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Lighten Up! Feeling a little stressed out over your diet? This forum is for you! Laugh a little, relax, and take a load off!


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Old 07-15-2011, 05:24 PM   #1
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Talking SEX And The PAINT CAN


A newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements
for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for an entire month."

The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying, and the husband obviously was very depressed.

"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked him what happened. "Well, the first week was difficult; however, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. The third week, however, was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, or anything to keep our minds free of carnal thoughts. But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I noticed that she didn't have panties on and I was overcome with lust and I had my way with her, right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.

"You understand this means you will not be welcome into our church," stated the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, hanging his head. "We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore, either."
As long as I live I will TESTIFY HIS LOVE!
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Old 07-15-2011, 05:42 PM   #2
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Haha. That is hilarious. Love it.
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Old 07-15-2011, 06:29 PM   #3
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Old 07-17-2011, 09:29 AM   #4
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hehehe ;D
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Old 07-17-2011, 12:13 PM   #5
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Old 07-17-2011, 12:30 PM   #6
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Old 07-18-2011, 05:38 PM   #7
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Old 07-18-2011, 08:07 PM   #8
Being Me-Inside and Out
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That is too funny

Back in Shape
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Old 07-18-2011, 08:36 PM   #9
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~LMBO~ Hilarious!

One For every 10 Pounds Lost:

~~~~~~~ I Am A Calorie Counter & Proud Of It~~~~~~~
Click Below to see My Goal Pics Size 22 to size 2 http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...ml#post3626190
Started my weight loss journey on 11-11-08
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Old 07-19-2011, 01:05 AM   #10
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Began weight loss ~ January 18, 2011 at 280 lbs
Met original goal ~ Normal BMI (147 lbs) on March 8, 2012 Goal story and photos
Met revised goal ~ 135 lbs on May 12, 2012
Pregnancy May 2012 - January 2013
Post-preg weight loss ~ January 2013 - July 2014
Now maintaining < 135 lbs

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Old 07-19-2011, 09:45 AM   #11
Le geek, c'est chic
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This joke was a huge hit at dinner this weekend. Thanks for sharing it!
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Old 07-19-2011, 12:47 PM   #12
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Haha!! Too funny.
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Old 07-25-2011, 04:39 AM   #13
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Oh my!
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Old 09-15-2011, 01:42 PM   #14
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Old 09-27-2011, 04:11 PM   #15
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1st mini goal - 240 lbs. -Set 9/27/11-
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