[esabelar]

I have always read stories about people like me. They know that they are gaining weight, yet they choose denial. Scales are walked past, not on. This is exactly what I have done. I have nothing to blame. Lots of stuff going on in my life - mainly, my father's passing about 15 months ago. But I don't think that is what kept me eating and pretending that it was going to be okay.

I have never been thin, but I have never been very overweight before. Now, I weigh 20 pounds more than I have ever in my life - including my three pregnancies. I have a closet full of clothes and only one pair of pants that really fit. For the first time in my life, my jackets are too small. I've had tight clothes before, but never a jacket that I couldn't zipper.

I just spent 5 glorious days on vacation with my husband and 3 sons. I refused to put a bathing suit on and join them in the elation that they shared jumping the waves. I'm embarrassed for them and for me. I hate this feeling and I have to make a change or I'm going to be miserable. And a miserable me is not a fun me to live with.

[midwife]

Welcome to 3FC!
My condolences on the loss of your father.

I think a lot of us have hit a low point that spurs change. You CAN do this. You control your weight loss future. Stick around!

[aliquot]

I don't have kids or anything, and my bet is that I am a lot younger than you. But I know how you feel. My father passed away a little over 5 months ago. I don't know how your dad was, but I know my dad is proud of me for starting this weight loss journey. He'd want me to be healthy.

So welcome, and I hope you stick around.

[esabelar]

....so much for the warm welcome. aliquot, i am so sorry about your father, also. You are right...they would be proud of us for pushing through and becoming healthier....and - at least for me - healthier.

I do plan on being around for my journey and then some. The feelings of so many on this web site are incredibly uplifting. And it's nice to not have to go it alone.

Best,
Ellen

[jigglefree]

Looking forward to getting to know you. We are all on our own individual journey but we are doing it together. I've been on 3FC since Jan 3 this year and have been making great progress thanks to everyone on this site. There is encouragement, support, compassion, and information available so surf the site and join in.

[Deena52]

Hi esabelar and welcome.

I also ended up 20 lbs. more than I was at 9 months with any of my pregnancies....and I never imagined that I could possibly weigh that much. I've also not been overweight most of my life but have had to work hard to maintain that. I gained the weight from a medication I was put on back in 2005. And believe me....for anyone experiencing major weight gain and decrease in metabolism on a particular medication...get off of it and find an alternative. I should have gotten off of it MUCH earlier than I did and now regret that.

I can also totally relate to the steady decline of going to social events, etc...due to being overweight. I used to absolutely dread having to attend a wedding, etc. that I could NOT get out of...usually due to it being family. Just for starters, I'd have to go shopping for something to wear....look for my usual tent-wear appropriate for weddings, etc (dressy clothes made by Omar the tent-maker) and getting upset that all the great-looking stuff is in smaller sizes....get totally depressed and disgusted looking in the dressing room mirror and just start off depressed and discouraged. When you look good in a dressing room mirror, you know you've hit the jackpot. Then came the actual event where I wore an outfit I totally detested.....and tried my best to avoid all photos....or at the very least, hide in the back and only show my head.

And not to mention, family events, like holiday dinners, reunions, etc. What a major bummer to show up yet again, still overweight. And you know how women are....all the sisters and sisters-in-law are glancing at you sidelong and you KNOW they are comparing and noting who's bigger and who lost weight.
It's just a really depressing state of affairs.

Oh....and not to mention showing up at school functions for your children and worried you're embarrassing them. That's always great for totally bumming you out....especially when there are some nice svelt moms there.

I'll tell you one big thing I am so thrilled to wave bye-bye to....and that's the incessant yanking down of my tops/shirts. I didn't realize how much I did that until I saw Oprah doing it when she'd get heavy again....and then noticed how many did it too. It is beyond lovely to not be doing that anymore.

You can totally do this. You really don't have all that much weight to lose....even though it's all relative, really. Though I had much less to lose than many here, for me it was just disastrous and HAD to be remedied. This site is just a huge help, not only due to all the support, but for holding you accountable and for providing all sorts of information on every diet plan imaginable.

deena

[esabelar]

Thanks, you guys. It is absolutely amazing to meet people who have taken a similar journey as you...and are embarking (or have already embarked) on turning the corner together!

Deena52 - you have summed up my life for the past while so perfectly. I am so looking forward to thinking about all of the good things in life, and not worrying about all of my insecurities caused by excess weight. My husband is amazed and thrilled with me, because I have already seemed to have turned the corner - in my psyche. I am starting to more and more see the positives and enjoy life as much as I can in the moment. I believe that this will help me to overcome any struggle with weight loss...and maintenance. And it is amazing how my positiveness has rubbed off on my kids - 3 boys ages 7,9 and 11. That in itself is truly a precious gift.

Looking forward to continuing this great group support. What a wonderful forum!

[SkinnyK10]

Welcome! You can do it. One day at a time. Looking forward to hearing about your success!

[Mariella]

Welcome from another newb! I can relate to so much of what you wrote. You have made some good first steps and yes, this forum is a great place to be!

[leeway]

Hi Ellen!
So many here can relate having been there (or are now) and how felt those same feelings of being overwhelmed and removed from life (also grief can play out in unexpected ways in its own time) - but it sounds like you're ready to get it done, not only for you but for your lovely family - the support you need is here - we'll all be here to cheer you on.

Glad to have you join us! There are lots & lots of different groups and forums - I'm sure you'll find some that will keep you motivated and inspired - you'll be a wonderful addition to any of them. Try the weight loss support forums, they're active and very helpful - also the Success stories are a definite must for motivation.

There are bunches of people here with more to lose and some with less - the bottom line is that we all have to do it a day at a time. The good thing is that we'll have lots of company along the way.

I've only been here since last fall, having NEVER been part of an online forum. What has been so eye-opening is how much it has helped me. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or defeated, I just log on and read some of the success stories, complete with their before & after photos - or read about others still dealing day to day with their challenges - and before I know it, the time has flown by and so have all the thoughts of going off track or giving up. It has made all the difference in my success so far.

So welcome - you've found the right place - join in by inspiring us and being inspired!

All the best - good luck with your goals,
Lee

[esabelar]

Thanks, Lee. I most definitely will!