I was debating even to post this thread because I am so ashamed of myself. I have been 100% OP for the past 6 weeks- down 26 lbs. What did I do today? My old demons came back and my food addition behaviors surfaced. It started at lunch when I went out to eat with my mom and daughter. I ended up eating a few bites of the soft pretzel. Then I came home and lost it. Ate about 3 tootsie rolls and 6 kisses, along with 2 spoonfuls of peanut butter. I felt like something uncontrollable came over me. When, knowing the full time, what I was doing would screw me up. WTH???? Now I feel like crap, my stomach hurts, feel nauseous, and I have a headache. Totally deserve it.
I hate not feeling in control. This whole time on IP I have felt in control- I have even stayed away from temptations. It is TOM this week and it has been the worst that it has ever been since I had my son 10 months ago.
I made a bad decision. Now, I am going to jump back on the horse and move forward. I suppose I am just so disappointed in myself for giving in so easily and losing control. That is what is so hard. I have a way to go still and I know we are human. But, I was hoping that those behaviors were behind me. Maybe not. Something I will struggle with for a while, I believe.
Okay, I feel better now that I have admitted this to the board today. I come here for support and I will continue to do so. And, I am going to not sabotage my entire evening and get back to staying on plan. Thanks for reading.
Weeks 5-7 were really tough on me. Cravings were the strongest and I was least interested in the program. Was having trouble coming up with ideas for things to eat. I think it could be a could a phase so these are just theories.
1. PMS cravings are powerful. Insane. My hunger was out of control and sometimes after I had my evening snack I wanted another one, another sweet one. I was drinking MIO all the time. And I put big squirts in my water bottle. I like it sweeeeeeeeeeeet. It all got better once TOM came last week so I am not sure if that was it but it certainly felt like I had gone back. It was harder for me to be in stores and around food and sometimes watching commercials were hard. These were all starting behaviors and I could not figure out why they had returned, seemingly stronger. So, I need to watch next TOM.
2. I remember noticing that when people dropped the program it seemed to be around between like weeks 5-7. They seemed to be doing well or they stalled or gave in or something. The last few weeks that were so challenging seemed like a test to me. Once TOM came, it just stopped and hunger was back to normal and so were other things.
I don't know if any of this is helpful but it sounds like you answered a lot of your concerns. You know the drill. Tomorrow is a new day. But, remember how crappy you feel now. It might help in the future. Hang in there. You have done really well so far. You may wish to stay away from the scale this week.
Weeks 5-7 were really tough on me. Cravings were the strongest and I was least interested in the program. Was having trouble coming up with ideas for things to eat. I think it could be a could a phase so these are just theories.
1. PMS cravings are powerful. Insane. My hunger was out of control and sometimes after I had my evening snack I wanted another one, another sweet one. I was drinking MIO all the time. And I put big squirts in my water bottle. I like it sweeeeeeeeeeeet. It all got better once TOM came last week so I am not sure if that was it but it certainly felt like I had gone back. It was harder for me to be in stores and around food and sometimes watching commercials were hard. These were all starting behaviors and I could not figure out why they had returned, seemingly stronger. So, I need to watch next TOM.
2. I remember noticing that when people dropped the program it seemed to be around between like weeks 5-7. They seemed to be doing well or they stalled or gave in or something. The last few weeks that were so challenging seemed like a test to me. Once TOM came, it just stopped and hunger was back to normal and so were other things.
I don't know if any of this is helpful but it sounds like you answered a lot of your concerns. You know the drill. Tomorrow is a new day. But, remember how crappy you feel now. It might help in the future. Hang in there. You have done really well so far. You may wish to stay away from the scale this week.
Yes, your response is definitely helpful! I know that I ultimately made the choice to eat those awful foods but I know that TOM had an influence on that choice. My cycles have always been off due to PCOS and if I even get a TOM, it lasts for 1 day. So far this week, it has been 4! Sorry for the TMI. But, I noticed that my cravings were crazy, and I felt extremely hungry yesterday for no reason. I made it through yesterday but then today had the issue. I appreciate your thoughts and thank you for sharing. I am not going to give up!! I am in it for the long haul.
If you look on the bright side, how many additional calories did you eat? Probably 500? While it is tough to feel like you have lost control, remember that you have been in control for a very long time and have lost 26 pounds.
Take control again, get back on your plan immediately, and put this behind you. Take an hour long brisk walk and you will have mitigated the damage.
Look at the big picture and realize how well you have done, because you have. No need to feel ashamed.
If you look on the bright side, how many additional calories did you eat? Probably 500? While it is tough to feel like you have lost control, remember that you have been in control for a very long time and have lost 26 pounds.
Take control again, get back on your plan immediately, and put this behind you. Take an hour long brisk walk and you will have mitigated the damage.
Look at the big picture and realize how well you have done, because you have. No need to feel ashamed.
Thank you for your response. You put some things in perspective for me. I agree- I shouldn't feel ashamed but unfortunately, that ties into some old thoughts and behaviors I need to get away from. I need to look at the big picture and be proud of what I have accomplished so far, and move forward.
Don't delay getting OP. Do it now! It isn't as bad as it seems, but if you keep being off program thru tomorrow that is when it will be a problem.
Agreed! I have been drinking my water all afternoon and planning my OP dinner for tonight. I cut up all my veggies for my lunches this week. Thank you!
Great advice from the other posters. We always have two choices. Our old self loathing selves can beat us up and set us up for disaster. Our new powerful selves (you know, the one that loves you as you are and made all the right decisions for 6weeks) can allow us to lovingly forgive ourselves, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and hop back in the saddle. Not tomorrow or even later today, but right now. You are beautiful and worth it!!!!
I think that something positive can come from a cheat like this. We can discover that eating right makes us feel so much better than eating crap. We realize that the way to REALLY be good to ourselves, mentally and physically, is to eat right. I personally feel that an expectation that we will never, ever, make a mistake is ridiculous. We are human beings, not God. We are NOT 100% perfect. A cheat can be a real opportunity to learn if we step back, FORGIVE ourselves, then really examine what happened, what the triggers were, and formulate a way to LOVE YOURSELF THROUGH the next time it happens. Be kind and good to yourself, not by indulging, but by recognizing what it is that REALLY makes you happy! You are worth the very best!
We all have food issues otherwise we wouldn't be here. Some of us can go a long time without "cheating" or not cheating at all. It all depends on ourselves, we tell the newbies that cheating is bad and not to do it. We all have to learn ourselves how to deal with our issues. It is an ongoing process and I am still learning about myself No one ever said it was going to be easy. It isn't and the further you go on this program you have to learn more and more about yourself and what your triggers are and how to deal with them.
That said, you just get back OP as soon as possible and drink lots of water. Remove temptation from your house... that is the best and sure way. Move on and keep up the good work 26 lbs is a lot of weight and one slip you will eventually feel it, but one lesson learned.
Have a great evening and don't beat yourself up so much.
Forgive yourself and move on. If you can, remove the tempting items from your house. Even if it means throwing food away. Get it out of the house and don't invite it back in.
Great advice from the other posters. We always have two choices. Our old self loathing selves can beat us up and set us up for disaster. Our new powerful selves (you know, the one that loves you as you are and made all the right decisions for 6weeks) can allow us to lovingly forgive ourselves, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and hop back in the saddle. Not tomorrow or even later today, but right now. You are beautiful and worth it!!!!
We all have food issues otherwise we wouldn't be here. Some of us can go a long time without "cheating" or not cheating at all. It all depends on ourselves, we tell the newbies that cheating is bad and not to do it. We all have to learn ourselves how to deal with our issues. It is an ongoing process and I am still learning about myself No one ever said it was going to be easy. It isn't and the further you go on this program you have to learn more and more about yourself and what your triggers are and how to deal with them.
That said, you just get back OP as soon as possible and drink lots of water. Remove temptation from your house... that is the best and sure way. Move on and keep up the good work 26 lbs is a lot of weight and one slip you will eventually feel it, but one lesson learned.
Have a great evening and don't beat yourself up so much.
Thank you so much for your insight! I removed the kisses from the house- threw them in the dumpster outside. You have a great evening too!
I feel awful- confession
came back and my food addition behaviors surfaced. It started at lunch when I went out to eat with my mom and daughter. I ended up eating a few bites of the soft pretzel. Then I came home and lost it. Ate about 3 tootsie rolls and 6 kisses, along with 2 spoonfuls of peanut butter. I felt like something uncontrollable came over me. 
When, knowing the full time, what I was doing would screw me up. WTH???? Now I feel like crap, my stomach hurts, feel nauseous, and I have a headache. Totally deserve it. 
You are worth the very best! 
