The holidays are quickly approaching. While most people experience a hint of joy at this idea, I'm left with sadness and nervous tension.
Here's why:
My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2.5 years. We're in love, and that's not going to change any time soon (I hope!) All my friends are okay with it, and all hers are, as well. Some of her extended family knows about her relationship with me, and they couldn't care less. Her brother and her sister both love me, but her parents never, ever want to meet me, hate that she is involved with me, and don't want to hear a single word about me.
However, they are well aware that I have a good, steady, decent-paying job (I'm able to support the two of us while she pursues her masters, though she just started a job today so that we can have some extra), that I'm a very talented web designer (they saw my web development business site), that I'm not physically unfortunate (they've seen pictures), that I'm well-educated (they saw my resume on my web site because they're nosey), that I'm polite and well-mannered (her brother and sister have both said so), and that I'm not leaving my girlfriend's life any time soon
My family is the same way: my sister completely accepts me and is ok with my girlfriend (though they have a small bit of a personality clash), my cousins are completely cool with it, but my parents... well... here goes:
I "came out" to them as bisexual when I was 16. They thought it was a phase. I dated both girls and guys from the ages of 16-18, until I met my current girlfriend. She is unquestionably my longest relationship to date. My parents were disgusted with my "life choices" and my mom screamed, "LORD! TAKE ME NOW!" and forced me to go to confession. Then, they (Mom especially) wouldn't stop harassing me about being bisexual and telling me how I'm going to ****, reading bible verses to me, then wondering if I need an exorcism My parents are hardcore homophobes and have 732094709 misconceptions about those who aren't completely straight. Even though I contradict every single misconception in the book (I'm not promiscuous, I don't want to be a member of the opposite sex, etc), they still harbor these very false stereotypes.
I never even told them that the girlfriend and I are romantically involved (because we never, ever discuss the subject of my sexuality) but I'm sure they can read between the lines considering I moved to the other end of the east coast for her, share a bedroom with her, am planning on moving again -with her, and we do everything together. I'm pretty sure they know (even if they don't want to) but like everything else related to my "alternative" sexuality, it's swept under the rug.
This makes me sad that I can't really share my girlfriend with my parents, and she can't share me with hers. Whenever we visit family, we can never bring the other. This causes arguments between us. I've accepted that I will never meet her parents, but she won't accept that she probably should never meet mine unless they become more accepting. She wants to come over to my family's place for one of the major holidays, and I've told her repeatedly that it is not the best idea, because I don't want all **** to blow over and make us both miserable.
We are very serious about each other and the discussion of long-time commitment has come up several times. We're not planning to do this any time *too* soon, but we've mentioned it briefly. I don't want us hitched until we can afford a faaaabulous ceremony and I don't want us hitched until she's done with school. So, it would be in a few years. Still, I know that if we ever DO get hitched, neither of our parents will come to the ceremony, and that sucks.
A part of me wants to cry right now.