Hey there, and
You say that you gain it all back - what you don't mention is how you're losing it in the first place. In my experience, to make weight loss stick, you need to make changes that you can stick with. That means embracing health, fueling yourself, and changing the way you eat and move for good. That's an outlook that most of the people in our Living Maintenance forum (for those maintaining at goal weight) share...that these changes are forever, but that's OK because they're ENJOYABLE.
So, what changes can you make to be a healthier, happier you?
Anyway, look around, jump in, and find a spot. Can't wait to get to know you better!