Today we are having a heat wave in NE. Its awesome jacket weather today, suppose to get up to 46 F.
Watched Bruce Almighty last night. I liked it in spite of Jim Carrey, unmanageable lives, thinking we can do it better than God, and surrendering. Excellent topic for me
Alrighty I am at work so I will check in when I can, just wanted to get us started.
I have a very good weekend and did a good job staying away from the sweets. It's so much easier to say I don't eat that, than I don't eat much of that.
I am realizing though, that I might have to be a bit more honest when it comes to the CO aspect. There were times this weekend that I ate to eat and I know that is the addiction showing it's evil head.
Oh, girls... did I need the forum last night!
I've been taking this eating disorder thing very lightly, but last night I finally acknowledged that I DO have a problem!
I've been doing quite well my first two weeks back on South Beach, but yesterday morning I broke down and ate a bag of Bridge Mixture. Then I ate 4 chocolate chip granola bars. Then a big bowl of ice cream. Then my stomach really hurt, but I ate 4 more granola bars. Then two hot dogs. This was all on top of my regular meals. waaaaaaaaaaah! I was bawling my eyes out and thinking of "This is my disease", but it didn't stop me from eating. I've eaten much more than that in the past, but I was completely out of control, and all I could think of while I was eating was, "What shall I eat next!?"
Sorry... I'm whinging...
I'm going to have a nap... just got back from my psycho appointment (2 hours of walking on snow covered sidewalks) and I'm EXHAUSTED!
(((((Ellis)))) - Honey we have all done it, your going along fine on the latest "diet" and then all the sudden your cramming it in and thinking about the next thing you can eat. So why do you think you were eating like that? Feelings, stress, a food trigger? We need to find out so next time you can give whatever that is up to God instead of torturing yourself with it. I lvoe you Ellis. I only want to see you happy!
Hi Sandi- And a great big old ((((((((hug)))))))) for you too girl. I know the eating to eat thing. Since I eat mostly to cover my emotions (or lack thereof) what works for me is to eat on a schedule 3 meals and 1 snack a day. This is just what I do, what Sandi might need to do could be diffeent, but I thought I would give you something to think about.
Talked to my FP sponsor this morning, she thought I ate just fine the other day, and I shouldn't get so upset if I stray from my food plan as long as I continue to make loving food choices. I was only concerned because I thik I could have been tempted off the path of sanity if I did not have such a strong meeting, literature, phone call, and ya'll.
Okay I got to work
Make the rest of your day a HAPPY ONE!
Miss Chris
I didn't like not being able to get on here this morning!!
(((ellis))) -- Bless your heart! I'm sorry you had such a rough time yesterday. And like Chris said, been there, done that, have the t-shirt (size XXL). You are certainly NOT alone! I spent the better part of last week doing that very thing. Now that you are being honest with yourself, it can really start to get better. We're here for you, hun! (((more hugs)))
Sandi -- Glad you came back! Congrats on having a good weekend. Keep looking for the food plan that workds for you. I do 3 planned meals with a snack planned between breakfast and lunch and another between lunch and dinner. I only use those snacks if I have a true stomach growling physical hunger at those times. I found that if I didn't plan a snack and had one because of real hunger, it could trigger a binge because I felt I hadn't stuck perfectly to my food plan so why bother? I seldom need the morning snack, but usually have the afternoon one.
Miss Chris -- I envy you being able to post from work! The only computer in my classroom is some generic dinosaur. I have the internet, but can only access it if I wear an aluminum foil beanie and cross my eyes. I enjoyed your take on Bruce Almighty. I had heard it wasn't what it appeared from the title. Maybe we'll check it out, too.
A funny story...
I was reading all of the yoga stuff you guys posted yesterday. Hmmm...I have yoga videos, I think to myself. Wonder why I don't do those anymore? Those would be relaxing! 5:00 this morning and I pop out of the shower and come downstairs to do my 20 min. AM Yoga tape.
Ahhh...now I remember why I haven't done this in awhile! I'm a bit, shall we say, ROUND for some of those poses. I ordered Yoga for Dummies to have a DVD, but I was really searching for Yoga for Spheres. I can't imagine going to a class and attempting to do that! I would've been humiliated if my DH had walked in on that spectacle. BUT it was relaxing and it does count as exercise, right?
Note to online buddies...try to erase mental image of rotund, redheaded school teacher doing yoga in her disreputable sweats. Good luck!
Ellis - big {{{{hugs}}}}} to you. I think we've all been in your shoes at one time or another.
Sandi - "eating to eat"...story of my life! I second what Chris said. They call it "3-0-1" - three meals, no eating between meals, one snack. Like Christy, I also only eat the snack if I'm truly hungry (as in, tummy growling). Whatever you do needs to work for you, though.
Christy - ..."rotund, redheaded school teacher doing yoga in her disreputable sweats." Sounds like me, if I did yoga.
I had to add another food to my abstinence list: cappuchino and cappuchino-like drinks. I had a chai latte on Saturday, and it made me crave all kinds of sweets! Better safe than sorry....
Miss Chris and Christy, thank you so much for your replies. I feel like I can finally relate (not that I couldn't relate before, but now it's really "hit me") to what you've been talking about. It's like I really needed to let go. I know this hasn't cured me, but I feel a sense of release. Sort of.
I'm sorry, sweet Christy, but my mental image of you has been firmly planted.
The first time I took a yoga class (with my skinny minny daughter), I was the fattest one in the class. Yes, some of the poses WERE rather difficult, but our teacher (sweet young skinny thing) was VERY supportive. She told me I wasn't fat (hahahahahahahahahahaha!), and helped me with a few of the poses to make them more comfortable. But she didn't single me out... she would go around to each participant to help, so it wasn't obvious that I needed help because of my girth.
I like your planned snack idea. I always feel obliged to eat mine, but you're right... I should only eat it if I'm really in need of it.
Chris, you are such a good moderator. I love you, too, hon.
I felt stupid doing it, but I mentioned my new-found eating disorder to my psychiatrist this morning. We're working it into my therapy. The trouble with psychiatrists is that they're not overly ready with advice.
I've realized it's a pattern I've developed over the years (reading and eating at the same time), probably as an escapism. And right now, it's winter, I'm cold, short on sunlight, cranky as old heck, and have a chest cold/cough. So I'm seeking solace in food.
Well, this making me feel completely anal, but it's good for me, right?
I'm now inspired to read all of your posts more closely. (not that you're not all TERRIBLY interesting, but now I'm one of you. )
I gave a tour this afternoon up and down and round and round.
Ellis- Queen of the Bridgemix WELCOME! Ellis whatever you need hun! And that goes for all of you WE ARE HERE FOR EACH OTHER!
Jenelle- I got to watch tha stuff too, but mostly anything coffee and caffinated. I want it. I am so strict about my 2-3 cups a day, once I start to have more its like the food, I am off to the races.
Christy- YES IT COUNTS AS A WORKOUT! You got a wicked sense of humor, I love it. Yeah posting from work is great Can I go home yet? Nope 12 hours of work and off to the gym with me. Sometimes I envy you your day jobs, but hey at least I only work 14 days a month!
All righty I love ya'll and I do need to type of my notes which I have no enthusiasm for, but I will just give it to God and it will be okay
(((Ellis))) I am glad you're feeling better today. Have you ever made a list of trigger foods? I actually do not have any (at least, at this point) but I definitely have trigger BEHAVIORS. One of them is restricting myself (aka dieting). That guarantees COE on my part.I am so hard on myself and then I give up. So, I am now being much more laid back with myself (like I am with everyone else). And I stop trying to "be in control" and let HP control it for me. Works like a charm.
Chris - what do you do that's only 14 days per month? That sounds nice.
Jennelle - good for you for figuring out another possible trigger food! For New Years, one 2004 goal I made was the visit Starbucks only once a month (minus pure coffee or tea, which I do not sweeten). I like it over there a bit too much.
Christy - Good for you for doing the yoga! I'm sure you just have to do some modifications. Yoga Journal (I believe it was that magazine) had a whole article on yoga for people with some fluff on them. Maybe you can find it in your library? I think it was just a few months ago.
Sandi - Eating just to eat was so ME before program. That behavior defined me. So I can relate!
So my day went fine. I am planning to do a yoga workout tonight. My body is nice and sore from my workout yesterday. A good sore.
January 12 "Inner Harvest"
Hazelden Meditation Series
Follow your bliss.
What is your heart's desire? Perhaps you are afraid to identify and go after
it. Perhaps your think you won't be able to have it for some reason.
Those of us who were binge eaters may have thought that food was our heart's
desire. But was it? We need to ask ourselves was it food, or was food a
substitute for what we wanted but thought we couldn't or shouldn't have?
Those of us who starved ourselves or who purged possibly thought that a
socially acceptable body pointed the way to bliss. But did it? We need to
ask ourselves if we thought that having a perfect body was the only way we
would be acceptable--to ourselves as well as to others.
We know now that overeating is not bliss. Starvation and purging are not
bliss either. We now have the opportunity to pursue our desires until we
discover what brings happiness. Our search has led us to the Steps, and the
Steps point to a spiritual reality that can illuminate our journey.
Abstinence clears away the depression and inertia that prevented us from
identifying and going after our deepest heart's desire. We can follow our
bliss.
Good concept, Kat! I'll have to look into those modifications. I have enough fluff to make things difficult for awhile. I signed up for the meditation list you posted yesterday. Great stuff. Thanks!
Chris -- 14 DAYS PER MONTH! Are you serious? Wow. I would own up to being jealous, but no one wants to here THAT from someone who has the whole summer off. (Did I mention that when I am at work I am the constant companion of 18 squirming nine year olds? Love them....really I do! Seriously...no sarcasm!)
Jennelle & Ellis -- Hi!
I'm off to work on my first writing assignment from my real live online sponsor! Yay me!
Daily Chat: 12 Jan 04 Monday Musings
I enjoyed your take on Bruce Almighty. I had heard it wasn't what it appeared from the title. Maybe we'll check it out, too.
I can't imagine going to a class and attempting to do that! I would've been humiliated if my DH had walked in on that spectacle. BUT it was relaxing and it does count as exercise, right? 
I second what Chris said. They call it "3-0-1" - three meals, no eating between meals, one snack. Like Christy, I also only eat the snack if I'm truly hungry (as in, tummy growling). Whatever you do needs to work for you, though.
Sounds like me, if I did yoga. 
Better safe than sorry....
Good Evening!
