bennyhannahmama/kim: Good luck with the mediator ... I don't know if there are things you'd be willing to share in PM, or if you want a 'divorce/diet buddy.'
Someone suggested starting a divorce support forum here on 3FC, and I'm not sure ... I mean, it's a good idea, but I still feel like I need to keep certain aspects of my situation more private than the dieting stuff, and I think I'd be on 3FC for a long time. I guess what I'm trying to say is I can see being good online friends with people here, and there are just parts of my situation I don't want anybody I "know" to know about.
I guess that doesn't really make sense, does it. A lot of what happened I haven't told *anybody* yet. And I feel like if I post here, people will pass judgment about getting a divorce, breaking my vows, yada yada, but if anybody really knew everything that happened, they would never say that. I'm in counseling, but I have a hard time talking about the really bad stuff.
Sleep is TOUGH when you're so stressed out. The friend I stayed with for a while said I was crying and screaming "no, no, no" night after night. I *try* not to stress about how little sleep I'm getting, because the more you think about it, the more you can't sleep.
Re: the bingeing ... temporarily can you cut out all sugar/artificial sugar? That may help you deal with the urge to binge. I used to binge ALL THE TIME and it has greatly cut down on my urges to binge. Just throwing that out there as an idea.
I'm sorry, I think I turned this post totally into me.
I hear you are having a tough time, though ... please hang in there, and please post here for support. I personally could definitely used a "divorce buddy."
Have a drs. appt. on April 20th...hopefully will have the date for the surgery then. Pulling out my book because I have been trying to clean the house and just do a little at a time. Not much new here...just little old me.
Coaches/Buddies We are having metaphorical fire drills at work, and it is pretty, well, stressful isn't quite the right word, but frustrating perhaps. Average stressful and frustrating and you'll get it. DD was having a terrible day too, hitting a teacher at school, and getting put to bed in the middle of supper. DS is teething and is a crank.
But I did well with my eating and was right on plan. Got to ride my mountain bike too, and did 50% more distance today in the same amount of time. Enjoyed it a lot more too. I'm feeling pretty good about my ho-hum day.
I got a couple new weight loss/motivation books last night. The first is 100 Days of Weight Loss by Linda Spangle, which I like a lot at first read through. Kind of like BDS-light. The second is Our Lady of Weight Loss by Janice Taylor, which looks to be fun and sassy. Sometimes I really like fun and sassy and sometimes I don't, so we'll see how this goes. Both of these authors have web presences if you care to look--it is too close to the links policy for me to post. I'm still kind of looking at the CBT for Dummies book, but I'm sort of losing interest. Its focus is depression and anxiety applications of CBT, but it really does look like JBeck has distilled a great plan for diet compliance, as if that was really a question anyway. And I've still got the Tao Te Ching and Beowulf on the table as well. Grendel was approaching the mead hall when last I left them.
Tomorrow I'm supposed to have dinner with some friends, so I need to get a definite plan together for that. Going to my favorite place for carne seca and guacamole, so I need to be sure to save up a few extra calories for that. Tomorrow is my 2nd to last run of the C25K program, but not my 2nd to last run! And I may be getting to ride on Friday after all, so we'll see how that goes.
Finally, I need to start thinking about how I'm going to handle the trip to Boston next week. I've got travel issues, family issues, race issues, birthday party issues (DH's), overscheduling issues, as well as looking out for a van Gogh look-alike in the crowd, so lots of challenges ahead. I need to decide what my philosophy(ies) about weight management are going to be for the trip, splurge a bit, hard line, a bit of both perhaps, so I can plan accordingly.
On to personals...
Bill I think Pilates is a great class for you to take. And then make them give you lunges for homework, LOL! I'd like to get a big heavy dumbbell with
Ho-Hum stamped on it!
davidette Bike shoes sound like fun. Let us know how An Apple A Day: The Myths, Misconceptions And Truths About The Foods We Eat is. Looked interesting.
Robin I did indeed get your PM. Ocotillos were (and still are) used for fencing before barbed wire. Nothing here is good for falling into. EVERYTHING has thorns and spikes. Even the animals.
Athena I'll PM you with the Garmin trick after posting. Sorry to hear about the divorce negotiations. Sounds like you need a good hard bike ride to help with the sleep and stress.
I don't know what to say about divorce in general other than . I know we put a lot of personal stuff out here, but this is a weight loss forum, and there are certainly things I don't share here, because 1) it isn't the primary focus, 2) some things just aren't relevant to weight loss, and 3) believe it or not, there are some things I don't enjoy discussing. I guess I'm trying to get at the fact that I think your boundaries (and all of ours) need to be respected here, and nobody should feel like they "should" talk about something they'd rather keep private.
Kim I'm so glad you came to post. I think you really need to make sure you give yourself lots of credit for small steps when things get difficult. I'm glad you are talking about your issues with your therapist, too, since we can support you, but you also need more specific help. Do what you can to get some sleep, including prescription medication if warranted. It really does help.
Tera Cheese is a toughie. I use less when I can, and use stronger tasting cheeses, extra sharp cheddar, fresh parmesan to help convince myself it is there. I'm not really found of the reduced fat stuff, so I try to go high quality, low quantity. I've discovered Manchebo in the last year, which is SOO good, but have only found it at Costco (without driving all over town) and well it comes in Costco-sized portions. Hurray for smilies!
Chris Hope you get a relatively quick date for the surgery so you can get this issue put behind you!
Garmin stuff, coming up.
Anne
Last edited by AnneWonders; 04-08-2009 at 10:18 PM.
Reason: What's an apostrophe between friends...
Beck – WI-down .75 lbs. Food – offplan. I have skipped eating a couple of things I had planned even when hungry today. I don’t know if I was being rebellious or just lazy. (“But I don’t WANNA make greek salad!”) I don’t suppose it matters. Oh well… I'd feel a lot worse if I had eaten more than I had planned.
Exercise – onplan. I woke up feeling good this AM, so I did my planned 45 minutes. I wasn’t super spunky today, but I felt okay. So I’m pretty sure I dodged the fatigue bullet this time.
Anne Loved your pics! Thanks for sending them my way. I’ve never been to your part of Arizona – just to the Grand Canyon and Flagstaff… But it is a beautiful place. My MIL used to live in McAllen TX, the plants, coloring and architecture kind of remind me of what I’d see there. I *love* prickly pears. Do you have Spanish Moss? I’m glad DD did well with the nanny. Credit for being op with food. When you can’t exercise, it’s seems like the weight tends to creep up, don’t you think? So, in a day or two, it will be back down.
Today – I see you rode your bike today -- too bad about the firedrills with DD, DS and work…
Bill Credit for paying for a trainer; it seems to have jumpstarted you. And more credit for following through with a Pilates class. Now I envy your ability to do Pilates, in addition to the elliptical. You are way ahead of me in terms of exercise, but I’ll catch up some day! And credit for hohum eating.
davidette for hohum eating out – I know that’s something I do fairly well too. Company coming to the house for the weekend – I’m not so good at. I have company coming for the weekend and I need to set aside time to plan for how to stay on plan when I know my rebellious fat-chick will be ready to party! About the ironing – after 30 minutes of ironing per panel (and with 9 more panels to go (!!)), I went to amazon and bought a garment steamer today. I’ve been wanting one for years. Since I have curtains that are either silk or linen, it seems this is the time to break down and buy one… I like the idea of a bike show reward. (I had no idea there were special shoes for biking!) Re the value of exercise to keep you op with food – I’ve noticed it too. Weird, huh?
Robin
] athenawithheart Credit for the wise food choices! And congrats for the WW 10% award!
Kim I’m glad you posted. As I saw someone else say, by posting you are doing something. I’m glad you are seeing a therapist today – and hope you two can come up with a plan for you. In any case, keep posting here!
Tera Credit for all your op success. (but now I’m afraid that the Xs from earlier in the week didn’t indicate success? If so, I’ve been congratulating you in error. – oh well…) I’m sorry to see your pain was a bit worse today. But soothing with mint tea is a great idea. It’s good for your mood and for your digestion. Kudos for the drop in body fat! Perhaps cheese can be a treat you can eat a little less frequently? Would yogurt be a reasonable alternative, some of the time? For me, I love the creamy mouth-feel of cheese, in addition to the delectable saturated fat. (No-no! I mean that unhealthy disgusting saturated fat! ) So when trying to think of alternatives, I focus foods that will give me the mouth-feel I crave, without the sat-fat...
angelmomma little old you! I’ll be thinking of you on the 20th.
I've had a great couple of days. I had some treats, but was able to fit them into my plan. Credit for staying on plan and getting some walking done. It's surprising how much my advantage/response cards are helping. The other thing that has helped big time is practicing being hungry. It's really not that bad. I'm finding so much power in being in control. This is the first time I've felt in control in a long time.
This is such an active group. I'm having trouble keeping up!
Athenawithheart I understand wanting to keep certain things private. I watch what subjects I get into on these kinds of forums. It can escalate pretty fast into something that I don't want to be a part of. When my mom died, I had a lot of trouble sleeping. I downloaded some meditation podcasts. They really helped me fall asleep and get my mind off of things. I liked Meditation station by Stin. I think she has a soothing voice. There's one that's especially for sleeping.
My sympathies for anyone going through a divorce. That's hard to go through.
ChinaMaine: Credit for the exercise. Even when I really don't feel like it, I usually feel better after exercising. (usually)
Anne: I read Our Lady of Weightloss a few months ago. I really enjoyed the art aspect of it. I never made anything from the book, but I enjoyed it.
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Walked to Whole Foods to buy my favorite peanut butter. CREDIT moi and CREDIT moi. It is totally unacceptable to face the weekend and be completely out of fresh ground peanut butter. I suppose, in a pinch, I could eat the stuff in a jar that DW likes; but I'm hooked on the texture and the mental image of the stuff that I personally grind. (OK, all I do is flip the switch and catch the stuff, LOL.)
Have three scheduled events at the same time today; two meetings at work - neither can be missed - and my Pilates class at the gym. Something's gotta give. Ouch.
Robin (RobinW) - LOL at, "It works when we use it." Yep, widely applicable thought there.
Anne (wndranne) - Ouch for the alignment of all the stressful stuff. Kudos for biking through it.
Don't you need to do a carb load the night before a marathon? It's hard to believe that one can overeat when running that far. Hoping some sort of rendezvous is possible.
LOL at lunges for homework. During my last trainer session, he had me doing lunges backwards. Now that's a challenge. Shouldn't think it would be any more difficult but the novelty got me so confused I'd forget which foot to step backwards with next. Always amazes me that such slight differences tweak different muscles.
Tera (twilit tera) - Yep, that ubiquitous cheese can catch up on us. Kudos for strategizing responses.
Chris (angelmomma210) - Yay that "just little old me" has an appointment date. One step at a time.
davidette - Ho hum, ho hum, ho hum, ho hum, ho hum, ho hum. It's got a nice ring to it. Kudos for blaze eating. You're getting yourself well prepared for four days of buffets.
ChinaMaine - Good news avoiding the "fatigue bullet." And Kudos for that 45 minutes of exercise. LOL that you keep your two year old self handy for “But I don’t WANNA make greek salad!”
Wendy (Wendyland) - Yay for using your power of being in control by knowing that you can stand down hunger. Yep, that exercise is a game changer.
Kim (bennyhannamama) - Ouch for "struggling." Yep, when we're feeling fragile it's possible to trip over an everyday thing like a working Sensewear. Sending supportive thoughts for finding the energy to keep posting here; it helps.
Athenawithheart - Congrats on the 10% WW award - neat milestone.
Ouch for the bumpy road in divorce negotiations. Sending you supportive thoughts for getting through those. Count me in that group of folks who respect boundaries on an Internet forum.
Readers -
Quote:
Success Skill 6 experiment 6 Prove that you don't need to eat when you're upset.
...
The good news is that emotionial eating isn't inate; it's actually a learned behavior, which means that you can learn to overcome it.
... The Complete Beck Diet for Life, pg 87
Great weight day....my weight has been dropping so nicely, it's hard to believe the number on the scale. Don't think I've been this low since after my divorce, and that was....over 20 years ago. It's funny, when I look at the scale and see the new numbers, you would think I would get excited, feel more emotion, but instead, I'm pleased but don't feel the thrill I thought I would each time it went down. Its just a gauge. The clothing changes are more tangible, I guess, and I have my tight pants i use as a gauge that are still tight, tho' I can zip them if I hold in my stomach.
Yesterday was a disastrous day due to car problems, having to cancel classes, spending day/evening at car service place, only positive thing was it prevented me going to a Passover seder which, no matter how careful I had been, would have been a gazillion calories of food plus a late night. I had had it all planned out on how to eat, and will use that plan when I go visit my folks next month. As it was, when I got home from car repair, ate, took a shower and went to bed. And today a new weight low!
Re question: To get icons, you need to post not a quick message but go advanced message, then you will see the icons to the side of your message box.
Bill, glad you have discovered Pilates; it is doing wonders for my back problems, and has helped a lot of my clients. And it feels so good when you conquer a new exercise.
Athena, divorce is painful, and hard to get through, no matter who initiating party is. Lots of caring thoughts heading your way.
Kim, hope you are being kind to yourself during this stressful time, try to find something, or things, that are positive right now to help you get through the difficult times. Walks? Nature? Friends?
Anne, still enjoying the SetPoint book. Lots of good suggestions and overall advice. Thank you. Nice that the endorphines from the exercise got you through a difficult day.
Angelmomma, good luck with getting the date. It will be great when you can put this time behind you.
Jeanie, nice to hear you so positive about life. Being in retirement, I know how having the free time can "free" you to move forward.
Food Supplements Anti-Inflammatories
Ultrasound x2 3FC
Electronics Bed
Pain 0/4/7
WI: -1lb/-0.1% BF
Fell off the wagon yesterday - had scotch and beef jerky for dinner.
Credit: counting everything, including the scotch. waking up today and trying again.
Things that are weighing on me:
Two years ago I volunteered to head the decorations for the next Chapa family reunion. I had a great idea of getting together copies photos of those who'd past away, going back as many generations as we could, printing, laminating and hanging them in the hall.
I haven't gotten up the nerve to call relatives (by marriage) that I barely know and ask them to send me pictures - partly because I doubt I'll even be attending. It would require a road trip of several hours, for a day of having nothing but hard benches and folding chairs to sit on, when I can't stand for more than 30 minutes or sit up for more than 10. B is going to call his mom tonight and help me ask her to help with everything - I can still print and laminate, then mail to her, if she'll help me gather photos and do the legwork at the site.
Mom suggested calling Metrocrest Social Services to see if they can help me get a second opinion/proper treatment or procedure on the hip. I haven't yet, because I don't see "operations" on their list of services on the website, and B and I are just above the usual income level for assistance anyway. Still, from what I see on their site, they actually assign a case worker to help establish goals and identify what types of assistance are available, with referals to medical and legal help... so maybe it's worth a shot.
Most of the time, when I let myself think about things, I just want to cry... so I avoid thinking about them. I hide in my Oblivion game (so aptly named) and my homework assignments.
Anyway, yesterday I just snapped. I asked B to bring home a bottle of scotch. And for a while I was sufficiently numbed, both physically and mentally. Today I still feel despondent, but at least the tension is a little better... I don't feel any temptation to binge on food or alcohol, and even would have gone to the pool today if my hip weren't hurting and my tummy queezy.
Sorry, folks. I guess today's my turn to whinge.
Athenawithheart: congrats on the 10% goal!
Chris: Keep hanging in there. Not long now.
Anne: I do love your reading list. Were you one of those kids who read by flashlight after bedtime? I sure was.
for going the extra distance on the bike! Hopefully things will calm down soon at work and home... just in time for your Boston trip, right?
ChinaMaine: The X's did indicate success. I changed to smilies to stop confusing Anne (and because I like smilies) . You crack me up with your delectable saturated fat. I'm not sure what will satisfy me like cheese - part of it is just the taste, especially mozzerella and cheddar, and part of it is the gooeness (i love it just barely melted). What else does that stretchy chewy thing?
for weight drop and OP exercise.
Wendy: for staying OP and walking. especially for using your CBT strategies!
Yes, we are an active group. So active that I don't post anywhere else on 3FC any more. I spend about one hour on this thread, between my report and personals, once a day. It's the only way I could do it.
Bill: for getting your switch-flippin' peanut butter! Better for you than most "stuff in the jar" peanut butters out there.
Yikes on an overscheduled day!
Susan: for dropping scale numbers and bigger for a reasonable response. Getting super excited about it would probably mean also getting super depressed if it went the other way... it's just the scale.
Bummer about the car trouble, but for looking for the bright moments.
Morning all! Just a quick note here because I'm busy, busy, busy.
My weight was up 0.5 pounds this morning to 183.5, but I bet'll be back down tomorrow. BUT, I am going out with my new roommate tonight, so my plan is to limit myself to one beverage.
I am REEEAAAALLLLY looking forward to this long weekend. I hope to get some nice bike rides and swims in. Tomorrow I want to get in a ride before it rains, and then Saturday morning I'm going to try to swim with the master's group for only the second time ever. I'm slower than they are, so I never get a rest unless I skip some of the swims (which I eventually have to do). But they are super nice.
That is part of my new motto of trying new things despite being scared of rejection and attempts to make friends.
Speaking of friends, turns out my kickball team is mostly all single women who were hoping to meet men! Oh, well, we'll have fun.
Sunday we'll have a feast at my grandmother's, and I hope to escape for a relaxing walk at some point to help deal with cravings for junk food. I plan to bring yummy fruit for myself, and allow a couple pieces of plain old chocolate if I want them. But NO soda.
Forgot the other big plan for the weekend is to do a little shopping. I need to buy makeup, for one thing. Now that I'm getting thinner AND getting divorced, I really need to start caring a little bit more about my appearance. (I did have makeup, but I never wore it and now unfortunately it's stuck in the house and I'd rather not go get it.)
Got into work early again this morning. White board updated, coffee made, and Im ready to get to work!
Something for myself to take note of. Hubby and I started a new vitamin 2 days ago. It is a time release type vitamin.....for 2 days, my cravings have been substantially reduced!!! Is there something to it? I dont know, but I realized it this morning. (yah, sometimes it takes me a while to catch up)
Kim~ I hope all goes well with your mediator. Smooth, uncomplicated divorces are so rare. Mine was, but that was all my doing. (a whole other topic) Anyway, I'll be thinking of you.
Anne~ I love your 5lb goal books! I'll just say I was glad I didnt know about the snakes when I went to arizona 9 yrs ago! We went in february, so there wasnt really anything in bloom. But it was blissfully warm I loved it. My fav place we visited was Flagstaff. Flagstaff eco system, looks so much like "back home" to me, in northern ontario. (minus all the lakes) I had alot of trouble with the altitude tho.
ChinaMaine~ for dodging the fatigue bullet!!
wendyland~ keeping up some days is just futile I do my best.
Bill~I havent had fresh ground PB in years!! Im going to have to have a look around here to see if I can find it. I had forgotten all about it.
So, what gave?
jiving~ for your weightloss this morning!! Kudos!
Tera~
Im off....before hubby comes out and comments on my not working on what is planned for the day
Have a drs. appt. on April 20th...hopefully will have the date for the surgery then. Pulling out my book because I have been trying to clean the house and just do a little at a time. Not much new here...just little old me.
If it is not too personal, what type of surgery are you having?
twilit tera: Hang in there, hun. That sounds like so much to deal with all at once. I hope your family will step up to help you. I also hope you can find a way to get the medical help you need. I'll be thinking about you.
jivingandthriving: Yippee for new low weights! Isn't it fun?
wndranne: Sounds like you are busy, busy! Way to get the workouts in, despite it all. I hope the issues with the kiddos settle down so you can get more training in. After the 5K program, are you going to start another running program?
wanted to drop a line that the interview went really well. so well, in fact, that they called my former company before i made it out of the parking lot and want me to start soon. so i'm rehired, basically. i'm trying to get my head around it. great news, really. with our mortgage and debt situation, and the fact that i've got a long and positive relationship with this place, i guess i thought i'd feel more, i dunno, relieved maybe? i guess unemployment was growing on me (though maybe two weeks isn't long enough to really gauge.) it's been so fantastic having this time. sleeping better, feeling better than i have in a while, and the idea of going back to the grind is kind of unsettling. actually this whole experience has been unsettling. lots to process.
i can't do things like i was doing them before, to be sure. will have to work on balance. maybe i ought to think about what i really want to be doing now that i have the luxury of doing it while getting a regular paycheck. this was clearly a wake-up call that i need to consider. am a little concerned that i'll slip right back into stressed out, exhausted tolerance of the way i was living two weeks ago. maybe not, though. the worst part of it was worrying about losing my job, and that no longer holds any fear for me. so.
hm.
oh yes...on the beck front, this morning i was running errands, feeling good about having a choice in my future, when all of a sudden, i thought, cheeseburger! and fries! wendy's or burger king? that sounds great! - but decided when i got home that while i was craving red meat (iron maybe?) i could do better. dug an old bistro pot roast meal out of the chest freezer and ate that instead of fast food drive-thru. weird craving to come out now, huh? credit moi.
off for a long run while the sun shines!
Last edited by kuhljeanie; 04-09-2009 at 12:32 PM.
. I know we put a lot of personal stuff out here, but this is a weight loss forum, and there are certainly things I don't share here, because 1) it isn't the primary focus, 2) some things just aren't relevant to weight loss, and 3) believe it or not, there are some things I don't enjoy discussing. I guess I'm trying to get at the fact that I think your boundaries (and all of ours) need to be respected here, and nobody should feel like they "should" talk about something they'd rather keep private. 
Wednesday Hump Day
for hohum eating out – I know that’s something I do fairly well too. Company coming to the house for the weekend – I’m not so good at. 
I have company coming for the weekend and I need to set aside time to plan for how to stay on plan when I know my rebellious fat-chick will be ready to party! About the ironing – after 30 minutes of ironing per panel (and with 9 more panels to go (!!)), I went to amazon and bought a garment steamer today. I’ve been wanting one for years. Since I have curtains that are either silk or linen, it seems this is the time to break down and buy one… I like the idea of a bike show reward. (I had no idea there were special shoes for biking!) Re the value of exercise to keep you op with food – I’ve noticed it too. Weird, huh?
But soothing with mint tea is a great idea. It’s good for your mood and for your digestion. Kudos for the drop in body fat! Perhaps cheese can be a treat you can eat a little less frequently? Would yogurt be a reasonable alternative, some of the time? For me, I love the creamy mouth-feel of cheese, in addition to the delectable saturated fat. (No-no! I mean that unhealthy disgusting saturated fat! 
Thursday
was it prevented me going to a Passover seder which, no matter how careful I had been, would have been a gazillion calories of food plus a late night. I had had it all planned out on how to eat, and will use that plan when I go visit my folks next month. As it was, when I got home from car repair, ate, took a shower and went to bed. And today a new weight low
I'm not sure what will satisfy me like cheese - part of it is just the taste, especially mozzerella and cheddar, and part of it is the gooeness (i love it just barely melted). What else does that stretchy chewy thing?
for dodging the fatigue bullet!! 
