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Fear of ridicule

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Old 04-02-2010, 07:14 AM   #1
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Unhappy Fear of ridicule

Now that it's almost summer time I am looking forward to getting out and doing a lot of things...but at the same time I'm not. Last summer I had worked up the courage to go for my first walk that year outside. I thought my fear of being made fun of was most likely irrational and that no one would notice me, or really care. I started to feel really good, I had walked about 30 minutes and was on my way back. Then I saw the car slow down next to me, a group of guys (and girls) started to make fun of me, driving along side me. When they realized I wasn't going to respond they drove off. I was about 175 lbs back then, and I didn't think I was that fat, or at least fat enough to get made fun of. But my seemingly irrational fear became a reality.

This year the snow has melted off the roads now, and I'm nervous about getting back out there. Yes, I do have a gym membership, but I like taking walks and being in nature too. My husband surprised me when he suggested we start jogging together (we're both overweight). I love the idea, but I'm having a really hard time trying to get over what happened and still have that fear that it's going to happen again. I don't know what to do. Any advise would be appreciated.
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Old 04-02-2010, 07:32 AM   #2
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That's unbelievable! Get yourself some pepper spray ASAP! If a car load of people slowed down to drive beside me and taunt me, I would take that as a direct threat and those people would get a car full of pepper spray.
I'm not joking at all!
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Old 04-02-2010, 08:16 AM   #3
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Wow - even when I was at my highest no one made fun of me to my face like that!! That is shocking. It's bullying pure and simple.

However, if you do want to start running, try the C25K program - it starts you off nice and gently with a mixture of running and walking and you will therefore have a higher chance of success than just jogging would.

Perhaps you could go somewhere more remote, where you're a little less likely to be bumping into people.
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Old 04-02-2010, 09:37 AM   #4
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Do you have a local high school nearby? Ours keeps the track open all year 'round and when school is out, that's where I often go to run (especially when I'm at the stage where it's more "exhausted panting" than "running"). Anyone you see there is going to be doing the same thing you're doing -- exercising -- and it should be a more welcoming attitude.

I'm feeling fortunate that I have never encountered this; I think the people must be a little nicer here in my small town because I certainly see overweight people out and about, walking and jogging and biking. I guess if you don't have a track or someplace like that, then I would just do my best to ignore people like that. But sometimes my finger my involuntarily slip up to give them the "You're number 1!!" sign, if you know what I mean. ;-)
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Old 04-02-2010, 09:44 AM   #5
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I am so sorry that happened to you. I understand your fear, I'd be fearful too. In addition to the pepper spray, I'd also have my cell phone handy for dialing 911. I'd feel threatened and that would justify a phone call for help in my mind.

Having said that, I'd take your hubby up on jogging together. I think people would be far less likely to harass you if you were with someone. And, I'm sad to say, people are less likely to harass a woman if she is with a man. Safety in pairs.

I wish you well! Don't let a car load of idiots stop you from accomplishing your goals!
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:15 AM   #6
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Just a caution on the pepper spray idea... it could be considered an assault, and you could end up in jail. I'm not kidding either.

Jogging sounds like too much to start with. Ask him to go for walks with you for a couple of weeks, with the idea that you'll consider jogging after you've gotten used to walking.

Pay no attention to those scum. They are cowards and sadists. They probably bully other kids at school, if they aren't dropouts.

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Old 04-02-2010, 10:44 AM   #7
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I've been made fun of in the same way when I was thin back in jr high. People that are insecure will make fun of anyone and especially if you look vulnerable. Shrug it off, it's their issue, not yours. Walk outside! It's nice! Besides, you're taking the steps to do something about your weight and that's commendable. So continue on the right path and ignore idiots!
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Old 04-02-2010, 10:53 AM   #8
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Some people are just a-holes. I don't think you should let one experience run your life. Now that your husband is going with you, I believe you're 10 times less likely to have anyone stop. a-holes tend to pick on people who are alone and not accompanied by another person. This way your husband can yank them out of the car and kick their ***!!! *hug*
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Old 04-02-2010, 11:11 AM   #9
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I have the same fear so I stick to the treadmill. It took a while but know I think~who cares i don't know them. I turn my ipod up and don't hear a word.
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Old 04-02-2010, 11:30 AM   #10
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I'm sorry that that happened to you. Some folks are just jerks However...you need to do what is good for you and find a way not to worry about what others *might* say or do. It's just words, and can only bother ou if you let it. I think I would get a t-shirt that said FAT CHICK or something. Or better yet...put it on the back of my pants...right across the backside. Just get out there and walk or run and enjoy nature. Alaska must be an AWESOME place to live!

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Old 04-02-2010, 11:36 AM   #11
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I'm scared of that, too, so I don't ever exercise outside. But you're MUCH smaller than me, and I think that that car full of was an anomaly. You probably looked nothing more than chubby at that weight, and they must have been miserable people to make fun of you! I highly doubt that you would experience that very often or even at all if you get out and exercise now. Do it, girl!
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Old 04-02-2010, 12:21 PM   #12
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Sorry that happened. You could try a park in the morning. It's cooler in the morning and everybody walking along the trail is there for fitness as well.
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Old 04-03-2010, 04:30 AM   #13
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For a weird reason I have a "double standard" for the above case.

I do feel a bit scared that I might be walking outside and people might comment on me as I walk by. I also, feel very insecure when I have to eat fattening food around people. For me eating fattening food was always hush-hush.

Now the weird thing is that I was always an avid swimmer and I love swimming with a passion. So for a person who gets afraid to walk around dressed up in a street, I have absolutely NO problem with walking around in a crowded beach in my swimsuit(not even when I was 130 kg), because I wouldn't sacrifice swimming for any jackass.

And that ladies and gents is my doulbe standard.
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Old 04-03-2010, 05:11 AM   #14
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That's terrible that this happened to you spygirl. Maybe the gym would be a better environment for walking. Or like other posters said, somewhere more remote to walk. I would definitely bring your husband along since that has happened though.
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Old 04-03-2010, 07:51 AM   #15
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The best time of day to go walking outside is early morning. Young jerks like those usually sleep late. Keep going on your journey and don't let anyone stop you.
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