[katrinabgood]

Good Morning gang...er...group...our gang has dwindled a bit!

2 cute...2cute...2cute...first of all, you are NOT a terrible grandmother, just one who is really being taken advantage of. If the other grandmother had already said that she can't handle it, and obviously the parents of these children can't handle it, what makes them think that YOU can? YOU, of course!

If you don't mind, can I brainstorm here a bit?

1. Why does your son and DIL need to leave them with you for three days at a time? Is this an ongoing situation?

Once in a while is one thing, but to do this weekly is downright unfair to you, and to these children. What if you didn't live near enough to do this? The other grandmother has already said she can't. They might have to go out and find a baby sitter, or, gasp! stay with their children, where they should be! Children that young NEED their parents...

2."I always have put others well being ahead of my own. Gee... that sounds awfully conceited. " You, putting other people's needs before your own, are NOT conceited for saying that. BUT, it is definitely time for you to put YOUR needs near the top of the list! Obviously you have been doing this for so long, that nobody thinks anything of it by asking for more and more and more...BECAUSE YOU NEVER SAY NO! They probably think you DO enjoy doing this because you have never said that you don't!

3. "My son did ask if I was okay with them staying. I just don't have the courage to say "no I am not okay with it. It is too hard on me for days" I HATE being put into a situation that would require me to have to admit it. "

Why??? Why can't you admit it? Does that make you a better grandma? It certainly is making you miserable. Do your grandchildren deserve to be taken care of by someone who resents being taken advantage of by watching them?

4. "I resent that my husband helps "mi-nute-ly" and thinks he is a saint for it. " Did he agree to this situation, saying, "Sure! We'll take the kids!" Or, is he just going along with what you could not say no to, or at least set limits to? I think I'm seeing a little displaced anger here...anger towards your son, aimed at your husband. {Please forgive my armchair psychiatry} I love YoYo Mom's answer...." Remember that for his generation, he thinks he is helping you out a lot and is probably somewhat put out that you aren't appreciating his efforts." How true!

All in all, 2cute, the best thing that you can do for yourself and for everyone involved is to be honest with your husband, your son and dil, and most of all, with yourself. Tell them how you feel. You are entitled to your feelings. This doesn't make you a bad person. On the contrary, you strike me as a very giving, generous person...but one who needs to be able to give to herself also.

If I have overstepped my bounds, please forgive me...it's very easy to sit back and dispense advice without being in the middle of the firestorm...but, sometimes an outsiders spin on the situation points things out to you that you cannot see from your vantage point.

BTW, YoYo Mom...your reply was thoughtful and insightful! Feel free to post here more often!

Take care, my little 2cute...you can ALWAYS vent here without anyone thinking any less of you! That's what we're here for!

[SaraJoy]

Hi again,

First off I'd like to say "Ditto" to everything Kat said, to 2cute as well as Yo-Yo!

I just wanted to pop back on and say that today is my one-month diet anniversary! Yep, on May 29th I decided enough was enough and now it's June 29th and I'm still going strong! I've lost a total of 20 pounds this past month!

That's all I had to say.
Sara

[LuckyLadyBug]

Wow, congrats Sara.....that is wonderful.

Are you following a specific eating plan?

Happy Anniversary....

[SaraJoy]

Thanks Lucky!

I'm not on a specific plan like WW or anything. I'm just incorporating everything I've learned so far about dieting into one diet. I find that individuals who are overweight are actually much more aware of what's healthy and what's not than people who don't have any weight issues! Ahh... to be one of those naive few!

My typical day kinda eats like this:

Breakfast: yogurt and fruit

Lunch: healthly small sub (Schneider's Fat Free Cold Cuts are awesome. 3 Slices have like 0.3 grams of fat and 65 calories depending on the specific kind of meat and I usually only use 2! They are very tasty with tomato and lettuce!)

Dinner: Chicken, Pork or Fish with LOTS of veggies and a salad and no straight carbs like rice or potatoes with dinner. No carbs at dinner and after is a good rule for me.

Something from WW that I DO use is it's fast food guide because I still want to go out for a meal with friends sometimes so that tells me what's healthy. Usually I can eat any kind of fast food chicken so long as I take the skins off, subs, etc.

I drink lots of water and for some variety, Crystal Light!

Seems to be working for me! I should stop writing now before my posts fill up this entire thread!

TTFN
Sara

[LuckyLadyBug]

Sara, I have been doing my own thing but loss is too slow. I will be 6 feet under before I reach my goal weight at this rate.

I have been a semi-vegetarian for 20 years but over the last 10 have gotten lacks on watching my protein intake. I don't (and now can't) eat red meat but with some experimenting have noticed when I eat more protein my body feels better. I ordered "Protein Power" which is a diet with low carbs. It was recommended in a menopause book I am reading. I am not in menopause yet but know it's coming and want to get ready.

Okay, everyone, CHEER for me....I actually went and started an account on FitDay.....Yep, me!!!!

I decided to promise myself to (ugh) journal for one week. Be ready for some whining.

Baylee Keep telling me how journaling works....I need to know that in order to keep it up.

It is going to be in the mid 90's here today....probably just sit around. (I don't have AC) Maybe go to the lake.

Probably need to drink some beer....I know carbs...but the good news is I don't start my diet and journaling until Monday!!!!

[katrinabgood]

Lucky, Lucky, all the way...
Got an account on ol' Fitday!
Yay, Lucky!



How's that for a cheer?

[LuckyLadyBug]

Thanks, Kat....Now just so I use it.

[MichelleK]

Boo!

Just popping in to say hi! I know I have been gone for over a week. I went to West Virginia, then 2 days to the shore then popped on up to Rhode Island last night for my nephew's graduation party today. I think I will be stay here for a week or two then go home.

Food is totally OUT OF CONTROL but as soon as I get home I am getting right back on track! Have been doing alot of walking so hopefully that will even things out!

I am really tired from travelling so I will just say bye for now and catch up with you all tomorrow at some point!

TTFN Michelle

[2cute2Bfat]

Hi everyone.
I am feeling better today. Just a tired old grandma ranting and raving earlier. Thanks for all of the suggestions. I must correct some misconceptions though.

My son and dil are both GREAT parents. My son has a workshop he must attend every other month for his job. It is Fri-Sun.
Since he has to pay for a hotel if he goes by himself... they thought it would be good to use this opportunity as a little getaway for the two of them. With three kids you don't get much "alone" time. They have told me it is not a necessaity and she will stay home if it is too much on me.
They know their children need their parents and they are always there for them. They are living on one paycheck so mommy can be there for them.

My problem this weekend is... the workshop got cancelled and my husband and son decided to use me to take advantage of fishing and golf. I was angry with my husband as much as anyone.... except myself. They did end up getting the kids early. Like I said... I was just an old, tired, ranting grandma.
I don't mind what people think of me... but I do mind that anyone thinks my son and dil are not good parents... they are great parents.
Enough on that subject.

Michelle... nice to see you again.
I would LOVE to go to Rhode Island and West Virginia. The farthest east I have been is Chattanoga , Tenn.
I have been to Chicago a few times. I hated to traffic in Chicago.
Another place I have always wanted to visit is Maine.

Okay Lucky..... here is my cheer for you.
"We...
are...
proud of you
Yes we are proud of you. Hey hey hey
We ...
are...
proud of you
Yes we are proud of you!!!!
GO LUCKY !!!!"

SaraJoy... congratulations. 20lbs is a remarkable accomplishment!
It sounds like it is a sensable plan and should last a lifetime.
Keep up the good work.

Mary... I hope you have a wonderful mini vacation. I am looking forward to mine during the 4th of July weekend.

Baylee... let me know how that beer tastes.
Years ago.... my kids were little... I drank a single beer and the girls started crying. They knew something was seriously wrong because mommy NEVER drinks a beer. LOL
I felt so sorry for them. It was just a really hot day... and for some reason it just sounded good. I never drank a beer again. LOL


Yoyo mom... I hope you stop in again and share a little about you. We would love to have you join our group. Tell us all about you.

Malia... give your little baby hugs from me. Poor thing getting neutered... ouch !! I bet he will be happier.. and hopefully no more biting. My baby hasn't bitten anyone... but I do fear it sometimes. He is soooooo possessive. They say you should expose your pets to lots of human contact at an early age so they are more receptive to people.

Kat... it is always good to hear from you.
I think your foreign language skills need a little help though.
If you are talking to a guy.. asking him if he wants to "go out" is a lot different than "do you need to relieve yourself"

Okay my friends... I am out of here.
I hope we "hear" from more of you soon.

[2cute2Bfat]

I am back.
I decided since we are soooo close to 29 posts I am going to start the new thread tonight and we can start anew in the morning.
Soooo Do not post here ..instead come post in our new ongoing thread... #183.
See you all there.