The attitudes you learn when you're young set a pattern. On the one hand the responsible people salute moderation. At the same time they worship people like Morrison, sports heros, various workaholics who don't do anything in moderation.
My theory is that I started out with a dislike of most food just like most kids dislike food. I was taught to like a lot of foods and smoking and our whole immoderate way of living. Some of those things became patterns and behaviors and some of them like growing new fat cells are just irreversible. The thing about being fat is that you only have to get fat once and you've got all those new fat cells waiting to expand for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter how good you are at dieting.
Well, not exactly true, about the fat cells. But anyway...
I didn't like food either when I was a child (preschooler). I was little and sickly and it was hard to get me to eat anything. I remember it--food was just too vivid, I had a hard time dealing with it.
Yep, that changed!
But I'm no longer a slave to food. I figured out this last time that eating "normal" (i.e., society's way) didn't work for me.
Yes, I imagine that I'll have to watch what I eat for the rest of my life. I can live with that, and live quite well.
The attitudes you learn when you're young set a pattern. On the one hand the responsible people salute moderation. At the same time they worship people like Morrison, sports heros, various workaholics who don't do anything in moderation.
My theory is that I started out with a dislike of most food just like most kids dislike food. I was taught to like a lot of foods and smoking and our whole immoderate way of living. Some of those things became patterns and behaviors and some of them like growing new fat cells are just irreversible. The thing about being fat is that you only have to get fat once and you've got all those new fat cells waiting to expand for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter how good you are at dieting.
Oh, okay. I see. By saying people who were abused and what-have-you are only blaming others for their weight gain, you really meant you. I get it.
The attitudes you learn when you're young set a pattern. On the one hand the responsible people salute moderation. At the same time they worship people like Morrison, sports heros, various workaholics who don't do anything in moderation.
My theory is that I started out with a dislike of most food just like most kids dislike food. I was taught to like a lot of foods and smoking and our whole immoderate way of living. Some of those things became patterns and behaviors and some of them like growing new fat cells are just irreversible. The thing about being fat is that you only have to get fat once and you've got all those new fat cells waiting to expand for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter how good you are at dieting.
Yes, the things learned when you are young most definitely set a pattern. But we as humans are capable of setting new patterns. I promise you it IS possible. I was the worlds worst eater and the most inactive person you can imagine. I have reversed that. Totally and completely. Do I still struggle sometimes to eat well and exercise - of course I do and I have no doubt that I always will. But it is doable. Fat cells and all. Why are you so doubting? We have many, many long term success stories around here.
Me personally, I never, ever saw sports people, rock stars and the like as heroes. That' s just totally absurd to me.
Are you really looking for help and support in your weight efforts? Or are you just looking for some heated interaction? I'm not really seeing that you ARE looking for support.
The thing about being fat is that you only have to get fat once and you've got all those new fat cells waiting to expand for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter how good you are at dieting.
That's why most of us are not merely on a diet....we are changing our whole lifestyle. Yeah, I know....sounds like a trite phrase that we regurgitate back and forth with each other. But, the fact is...I've lost weight many times...and I've gained back that weight plus a few more pounds each time. I have finallyrealized that I have to change the way I live if I hope to ever succeed at losing this weight and keeping it off forever. And you know what? Changing your lifestyle is not for the faint of heart! This is the hardest thing I've ever done....but, what is the alternative?
Oh, okay. I see. By saying people who were abused and what-have-you are only blaming others for their weight gain, you really meant you. I get it.
Carry on.
This is what I was thinking as well-by saying in one post that people who have eating disorders because of abuse/pain in their past is BS and that they are blaming it on something other than themselves...and then turning around and saying that you are heavy because of patterns you learned as a child-that is a walking contradiction.
What is it that you are looking for here on this site? How can we help you? Are you seeking answers for yourself? Wanting to share your experiences with us? I'm interested in what motivated you to sign up on 3FatChicks.
I already did the "change your whole lifestyle" thing. It was back in '81. It worked. I thought it was permanent. I started with the Pritikin plan as a model. Went on a fast for a few days and then kept track of every calorie. Stayed at 1200 calories a day for awhile. Rode my bike more and more. Walked. I lost about fifty pounds, but it all came back even though I thought I'd changed everything and got used to everything. Pritikin died of a heart attack not long after.
People want to know all kinds of details about me, I don't know them about you. Maybe it's in your profiles. I haven't looked. A lot of you are proclaiming yourselves successes. How long have you been a success?
I get annoyed when people say they eat because of abuse. I've heard it here. I've read it in books. I'm reading "Fat girl". The author is pretty unpleasant. She writes brutally honestly about what she was, but I'm not sure she's honest about what caused her problems. She whines a lot about her mother and father. Anyhow, I'm not singling out anyone here. In general I think the whole theory is bs. I'd be a liar if I claimed otherwise. I'm opinionated. I hope that's not against the rules. Most of all I recognize that there isn't a diet that works for the long term, for the rest of your life. That's what's needed. Temporary weight loss always feels good at first. It doesn't feel so good when it comes back or when you hurt your knees from despertely trying to exercise too much.
When I said something to the effect, "fat, unattractive blob" I wasn't talking about anyone here, but us fat folks in general. If that's still too much I can try to avoid using that, but I'm used to much worse.
If there's a better forum for this topic feel free to move it. I hope it's not to some backwater. Personally, I think people shouldn't be so touchy. Opinions are opinions. I'm fat myself. I'm as always fiddling with my diet, riding my bike for up to 3 hours a day, walking and in general doing all the things dieters do except keep a diary. I'm a little afraid to lose weight because of what happened last time, you see. I've ended up after 27 years much heavier than when I started. I never want to go through that again.
This is what I was thinking as well-by saying in one post that people who have eating disorders because of abuse/pain in their past is BS and that they are blaming it on something other than themselves...and then turning around and saying that you are heavy because of patterns you learned as a child-that is a walking contradiction.
No. Some people claim they were neglected or derided by their parents and that's why they eat now. I was saying that I learned to admire people who didn't do things in moderation so long as they were successful and talented. I mentioned that teacher who I liked and his love of the Peter the Great character. Then there's society in general who loves to watch someone kill themself in pursuit of a goal.
Are you sure you're not mad because I'm challenging what you think is the successful plan to follow?
"Diets" and lifestyles changes only work if you stick to them. You have to be willing to do that. Pounds don't come magically back on. They come on for a reason. Because you CHOOSE to eat. The choice is yours. It's a choice we make every single day, many times throughout the day in fact.
It sounds like your head is just not there. Maybe you may benefit to speak with a professional to sort this all out.
Being opinionated is not against the rules. Insulting people, even people in general is.
Hey Greens, you should be able to see all of our tickers, which are the bars at the bottom of our posts that show our progress. Mine, as you see, says that I lost 43 pounds, and I'm doing maintenance now, which I've been doing for a month.
You can get one of those tickers, too, by going to "User CP" (click it at the top of the page) and then clicking "Edit Signature." Also, some folks have S/C/G in the left margin of their posts, which is "Start weight/Current weight/Goal weight, and list their height.
You don't have to reveal anything about yourself if you don't want to. It just helps us know where someone is coming from. You'd be surprised at the people who drop in here who aren't interested in weight loss, really. Spammers, kids wanting to act out, and so on.
We don't allow fat bashing or skinny bashing here. Someone can call himself or herself a big fat cow, but no one else should ever call anyone else that, even in general. We have members who are over 400 pounds, and members who are under 120.
People do have a hard time sometimes seeing how being abused can lead to eating problems--but being abused leads to lots of problems, so it's not surprising that abused people turn to food (or drugs, or other bad compulsive behaviors). But of course, not everyone is like that. I am not a victim of abuse, as far as I know--but hey, I did manage to overeat anyway.
I can understand your fear of losing, after having gained it back. But there are better programs now, and better approaches, than what were around in the '80s. Sounds like you are physically active, and that's good!
This is a fine place to post if you want support with your weight loss efforts. We aren't doctors or professionals here (although probably some of our members are), but we know what it's like and we sometimes can help.
Are you sure you're not mad because I'm challenging what you think is the successful plan to follow?
I can't speak for Aphil or anyone else for that matter. But I'm pretty sure Aphil's not mad because you are challenging what she may think is the successful plan to follow, because basically I don't see you challenging any plans whatsoever. You're just spewing out anger and quite frankly not making much sense when doing so.
People want to know all kinds of details about me, I don't know them about you. Maybe it's in your profiles. I haven't looked. A lot of you are proclaiming yourselves successes. How long have you been a success?
I can't speak for everyone, but I think the reason you're posts are off-putting to me is that you've come in here and basically said that there is no way to successfully lose weight and keep it off. I'm truly sorry you feel that way, because that is an attitude that WILL make it hard to be successful. But it's just plain not true. This is a SUPPORT forum, and nothing you've said so far has been very supportive, not have you been seeking support. As a new member, I personally find many women on this site to be very inspirational, because they HAVE, despite what you may think, been VERY successful. It's not impossible to lose weight and maintain that loss, it just takes a total overhaul of your lifestyle, and we are here to support that lifestyle change in one another.
Greens-going on a fast for a few days, and eating 1200 calories a day for a male (you are male, correct?) is very extreme, and I would liken that more to a "diet" instead of a lifestyle change.
Honestly, for a man, 1800 calories a day is a more reasonable weight loss calorie level...1200 is simply too low for most men.
In the 80's there were a lot of dietary changes and things that people did, that studies have found were too extreme, or simply ineffective. In the early 80's lifting weights for women wasn't done much...bouncy high impact aerobics in thong leotards and matching leg warmers was. Women were afraid of "bulking up" back then, when most of us simply can't, because we don't have the male body.
I honestly urge you to try again, and learn what you can about how things have changed since your last really big go at weight loss. In the 80's my mom was doing fasts, crash diets, and had 1 pound pink hand weights. It wasn't until just a few years ago that I and my stepfather convinced her to eat more moderately (not her old crash diets) and to really get fit.
I understand that there is a fear of failing, and regaining again. We have a wonderful section here called "Maintainers" that is specifically FOR those who have lost the weight, and are committed to keeping it off permanently.
As far as details about all of the rest of us go, nib around a bit. Some info is in our profiles. Some of us have info there about our interests, photos, etc. If you go to the General Chatter section, that is where we talk about other things besides our diet/exercise regimes. You'll find out more about our personal interests there. Once you are around a while, you sort of get to know other people, and what they are all about.
As for me personally, if there is anything you want to know-I am pretty much an open book.
I am also very opinionated myself, so I can respect that, but where the problem lies sometimes is that over the computer we don't have the ability to see someone's body language, facial expression, and hear their tone, to see how to take some comments. We also have to realize that every now and then there is a 16 year old kid trolling websites trying to get people riled up because they have nothing else to do.
One of the things about letting us know where you are in your journey is so that we can help. I wouldn't suggest jogging to someone who is 200 pounds overweight, for instance-and I wouldn't suggest Atkins to a vegetarian. Letting us know more about you, and your personal struggles with your weight can only help us, because then we have more information to go by.
No. Some people claim they were neglected or derided by their parents and that's why they eat now. I was saying that I learned to admire people who didn't do things in moderation so long as they were successful and talented. I mentioned that teacher who I liked and his love of the Peter the Great character. Then there's society in general who loves to watch someone kill themself in pursuit of a goal.
Are you sure you're not mad because I'm challenging what you think is the successful plan to follow?
Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinrobin
I can't speak for Aphil or anyone else for that matter. But I'm pretty sure Aphil's not mad because you are challenging what she may think is the successful plan to follow, because basically I don't see you challenging any plans whatsoever. You're just spewing out anger and quite frankly not making much sense when doing so.
Thank you robin, very well put.
No, I am not angry because you are challenging what I think is a successful plan to follow. I haven't stated one particular plan...and you haven't challenged one particular plan. You have challenged them all, and stated that basically, we are all doomed to fail, eventually.
I am also angry that you have been generalizing people, which you simply cannot do-because we are all individuals and unique. I am miffed that you would state that one person's past and it having influenced their eating is b.s., and then a few posts later, saying that your childhood shaped your life and dealings with food. It was a contradiction.
You generalize and say in multiple posts, including this last one, that society in general loves to watch someone kill themselves in pursuit of a goal.
What????
I don't worship sports stars, or stars like Morrison...people who have it all and throw it away because of drugs/booze/chicks/whatever. That is generalizing again.
The fact of the matter is, you are upset because you have failed in the past, and rather than dust yourself off and try again-you have come here and basically told everyone, including people who have maintained their losses for years-that they are doomed to fail. This is the support section, and your comments are pretty much the complete opposite of that.
That is what upsets me. If you want to try again, and quite possibly succeed-then we are here for you. If you are here only to tell us that we will eventually fail, then that is something that I just don't feel is right for a forum based on support.
I am closing the thread-I don't really think that anything is being accomplished here.
Women were afraid of "bulking up" back then, when most of us simply can't, because we don't have the male body. 
