Scratching the fast food 'itch'... until it bleeds?
I have just moved to a new town, new university, new apartment (with my boyfriend, for the first time) and you could definitely say I've been stressed. I've gained the freshman 15 and then some, even though I'm a junior. And I've noticed the re-emerging of a familiar old enemy--the need to not only eat, but binge on, fast-food. This is me at the very peak of my binging cycle. I feel like I can never start losing weight, never kick the habit of inhaling fatty foods, never break the cycle. I believe it has something to do with the addictive chemicals added by fast-food restaurants to their food, but that can only explain a small part of it. The majority of my problem is definitely my binging disorder.
It's like I can't control myself- my boyfriend goes to work and it starts. If he doesn't take the car, which I usually push him to do, I drive into town and go to Taco Bell or Wendy's or Checkers, whatever's easy and close. At Taco Bell, for instance, I'll order a #7 (chicken quesadilla and a taco, and of course a DIET pepsi), nachos and cheese, a steak soft taco, a caramel apple empanda, maybe more. If he does take the car I might order in, if I can't fight myself. Or I just eat everything 'good' in the house.
But the compulsion to go and get as much fast food as I can possibly eat (and usually more than I can eat) is so intense. I'm just wondering if anyone else is having this problem or has had it, and how they ignored it or dealt with it. I feel like that's the first step in breaking the destructive cycle, is just to break it. But I've broken it before and here I am again. 101st time's the charm?
My best defense against is distraction! Make a list of the things you can do besides binge, maybe go for a walk or watch tv, look around for inspirational stories on this website, paint your nails, clean.. Really anything that can get you distracted. It also helps me to plan ahead with healthy meals and snacks that I know I can have that will still fit into the alloted calories for the day!
i've struggled with binging on fast food for a couple of years now, and the desire to do so has never really gone away. I think I have some amount of control now, it's been about 4 months since i've binged on fast food. I think what has changed is i'm now at the lowest weight i've ever been, and I feel pretty good overall. I just know I can't go back to my old ways, and I know that food tastes soo good, but it's not comparable to how good I feel when I have a cute outfit on that actually looks good.
I also have a serious serious fast food problem. When I first moved into my boyfriend's house and started college and work I was eating fast food three times a day, literally. I just moved back into my mom's and quit my job, but the fast food itch has never gone away. BUT, There is hope.
As of yesterday, I started making strict food plans the night before based on the food I had in the house. I made sure there was enough food there, not worrying about calories or anything. I slipped up today, and ate a take out burrito, but in comparison to the day before that it was a HUGE HUGE HUGE improvement.
I'm looking at it like I'm a recovering drug addict. I can't go near those types of places anymore, because I kNOW I'm going to talk myself out of my diet and binge on fat and lard and salt. The best thing to do is to remove the temptation completely. I'm going to try my hardest to stick to my food plan tomorrow, and I'm taking it one minute at a time, just like a drug addict.
You should be my blog's friend!! http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/khallelu/
I'll check yours out, we have the same goals and starting point! And obviously the same fast food problem. Good luck, girl.
Last edited by KoriHallelujah; 10-29-2010 at 01:25 AM.
@KoriHallelujaha- yeah I don't even remember what my last post was on that blog haha. But, thanks for reminding me. I'm going to start writing in it again and I'll definitely check out your friend's blog. We should definitely keep in touch during our long, painful, onderful journey haha
@therex- I definitely know what you mean. When I'm actually going strong on my diet and looking good, I laugh in the face of taco bell no way is it worth it. Unfortunately, I'm at my highest weight right now and very muchstuck in the binging cycle. But remembering what you're talking about and feeling that way is what gives me faith that I can do it all again and even better. thanks
Put a pause in the cycle. Literally, carry around a kitchen timer or stop watch and see how long you can go from the first moment of impulse to giving in, or getting past it. During that pause, think about the thoughts you are having as though you were outside - looking in. Don't be judgmental or negative, just look at the words you use to convince yourself and what words might work to slow down the impulse.
I sat outside a grocery store once, at 1 am, with my kitchen timer and made myself wait 25 minutes before going in. I realized how crazy my behavior was and went home.The more times you are able to stop the event, the more you gain confidence in your ABILITY to make a decision and that it isn't as out of control as you once thought.
elisaannh- That sounds like a really good idea. I have had that dark moment of truth in the parking lot before. It's usually those moments that propel me into 'good behavior,' but I've had trouble making that good behavior stick lately. I feel like... if I don't eat something I have a craving for, I'll forget to eat it, and that would be the worst thing ever. I am continually compelled to eat, and think of new things to eat, and 'treat myself' three times a day (or more). But I think really looking deep into myself and trying to call myself on what's really going on with me is going to help. I'm also thinking about taking advantage of the Health Center at my university for some talk therapy with a psychologist about my unhealthy relationship with food. I'm just not sure it's totally within my control right now, and I need all the help I can get to rein it in. But that picture of you sitting in the car with the kitchen timer is really poignant to me, because I feel like that's my whole life, or at least my whole dieting life-- sitting there white-knuckled waiting for the buzzer, and then hopefully realizing first that I'm being a little crazy and I need to go home. It's like (if I'm not being too wacky and abstract with the metaphors) I don't know how to get home. I'm forever stuck there in the parking lot, looking in at all the bright colorful packages of food and being drawn like a moth to the flame. There is no home for me right now where I'm safe from that urge, and it's very much like floating out in space without anything to grab ahold of.
Thanks for the food for thought
One additional idea, which I've been working on. In that time while you are waiting, write down somewhere exactly what you are feeling. Not just your desire for the food, but your physical & emotional state - tired, lonely, sad, nervous, etc.
The write down 1-2 things OTHER than eating that could help with your current state - take a long shower, read a book, call a friend, get some rest, have a good cry, etc.
I don't think this stops the cycle immediately, but over time you can review those entries & hopefully begin to see some patterns. When you aren't in the middle of it, it may become easier then to formulate a plan for those high-trigger moments.
Wishing you all the best. It sounds like a LOT of change all at one time. We are all here to support you!
i am addicted to fast food. today was the first day on my "diet" and i have been craving EVERYTHING. it also doesn't help that eating healthy makes me feel like i haven't eaten anything all day. i have that constant hunger pain in my stomach, it won't leave me alone! i just want to give up and go to wendys or del taco...
I would eat fast food 5-8X a week, often buying it for my kids too I started WW 7.5 weeks ago and the closest thing I have had since then is Subway. Before that it was all McDonalds, Wendys, and anywhere else greasy and terrible. I am too weak still to go back near there even once for a 'treat' as it will send me on a down hill spiral I am sure of it. Makes me wonder about addictive additives too...hmmm
I used to eat fast food all the time, then I just found it in me to quit, and quit eating meat. I got extremely dedicated to it. And now I'm able to drive my friends to Taco Bell, get fast food for them, and leave without even considering getting anything. Just stick to it!
I'd really recommend reading the book "The End of Overeating" by David Kessler. It is really a fantastic book that talks about this very issue. Fast food companies spend millions of dollars making highly palatable foods that combine sugar, fat, and salt in ways that alter the brain chemistry and keep us hooked.
There are strategies to overcome this. You are not alone. I too used to binge on taco bell.
True story: At taco bell, I used to order 2 soft tacos and 1 bean burrito and then order 2 soft tacos with refried beans instead of meat so it would look like I was getting it for another person. Sometimes I'd even order two drinks just to make it seems like all that food wasn't just for me.
ok first, as rockinrobin would say, you don't 'treat' yourself to fast food. we deserve to be healthy, and that is where the joy is. paraphrasing of course. matt and rockinrobin's stories and many others are worth reading. great inspiration. many peple have beat the addiction and so can you!
IOWL inside out weight loss listen to it. it's a free podcast.
almost always, if it can't be bought at the grocery store i have zero interest. we use a link card so buying anything in cash is not even thought of as an option most of the time in my brain. i do still love papa john's pizza. and there is alot of unhealthy junk available at the grocery store. even with all healthy food in the house, i'll binge on anything. also, i don't have a driver's license, so driving anywhere isn't even an option mentally, but like i said, there's lots of ways to get unhealthy food. what really helps me to keep from binging is
1. consistent exercise. i think intense cardio is the best for this, but whatever works for you. then when i'm eating, i'm careful not to undo my cal. i just burned.
2. counting. at first it might be counting minutes as suggested. then counting days. we have a no binging thread going, feel free to pop in there for support or ideas or anything. knowing i have to tell people i have to start on day 1 would be embarrassing, making me think twice about it.
when there's a really unhealthy food tempting me, i think of how much progress i've made, or just how proud i'll feel to tell someone on these boards i passed it up! that nsv is a great feeling. i imagine how much fat that food will add to me, and how i'll feel sick afterwards. maybe you could do some research. 1 peice of papa john's pizza was 14g of fat if i remember right. what about 3 slices? and the next day? if i had known that, i don't think i would choose to eat that much, even when i wasn't trying really hard to lose weight.
just yesterday i passed up corndogs. i remember the last time i ate one, my stomach hurt from all that grease, and i just felt so fat. i was thinking yesterday, proud, i think it's been 7 months since i've had a corn dog. i'm not completely sure, that's just from memory. in march i started working on losing weight, getting healthy. sure i've eaten stuff in that time, but it's great to make progress over time. and we just have to think about if eating the food is 'worth' it. most of the time, it isn't.
Talking with a therapist is a really good idea. The best ones don't necessarily give you answers, but they know exactly what questions to ask. You already have the answers.
Can you tell yourself you can eat anything you want as long as you do in front of your boyfriend or with other friends? Taking away the "secret" aspect is very powerful. I bought a new car last year; my rule is "I don't eat in my car." And I don't - ever. That simple change put a quick stop to cruising through the fast-food dives for "a snack." And my car still looks like new...how good is that?
I wish you every success.
Last edited by sandyfanny; 10-30-2010 at 09:05 PM.
oh jeez guys, thanks for all the replies.
@Matt, I have ABSOLUTELY done that, a few times. I'm so freaked out for people to even suspect that I would eat that much food, so I try to phrase it as if it's two seperate orders, or I'll even go so far as to get two drinks. Jeez. Isn't it crazy how our brains work sometimes? at least we're aware of it now and you've obviously learned how to overcome it. You look great!
I'm munching on some Steamers Broccoli and Cheese--I could do without the cheese, but I feel great because a few days ago it would have been macaroni and cheese or, worse, a whole cheese pizza. Little steps We have been making trips between where we live and our hometown (about 300 miles) all month because my boyfriend is doing a big haunted house up there. Every weekend we go up, on our way home we stop somewhere and get food. Well, today we both kind of shrugged it off and kept moving, and it was fabulous even though I'd already planned what healthy thing I would get wherever we went (can't stop the compulsive thoughts, just redirect them so far haha). Yesterday, I had pizza because it was easy for five of us, but didn't have dessert, and then we went to an antique auction where they served some veggies and cheese and meatballs, snack food. I had a small plate and a glass of punch. After that, we went to this wonderful restaurant that I LOVE and that is only in our hometown, Aretha Frankenstein's (they're famous for their pancakes, and the local grocery stores sell a mix of their recipe). Not only did I NOT get pancakes OR a buritto, I satisfied myself with two expensive, yummy non-fat cafe lattes with splenda and four shots of espresso each (yikes right? I thought it was only three, and that was a crazy amount) I didn't even have a beer. I can probably attribute the coffee to why I felt utterly terrible this morning and was much more eager than normal to pass up the fast food.
But again, small victories. I already feel great. I've planned out my food for the day and I'm still way under calories (around 800). I feel totally safisfied with what I've already had to eat today, and it's already nearly 3pm. I DON'T feel quite as bloated, miserable, depressed, stressed out, etc. I spent most of the car-ride home thinking about how I'm going to be able to remind myself when I'm in the throes of a binge cycle how I feel now. All of your suggestions are very helpful, and I am going to start applying them regularly, but what I know about myself is that I can have the greatest plan in the world, and if something triggers me it all blows away in the wind. I know I should go for a job instead of binging, but I have no desire to apply that knowledge and save myself. So I guess what I'm really working on this time around is learning about myself as I go, identifying triggers and trying to discover why they are so strong, and how I can approach them with indifference or at least control. I think therapy will really help me discover these things, as well as all the wonderful help available here at 3FC.
@sandyfaunny- I can't quite make the commitment to only eat with other people, because I'm usually running between classes or at home doing tons of reading for school during the day, while my boyfriend is working. These times I just have to be alone because I have to concentrate and work, but I know definitely that that is a trigger time for me. I can plan my meals more around my boyfriend's break, so that we eat together (I sometimes eat before he gets home and then with him ugh). But even deeper than that, I'm going to try to learn to enjoy the feeling of being alone and in control, because I do get a panicky restless feeling when I'm alone (even though I very much enjoy 'me time') that drives me to obsess and eventually go out and binge or just go to the kitchen to binge. I really want to work on figuring out why.
THis has been very long and all about me, so kudos to any of you who actually made it to the end haha. I'm trying to keep myself accountable, and I'm probably going to search out a good accountability group on the boards. I'm also trying to figure out how to get back into my blog, which I haven't used for several months (oops). THank you all so much for reading, and for the great advice. I'm so excited to be headed back in the right direction again (especially since I weighed in this morning at my all-time high, TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE POUNDS! There, now the world knows. I have to do something about it.
Scratching the fast food 'itch'... until it bleeds?
at least we're aware of it now and you've obviously learned how to overcome it. You look great!