Ok, one summer down at college I got this new boss who was TOTALLY hot and I do mean too hot to touch. OUCH! Anyway... Well actually, this could be a really really long story. Cause I interviewed him that spring and drove him to the airport and everything and just HAD to know more about him. So one day, after he had accepted the job and I was working in my boss's office.... I saw a paper with his name and email address on it. It was an AOL address. So I made myself an alias and kind of chatted him up via AOL instant messenger... making it seem like I was trying to find an old friend. Well... he TOTALLY fell in love with me over the internet prior to actually coming to work at my college.... and I still hadn't told him who I really was. So, he gets to campus and I immediately decide that, if he fell in love with me via the internet, he can do so in person... RIGHT? Wrong.
He told the girl (I called myself Gina) that I was "the definition of plain" and he was "totally not attracted to me". OUch. Add that in to the fact that it was my 22nd birthday and he and I and another boss of mine were heading out to the bars that night. Well, I was so upset I got WASTED and I do mean WASTED. In the back seat of Karen's (my boss) car... I threw up alllllll over myself. Now, this guy being the gentleman that he is took me back to my apt and helped clean me up and I'm still terribly drunk and I blurt out "Why do you think I'm the definition of plain?" YOu should have seen the look on his face.
This started a looooooooooong akward conversation where he felt bad and was really angry too.... we started yelling at each other and ended up totally making out all night long. We remained friends after that but that was the only thing that ever happened between us.
When DH and I were dating, we had gone to a restaurant for some margaritas. Well, tequila has a funny effect on me and when we left to go back home, he let me in the driver's side and then walked around to get into the passenger side. As he was getting in, I pulled my shrit off and threw it at him. He was mildly amused so I decided that wasn't good enough. I whipped my bra off and threw that at him, too. Then I made the 5 minute drive home topless and waving happily at anyone who happened to notice.
DH was astounded. All he could say was OMG OMG over and over.
This thread is making me take much to hard a look at my past! I had no idea what an exhibisionist I was...
Ok, underage at school in Mempis, TN during the summer (special program) We decided late one night to head over the the college pool and see if it was open. Well, it wasn't open, but it did have a very climbable fence and since we didn't happen to bring our suits I coaxed everyone into jumping in anyway fully clothed. However, after just a few minutes the clothes of course were waterlogged and I led the team (students and counselors) in the skinny dip strip! It was all rather fun until it got into the wee hours of the morning and cars started driving by (including the security vehicle for the campus). Needless to say I'm sure it was an interesting sight to see people climbing the fence holding their clothes dripping wet. And it was definitely an interesting car ride home trying to put on wet clothes and avoid campus security!!!
I have several worst of the worst tales but this is the only one I am willing to share at this time.
Lets give you some defining history. My DH and I have been together on and off for some 14+ years, we have 2 kids that were born well before we ever got married and our history in the first 5 years of our relationship was very rocky.
DH and I were going to a going away party for a manager from the store we both worked at. The party was at a girls house I had gone to highschool with and there were a bunch of people there from work all of which we knew in some manner of speaking. Well the girl who was throwing the party had recently broken up with her boyfriend who lets say was a fine specimen of man flesh 6'9 and extremely good looking. Well he and I had on multiple occasions flirted and exchanged suggestive remarks so on and so forth. Well the evening started out fine DH and I drinking screwdrivers, mingling, having a good ole'time. Well, I don't drink well and once I get to the tipsy point, stopping just doesn't seem like a good idea anymore. DH decides to sit down and talk to some friend while I decide to continue to mingle. I run into girls ex, outside and he and I start chatting... chatting leads to kissing and well... that is when DH decides to come looking for me. Finds me sitting in this dudes lap lip-locked.... DH tells me it is time to go and I tell him I will find a way home... Lets put it gently- that didn't fly! Well, I left and glad I that I did, we went home- I passed out... Felt like crap the next day- because I remembered everything that happened... I stayed in bed for most of the day trying to sleep it off. DH called every 15 minutes from work, to ask me how I was feeling... vengence was sweet.
I have several other's that are this bad or worse and well they all seem to revolve around alcohol.
You guys remember me telling you about that girl last week that told me she was in love with me? Well the next day, my DH informed me that I was making out with her at the bar that night.
OMG I freaked out!!! I've kissed girls - not a big deal to me. But not while married! I was terrified that he was angry at me. He laughed and told me he'd been trying to take pictures with his camera-phone but that it was too dark. Men!!!!!!!
These stories are killing me here, I love them! I'm such a miss-goody-two-shoes apparently - no stories like these! Although, it probably helps that I've never been really drunk (perhaps never drunk at all, not sure where the 'line' is). I suppose I can live out my inner naughtiness vicariously through you.
Sometimes I think my firmly held belief that if I don't have enough good stories to keep people occupied for days by the time I'm 60 means I haven't lived enough is going to get me in trouble
Ok, here's another kissy one.
I was out playing with 3 of my gay boys, another straight girl, and the mother of one of the guys. We started out drinking at the guys house, then all hopped into a cab and went clubbing.
The first place was pretty tame - we had mom with us after all. But after a couple of hours there, we were all liquored up enough to go to the strip bar down the street (remember the g-string one I told you about?)
Well, the other girl and I went to go dance. So the guys and mom are standing around and all of a sudden mom looks over at the two of us dancing and starts laughing and pointing. Well, my Nathan goes racing over to us, because her and I are kissing in the middle of the dance floor!
He demanded to know what the **** we were doing. We replied by drunkenly pointing around the room and explaining that we just wanted to torture the boys. He had to explain to us that the boys were all gay and could care less if two girls were kissing.
We both just went "oh!" and went back to hanging out with everyone like nothing had ever happened.
Okay, I've got more drunken-idiot stories than most, so I figure it's time to share something. The summer before last I was up in the country with a couple of girl friends and my cousin. One of the friend's family has a house down the block from ours. Our house is right on the beach, which is usually completely empty at night. So we decided to have a girly night of drinking on the beach.
It was a goregous, warm night, and after a couple of 40s girly drunkeness turned into skinny dipping. But just for me. Seems like the others decided to stay dry and clothed on the shore. So I was in the lake, yelling for everyone else to get into the water. But after a while I got bored swimming around by myself so I got out. My friend's brother and a few of his (male) friends had shown up, all compeltely inebriated as well. What can I say, there's not much to do in the country at night. I'm not an overwhelmingly modest person, especially while drunk. So instead of putting on clothes, I just got out of the lake and went to go sit on the beach with everyone else, completely in the buff.
At this point the night becomes quite hazy, but from what has been reconstructed, my cousin (light-weight that she is) wound up puking on the floor of my room, and since I was too drunk to clean it up, and all the beds in my house were full, I walked a block down the street to my friends house and got into the guest bed. Unfortunately, they had guests as well, and one of my friend's brother's friends was already in it. But at that point I guess all potential for movement had left me and I woke up there the next morning, still relatively un-clothed, very embarrassed, and extrememly hungover.
I don't think I've ever quite lived down my entire naked evening. I'm just glad everyone else was as drunk as I was and I've got the dirt on them too.
I suppose I can live out my inner naughtiness vicariously through you. 
OMG that's funny!
