Why are people more hostile in written form than in life?
I never, ever read comments on anything that are from "big" sites - not on youtube videos, not on Facebook posts like from NPR or George Takei, or the like. People are just openly hostile. They do the same on blogs.
I have a new anonymous poster to my blogs that is openly hostile. First saying that I'm making excuses to not exercise and yesterday commenting on my eating crap food (I had half an IKEA cinnamon roll and enjoyed it) and saying I wouldn't keep the weight off because I ate such things.
It could even be someone from here, but doing so anonymously on the blog.
No one would ever, ever say such things to my face, so why are people so open to doing it elsewhere?
Even last night I was at a meeting and our leader is on sabbatical, so during open mike, several people openly commented negatively about that person when I know they would NEVER do that while our leader was in the room. (and it was not true).
Why do people behave in such ways? I don't get it!
AND... I'm so, so glad that my boss says she NEVER will accept an anonymous letter or anonymous note on any of our performances. Even with the feedback center, it has to be have a point of contact for the person because it's not credible if people can't say it openly.
Last edited by berryblondeboys; 06-08-2015 at 03:02 PM.
Pre-internet, I believed most people were OK. I believed most of our society was past racism, sexism and base hostility. Then I started reading what people think when they believe they won't suffer repercussion from stating it and became one of the most misanthropic people you'll ever meet.
I try to tell myself what I read on the internet is not representative because most people have better things to do than be creeps on the internet. It's not working.
Last edited by Violette_R; 06-08-2015 at 02:50 PM.
People are comfortable doing things with the cover of anonymity. People wore white hoods for a reason. The internet didn't do anything except make it easier to do the things that want without being caught.
Is there a way to block anonymous users on from your blog.
Pre-internet, I believed most people were OK. I believed most of our society was past racism, sexism and base hostility. Then I started reading what people think when they believe they won't suffer repercussion from stating it and became one of the most misanthropic people you'll ever meet.
I try to tell myself what I read on the internet is not representative because most people have better things to do than be creeps on the internet. It's not working.
I don't believe most people were OK. They just never showed their true colors around most people. They were bigots and sexist and so on, but I just cannot imagine ever hiding behind anonymity. While I don't believe the saying, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." But at least sign your name to it!
People are comfortable doing things with the cover of anonymity. People wore white hoods for a reason. The internet didn't do anything except make it easier to do the things that want without being caught.
Is there a way to block anonymous users on from your blog.
Thanks I just did - no more anonymous comments allowed. Didn't even think of that!
I just clicked on your blog to read it, well skim it quickly as my kids only give me moments at a time lol...I agree that eating clean 100% is not sustainable for most people and stressing over it is not healthy. I didn't read read, just skimmed. I try to eat clean most of the time. Sometimes I will maintain 100% clean for days or weeks, and other times I'm around a 90/10 average, and around the holidays more 80/20, I believe as long as my foundation is clean, that clean or whole foods are my primary way of eating in my home, that small variants due to treats at parties, special events or just wanting a cookie are ok.
On the topic of mean people on the internet, I guess I am more pessimistic and believe that many people have always had a dark side, that is just mean. Before the internet it was hidden. But the internet has revealed that more people that we care to acknowledge are mean, cruel and heartless. Not to say that good people dont exist, they most certainly do. But there may be a greater percentage of people that have a self centered nasty streak than we once thought. I also believe that as god begins to be less a promenant figure in society, that people that would have otherwise fought the urge to express those thoughts or perhaps sought council from religious leaders to not behave or think that way, are now freely speaking that way to others since there are a subset of people that are not good through self motivation, but needed an outward accountability to behave and treat others well. I'm speaking as an atheist, so I have no personal stake in pushing god. But I do believe that having a stronger faith can help those that are not good for their own purpose. In other words, I think a lot of people lack the ability to feel good for being good. And they lack feeling bad for being bad to others. Maybe less people that we care to admit can't really empathize, so those people did well with a motivator that was about them getting or gaining something (Ex If I'm good, I go to heaven, so therefore I'm good to get into heaven, not because I care if I'm nice to others or how they feel about my actions...remove the reward of heaven and I don't care how I treat people....KWIM?)....I think the invention of the internet and decrease in the presence of religion aren't related but have happened around the same time, so we are seeing the compounded effects...very nasty people over our computer screens.
Last edited by GlamourGirl827; 06-08-2015 at 05:06 PM.
I don't know why people think it's okay, but I share your frustration with it. Lack of civil discourse, I think, is causing real problems in this country. I try and proofread everything I post, and if I find myself being insulting, I re-write it to not attack a person although I might be disagreeing with something they said. I try to keep it about the topic, and not make it about the person. And I try to keep it polite.
What shocks me is what people will say online, even if they are identified.
My community of 4000 has a Facebook page with over 1000 members. What people say to each other, using their name and image, shocks me. They wouldn't say such things to the person's face, but will write it. And you can't even say it is due to anonymity! I just don't get it.
I've often wondered if it means that there are a lot of nasty people in general or that nasty people are actually a minority of people and that they really like going online to annoy people.
This has nothing to do with the topic but just going through your blog quick... Totally love it! Gonna sit down and ho through some it properly!!! Don't always know ehy people are mean when they can't get caught but you certainly dealt with the comment in an awesome way
There's a certain protection that comes from it. The person isn't actually accountable for what they say, nor responsible for what they do. They can easily leave a discussion if someone makes it clear they were wrong or stepped over a line. That kind of anonymity makes people go sour more often than it makes them kinder.
There's a thought I find quite interesting - that, when people criticize you (and I don't mean constructive criticism, the "they're clearly out to get you and don't want to help at all" criticism), they reveal more about themselves than they do about you. People often pick on their own insecurities. If someone keeps telling you how fat you look, for example, it's likely they're always comparing their own weight to others' and only think so because they're always thinking about that ideal of fitness. So I just ignore openly negative comments that can't help me grow and get over these things, but if you want to point that out to them, I honestly would. You don't even have to lecture them or anything, something as simple as "it seems like you have a lot of complaints, should I write it down so that the boss can actually hear them?" can be enough to make them see the toxicity of their attacks. I would, but that's just me haha I guess it's up to you on how you react to them in real life. But when it comes to online comments, just delete them or find a way to report them if you're using Disqus or another commenting system.
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My thoughts:
A lot of people like drama! That in itself is an addiction. I think they do it to get a reaction and start a fight. I used to read posts on articles from our local newspaper and there was always that person that would criticize a grammar error or something else about the writer, instead of focusing on the topic of the article. Then others would jump in and bash him or join in on his criticism.
I don't have a facebook account, but I have heard stories from "young" people about how others will post a personal issue that is really meant for one person, but everyone else can read it as well. What?
Look at how so many people like all those drama shows like those "The Kardashians" or "Real Housewives". All drama right? I've never watched them but I've seen previews! I'm sure we all know people like that that need drama in their lives! Yuck!
Good for you berryblondeboys for removing the "anonymous comment" option. I've personally had to put someone on my "ignore" list because of comments I felt were rude. They may not be rude to the other person, but the bottom line is if I don't feel safe with someone, I have to set a boundary. I would rather just avoid seeing those posts so I don't get sucked in to the drama!
I think social degradation is one of, if not, the saddest turn of events of the Internet.
It's not only forums and blogs, it's games and anything at all that has a social aspect to it.
A lot of it is for the attention or the satisfaction of the best 'worst' comment. Most of it is from young people I think. (I'm 45 so everyone is young to me ha)
I play online games with people I know are high school students or even younger and there's not a week that goes by where you don't see something appalling in chat.
It really worries me. While they may just be goofing around to start with, soon hate becomes a habit, and all you're left with is a bunch of people terrified to speak at all and a few king trolls at the top that thrive on making others miserable.
I think it's an interesting subject and one that is a continued conversation in a lot of places across the internet. I agree that most people do it because they can get away with it. One thing that you might find interesting is that of all people, Monica Lewinsky did a TED Talk about online bullying and it was amazingly informative, heart felt and eye opening. Just give it a look on you tube and watch it. "Monica Lewinsky The price of shame" It isn't long but she is one brave girl. Like many people, I always thought she was stuck up and after watching she said in the Ted Talk it really changed my perspective of her. She's paying it forward from what she experienced to try and help others now who are suffering from online bullying and my hat's off to her.
Last edited by JenDestiny; 06-09-2015 at 08:59 PM.
Why are people more hostile in written form than in life?
