[littlehannah]

My boyfriend and I broke up about four months ago, and at first I was so depressed that I rarely had an apatite. As a result, I lost about 8 pounds. I hated the way I felt emotionally, but I loved the way my body looked. Now my depression has begun to manifest itself differently; I feel like I have no self control when it comes to food and I always feel hungry. In the past month I have gained about ten pounds, and I feel terrible. My body image is incredibly unhealthy. All I ever think about is my weight, my belly fat, and food. I am a very fit person, but I never feel like I work out enough, and I honestly disgust myself. Has anyone else ever felt this way? I've never joined a forum before, so I don't know how this all works, but I'm desperate to lose weight, and I really don't know what else to do.

[TurboMammoth]

I'd suggest to get some time from you. You are sad, it is normal to be uspet and get a rough time in this situation.

Keep yourself busy, to keep your mind out of your breakup AND food. Maybe go for a walk? Take a random class of something you always wanted to try?

[littlehannah]

I definitely think my relationship with food is the biggest problem. I stay busy (I am a full-time college student, I work at least 20hrs a week, and I play rugby for my school's women's club team), so it's not a lack of activity that is holding me back. I think if I were able to develop better eating habits, and a better mind set about food in general, it would make a big difference.

[Andrea85]

I had a similar situation. After a breakup, I couldn't eat so I lost 10 lbs in a month, then gained it back over the next few months. Just like you, I LOVED my 10 lb slimmer figure. However, it didn't come to be in a healthy way....really, it came by starvation. So when you started to eat again, of course the weight came back on! And you are hungry because you kind of whacked out your metabolism. It will stabilize, just give it time. For now, just think of it as you are at your "normal" again.
It's a good thing you're noticing that your relationship with food has gone to the other extreme, because now you can do something about it before it gets out of control! When I am successful at eating (meaning I have good portions, healthy foods, no emotional binging/snacking), it's because I am looking at food only as fuel for my body. I choose foods for what they are doing for my body, NOT for my tastebuds. I still try make those things taste good, but the focus is on nutrition. Do I still make mistakes? Of course! I still have times where I have those cookies are solely because I had a bad day and want chocolate, or I'm not hungry but I'm eating that bagel anyways. But those days happen less and less. What keeps me going is how GOOD my body feels when I feed it properly.

Good luck, and hugs! I know this is a hard time for you, I'm glad you're here to find support.

[littlehannah]

Thank you so much for sharing that. It makes me feel better to know that someone else understands how I feel. It is really hard for me to come to terms with the fact that my skinnier body was only there because I wasn't eating. It has made me feel like the only way for me to look the way I want is to starve myself, which I know isn't healthy. Definitely feeling like I'm stuck in a rut right now.