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I've offended someone here

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Old 11-25-2006, 09:41 AM   #1
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Default I've offended someone here

And it hurts my heart. But it's my own fault cuz I 'think' it had to do with following someone around on the boards to see what else they're up to. Which I like to do and I encourage others to do.
I'm guessing cuz there certainly was nothing wrong with my post in the thread where the poster took offence.
I'm truly sorry that I caused any pain or discomfort. I hope those of you who know me a bit, know that I never intend that ... never at all.
Anyway ... enough about me. This is what I'm really after ....

How do you know you are being diss'd in a thread? Tone? wording? poster history? what?

Do you respond?

What's the difference between diss and sturdy correction? Would either one offend you?

Have you ever typed a long angry post but deleted instead of posting?
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Old 11-25-2006, 10:03 AM   #2
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Susan: I've written many angry posts and then once I've typed it, I feel better, then delete it. I also got LAMBASTED by a poster on a writing forum I belonged to due to a political comment I made. I literally started crying and then thought, "Hey, I don't even, literally, know this person in real life...why am I letting it get under my skin so badly?" Plus, the downfall of e-mails or forum posting is it's hard to tell the tone of voice in a post or letter, therefore, it's hard to decifer if the person is really being as harsh as we're reading it to be. Know what I mean?

Take it with a grain of salt, Susan. I didn't read the post that got you upset, but know that you've never insulted ME on the boards and if it weren't for you and Gary, I wouldn't have anyone to talk to about HOCKEY!! And Gary doesnt' even LIKE hockey!! Go figure!!

:hugs:
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Old 11-25-2006, 10:15 AM   #3
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hey Tech! It's Not That I Don't Like Hockey Really ~ But Have You Noticed Their "fans"

Ps ~ The Pond The Ducks Play In Has Been Changed To The Honda Center ~ Guess Those Japanese Must Really Love The Sport :d

Pss ~ I Am Taking The Jags In The Pool This Week ~ Peyton Should Have An Easy One...hope-hope
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Old 11-25-2006, 10:51 AM   #4
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DISS'D IN A THREAD? WHO ME?

I LOVE EVERYBODY HERE! THERE ARE THOSE THAT LOVE ME TOO...'cause they tell me...and those that CAN'T STAND ME....'cause they tell me. That's what makes life so much fun!!!!! and not boring!

Plenty of us you Susan...if you want to apologize for un-intentionally hurting someone, go ahead, then move on!!
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Old 11-25-2006, 12:18 PM   #5
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Quote:
But it's my own fault cuz I 'think' it had to do with following someone around on the boards to see what else they're up to.
You are more than welcome to follow me around sweetie!

I have been in many forums that were also fighting / flaming forums and it can actually be alot of fun as long as no personal real life info is involved. I do have a bit of a thick skin. There are some online stalkers that I have had who were jealous of my popularity on other boards, (I know it sounds ******ed) and have even had sidebars dedicated to me. Poeple trying to bait me to come argue with them. I am usually the type I will state my case and that is about it. Anything beyond an initial rebuttal is usually just a senseless argument with who can yell louder so I don't get involved. Alot of times these people just want attention and will keep pushing buttons. The best thing you can give an attention whore, is NO ATTENTION! That makes them madder than anything and they hate being ignored. Eventually they drop it and move on.

I even had one stalker who (had a pic of me when I was much thinner and younger ) Anyhow he used me as his myspace profile pic for a year! I could care less. Have at it! He thought it would bug me and get under my skin. He wanted me to send him messages begging him or threatening him to take it off. I never even acknowledged it. I laughed when I saw it. I also think it is pretty funny that he is engaged to a girl yet he has MY PIC up on his myspace! What a freak! Obsessed much?? Anyhow one of my online friends who I have known for years happened to come across it and knew it was me and she is also a moderator at myspace. She called me on the phone from Ohio to tell me and I laughed. I had forgotten all about it! This freak had had this pic on his account for like 2 years! She threatened him with pulling his whole account and he promptly removed it. *snickers*
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Old 11-25-2006, 08:15 PM   #6
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I have thick skin too....but I'm trying to get rid of it...

Just wanted to drop in to say you SUSANB!! I've never seen you say anything that wasn't helpful and supportive. And I'll admit to stalking you because I enjoy reading your posts.
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Old 11-25-2006, 08:31 PM   #7
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I had a quick mental picture of the 3 Stooges a la Inspector Clouseau .... me following Gina whose following me whose following Gina ....

My friend would love this thread. She says I'm a semi professional paranoid
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Old 11-25-2006, 09:14 PM   #8
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You can never make everyone happy on any message board. There's ALWAYS going to be someone who gets offended by someone else, no matter how respectful & nice that person seems to be.

Just comes from being in a public area with people from all walks of life, all over the world, all different beliefs. Don't sweat it - you'll be just fine. (and so will they)

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Old 11-25-2006, 10:29 PM   #9
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Just think of how boring life would be if no-one voiced an opinion (even if it was unpopular)! How boring things would be if there wasn't some debate! I don't think you've really "been" here UNLESS you have either been offended or offended someone, especially since I don't think ANYONE here means to be offensive! Cut yourself some slack! All voices should be welcome here if the intention is good...
Glad you are here...
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Old 11-26-2006, 12:05 AM   #10
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When I first came on line, I remember reading somewhere: When you read a post, give the writer the benefit of the doubt. When you write a post, write knowing that everything you say can be misinterpreted.
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Old 11-26-2006, 12:05 AM   #11
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I have very thick skin, too. (I'm not fat, I just have thick skin ) I have probably offended my fair share of people, and I've been offended more than a few times. But I don't think it's always intentional. Online, we don't have the benefit of body language and tone of voice to express ourselves.

I know of one person in particular who offends a LOT of people, but I know she doesn't mean to. She never ever uses emoticons, she just blurts out the words and so they seem harsh. Emoticons are the internets version of body language.

Anyway, I agree with the others - don't worry. Be happy I also think you are always helpful to others, and if someone misunderstands the tone of your posts, then I personally wouldn't worry about it. Life is too short not to move forward.

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Old 11-26-2006, 12:06 AM   #12
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Hi Xan
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Old 11-26-2006, 12:18 AM   #13
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Hi Suzanne! (I remember this board when it was a UBB, and the forums on the Weight Watchers had problems and, it seemed, EVERYONE who posted there discovered these boards all at the same time. Very exciting. !!!!!)

I will stick around this time, I swear it Apologies to Susan B for interrupting your thread.

Last edited by Xan : 11-26-2006 at 12:24 AM.
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Old 11-26-2006, 06:40 AM   #14
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Susan, I will tell you that I don't follow people around the boards, but there are certain forums that I always check in on. Like the Support forum, 100lb club and General Chatter just to mention a few. And I have seen and read your posts many, many times and never not once have I seen anything offensive. You always seem to genuinely care about people and give strong, solid and motherly advice.

You know since I've started this weight loss journey and have started to change my life I have had a huge, almost uncontrollable and overwhelming desire to help others and share what I have learned and in wanting to do that I think I may come off as too pushy or sound too know it all-y. Which horrifies me to think that I may be coming off this way. But I guess that's just the way it is sometimes. And I'm never quite sure just how much info someone is looking for or how much of a push they're looking for when they start a new thread and ask a question. Hopefully for every time I come off harshly or wrong or G-d forbid insensitive or offensive, the other nine times I come off helpful and sincere.

Susan, again please know that I and I think most everyone here knows that your intentions are ALWAYS, ALWAYS sincere, genuine and loving and that your first and foremost of intentions are to help people.
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Old 11-26-2006, 08:53 AM   #15
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Aw ... you all are sooo sweet! Thanks!
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