Midwife, yes, I could carry a conversation, but I am always breathing a bit heavy. I do tend to have a quick heart rate in general, and I know it shoots up very fast sometimes (like when I climb stairs). Maybe I just didn't have the HRM seated right when I got started or something? Weird.
Jessica - my heart rate does that. I just looked back at several runs and I show an average in the 150-160 range most of the time, some spike up to the low 200's, as low as 116. When I'm walking to warm up it shows me at 115-125 usually. Is yours one that lets you set your own training zones? I've changed mine up because I figure either mine runs high, either by misreading or is just naturally high?
And I have read on some of the heart rate forums that people have that problem is the monitor didn't make a good connection, or if the battery is weak. But yours is new, so that can't be right.
Midwife - my brain recognizes everything as hungry, too. Ick.
Rabbit - I can't have ice cream every time I want either, darnit...
. Feelings can be so big & blurry & weird-shaped & unintelligible. Putting something in one's mouth is always such a simple solution.
I like the first sentence. It makes sense to me. But I can't go with the 'always' in the second. I don't always. And my friend never does - and she's a bit too thin, the amount that's going on in her life at present.
But, yes, I kind of agree. And I'd like to think around the size, shape and nature of feelings a bit.
Kitty - we are spoilt for beaches. Lots of different kinds within 30 mins. 2-3 hrs to an airport. DB says I should say you have to be tough to live here and like freezing rain and no central heating. Spose he means life's not a picnic on the beach though the cherries are good this year.
Enough burbling. Night, night.
Let's take control of Wednesday. No woes but good WOEs.
Disappearing into the stress of work. The analysts whom I write with in Italy & Germany & the U.K. & yes Australia & New Zealand all seem to be departing for holidays. Which means they want all their work done immediately before they go. And they all want my attention, all at once. And in the meantime, I'm raging against my dead but still constantly ringing left ear, and with the remnants of vertigo that makes me feel I'm balanced on the stern of a rowboat. I am angry. So angry. So very aggrieved. But I am not going to eat over this. I'll lift weights, I'll do the elliptical & arc trainer, I'll spin, I'll strain through Pilates, and somehow I'll get through the week. And damn it, I'm going to ask for a couple days off. Very soon. Once I am cleared to drive distances again, as the vertigo abates. I want to flee to Upstate NY. Someplace greener, where people seem less stressed & are not straining & striving so hard. (If that place indeed exists.)
I have found that vacations to get away from stress have to be longer than a couple of days, because it takes me three days just to depressurize. Those are often not a nice three days.
One could also say I'm "in withdrawal" from my addictive behavior with work. Takes awhile before my mindset (and probably stress hormone level) changes, eases up...
So... let's all plan for 5 or 6 days off... at a nice motel with a pool and good exercise room... with plenty of health-conscious, maintenance-friendly restaurants nearby...
silverbirch - love the sentiment of "woe vs WOE". May have to stickie that one to my monitor (and fridge, and car dashboard, and pantry door) right next to the bright yellow one carrying the command, "Ditch it, Delegate it, or Dominate it."
rabbit - dairy is also my treat! I could probably survive and thrive without meat, but being sentenced to life without dairy would hardly be worth living. Portion control, portion control, portion control. Having some now and then is better than having nothing!
saef - you've really been forced to build a lot of character recently (as if you didn't have enough already!)! I hope you get your very-needed vacation soon.
kitty - I'd have to say that getting out of the negative loop was a massive contributor to my loss success, as was 3FC. For a while it was eerily like having an imaginary friend, except I was talking to myself. I am slipping up again on that front over time management; methinks I'd better go find that ring again. I have had more than a few moments of considering a small tattoo of an antique compass rose somewhere discreet but in my mirror view to keep me on track, as well!
Not doing well on exercise. I am moving more than I ever have, which is great ... but it's time to start thinking about some goals. I'm lost in that post-championship fog and my ship needs a new direction.
Feeling overwhelmed by life at the moment....just a fly-by to thank Saef for being such an inspiration and Becky for reminding me that I should be my own best friend and build myself up rather than beat myself down. I like the Ditch, Delegate, Dominate very much. And SB's WOE vs woe.
Not a bad day. I seem to be getting back into the groove with Beck.
To continue a theme, Thursday's child has far to go. I interpret this to mean either (a) go long - as in running - and leave the heart rate monitor behind or (b) you have got more than 5-10 lbs to lose. (That is me.)
I think I'll use this rhyme about children and days of the week to get me to post. (NB Wednesday's child is full of woe - which popped into my head last night.)
The "mystery 3" are gone and took half of a friend with them. 148.5 this morning. Feels like the groove is coming back (WOE Dominated!). Proof positive that my adopted lifestyle is fully capable of taking me where I want to go.
Much work stress and distress here as well - I suspect that my employer is in severe financial straits. Rumors are flying, people are quitting left and right, strange after-hours meetings are taking place, and I'm in the middle of a midlife crisis and planning an escape. I have HAD IT with the cube farm, corporate intrigue, regimented ways of doing things, and turf wars. Blah! 21 years of this crapola is enough. (Ditch It).
A good day though the scales need a new battery. Tested them pre bath, post bath (+1lb) and then after a short wait (+0.5lb). Oh! The thrill of not knowing what I really weigh at all! Rather liberating.
Exercise good but I'm wrestling with slight inflammation of the rotatory cuff. Well, not wrestling really as that would hurt but icing and resting and rehabbing. Tedious. My UB will turn to mush. I exaggerate but I hate injuries as much as the next one of you.
Becky - give it all up and run away to sea! Seriously, sorry things aren't looking good but, on the other hand, This Could Be Telling You Something.
Friday's child is loving and giving. This clearly refers to our sense of 3FC community responsibility. We put in a lot - and get out a lot. It really is most impressive.
Becky, is the company being acquired, by any chance? That's one possibility if it's running out of money, but still has assets that another company would covet. If so, then they are maybe negotiating with potential buyers & the big people are trying to work out packages for themselves. Or do you think they will survive but that they're thinking of reconfiguring or downsizing, going private? (I don't know how large your company is.) From the sounds of it, I think you're right to start thinking of an exit plan.
Work relented a bit. I saw my primary care doctor today. My blood sugar was 115 about three hours after lunch & an hour after eating some cherries, and he says that could be the prednisone. My blood pressure was up, too, so I'm definitely back on my 5MG sliver of Quinapril again. I'm not surprised, as I've felt stressed by work & fretting over my health. This felt like a pointless visit. Monday's appointment with the specialist will be more insightful.
Being deaf in one ear makes it hard to hear when there are a lot of ambient noises. I had some difficulty chatting with the guys at our cafeteria table today. Also, when I talked sometimes I could weirdly hear my voice echoing inside my out-of-order left ear. Not sure how to describe it, but it's strange. I have never heard myself with that physical sensation before, of an echo occurring in my skull & nearly inside my sinuses.
Also, on my iPod earbuds, I really miss hearing songs correctly. You know how the stereophonic arrangement sends different sounds to different speakers. I am only hearing on one speaker. It's really changed a couple of my favorites in the workout soundtrack.
I'm wiped out tonight after the elliptical & Pilates. I need to not stay on the computer & reach another level of fatigue. I need to go to bed. NOW.
silverbirch - as I am the one carrying the insurance and providing the reliable paycheck (spouse is self-employed), running away is not a likely scenario. It's food for marvelous daydreams, though ... Regarding the Telling You Something, I have had the little 24/7 voice of career angst for at least a decade. I am the most risk-averse human being I've ever met, and even I am finally tired of doing what everyone else wants me to do. Action being the antidote to despair, I am starting back to school yet again this fall. Engineering has been a reliable source of fairly high income, but I'm bored and unhappy. Big difference between doing something you're good at, and doing something you love.
saef - very, very possible. My industry (solar) is "sifting". There are a lot of little companies getting footholds with new technologies, and we are a bigger company in a world of hurt. We were the first to our niche, but embraced a formula that could only be optimized so far, per the laws of physics. The jump from a little *** company into a mass manufacturing corporation was not handled well, and we have all of our eggs in one basket with a single product that costs just a little too much, and is just a little too inefficient. If I know that, I am sure possible buyers would know as well. I'm not sure our assets would have value to anyone else. Exit strategy. Yes.
Not much on tap today. I have a 4 hour meeting on, get this, "Making Meetings Work." More corporate goofiness. I really must get back into the swing of being amused instead of annoyed, and continue taking steps forward. Depression and inaction are not going to solve a darn thing - it didn't work with the extra weight, either.
My weight continued down .2 from last Friday: 142.8. I see that as statistically insignificant, and yet emotionally significant, because it means I am handling work & health stress more sensibly: I am working the machines at the gym really hard, taking off & going to the movies one evening ("Cyrus," quite funny), getting to bed sensibly instead of staying up late angst-ing online. Good for me.
I'm trying to be calm today despite a scheduling snafu. I was up at 5 AM for the gym, but I check e-mail beforehand. Big mistake. Manager sent e-mail at 7:30 PM last night, telling me she wanted something by 8:30 AM the following morning. So in my gym clothes, fuming, I sat down at laptop & worked from 5:30 AM to 8:20 AM on that thing & then handed it in. Gym time: Poof! So maybe lunch hour? Maybe before dinner? I'm strangely uneasy at this disruption of my schedule. For some things in my life, like exercise, I am like a train. I make regularly scheduled stops daily at particular times. (And I don't mean I'm Amtrak; I mean I'm Metro North Commuter Rail in NY area.) When I can't make a stop, it messes with my head & I feel on edge & guilty & unsettled until this is remedied. I know I will have no peace of mind today till I've had my workout. The undone thing will be nagging at me all day.
Becky, hang in there during this hard time. Wouldn't it be great to get a new employer who'd pay for your new degree? I know NOTHING about solar, but I have worked on documents in which I wrote the words "photovoltaic" and "thin-film PV modules" and "dye-sensitized solar cells" over & over again. (I don't claim to understand the stuff, I just write it or rewrite it.) A shot in the dark: First Solar? Suntech Power? (I don't expect you to answer on that, though.) If it would help you at all with resume-blasting, these little ones come to my mind for various reasons which I obviously cannot go into: Sharp Solar, Applied Quantum, BrightView, Confluence, Innovalight, Solexant.
saef, bless your heart, you are speaking my language! I work for Uni-Solar (ENER on the stock ticker - if you go there and look at the 2 year chart, you'll see why I'm nervous ). I think our company founder was the first to commercialize thin-film flexible PV, but the process is somewhat unpredictable and can only go so far due to limitations on physical and chemical laws.
I had a very rough time in college picking a major - within a year I went from computer engrg to biology to mech engrg. Biology and geology are my true loves, but I have had to be content with being a hobbyist in those. Now that I'm approaching the 2nd half of my life (geez, at least I hope so), I'm much more motivated to follow my passions and figure out a way to make those financially viable. Critics, peers, and friends who've seen the business plan think I've got a winner. So, I need to quit whining, and put the energy into executing the plan. Kinda sounds like weight loss!
Becky, I sympathize with your corporate woes. I'm a software engineer for a medical device company, so we get the whole slew of it too. Cube farm, meetings about how to have meetings (the worst was the 5S training -- a 3-hour meeting that boils down to "clean up your cubicle"), endless processes and processes about how to create processes. We have all the processes in place because we submit stuff to the FDA, so they are actually necessary, but some of them get crazy. I had to do a training session where I had to read a 90-page document which consisted entirely of things like, "The product development must occur as described in the product development process."
What are you looking at going into instead? I sometimes dream of leaving the corporate world but I don't know what I'd do, and certainly anything else I'd do either wouldn't pay as much or would require another expensive degree.
Saef, that sucks about your schedule snafu. Sending an email at 7:30pm for something to be done by 8:30am is ridiculous! I hate how nowadays people are expected to be on call 24/7 for work. I would have missed it entirely since I don't check email between when I leave (5pm) and when I arrive (8:30am).
My triathlon is tomorrow morning. I've been drinking lots of water today so I can stay hydrated. Ate the lunch I brought from home instead of the one provided at work. Unfortunately I'm out of my allergy nasal spray so my nose is clogged up though. Hopefully it won't be a problem. Also, it's TOM, which is irritating when I have a race (although Playtex Sport tampons are really quite good). I feel kind of crappy in general today and I'm sure it's because of TOM. Hopefully it will go away for tomorrow.
More corporate goofiness. I really must get back into the swing of being amused instead of annoyed, and continue taking steps forward. Depression and inaction are not going to solve a darn thing - it didn't work with the extra weight, either. 
I've been drinking lots of water today so I can stay hydrated. Ate the lunch I brought from home instead of the one provided at work. Unfortunately I'm out of my allergy nasal spray so my nose is clogged up though. Hopefully it won't be a problem. Also, it's TOM, which is irritating when I have a race (although Playtex Sport tampons are really quite good). I feel kind of crappy in general today and I'm sure it's because of TOM. Hopefully it will go away for tomorrow.
