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Old 10-05-2008, 01:59 AM   #1
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Exclamation It's Not Fair! Share Your Stories

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had a similar moment (or, in my case, way of life)

I'm in college, and of all things that could happen to a big girl, I get the quintessential hot roommate. She's petite, she's got the tiniest waist known to man, and her butt is huge, so are her boobs. She can wear just about anything (except a button down shirt) Hmm, how do I describe her... New York from the Flava of Love would be a good idea. She looks almost exactly like her, and might have all of her clothes (And wears them well!). Guys fawn over her and ask her out and everything falls at her perfect feet.

Now, if she worked for that body of hers, I wouldn't feel so bad. But she doesn't lift a finger. In fact, she eats more than me on a binge! Every time her friends come over she cooks and eats. Not only that, but she'll have a full heavy meal (think beef stew so thick you could cut it with a knife) several times a day, not to mention breakfast, and sometimes she'll stop by the corner store for a pint of ice cream and a soda. If I did that I wouldn't be able to lift my own fork after a while.

But that's ok. She's not all bad. Sometimes she tries to cook for me. She says I need to put some meat on my bones. (LOL!!!!) fun times.

So, anyone else have a magically thin friend. I can't be the only one?
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Old 10-05-2008, 02:09 AM   #2
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I used to be that skinny girl. The one that you described. To a T. I was 5'2 and 110 pounds, clothes, sorority blah blah. I ate whatever, whenever and how ever much I wanted.

But then life happened, I was diagnosed with a mental illness, then came the meds, then came the pounds. All 70 of them. And they are still here.

I'm not saying this because I hope that for your friend. I'm just saying that life changes.

Aside from that when I gained my weight, I thought of myself as not worthy. I stopped taking care of myself, stopped wearing makeup, stopped going out. Turns out that a lot of my confidence unfortunatley was based on external things. What a wake up call.

I have slowly began to lose my weight. And yes, appearances are still important to me. But now I am rebuilding my confidence with lots of different things, aside from looks.

Hope this helps.

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Old 10-05-2008, 03:25 AM   #3
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i've def got the skinny friends! 3 of my best girlfriends are all in fantastic shape and super cute and smart on top of it all! i am sooooo tired of going out with them and having men just look *through* me at them, or pull me aside and say "hey, is your friend single??" while they scarf pizza down! i dunno about any of you - but i am very self conscious about eating in public. i worry about what people think when i am eating gross stuff. skinny girl eating pizza - guys say "wow! a girl who knows how to eat!" fat girl eating pizza - "put down the pizza and hit the gym!"
fact of life, i guess.
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Old 10-05-2008, 08:26 AM   #4
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I have a story, too! My mom is super skinny and really pretty. She gets looks wherever she goes. When I was in school (a long time ago), people used to say, "THAT's your mom?" As in, how'd she get such a fat daughter!

The older she gets, the more she has had to work on it, of course, but my point is this...

My mom has always been the "pretty, hot girl". Now she's in her mid/late 50's, and she's pretty much had every mid-life crisis there is (25 year old boyfriends, red sports car, plastic surgery). The woman does not know how to define herself, and no matter how good your genes, age happens. I actually feel sort of sorry for her, because she's never had to dig deeper to "find herself".

I personally think that we fat girls, when we are finally able to conquer this weight of ours, will find ourselves much more rounded as women and able to take a few gray hairs and wrinkles in stride, while the naturally thin beauties of this world will end up going to great lengths to keep what they got while we will be fulfilling ourselves in much deeper, more productive, and meaningful ways.

Just a thought!
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Old 10-05-2008, 08:52 AM   #5
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I was always fat growing up. I had lots of skinny friends that had the bf etc. I never really dated until i was 25. By then, I figured who i was. Now look at me, I graduated college, am a veterinarian (the first doctor in my family), have a Wonderful husband who loves me...curves and all. I think being overweight with a supportive network of friends and family, helped me figure out who I WAS. Then i was able to meet the right guy. Yes your friend may have guys falling at her feet, but probably if you asked her, most of them just want her for her body and nothing else. Just remember god created you for who you are....start learning to accept your body and learn to love things about you. Once you start doing that, you will find the right one for you.

And may i add that at your height and current weight, you really aren't that overwt. When I started here i was your current weight but only 5'3". So embrce your curves...and love everything about yourself. Don't worry about the fact that you have to watch what you put in your mouth. Start enjoying life and try not to worry so much. College is the place to meet and have fun....ENJOY!!!!!!! enjoy it, i would love to be back in school with little worries but exams. (:
Good luck and hope that helps!
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Old 10-05-2008, 12:47 PM   #6
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Yep, my "thin" friends didn't have to work for it. Actually I find some of my thin friends have what I would call weird eating habits. Either won't eat for three days, and then have two bites of something and complain they have a stomach ache. Or they are as you have described, eat anything and everything when ever.

I on the other hand have to go to the gym, I have to sweat, I have to restrict... and I know not matter how much I lose, I'll never look as good... Then again, at 33 I don't even care anymore. Save me from being that 50 year old who is bitter, because she finds her life is wasted, and all her looks are gone now... The type of woman who takes it out on me because I'm still young-ish and I still have things to do.


KateRN~ *skinny girl eating pizza - guys say "wow! a girl who knows how to eat!" fat girl eating pizza - "put down the pizza and hit the gym!"* I know what you mean! Why is that?
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Old 10-05-2008, 12:52 PM   #7
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You know I'm thankful that my friends can eat 10 cakes, not gain a single pound and all I have to do is look at them to gain. Why? Because regardless of my weight, I'm healthier and fitter than those thin friends. I also know in years to come when age hits them they will most likely start gaining rather quickly and be exactly where I am now, with more weight under their belts.
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Old 10-05-2008, 01:59 PM   #8
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You know, I could probably eat a whole bunch of fatty food and not gain weight right away. We all could, I'm sure. Just as long as we got back on track.

To be honest, I'd rather have gone through this journey than not. I've learned so much about how to nourish my body and I feel so much better eating this way than I ever did eating fatty foods, then starving myself or purging.

I don't really have any stories like yours, I just wanted to give my opinion.

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Old 10-06-2008, 12:45 AM   #9
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I'm 36 and I still go through this-we are members of a local swim club that my husband is on the board so I'm in the lime light, somewhat. The three closest friends I have are thin, thin, thin, naturally and truthfully-I'm not jealous of their figures because as my husband says "they have the bodies of ten year old boys". I know it sounds mean and I tell him that that is not nice but I do have to agree-not womanly bodies at all. does this sound mean? Not my intention at all. It does make me laugh when the BBQ comes out and they worry about every ounce, I don't want to live that way when I get to where I want to be. Healthy weight, healthy shape, shape of a woman, this is my goal-this is realistic for most in our situation. My goal is to drop 75-85 lbs by 6/1/09(or be pretty darn close). Maybe someone will think I'm too thin someday(how fab would that be???)
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Old 10-06-2008, 01:29 PM   #10
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My sister-in-law is a size 2 and eats all the time and whatever she wants. Boo!
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Old 10-06-2008, 02:00 PM   #11
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My husband is 140 lbs and he can't eat what he wants but he can eat a lot more than I can. He also has some sort of self regulation that I don't have in terms of food.

Although I know this will sound crazy, but I enjoy the person I am now and the person I would like to be in the future. I think if I grew up eating whatever I wanted and not gaining, I think I would've continued to eat horribly and remained inactive. I love that I'm a fairly active person aspiring to even be more active. I take enjoyment in eating fairly healthy and it also just makes me feel good. So I've had to endure a lot due to my weight and it has been a struggle but I think overall I enjoy the person I am now versus the person I think I would've been if I hadn't had issues with my weight.
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Old 10-06-2008, 02:05 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by futuresize6 View Post
I'm 36 and I still go through this-we are members of a local swim club that my husband is on the board so I'm in the lime light, somewhat. The three closest friends I have are thin, thin, thin, naturally and truthfully-I'm not jealous of their figures because as my husband says "they have the bodies of ten year old boys". I know it sounds mean and I tell him that that is not nice but I do have to agree-not womanly bodies at all. does this sound mean? Not my intention at all. It does make me laugh when the BBQ comes out and they worry about every ounce, I don't want to live that way when I get to where I want to be. Healthy weight, healthy shape, shape of a woman, this is my goal-this is realistic for most in our situation. My goal is to drop 75-85 lbs by 6/1/09(or be pretty darn close). Maybe someone will think I'm too thin someday(how fab would that be???)
Doesn't sound like they're really all that naturally thin.
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Old 10-06-2008, 02:11 PM   #13
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I really enjoy the posters in this thread who appreciate their bodies and don't envy others. I've been seeing an awful lot of threads dedicated to how envious someone is about another person's body lately.

Hating ourselves is what got a lot of us in this position in the first place and if we cannot find things to love about our bodies at our current weights, what makes us think we'll just automatically love our bodies at our goal weights?

This kind of thinking won't just go away when we lose a specific amount of weight.

I think instead of being envious of all of our thin friends (which leads to resentment and possibly the dissolution of the friendship), we need to learn to love ourselves - regardless of our body type and strive to be healthy and fit....not because we want to beat our friends in the weight game, but because we want to live the healthiest life possible.
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Old 10-06-2008, 05:36 PM   #14
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Yes, I have skinny friends. I spent a lot of my youth distrustful of skinny girls, and now I regret that. I assumed they were judging me for my size, but the fact is that I was judging them, and probably more harshly. Just a word of advice, don't let preconceptions get in the way of a great friendship!
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Old 10-06-2008, 05:52 PM   #15
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I do have friends of the "skinny hot" variety and on my better days I'll throw myself in that category

I've had a few friends that have been that way since high school, but they've always had to work at it, but I didn't realize it until much later. Maybe it came easier to them when they had the metabolisms of 18 year olds, but I've learned that they work just as hard as I do to maintain it.

However, I've always been a little envious of people who naturally control their appetites. I don't think it will ever "come naturally" to me, but so it is...

Amy, that's great advice
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