When I decided to start losing weight I was convinced that it would make me look better but the results I have been seeing so far have only aggravated me. I'm getting lose skin, my arms are getting larger, my shoulders have broadened immensely, my stomach is starting to look more like cottage cheese by the week, my breasts are shrinking, and im getting a visible overhang.
I went to go try on clothes at the plus size store this weekend and nothing fit me right. Pants were either too loose or clung to me revealing a "front butt" as I call it. My arms wouldn't fit into the sleeves of many shirts even when the shirt itself was slightly baggy and when it did my shoulders made them appear weird. I found myself feeling extremely self conscious and regretting my decision to lose weight and it took me hours to convince myself that my weird appearance is only temporary and that it will be worth it in the long run if I just stick with it.
I was just wondering have any of you have had similar problems and if so how did/do you cope with it?
Yes, along the journey there have been several transformations, some good, some not so much. In the end I just know that this body is better than being unhealthy and overweight any day so I've got to accept it because going back it not an option.
I suspect that you are being unnecessarily hard on yourself. I can't think of a reason, for example, that your shoulders would have "broadened immensely." I don't think loose skin would really be that much of a problem after a 20lb loss either.
Do you think you could bring a trusted friend to the shop with you, to give you an honest - and objective - assessment of your appearance? There's something about the way you've phrased things that makes me question whether you are being too hard on yourself - I just don't think a 20 pound loss could turn you into the grotesquely malformed gorgon you are describing!
As for the clothes, you might just be between sizes - the granularity of sizes in plus size clothes is very poor, and it's notoriously difficult to find good-fitting clothes when there is such a huge gap between sizes.
Oh the frustrations I have had between 240lbs and today. Arms not fitting. Thighs fit, waist is huge. All pants are too long. All shirts are too short. Lol. In fact, I STILL have a very hard time finding things to fit.
I try to remind myself that humans do not come in sizes! They come in every imaginable shape and this is why ready to wear can be the devil.
Dont get too down, and remember this isnt really about looks. It is about your health - and having a body that works for you, with you, feels agile and strong and able...and ok I know looks good too But there will be many more shopping trips in your future as you lose weight, try to remember it is a good thing you dont fit in your old clothes anymore!
It actually is really bad considering I still have such a long way to go.
Here is what my stomach looks like only 20 pounds into my weight loss:
I measure regularly. I have lost 1.5 inches in my chest and gained an inch in my shoulders. :/
I think it's normal to lose a bit in the chest - it's fat going away. If you're working out and doing back/shoulder exercises, I also see nothing bad in gaining a couple inches up top. It'll all work itself out in the end, don't worry *hug* .
I hope you don't get discouraged. Maybe it'd be best to put the measuring tape away for a bit? It's easy to get obsessed with weighing and measuring (at least for me it is). And the clothes...I totally with carter about the sizes in Plus Size stores: I sometimes can't believe the difference between a size 24 blouse and a 26 - it's like you could fit a second you in there!
Just keep your focus and tell yourself that it'll be worth it in the end. I believe it's normal to go through those ups and downs (though I'll tell you for sure when I'm hitting my own ).
Yeah, there were moments in this process when I wished I could put a sign over myself, like stores use when they are remodeling: "Pardon Our Appearance During Renovations" or "Construction Site: Do Not Enter."
I didn't want people to judge me before I was done. I hated being at an intermediate stage. I kept looking at my goal -- that focus helped me. But it also hurt me, because I was blind to how far I'd come & how great a place I was in, compared with before.
I'm having a flashback to standing in a dressing room in early 2008, despairing because I'd lost a lot of weight, but I still didn't dare buy a top that clung too much to my stomach because of the visible roll. I remember actually grabbing that roll & waving it at my mother, who'd come along shopping with me & who must have thought she'd soon be seeing my triumph, me emerging from behind the curtain all smiles & showing off & pirouetting, because, after all, hadn't I lost about 50 pounds?
The thing is, my body looked better than it had in years. I hadn't allowed myself to see the extent of the damage & how very bad it was at my highest weight, so I wasn't really processing the improvement, either.
The other thing is, I was carrying around an ideal in my head, which only I could see, and which I was measuring myself against. I wasn't what I wanted to be. So I couldn't even clearly contemplate where I actually was.
And you know what? My body has gotten better looking since back then. Weights have helped. And Pilates. It's less cottage-cheesy. The overhang has diminished considerably. But also -- don't underestimate this part -- I've gotten used to seeing it, too, rather than imposing something over it that it doesn't measure up to. I'm kinder now. No waving a handful of fat at anyone anymore, looking for pity & validation of my self-dislike.
I'll tell you now what I think I really wanted to hear from my mother when I grabbed that fat in front of her:
It will get better. In time. It's already better, but you just aren't seeing that now.
The belly pic you posted is really not bad at all. I don't see a lot of sag there, and as you lose weight, it WILL decrease. That is a guarantee. And as I looked at it, my green eyed monster reared its very ugly head and screamed at me "WHERE THE **** ARE HER STRETCH MARKS!?" If you saw MY belly picture right now, you would see one **** of a roadmap of stretchmarks. We all have our crosses to bear. Don't let the weight of it make you fall down.
Honey, keep your eyes on the prize, and don't worry about the bizarre changes your body will make as you work your way to the prize. Oh, you dont have to LIKE the way the incomplete product looks, but you do need to remember that is what it is. A work in progress. Michaelangelo's david probably looked pretty damned strange when it was only 1/4 finished too. Just keep focused on where you are going, and dont sweat the small stuff.
It will get better! I have periods where I think "OMG this is only making things worse!" But a couple weeks later my body has adjusted and the situation is much more positive. Don't give up!!! You can do this!
Perhaps just imagine how amazing it will be to compare those pictures again in 20 MORE pounds! I know it's hard not to look at the photo evidence and feel gisted. At the same time, it's INCREDIBLE to pull them out again as you progress and realize just how drastically you are changing...for the better!
Annoyed With My Body
But there will be many more shopping trips in your future as you lose weight, try to remember it is a good thing you dont fit in your old clothes anymore!
).
