You're right that I cannot assume that the child will get poor care in foster care, but I don't think that we can assume he will get good care either.
If he only get's good care because it's a high profile case, that to me is an even bigger indictment of the foster care system. You can only assure care if you get cameras or reporters involved?
I saw kids in foster care, taken because of medical neglect receive inadequate medical care in foster homes and in group homes. I've seen DCFS place kids in homes they knew were inadequate, but because there were no other openings, put the kid there anyway.
There are no guarantees of this child getting poor care, there's just no guarantee of him having good care, either.
I hope he is placed in a home that is medically and emotionally nurturing. I'm just very jaded, having worked within the system for so long. I know that the kind of foster care he would need, is extremely rare, difficult to find, and the ones that exist rarely have openings. If his foster care social worker can't find such a home, he or she will place the child where they can.
And clearly, if the medical needs are not being met, he is placed in a home where he WILL have those needs met. Especially since this is now a high profile case. You can't assume that this child will be "thrown away" in the system, because lets face it, all eyes are on the State because of the charges. You can't assume that his foster care will be poor by virtue of the fact that it IS foster care. This is clearly an extraordinary case and there is NO DOUBT that special care is being taken by the medical and social state representatives to ensure the social, psychological, physical, and medical care of this child is being properly provided.
Sorry, I agree with Kaplods. The older I get the more cynical I get about the "state" doing the right thing by people. I've seen plenty of cases where foster care and oversight of these kids was pretty bad. Also the kind of intensive treatment this child needs is pretty expensive. I can't see them paying for that, at least not in my state.
Teachers can only do so much and if the mother doesn't take her son to the doctor they can't do much for him can they? It's a ultimately parent's responsibility to take care of their child.
I was overweight growing up also, but never that overweight- all through high school I was like 165 lbs, overweight but not morbidly obese. I'm sure most of us while we were overweight children were not morbidly obese while we were living at home. My weight scaled out of control when I went away to college, sure I have PCOS and that played a big role in my weight, but I still think this isn't just a case of a few pounds, this kid is at least 250 lbs overweight... super morbidly obese IMO!
I do hope that the parents are given some nutritional education so that they can have their son returned to them. I think if the family is monitored and the boy is losing weight then the boy should stay with his parents- I am sure there is no question that his parents love him.
Absolutely this is a form of abuse - it may not be intentional, but it is endangering the child's physical life and quality of life.
The problem would be, though, where to determine the line between abuse/neglect and simply the way a child is built? When he or she is twenty pounds over, fifty, a hundred?
Sorry, but NO child is "built" to be 550 lbs at the age of 14. As the Dept said, they don't remove children simply because of their weight. It is because the health needs of this child were being neglected.
While this story is horrendous - I'm really not sure that having the mother sent to jail is a good idea. If this judgment sets a precedence (although I realize with a 550 lbs 14 year old this is not typical) - that a parent can be arrested because their child is overweight, obese ... where's the line? Is it 20 pounds, 50, 100?
Seems to me that this could also be a case of Munchausen Syndrome - in which case the mother needs psychological attention. And I do agree that the boy should be taken out of the house, at least until counseling be given to the mother and a psych evaluation.
Mixed feelings here. I cannot imagine that removing this boy from his home is going to his obesity condition at this point. If anything, it could make it worse.
I would like to think some sort of intervention and educational program would be a step in the right direction. The boy needs his family though.
Is it abuse? Absolutely! 550 is incredible. He didn't put that food in the house. He didn't sneak food. He should not be with his family until they all get therapy.
Do you think that maybe the mother felt about her son the way a lot of us have probably felt ourselves about our weight issues--confused, hopeless, depressed, etc.? Being a mother, i can't imagine letting my kids' weight spiral out of control like that, but if it were to happen, seeing my kid at 500+ pounds would all but kill me. Imagine the feelings of guilt you would have knowing how badly you screwed up SO BADLY at raising a healthy child. And if the mother is dealing with weight issues herself, could you imagine how much stress that would put on someone worrying about her own weight problems, let alone her son's? I know how stressful it is dealing with just my own. I know its not an excuse her her, but then again, none of us have justifiable excuses for our weight problems. It is what is it is now, and we have all finally come to terms on how to deal with it.
I don't know all of the details about this case, but those were my first thoughts when reading this post. In my opinion, this family would probably be better benefited with A LOT of psychological and medical help...along with A LOT of SUPPORT...rather than ripping a child away from his mother.
The child just needs to be put in inpatient care for an eating disorder... unless.. it can be medically explained. And maybe it can. Maybe there is something going haywire with his hormones or other neurochemicals and it causes the kid to just eat and eat.
If it can't be medically explained, than he or she needs help for an eating disorder, because that is what this is. At that age, you can get food somewhere besides your home. You can also get food when you are even younger than that if you want to. Taking the kid out of the home would be necessary, at least for some time, because this isn't a minor case of it at all.
I had a very overweight brother and sister. (much more overweight than I am now) They were getting their food from the neighbors. My brother was also dumpster diving behind a vending macine company that threw out its snacks behind the business. He would stash industrial packages of little donuts under his bed. 14 is not too young to do things like this. My parents kept putting my brother on a diet, but he kept begging for food from neighbors. Both of them shop-lifted candy nearly every day. They brought him to psychologists. He would whine about how unfair life was. He'd lie about the food of course, and make it seem like "dad's fault." He could play the system, and wasn't afraid of lying or manipulating anyone. The only way to stop this cycle would have been to chain him up in a closet-- but that is illegal.
I think this is a form of neglect. it's one thing to have a chubby kid its another thing to have a 500lbs 14 year old. the mother should have done something about her kids weight. she should have been taking her kid to a doctor to see why he was so big to to treat it so he could lose weight. 500lbs on an adult is dangerous imagine what it does to a child's body
I just think there's sort of a double standard when it comes to this. I mean...a majority of people (myself included now to an extent) think the child and parent should get counseling...that it's not neglect, just lack of education.
Think of the opposite, though. What if the child was 15, tall and only 90 pounds? What if the parent gave the child only crackers and a few cups of broccoli a day to eat? They'd be jailed for abuse - starving the child.
Why is it ok to severely overfeed a child or allow that child to overfeed himself enough to become dangerously, morbidly obese at such a young age?
I just think there's sort of a double standard when it comes to this. I mean...a majority of people (myself included now to an extent) think the child and parent should get counseling...that it's not neglect, just lack of education.
Think of the opposite, though. What if the child was 15, tall and only 90 pounds? What if the parent gave the child only crackers and a few cups of broccoli a day to eat? They'd be jailed for abuse - starving the child.
Why is it ok to severely overfeed a child or allow that child to overfeed himself enough to become dangerously, morbidly obese at such a young age?
I agree with you to a CERTAIN extent. But I think it all comes down to intent. I think it is a lot easier to overfeed you child without bad intention than it is to starve your child without bad intention. I've seen the Maury shows where parents intentionally overfeed their kids to make them fat...and there are 150lb 2-year-olds wobbling around the stage in ginormous diapers. That to me is abuse...they TRY to make their kids fat because they think its cute or whatever. And if that's the story in this case, then of course it is abuse.
I still have to use our own circumstances as an example here. When we all became overweight, most of us probably didn't consider (at the time) that each potato chip or twinkie we put in our mouths was destroying our bodies and our health. We realize it now...but the damage has already been done. Even though my kids aren't overweight, I'm not abusing my kids when I give them a cookie or get them a happy meal on occasion...even though I know its not GOOD for them.
At some point, this kids weight spiraled out of control. Not saying that the mother has no blame in it--she does. But unless she was intending to hurt her child, I don't consider it abuse. Obviously the child has an eating problem, which is a disorder just like anorexia. And at his age...and even younger...that can be hard for a parent to control. If the child were anorexic, would we expect his mother to hold him down and shove food down his throat? No. I think the child and mother need help...education, medical treatment, psychological counseling...taking the kid from his mother isn't going to cure his problem.
