Jacquie668
thanks for your input. my comments you quoted WERE directed to EZ and "others". not necessarily you. and if you are comfortable with your views?
BRAVO!
lovinlifex2 ?
you are only the 3rd to have been the cheated on. so your view is wonderfully welcome. out of 3 people?
1 said NEVER tell
1 said tell NOW
1 (being you) said you would want to know with no specific time.
still a small sample from someone who has actually experienced it.
but thank you for giving your vote.
Sorry I was unclear - to clarify - I would want to know now. I would want to be able to make an informed decision about all parts of my marriage. If I was cheated on then obvioulsy there is something serious going on that I feel I should be made aware of and able to deal with however I felt was right for me.
Where has anyone said they are applying advice to her they do not apply to themselves. Yes, I will be comfortable facing my higher power [not sure I believe in one, but whatever] and explaining my treatment. It is the same treatment I feel obligated, from my higher power, to apply to my own life.
julie,
exactly my point.
when your higher power says to you?
did you JUDGE this woman?
what will you say?
back to the bible.
what did Jesus say to the stone throwers?
if you are without sin----cast the first stone.
very specifically, my question was "will YOU be comfortable explaing to your higher power your treatment of this woman"?
You've gotten lots of responses to your original question, why keep on asking "new" questions and changing the equation? Are you doing a research paper based on "real life" and we're not supposed to know?
Do the opinions of people who have been cheated on matter more? How do you know who has or hasn't been if they don't specify in their posts? Your posts seem to indicate that the 3 people who have confessed to being cheated on are the only ones that have any merit--all of the rest of us are being judgmental. Why didn't you specify that you only wanted to hear from those who had been cheated on?
I tend to think of women more in terms of "creatures of emotion". I know that I could never just "have sex" with someone for the sake of having sex. For me sex is a very intimate, meaningful thing that I would not want to throw around and do with just anybody.
Maybe I am out of the loop of how women are thinking now a days - or maybe I am just too old fashioned, but it sure scares me if that is the new "norm" in terms of sex.
Really? In the years that you've been married you've NEVER just had sex with your husband? Ever? Every time it was some deep, emotional act?
I'm jealous of you. I can't work up that much care at 4 in the morning.
if you cheat? and it isnt going to cause you to leave me?
i dont want to know.
what then?
still so sure that she should tell?
Good grief, that's not what you asked. That is entirely different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs dorson
and i ask again.....who wants to pin the BIG RED A on her?
step right up. but be sure you are sure.
Good grief, no one has said to do anything to her. I can see why you're so frustrated with this thread, because you think people are saying things they Have. Not. Said. I'll repeat that. You keep talking about people doing something to her - but no one has said that. Can you stop making that straw-man argument, please?
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs dorson
the marriage vows dont include the words "never ever screw up cause if you do-your marriage is null and void"
it says "forsaking all others".
This doesn't make much sense. Adultery is grounds for divorce. It does make the marriage null and void (ignoring semantic issues here, as "null" is not actually true here, as it does have specific meaning in relationship to marriages) if the partner so chooses.
Really? In the years that you've been married you've NEVER just had sex with your husband? Ever? Every time it was some deep, emotional act?
I'm jealous of you. I can't work up that much care at 4 in the morning.
Are you kidding...we have 3 kids and one on the way...all we have time for are quickies while the kids are asleep.
I was more referring to the act outside of the marriage/realtionship based on the topic. Meaning in a cheating type situation with someone you are not already connected and share a bond with (meaning your signifigant other). I can't imagine thinking that it is ok to cheat based on the thought of "sex is just sex" mentality and that it means nothing so it is ok to act upon.
Last edited by lovinlifex2; 10-29-2009 at 02:24 PM.
all opinions matter. i am intrigued that the people who specified they were the cheated on? are far less dogmatic and far less determined that she should tell or her marriage is a lie.
maybe because they have a frame of reference?
and you are correct that i (we) have no way to know if anyone has been the cheated on or the cheated unless they say. which they dont have to.
and no on the paper. i am just being catalytic and exploring all subjects emerging. and i agree on the 4 in the moring sex comment.
can you imagine how exhausted one would be if it was a deep emotional experience every time.
Location: NW New Jersey But, My Heart's In Pittsburgh!! GO STEELERS & PENGUINS!!!
Posts: 3,060
S/C/G: 245/143/145
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovinlifex2
I don't know about that statement....
I tend to think of women more in terms of "creatures of emotion". I know that I could never just "have sex" with someone for the sake of having sex. For me sex is a very intimate, meaningful thing that I would not want to throw around and do with just anybody.
Maybe I am out of the loop of how women are thinking now a days - or maybe I am just too old fashioned, but it sure scares me if that is the new "norm" in terms of sex.
Are you kidding...we have 3 kids and one on the way...all we have time for are quickies while the kids are asleep.
I was more referring to the act outside of the marriage/realtionship based on the topic. Meaning in a cheating type situation with someone you are not already connected and share a bond with (meaning your signifigant other). I can't imagine thinking that it is ok to cheat based on the thought of "sex is just sex" mentality and that it means nothing so it is ok to act upon.
Gotcha!
And totally understand, too, especially since we had to remove the railing from the baby's bed!
Maybe I am out of the loop of how women are thinking now a days - or maybe I am just too old fashioned, but it sure scares me if that is the new "norm" in terms of sex.
Purely out of curiosity, and feel free to deny to answer if you think it's taking the thread in too different a direction ... why does this "scare" you? Are you scared for yourself (maybe that you'd be seen as "weird") or for other women? Or men? Or is it a religious/moral thing?
what if?
... why does this "scare" you? Are you scared for yourself (maybe that you'd be seen as "weird") or for other women? Or men? Or is it a religious/moral thing?
