I get made fun of for being on a healthy eating plan. My boss has nicknamed me anorexic, and people make comments about the food I bring to work (I work at a restauraunt, and no one understands why I dont eat something from there rather than my protein shakes or whatever I bring)... The worst offenders are my in laws though. I don't think they mean to be rude, but really, you can talk to me about things other than the fact that "I'm too skinny", and "too uptight about health foods". They are always trying to get me to eat more, and to eat treats-- it's like I present a challenge for them to beat. Anyways-- it's their turn for thanksgiving this year and we'll be staying with them for three days... I guess I just wanted to vent and see if anyone has Advice. I don't want to go crazy with food for three days. Yeah, I'll relax a little for thanksgiving but that doesn't mean that I need 15 servings of everything and to eat pancakes and bacon for breakfast every day. Ugh-- thanks if you have made it this far and have any advice on how to get through the weekend!
It is never right for someone to call you names or make you feel like crap. I think the skinnier we are, the more we stick out (ironic) b/c so much of the population is overweight. You are very tall, and weigh very little. BMI puts you at 18-19. Only a small percentage of the population is where you are, and it think people hone in on that for a variety of reasons, most of which being jealousy or a misunderstanding that every thin person is unhealthy.
First your boss calling you anorexic is just rude and unprofessional. Sounds familiar too - mine called me "anorexic broccoli girl" back when I was around 110lbs. Nice comment from a staff sergeant eh?
When your current/goal BMI puts you at almost underweight, I think sometimes it's fair to take a step back and consider that it's not all criticism that is intended to hurt, but a genuine concern from people who worry that you may be developing harmful disordered eating habits.
As much as my boss was an *******, my other coworkers who said "aren't you worried you are too thin?", in hindsight, were correct. I had no eating disorder, I simply misunderstood how to become fit (I was training for a police fitness exam and that required a lot of exercise but I wasn't eating sufficiently). Not everyone wants to bring you down but some do have real concerns. Have you considered this possibility?
Welllll, if you boss has nicknamed you anorexic, that is just plain rude and extremely unprofessional and I would politely ask him to stop...
As for the relatives, I've learned over the years that it's not worth trying to convince them by talking, so I just shrug my shoulders, eat healthy and shut up, lead by example... I'm 54 and they have FINALLY gotten used to it ... The one thing that my 83 year old Mom still can't get used to is my running and weight training... She thinks running is crazy and I should speed walk instead, but I just wanna run, so I just smile and keep running....
Yeah, I agree about the boss calling you anorexic...that's extremely rude and unprofessional. It's not even remotely a cute nickname, it's just insulting. I would tell him (or her) that needs to stop immediately. Not OK.
When your current/goal BMI puts you at almost underweight, I think sometimes it's fair to take a step back and consider that it's not all criticism that is intended to hurt, but a genuine concern from people who worry that you may be developing harmful disordered eating habits.
As much as my boss was an *******, my other coworkers who said "aren't you worried you are too thin?", in hindsight, were correct. I had no eating disorder, I simply misunderstood how to become fit (I was training for a police fitness exam and that required a lot of exercise but I wasn't eating sufficiently). Not everyone wants to bring you down but some do have real concerns. Have you considered this possibility?
I agree with this. There does get to be a point where being "careful" about what you are eating can cross a very fine line of being healthy vs excessive, and I worry some ladies fall into the habit of losing weight only to want to keep losing weight just because it's what they are used to doing vs because they actually need to.
As for your boss, that is clearly out of line and I agree you should say something about it.
As for your in-laws, I think they may have a point, assuming your stats are up to date. It's typically considered rude to turn down offers of food, just as a cultural rule, and when you don't look like someone who needs to lose weight, people aren't going to loosen their view of how much is a polite amount to eat. My suggestion for getting through the weekend is that you aren't going to get fat from eating like a non-dieter for 3 days. Give yourself a weekend, and get back to plan when you get home.
Your boss sounds like a jerk... Even if it is being said out of concern, name-calling is not the way to go about it.
I lost a large amount of weight a few years ago and as I started approaching my goal, started hearing that I was too skinny, etc. I didn't stick to my convictions and allowed the influence of my friends and family to derail my progress. Now, here I sit, having put half of the weight back on and struggling all over again. Had I been strong enough to stand up for myself and hold to my plan, I would be over two years into maintenance at this point.
I know I will meet the same challenge with my in-laws this weekend, as they do not believe that I have anything to lose. I have already set my plan - make sure to get a full workout in each day (easy to do since we'll be at a lakehouse and there is nothing more beautiful than an early morning run around the lake), eat a little of everything that I love but, not take a serving of those foods that I can live without, and I'm taking small containers for leftovers so that I don't leave with entire meals that I will feel obligated to finish.
You just have to stick to your goal and your plan... it's not for anyone else to approve of or judge. Your happiness is jsut as important as your health.
Thanks for the replies everyone! I think that the from the family standpoint, they may be concerned. I am not actively trying to lose more weight, but because I lean toward fruits and veggies they all always assume I am "on a diet", and don't need to be... I am also training for another marathon and the day I posted they had all been telling me how they "don't understand why I don't sit back and enjoy life a little." ok- sorry i enjoy running and not getting diabetes and blood clots abd high blood pressure meds like most of you..? So I was just all-around frustrated... I'll loosen up a little on thanksgiving but I refuse to go insane for three days. I'll just stick to my guns as much as i can without being rude I guess, I love my family and I worry about their health, I think that's another reason it gets under my skin, almost all of them are very overweight and have a TON of health problems... Luckily my hubby is active and has changed his eating significantly.. I do want my future kids to grow up with their grandparents around. so I feel hurt that they feel that they can critique my eating, but I feel that I have to bite my tongue... Ugh...
As far as my boss goes- I don't know how to even approach it. He is always brining in doughnuts, cookies, candy.. Or making new dishes for all of the servers to try. When I don't eat any, the "anorexic girl" nickname comes out. (ps I have a small frame, I swear I don't look sickly skinny)... But anyways, I've got to say something because it's really rubbing me the wrong way. Whew- getting that out makes me feel better...
Thanks again to everyone and I hope you all have an enjoyable holiday!
I was just going to start a thread about this,
Over the past 4 years I've slowly lost 40 pounds. I did it with simple diet and excercise. I've also completely cut out all meat but fish. Working in a steakhouse part-time I get alot of pokes about the way I eat. I'm very healthy (besides the vino & cocktails and very occasional cigarette).
However people all the time are shocked about the way I look. People tell me I'm too skinny. Or say "go eat a sandwich". I even have a client that calls me Mary-Kate. And it's really starting to piss me off. I feel really good about myself for once and my weight loss is the best thing I've done for myself.
I can also assure you I by no means have an eating disorder. I actually love food... alot. Nor am I underweight. I still have plenty of meat on my bones and still intend to lose 10 more pounds.
So anyways. I'm just ranting. I know they joke but it would be nice to hear something positive from someone once in a while.
WHat if you phrased it as "could you please stop talking about my body." Sexual harassment is a huge no no in the work place, and calling you anorexic is making a hostile work environment (what if he was calling an obese person "oh, hey, the giant whale is here" that would be shut down by HR in a second) it's not ok to discuss someone's body at work just because they are thin.
If you do have an HR department, maybe talk to them.
It's also very much not OK to use a mental illness as a way of having a dig at a coworker's eating habits. Anorexia is a devastating medical condition with an extremely high death rate. It is not a joke. If someone did that to me, I'd probably start talking to them about the friends and family I've had who've had problems with anorexia, and by "problems" I mean that several of them are barely hanging on to life and may not manage it for much longer.
ugh! I'm so sorry your boss has decided it is 'ok' to call you names.
I worked with a lady that was a 'food pusher'-she'd make cookies/cakes/pies etc at least once a week, and run around the office telling people she made goodies. I tried telling her 'I don't really eat sweets' (I really generally don't). She would say, "Oh c'mon, just a small piece, you'll love it!" and she'd shove a plate in my face and stare at me while I ate it.
Eventually, she figured out i was on WW and one day she came in and presented me with 10 boxes of the Smart Ones frozen dinners and announced (in front of everybody else there) "Since you're on WW and cannot eat my delicious baked items, you can eat these instead!"
I wanted to run away and hide SO bad!
Often it isn't jealousy. In today's world, people just aren't used to seeing many individuals at your weight. As a result, our perception is skewed as a culture. What at one time would not have been a particularly unusual weight is now a weight that appears undernourished by comparison.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 01-10-2012 at 06:50 PM.
That doesn't make the comments acceptable. But it is a fact that we have a skewed perspective on weight. On the one hand you have the fashion magazines doctoring pictures to an all-new level. And on the other hand you have the obesity epidemic: when so many people are overweight, people who are not are going to look very thin in comparison. These two things together make it hard for people to view someone on the low side of the BMI scale as healthy.
Last edited by Petite Powerhouse; 01-10-2012 at 06:53 PM.
Food pushers and being made fun of...
... The one thing that my 83 year old Mom still can't get used to is my running and weight training... She thinks running is crazy and I should speed walk instead, but I just wanna run, so I just smile and keep running.... 
so I feel hurt that they feel that they can critique my eating, but I feel that I have to bite my tongue... Ugh... 
