Yes some of the names are very disconcerting my heart just aches..For most of us we have been There and There is a place that as great as everyone seems to be on here we don't need to ever go to again . Sorry about going on
BTW my name is two of my favorites My fav place on earth and my Fav person my Mom
I was just thinking about the name "3 Fat Chicks" when I saw this topic.
When I was younger and heavier, I used to get offended at the word "fat". It didn't matter if it was about me or not, it was a bad word.
Now, I call it like it is. I am fat. I don't hate myself because I say that, I just happen to be fat. I even get a little mad if people do the "oh whatever, you're not fat" thing. I am fat! Fat fat fat! It's not degrading! I can still be beautiful and fat...just not healthy and fit and beautiful and fat! That doesn't quite work, haha.
Why did we all come to this forum? Probably because we are fat. This is a forum for fat chicks (and dudes) who want to lose weight. I love the name of the site. Fat shouldn't be taboo! It's what our bodies are (or were). For me, once I accepted that I was fat, I felt better about myself. I wasn't hiding what was so obvious! Now...I can focus on being THIN and FIT
About the usernames. I dunno if mine qualifies as one that seems degrading to myself. It's not as harsh as the ones mentioned, but, it does say belly in it...and belly up is what fish are when they die. So, haha, I guess it's not super positive if you think about it. But honestly, I picked it because I thought it was kind of a cute name. I wanted to remember why I'm here...my belly (and a few other parts) and I want that fat chick that is my body to be belly up...GONE.
So, that being said. I am fat now. Then I'll be fit.
Nansanurse mentioned the forum name, "3 Fat Chicks on a Diet." I can certainly see how someone who thinks of using a UN like Fatty123 would think they were just fitting in with the norm here. They'll discover soon that it's all about support and positive thinking and good knowledge, but, well, the forum name *is* 3 Fat Chicks, after all.
Often members do want to change their user names as time goes on, if they chose negative names to begin with.Jay
I think this is one of the best things about this site. People do feel lousy about their weight and it does affect self esteem and that can be reflected in their username. But they got themselves here, to 3FC, this amazing support group and maybe, just maybe, the cloud is lifted.
I do feel bad that people feel that way, and while my username doesn't have a negative connotation, I do understand. It was kind of like when I was growing up and everyone had an opinion (usually negative) about my weight. So guess how that made me feel? Pretty negative about myself.
I have learned a LOT on this site. I really could talk for hours about how this site has helped me grow and understand this weightloss and maintenance business and I think for some, learning not to label yourself "fatty06" is part of their process.
I totally agree, when choosing a user name it should be something positive about yourself, or something that makes you happy My Username Pixiesue is my pugs name. I love my pug and thinking of her makes me happy hence the name! I also coose the fairy avatar because 1. she's pretty and too I couldn't find a picture of a pixie. I may put a picture of pixiesue up someday if she stops turning her back every time she sees the camera
Last edited by Pixiesue; 05-20-2008 at 12:55 PM.
Reason: just to add more
I am fat. I don't hate myself because I say that, I just happen to be fat. I even get a little mad if people do the "oh whatever, you're not fat" thing. I am fat! Fat fat fat! It's not degrading! I can still be beautiful and fat
I am a beautiful woman who happens to be fat, overweight, rotund or whatever else you want to call it. I'm also a loving mother, one of the best workers around, a talented crafter, a good cook and so many other things I could fill 3 forum pages. But don't say I'm not fat. It is a lie. My ex is still chasing after me and he is a very good looking man with a good job. So there is alot more to me than my weight, but, I'm still fat.
We have to own it. Richard Pryor said shortly before he died that he wouldn't use the "n" word anymore because he had moved past it. But, when he was doing his earlier comedy it was necessary for the african-american population to take over that word and OWN it. Now we are dealing with B***h with women. We are taking it and OWNING it. And in the end, we will define what it means to ourselves and those around us and then it will quit being used as a means to hurt and discount us.
When I first started considering that I might be(yeah right, at 200lbs.) overweight, I lied to myself alot. It wasn't that bad. If this was different, if that was different, I wouldn't be so big. Well, fact is, about 9mths to 1 yr ago, I realized I am FAT. That's when my attitude started to shift and that's what led me here. So don't feel to bad for those who are still self deprecating. Just realize that it is the first step on the journey to self awareness and and then self love. Afterall, the 1st step in the 12 step programs is--Admitted that I have a problem.
Last edited by Operator265; 05-20-2008 at 01:09 PM.
I was really tempted when joining to have a name like thunderthighs or something but decided it may bring too much attention towards myself if someone was to read the name and comment on it.
Instead I chose Lupin because its the first year I've grown them,
Often I think names may be interpreted by others differently than the person intended. No doubt, some people feel lousy, so create a lousy name. Others may be expressing self-deprecating humor, or even self-empowering "fattitude," or an inside (family) joke...
My handle is kaplods. It's one of the crazy nicknames my father created for me in early childhood. The "full" nickname is fat kaplods, but it was too long for the first site I tried it on, so I've used kaplods since. I love that nickname, even with the "fat" part, because my dad used it (and uses it still, along with his other nicknames Fat Jammers and Jammer Juicekins) with 100% love in his voice, and in his heart. He is the only person in my life, who uses the word with no judgement or malice attached (except my husband, and you can bet its a good part of the reason I picked him).
I am fat, and I am loveable. I'm not loveable despite being fat, the two are not, in any way, related.
I am fat and I am not ashamed of it. There's a possibility, perhaps even a probability that I will always be fat (just hopefully, ever less so). Whether or not I make it to my goal weight, has absolutely no bearing on my value or identity. I am not bad if I overeat, and I am not good if I do not. If I lose another 100 lbs and find I cannot lose more (or am tired of fighting to lose more, and decide I want to try to maintain) I will still be fat. In fact, I will still be morbidly obese (but not super morbidly obese, as I am now - I didn't even know the term existed until I watched Big Medicine Sunday night).
I also am tired of fat being treated and used as a bad (even profane) word. I don't remember the context, perhaps I was talking about how hard it is to find "off-the-rack" clothes being fat, and a friend/coworker said "you're not fat." I laughed, and she was embarassed and said "you know what I mean." The sad fact is I did. On what planet is 394 lbs not fat? - On a planet where fat is such a terrible thing - that a good person can't be fat, they must be something else (I'm not sure what). I detest the word "fluffy," or most of the other euphemism for fat. Fat is at least straight-forward and honest, not childish like "chubby," or pretentious like Rubenesque (besides, I'm too fat, even for Rubens tastes, I'm more Venus of Willendorf).
Fat can be beautiful. It can be sexy. It probably can even be healthy (at least when one is carrying only a tiny bit extra, and not an extra person on their person).
I think that the attitude of a person with a self-abusing attitude will not be changed by changing their name (because they've already inscribed the nastiness on their heart), but I've seen those attitudes change (and sometimes the names), as people come here are realize that a fat person is not obligated to hate themselves (which society tends to imply, if not outright shout at us all, to the point a person with an "extra" 5 lbs on their frame thinks they have to hate themselves if they can't remove it).
I have noticed those handles but I can't say that they bother me. I find it completely understandable to view oneself as "chubby", "fat" or something similar when one is afraid to step on a scale and clothes are bursting at the seams. I sure there are some women that are overweight and yet have a high self-esteem - thumbs up to them but I think those are in the dumps about their weight, looks and associated health issues greatly outweigh hem (pun not intended). Besides, nobody really knows why a person chooses her/his handle.
Years ago, I adopted a 10 yr old greyhound who was grossly overweight (any fat dog is a sad sight, but a fat greyhound is the worst). He was fed (by his original family) hamburgers and rice and he had no tuck at all. I nicknamed him Chubbik and I used that as much as I used his real name but I loved him to death (by the way, a year later, Chubbik was was down from his 97 lbs to about 74 lbs, a much better weight for him and he got a new lease on life). I often call one of my current greyhounds Chubster because she tends to gain weight over winter). Anyway, back to the original topic. So, maybe the ladies will happily decide to change the handles to something less indicative of their weight once they lose some. Quite frankly, seeing "fat" or "Chubby" in a handle does not bother me - but it bother me when somebody calls herself "Mommies_rule_the_world" or some such because it seems to indicate that women who don't have kids are somehow of lesser value (something that I am extremely sensitive to).
I understand what everyone is saying about owning the term, being honest about your weight, feeling depressed when picking a name, and so on. I do think there are some merits to that.
But in addition to everything I've already mentioned about having a negative name, I think it's also a poor choice because it's not going to apply for very long!
Like, if you named yourself "25yearoldgirl" it will no longer be true in a year! I think it's the same thing with picking a negative user name: it's not going to be true for very long, so why not pick something more positive (or at least something nuetral)?
I agree with your point AppleCheeks. It's like setting a goal name sorta I do believe that your words reflect greatly on who you are. If you say negative hateful things all the time then obviously you are negative and hateful person. It will only grow and grow and grow. You attract that things into your life. It consumes you. Same with positive and happy words.
With me, I think a sense of humor is a must when you lose weight. If you are focusing on the peice of cake you ate yesterday, you aren't going to be able to focus on that delicious balanced meal in front of you. Yeah, sometimes diet food tastes awful, and sleeping in is more fun that jogging, but...instead of dwelling on the negative...focus on how good you feel when you eat less and move more! How HOT you're going to look when you can fit into that skimpy dress again. And how funny it is when you can't control yourself and you eat your whole dang house out because you had that ONE brownie.
One needs to accept being fat and realize FAT isn't a negative or hateful word. It just describes someone who has too much fat on their bodies. It's an obstical.
Personally, I love dark humor, so I tend to think "positivity" is highly over-rated. My husband finds this deeply ironic, because he says I'm the most optimistic, cheerful, even "chipper" person he knows, most of the time. So much so, that when "dark Colleen" comes out, he sort of freaks out.
It's ironic, because while he's got this biker-viking rebel appearance (long hair, goatee when I met him, full beard now), he's one of the most vanilla, even uptight, conservative in so many ways. He likes to "rebel" in completely superficial ways. Me, I dress and act pretty mainstream, but have a more liberal, creative, even twisted inner identity.
I've been obese nearly all of my remembered existence, so in a very real way, I do not have a "thin person" trying to get out. Instead, no matter how thin I become, I will always have the "inner fat person," and that's ok. In fact, I'm sure I'd be a very different person if I had never been fat, or if I'd spent most of my life thin, and I kind of doubt that I would be a better person for it (not that there aren't perfectly wonderful people who happen to be thin and/or beautiful. Still, I think struggles of some type do build strength and depth of character).
I like who I am, and to a large degree even the fat part, even the negative parts. Being fat has taught me wonderful life lessons like empathy, the value of intelligence, hard work, and social skills (since I couldn't rely on "beauty") and that not being "normal," is ok.
For a while, in junior high, I went through an "elephant" phase. I identified with, and admired the huge beasts. Seemingly clumsy, they are actually quite graceful, even nimble for their size. They're intelligent, compassionate, and even beautiful. I wore an ivory elephant necklace, and one day in 6th grade, while we were lining up for something, a boy named Derek was teasing me about my necklace, pulling on it and asking me if it was one of my relatives - and I punched him in the eye and he fell into the garbage can (Yeah, elephant power!).
So, I don't think you can always assume that a name you see as negative, is interpreted the same way by the person who chose it, or that they expect to keep it forever. My dad had tons of nicknames for us as kids, and they changed and morphed over time. I've given at least three nicknames to every pet (or for that matter, boyfriend) I've ever had - some silly some serious. I guess I don't see names as labels as much as social "placeholders," if that makes any sense.
For those that picked a truly hateful name for themselves, or even those who've picked a "nice" or inconspicuous name for a self-harming reason (say WannabeBarbie) I can only hope that here they will learn by example, that they are worthy not only of the respect of others, but of themselves as well.
Ah, yes the whale stage, I remember it well. Actually, maybe I'm still in my whale stage as I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the water. When I was a kid, I would pretend to be a dolphin or whale, while swimming (never making, eep, eep sounds, at least not out loud, luckily. Even I have to draw the line of abnormality somewhere).
.For most of us we have been There and There is a place that as great as everyone seems to be on here we don't need to ever go to again . Sorry about going on 
