Saef - I believe that when we feel sad and overwhelmed that we default to things we know, feelings that we can predict, a mindset that feels familiar to us. For us, unfortunately, those default feelings lead us back to the comfortable, dysmorphic pathways we have walked so well and so often in the past. I've been sick and mostly sedentary for four days now, and I've been walking those same 'I'm just fat and lazy' paths and haven't been allowing myself to heal. It is okay to be sick, it is okay to be sad, it is okay to grieve for Fritz without piling additional guilt and recriminations upon your head. Enjoy your memories of his life, reminisce and commune with your mother when she arrives and know that this grief doesn't make you less or return you to where you were years ago. You're just sad. It's okay.
Dagmar - good luck on the house hunt. It is an exciting time.
Steph - I'm so sorry about your father.
I feel pretty terrible still after almost a week. I'm supposed to be planting in my garden tomorrow, not lying in bed again. Bah.
Last edited by Shannon in ATL; 03-16-2013 at 11:36 PM.
Just checking into this thread for the first time since 3/13. Saef, I too am very sorry for your loss. I had a cat for over 16 years, and while she's been gone for nearly 10 more now, I still miss her. I have no doubt that Fritz will keep his place secure in your heart and memory for life.
I am starting a dogsit with "Lucy the loon" today. She is a wonderful but totally exhausting dog - the kind that you can run for 3 hours and she's ready for 3 more after a drink of water. I'm kind of relieved that my clients are coming back next Friday instead of the Sunday - will give me time to recover.
I am also going to take some time off from "all things real estate". I have imposed some kind of weird deadline to find a house and find myself wasting a lot of time looking at places I know won't work. I had a reasonable plan that I keep deviating from - kinda like dieting/maintenance .
I am making myself .
DH has also thrown himself very enthusiastically into it. We are both avoiding things in our lives that have to be addressed. Mine is losing Hap - she's leaving March 28th. DH's is finding employment.
On the positive side of things DH has now lost 11 lbs. and is down one pants size. I think this has finally given him the incentive to really give the weight loss/fitness thing a shot. I am very enthusiastic whenever he mentions it. I have to get back on track too - I've let the house hunt take over and I've given in to not being mindful of what I'm eating or stepping on the scale regularly.
So sorry about your loss Saef... As a cat lover I literally feel your pain. And what you just said about "feeling fat" even when your scale says you are doing find is a very helpful insight for me. I too feel fat when I am carrying emotional "weight." I also feel a lot fatter when my weight is going up even a little bit than when my weight is going down--- I mean when the scale says the same weight but one day I descend to weight x and on another day I ascend to weight x. I also wonder if "feeling fat", on some physiological level, can be physiologically very similar whether it is caused by a sugar crash or an emotional crash??? In both cases maybe there's some kind of metabolic "low" our bodies experience??
We are definitely moving to China. Just freaking out about all that has to get done.
My latest freak out has to do with my pets. We had already decided not to bring our Great Dane with us as she is elderly. We are going to move her to stay with our eldest dd (once she finds a job, we find her a house/condo, etc).... we plan on bringing our Dachshund and our two kitties with us. Everything I'm reading says a family can bring a maximum of two pets into the country. Dh is telling me he is sure there will be a way around it or someone to bribe! I'm freaking out.
I'm off to yoga to chill out..... then to Nordstrom's for some retail therapy. We are leaving on a planned cruise next Friday night and I need to shop and pack for that on top of everything else!! I went to Lululemon yesterday and bought two new tops even though I hadn't reached my planned goal (122), but I'm 123 and going down..... the stress may take some weight off yet....
Michele, when will you be moving ? What a fantastic opportunity, scary, yes, but you are up to it. I like your idea of retail therapy, always helpful to calm ones nerves.
Congratulations on the upcoming move, Michele. I agree - scary, but exciting at the same time!
I have been engaging in some retaliation shopping today. I am mad at DH and instead of telling him off I am shopping. Mature, huh? It's better than retaliation eating, though.
Michele, when will you be moving ? What a fantastic opportunity, scary, yes, but you are up to it. I like your idea of retail therapy, always helpful to calm ones nerves.
Dh's start date is April 15, but I don't plan on going until sometime this summer-- probably July. Before it's "official", dh has to get his work visa and pass his physical. Assuming those both happen, we move forward. He'll figure out more this week. He will do a lot of going back and forth between the two countries in the months ahead.
Retail therapy and yoga done. Now to tackle stuff at home.....
Michele, I have heard that there are a lot of ex pats in Bejing. I would want to live near them if I could. It is good your DH is going ahead as he will be able to scout around a little re: housing, if he has time. This is an opportunity of a lifetime. I was once offered a job in Arizona, way off in the boonies almost in New Mexico I didn't take it because I thought I would be homesick !!!!!
My dad is doing much better today, so I'm hopeful. He's eating a little (I brought him ice cream tonight and he enjoyed that), doing PT and speech therapy, and is much more engaged. I know stroke victims have a lot of ups and downs so we're all trying to take it as it comes.
Michele, I hope you can bring all the pets you want to. One does get the impression that bribes are fairly common in certain areas, so good luck with that!
Shannon, what will you be planting tomorrow? It has turned cold again up here so spring seems far away. Last weekend, I noticed some little yellow flowers blooming in my yard and the spring bulbs are starting to sprout a little. I have a good spring/early summer garden but it doesn't really get going until May.
dog - the kind that you can run for 3 hours and she's ready for 3 more after a drink of water. I'm kind of relieved that my clients are coming back next Friday instead of the Sunday - will give me time to recover.
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- she's leaving March 28th. DH's is finding employment.
whenever he mentions it. I have to get back on track too - I've let the house hunt take over and I've given in to not being mindful of what I'm eating or stepping on the scale regularly.
but 
