Absolutely. Not in an everyday sense. There are a lot of things I'm GLAD I can't or won't eat anymore because of the situation my eating put me in to begin with.
I'm talking about other times. Like at birthday parties for my nieces and nephews. I won't eat cake and ice cream, and am the only person in the room not enjoying myself, because I KNOW the calorie count would blow me out for the day. Why do I not enjoy myself? Because I really, REALLY want some cake, but know if I ate some I'd feel horribly guilty and just bad about myself in general for "giving in."
Like when my office (of four people mind you) decides to order out for lunch for pizza, and I won't go or go on to lunch alone while they eat every single time because I COULD eat like two pieces of pizza...but then I'd be starving all afternoon and I know it's "just not worth it."
For me those times aren't mindless eating...they're special times or celebrations. But the calorie counting and obsession with it that I have has ruined these times for me. I know it's not about the food, or shouldn't be...but that's part of it. And it sucks, for me, being the one different in a small group.
For me, calorie counting takes some of the emotion out of eating. Boils it down to numbers. I'd have the cake if I wanted to, knowing I'd have to find a way to crunch the day's numbers. It's actually a good feeling of control.
It's just that I MISS, at times, the freedom of not having to crunch numbers and subtract part of my dinner that night to afford pizza that day. I know, like I said, that not paying attention got me into trouble to begin with, and I won't go back to it ever...but it was easier on my brain to not obsess over it...
Robin, I like your shoe analogy. For me, some things are worth the price tag-if I have the means and they had better be SPECTACULAR shoes (or calories). So, I guess "lightening up" recipes corresponds to getting the shoes on sale!
It's just that I MISS, at times, the freedom of not having to crunch numbers and subtract part of my dinner that night to afford pizza that day. I know, like I said, that not paying attention got me into trouble to begin with, and I won't go back to it ever...but it was easier on my brain to not obsess over it...
I know what you mean, but when I start to fall into those self-pitying thoughts, I try to remember that there are so many people who have to change their whole lifestyle for really tragic reasons: MS, MD, Parkinsons, lupus, diabetes, cancer. It sucks--really sucks--that I can't eat like other people can eat, and so I miss out on some things, much like a recovering alcoholic misses out on wedding and New Year's toasts or whatever. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world.
MindiV, I understand and sympathize! I've eaten two slices of cake this year on separate birthdays and went out for pizza on Valentine's Day. I didn't rearrange my day's calories to make room for these things - I just ate healthy otherwise, but if I had tried to make room for the two slices of pizza I had that night, I would have basically eaten nothing for the rest of the day. I know that's a good way to keep me in check regularly--for instance, of course I am not going to treat myself to a piece of my boyfriend's leftover pizza and then sacrifice having dinner later--it IS a little depressing.
It's not that I want to eat this way all the time, but that it would be nice to be able to decide, on the spur of the moment, to go out to eat with someone without having to say, "No, there's nothing for me to eat there" to the majority of the places suggested. But unless I've been planning a treat day for at least a week or so, I just can't do it. I'm one of those people who eats frequently throughout the day and I only get about 1300 calories, so I'm unwilling to spend more than 400 calories on one meal.
Knowing calories ironically makes my diet more difficult because I don't eat a lot of things that are considered healthy snacks due to their calories. I would love to eat nuts for snacks, both for the protein and taste, but I refuse to spend 160 calories for such a small amount! For some people, that's a fine amount, but even that is too much for me so I have a pretty limited base of foods.
Fray, I'm the SAME way with things like nuts...I know they're good for me, but I'd prefer to "spend" those calories on something more substantial. I could eat some peanuts this very second and be starving in half an hour...
Regarding the "there's nothing for me to eat there" issue at a lot of restaurants, I found (after getting this advice from my WW leader) that I can eat almost anywhere. The key (for me) is to order something that isn't insanely awful for me, and ask for half of it to be packed up to go before it's even brought to the table. So I'll order something that looks decent, and try to eat it slowly so I'm more aware of when I'm full, and then I've got leftovers for the next day (occasionally for more than one meal if the servings are huge), or for my boyfriend.
Regarding the "there's nothing for me to eat there" issue at a lot of restaurants, I found (after getting this advice from my WW leader) that I can eat almost anywhere. The key (for me) is to order something that isn't insanely awful for me, and ask for half of it to be packed up to go before it's even brought to the table. So I'll order something that looks decent, and try to eat it slowly so I'm more aware of when I'm full, and then I've got leftovers for the next day (occasionally for more than one meal if the servings are huge), or for my boyfriend.
You can also just get coffee or tea. It's nerve racking the first few times, because there is a strong social convention that everyone eats or no one does, but I've found a careful wince and a "my stomach is acting up" stops questions--no one wants to hear about your gastrointestinal distress in any detail.
There are couple things you have to do: don't talk about the food. Don't look at the menu and say "man, I wish I could eat", don't drool over other people's food when it comes, don't sigh. If anyone objects, say firmly "I'm here for the company and I love getting to see you". Getting people used to the idea that sometimes you just don't eat is an important thing for the long haul.
Think about it this way: if you kept strict kosher, wouldn't you still want to go sit with your friends in non-kosher places? Would you feel offended if someone who kept strict kosher wouldn't eat? This is the same thing.
Figuring out that it's okay to Just Not Eat was huge for me. It opened up worlds.
It's just that I MISS, at times, the freedom of not having to crunch numbers and subtract part of my dinner that night to afford pizza that day. I know, like I said, that not paying attention got me into trouble to begin with, and I won't go back to it ever...but it was easier on my brain to not obsess over it...
The thing that helps me with this is knowing that the "naturally thin" people I know do this. Maybe not number crunching specifically, but they are constantly adjusting what they eat, both consciously and subconsciously so that it's natural for them to eat less as supper if they've had a big lunch or even to skip the burger if they want the shake, instead of having both. So it's not that every single choice has to be perfect, but it's not just a series of one mindless choice after another either.
Regarding the "there's nothing for me to eat there" issue at a lot of restaurants, I found (after getting this advice from my WW leader) that I can eat almost anywhere. The key (for me) is to order something that isn't insanely awful for me, and ask for half of it to be packed up to go before it's even brought to the table. So I'll order something that looks decent, and try to eat it slowly so I'm more aware of when I'm full, and then I've got leftovers for the next day (occasionally for more than one meal if the servings are huge), or for my boyfriend.
^^This.
I *know* that the Cheesecake Factory is a calorie-laden **** for most dieters. But I *love* going the Cheesecake every other Friday. I sit at the bar and read my book. The bartender asks if it's "The Usual."
The Usual = Factory Burger on wheat, no tomatoes, cheese melted, no fries (substitute with steamed broccoli, not doused in butter -- they make it plain for me!). No bread before the meal.
It is de-licious and I really, truly enjoy it. The Factory Burger is published to have 737 calories with 16g saturated fat. I have no idea if that includes french fries, as the "meal" on the menu comes with french fries. I just assume it doesn't. So, if I eat the whole burger (which I never do), it's 737 calories + broccoli. Usually, I can get through half or even 2/3, so while it's more than I'd usually eat at lunch, it's a really great treat on a Friday, and gives me mega-energy for my Cardio Super Box class on Friday nights.
This is a ritual and a meal that I enjoy. So I do it.
Last edited by rachinma; 03-20-2010 at 09:40 AM.
Reason: clarity
