds. So come on girlie...I am making you stay on plan, 'cause I envy that waist of yours!!
ZooDoo: Of course you should feel happy at seeing a new low! Every pound is worthy of a celebration! Love the sound of your hike. I look forward to when I can do active things like hiking with my children. We are trying some of it this summer in Arkansas… but I am afraid I’ll end up carrying the 3 year old.
Berry: Oh you are lucky you had today off. My kids had school today! And you are right… I am always hard on myself. I am just so scared of slipping back into my old ways. I have never made this much progress before but I have started and stopped a million times.
Novel: I held water for several days after my first 5K. That is great you ran the whole thing. Congrats! Breaking through this 180 is so hard. I have lost these pounds over and over for the past 3 weeks. I am right there with you. Join us with a renewed commitment. We can do it together! Stick to your plan!
Shells: Sorry you are sick and your family. Get well soon. We will be here!
Lindsey: I have pretty much eliminated pasta, too. Spaghetti squash is a gret substitute.
K9: 7000 calories of chocolate would be worth it!
Vixsin: I like to be able to say I am not worried about the scale because I know I made the right choices. I haven’t been able to do that lately… but I will be able this week!
DianaLA: I was just wondering if jendiet had her baby, too? We have been struggling but we are making plans and recommitting. We can do this together! Ya’ll are out of school too! My kids had school. I have had some feeling like you were posting about the anorexia. I know I have shrunk- but I look at my belly and think it is just as fat as it was 10 months ago! I think it is our brain playing tricks on us… we aren’t used to the changes.
Surfergirl: Wow! What a gift to have a binge and still be down! That means it was meant to be!
LLBold: We have had some spiraling down going on here too. I know it must be stressful with exams. You have a great plan in place. Try to stick to it!
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So far so good for me... I tweak my plan a bit. I had less calories in my shake. I usually drink 12oz- but I only dranl 8 oz. I replaced it at lunch with 2 brocolli stalks and 1T of hummus. All still on plan though! Plus I got a great workout this morning! BBL- gotta go get the baby from school.
Well, took my oldest son out to look at bikes today. He needs a 21" frame. His bike (which he hasn't ridden for almost 2 years because of our move and house remodeling taking over the garage and burying everything) is a 13" frame. That's too small for me and ridiculously small for him.
So, add in another $500 we need to find from thin air because we are wanting to get more fit. We are spending a fortune with new running shoes, new bikes, etc. But... it's worth it, right? This might need to be his early birthday present. Better to get it NOW instead of the end of August.
Here's a picture of the bike I'll be getting for myself:
It's not the one I'm dreaming about, but I cannot rationalize spending double the price for my dream bike, especially when my son doesn't have a bike right now either.
Omg, omg, omg!!!! I just had to jump on here and share with you guys about my doctors appointment!!
So, we talked about why I'm feeling so run down all the time. He thinks it's because my body let go of so much weight so quickly and he thinks I probably have a vitamin D deficiency. Because of my vegetarian diet, he's having my thyroid checked and some other things like my iron levels, protein levels, liver function, ect.
Anyway, back to the OMG moment. He said he was so proud of me and how much weight I've lost. I asked him what he thought my final goal would be. He kinda frowned and said it was hard to say. He said they used to carry charts saying what size frame the person was, their height and where they should fall, but he said it's such a personal thing that they don't do that anymore. He glanced at my chart and said "Are you not happy at the weight your at? You look nice and healthy.". I think I almost fell off the exam table. I stumbled and stuttered a bit and said "Uh, don't you think my weight is still a bit high? I mean, I know I'm tall...maybe I'm focusing on a number too much?". He had me stand next to him (I'm as tall as he is) and said "Goodness, you ARE tall!". He looked back at his notes and said "Well, I definitely wouldn't go any lower than 175. Anything below that would be too skinny for you. You're not one of those small framed people with tiny bone structures. You actually have a large bone structure and are built sturdy. So, yeah, if you want to get down to 175, you can, but you don't have to."
I. was. floored. I've been thinking this entire time about how obese I still feel! Before I left the room, he called out to me. "You've done great! Congrats on being a healthy size.".
He called me healthy!!! I haven't been that in years!! I'm just over the moon right now.
So, I guess I'll change my ticker to 175, get down to that weight and then work on maintaining. I think I'll still work on firming up, but I won't worry about weightloss once I lose the last 15 pounds.
Lindsey Did you gain? -- You are my hero and inspiration. -- I have been looking at pictures of myself from the past. -- I have done this journey atleast 10 times. 5 years ago I was around 120 pounds; and I felt because I got there I was able to eat little bit of this and little bit of that.....I am not letting you do that It took me back to 172 pounds. So come on girlie...I am making you stay on plan, 'cause I envy that waist of yours!!
Yeah, I'm up 1.6 from a few days back. Thank you! That is so sweet!!!
Omg, omg, omg!!!! I just had to jump on here and share with you guys about my doctors appointment!!
So, we talked about why I'm feeling so run down all the time. He thinks it's because my body let go of so much weight so quickly and he thinks I probably have a vitamin D deficiency. Because of my vegetarian diet, he's having my thyroid checked and some other things like my iron levels, protein levels, liver function, ect.
Anyway, back to the OMG moment. He said he was so proud of me and how much weight I've lost. I asked him what he thought my final goal would be. He kinda frowned and said it was hard to say. He said they used to carry charts saying what size frame the person was, their height and where they should fall, but he said it's such a personal thing that they don't do that anymore. He glanced at my chart and said "Are you not happy at the weight your at? You look nice and healthy.". I think I almost fell off the exam table. I stumbled and stuttered a bit and said "Uh, don't you think my weight is still a bit high? I mean, I know I'm tall...maybe I'm focusing on a number too much?". He had me stand next to him (I'm as tall as he is) and said "Goodness, you ARE tall!". He looked back at his notes and said "Well, I definitely wouldn't go any lower than 175. Anything below that would be too skinny for you. You're not one of those small framed people with tiny bone structures. You actually have a large bone structure and are built sturdy. So, yeah, if you want to get down to 175, you can, but you don't have to."
I. was. floored. I've been thinking this entire time about how obese I still feel! Before I left the room, he called out to me. "You've done great! Congrats on being a healthy size.".
He called me healthy!!! I haven't been that in years!! I'm just over the moon right now.
So, I guess I'll change my ticker to 175, get down to that weight and then work on maintaining. I think I'll still work on firming up, but I won't worry about weightloss once I lose the last 15 pounds.
OMG...only 15lbs!! Ahhhhhh!!
Yay!
WOO HOO!!!! That is great news!!!!
On a different note, you might very well have a vitamin D deficiency. I had one a while back and I was tired. ALL. the. time. Just completely exhausted no matter how little or how much I slept. I got my levels back up and felt MUCH better.
Omg, omg, omg!!!! I just had to jump on here and share with you guys about my doctors appointment!!
So, we talked about why I'm feeling so run down all the time. He thinks it's because my body let go of so much weight so quickly and he thinks I probably have a vitamin D deficiency. Because of my vegetarian diet, he's having my thyroid checked and some other things like my iron levels, protein levels, liver function, ect.
Anyway, back to the OMG moment. He said he was so proud of me and how much weight I've lost. I asked him what he thought my final goal would be. He kinda frowned and said it was hard to say. He said they used to carry charts saying what size frame the person was, their height and where they should fall, but he said it's such a personal thing that they don't do that anymore. He glanced at my chart and said "Are you not happy at the weight your at? You look nice and healthy.". I think I almost fell off the exam table. I stumbled and stuttered a bit and said "Uh, don't you think my weight is still a bit high? I mean, I know I'm tall...maybe I'm focusing on a number too much?". He had me stand next to him (I'm as tall as he is) and said "Goodness, you ARE tall!". He looked back at his notes and said "Well, I definitely wouldn't go any lower than 175. Anything below that would be too skinny for you. You're not one of those small framed people with tiny bone structures. You actually have a large bone structure and are built sturdy. So, yeah, if you want to get down to 175, you can, but you don't have to."
I. was. floored. I've been thinking this entire time about how obese I still feel! Before I left the room, he called out to me. "You've done great! Congrats on being a healthy size.".
He called me healthy!!! I haven't been that in years!! I'm just over the moon right now.
So, I guess I'll change my ticker to 175, get down to that weight and then work on maintaining. I think I'll still work on firming up, but I won't worry about weightloss once I lose the last 15 pounds.
OMG...only 15lbs!! Ahhhhhh!!
Yay!
Oh Shells, that's great! I told you that you looked like you had a similar frame to mine! My doctor's goal for me is 165. Frame size DEFINITELY matters!
And I hope that the Vitamin D is what the problem is. It really could be - did they order some blood work besides for the thyroid?
Linds--I like your idea of mixing up the workouts. I think that will not only help with boredom, but also keeping your muscles surprised. I heard it's a great way to keep up the calorie burn. And, thanks! I'm just all around the house now. Though, I do have to admit, there was a twinge of disappointment that I'll never be a size 4 and be cute and petite, but I got over that quickly.
Berry--Yeah, he ordered a lot of different things that could be causing the fatigue or that would be influenced by my vegetarian diet. He also said that he could hear a heart arrhythmia, but he wasn't too terribly concerned about it. I'll check back in with him in a month and we'll address the arrhythmia again then. (this is not new info to me, I had an Echocardiogram about 10 years ago, trying to catch it)
But then i woke up this morning and was down 2 pounds to 149! So maybe my body actually needed the calories. On the other hand, maybe i shouldn't make excuses for binging. Oh well...either way...back on track today.
Also ate a skinny cow ice cream cone (that sodium is included above). Have had about 350 calories. FRESH is definitely the way to go for low sodium. I'm just gonna HAVE to work it into my life. I've done pre-packaged because it's easier. I can't do that anymore because of sodium. It's gotta be fresh. Gonna have to find time to research some yummy low sodium recipes. If anyone has any, I'm all eyes! 
) Went to visit my in-laws on Saturday. They BOTH told me I was getting "so tiny." EVERYONE is commenting now on my loss. Makes me feel really good....although I'm having some psychological stuff going on. When I am not consistently losing, I feel like in my mind that I look just like I did before I lost anything. Kinda scares me that I could become anorexic? I don't even know how someone "becomes anorexic." But I know that people who are think they're fat even when they're losing weight. I know I'm still fat......but the fact that I feel like I haven't lost anything even though I have kinda scares me. I have to remind myself that I'm not where I was. Anyone have imput? Anyone else know how I feel? 
