I am not sure why Tues are soooo hard for me!!! They have been for years! Recently (Fall 2009) they became THE binge day... My oldest son goes to Beavers and my youngest (20 months) HATES going back in the car and not staying with his brother. So he pitches fits. I had started going to the grocery store during beavers for something to do (youngest gets a cookie at the grocery store and stops screaming!).
Well, that turned into - what can I buy and eat before I pick up my oldest? And that escalated into - what can I buy now and for after I pick him up... we are talking probably 3000-4000 calories consumed in about 1 hour, easily!!!
So I am on day 38 without a binge right now... and it is tues... and i see beavers staring me in the face... so i will do what i did the last few times... drop the oldest off and take the youngest for a car ride to the gas station/car wash and then drive around like a goof for the remaining time, just to avoid going near ANY food!!!
I have to 'chuckle' because you'd think I could just drive home (it is all of 5 min away!) but that is no better... and with the youngest, he tends to pitch a fit every time we leave ANYWHERE so a library doesnt work either... so i end up spending lots of gas on an hour tour of the neighborhood... maybe i will try going home again tonight and jsut going straight to the computer (little one LOVES youtube) and simply put up with the 'leaving' fuss he'll cause... (after all, it is only me there to hear it)...
I appreciate your post - and support - I really need a 'safe place' and am desperate for it to be my own home!! Patience is a virtue and I have to remember that moments pass quickly...I can do this... I know I can... I want so badly to say I made it 45 days this time!!! (soooo close!)
I have to 'chuckle' because you'd think I could just drive home (it is all of 5 min away!) but that is no better... and with the youngest, he tends to pitch a fit every time we leave ANYWHERE so a library doesnt work either... so i end up spending lots of gas on an hour tour of the neighborhood... maybe i will try going home again tonight and jsut going straight to the computer (little one LOVES youtube) and simply put up with the 'leaving' fuss he'll cause... (after all, it is only me there to hear it)...
I appreciate your post - and support - I really need a 'safe place' and am desperate for it to be my own home!! Patience is a virtue and I have to remember that moments pass quickly...I can do this... I know I can... I want so badly to say I made it 45 days this time!!! (soooo close!)
How did it go yesterday?
I wish I had any helpful advice to give, but I don't. I've never been binge free for that long, but I keep hoping that I will get out of the habit after 6weeks. That's what it takes to break a habit, after what I have read. Looks like you're pretty close to 6weeks!
well, i wish i lived near a mall, that would make it easier for sure...thanks for the suggestion! closest thing i could walk around is the grocery store
i made it through yesterday by doing my driving trick again... but the important thing is that I MADE IT THROUGH!!! I am still binge free...
Your post caught my eye...for some reason Tuesdays are always my hardest day too. Not sure why. I almost caved yesterday...but I actually went to the grocery store to keep myself busy...lol. I got mostly healthy stuff, although I did get ingredients to make decorated sugar cookies for Valentines treats for Church...I won't make them until the day before.
I think Tuesdays are tricky for me because I usually do really good over the weekend, and then I start feeling sorry for myself, and I know I have a few days until weigh day....(and no one is home.)
Anyway I have no words of wisdom, just wanted to let you know that Tuesdays are my sucky days too. We rock for not falling off the wagon!
Lizaly! Thank you soooo much... I woke up today and realised Yup, its tuesday again... Yup, i feel like binging and it is only 6am!!! So far so good... today is day 45 without a binge and I will NOT let a Tues get the best of me!!!
Tonight I am going home while my son is at beavers.... (with my youngest)... I can do this!!! I can go home... it can be safe... it doesnt have to be a binge... I know when they go to bed I will get a call from my boyfriend and my evening will pass... and I will accomplish something I havent done in a really long time... 45 days!!!
Thank you soooo much for the support! I hope your tues is rockin' !
45days is SO awesome!! And I know you can get through today safely! Just think of how great you will feel tomorrow morning when you gonna wake up on d46!
My day is almost over since we're 6h ahead. I'm excited about being on day 21 tomorrow. That'll be 3 whole binge free weeks if I stay on the wagon and I am gonna stay on there for sure!
Lizaly - THANK YOU!!!! I cannot tell you how much your post means to me... how being accountable to people (and myself!) has helped me get to day 45... it is amazing knowing people, 1/2 around the world!, are struggling, sharing and caring in the same way...
We ROCK!!! Lets get to tomorrow and the next day and the next and totally loose count of when Day 1 was!!!
so here i am, at home, with my youngest on my lap watching youtube (he is not even two! ha ha ha) and my oldest is at beavers and it is taking every ounce of willpower to not put him down to go over and get the chocolate or cookie or rice-cakes or or or BINGE and BINGE like i normally would be right now... ironically i am feeling very sick right now (tummy feels yucky - not sure if it is a cold or flu or what)... not sure if anyone else gets this but when i feel sick to my stomach i actually want to binge MORE... like it will somehow make me feel better...
well, this is me ranting and writing to try to keep myself busy... 30 more min and i can get my oldest, home for bedtime then i put aside enough calories for some SF choco pudding when they are in bed... single serving size so no binging... i want to earn day 45....
(btw - my 20 month old LOVES black eyed peas - and flo rider... oh, i'm a bad mommy ! ha ha ha)
We ROCK!!! Lets get to tomorrow and the next day and the next and totally loose count of when Day 1 was!!!
oh yeah, loosing count of the days should be our ultimate goal. And I'm sure we can get there.
Personally, I can't tell if I won't fall off the wagon yet again. It's not likely to happen at the moment, but you never know.
However, those (almost) 3 binge free weeks give me so much confidence. If I ever fall again, I won't beat myself up that much and I wouldn't feel as bad and helpless as before. Because I have proven to myself that I can stay binge free for a longer period of time. And the folks on this forum are so incredibly encouraging and supportive. I think being accountable is what makes the difference for me this time.
I hope you made it safely through the rest of the day yesterday! This certainly was a BIG step and it was a first time and first times are hardest!
Thank you soooo much for the support yesterday!! I did make it... it was soooooooo hard but I did it!!!!!!!
I am on day 46 - YA ME!!!
Now, i am going to try to stop counting... going to try to let that part go... will mark 60 and 90 days in my calendar and see if letting this go will help me even more... (after letting go of rigorous food planning and the scale obsession already)....
Tuesdays are the hardest!
