Hi coaches... checking in for today. Yesterday was a healthful day... I am so grateful. That makes four days. YAY.
It seems that when I get back to my plan, etc - after an off period of time - that I kind of ease back into my healthy living goals. First the food part & then the writing part, and then the behavior goas. I guess that it's my path back to any semblance of food sanity. I am grateful.
Well, here I sit in JFK waiting a new record of 8 hours for my flight. Here is my big credit. I have my yoga mat. So instead of being incredibly uncomfortable sitting in chairs for 8 hours and then sit in an airplane for 6 hours, I found a secluded corner at my gate and unrolled the mat. I did my stretches, ordered some Bach on iTunes, lay on my belly answering emails and now I well spread out and watch a movie.
This is what I know:
No one is watching me. They may look over briefly but I am just not that important. I put the words "improper", "lady like", and "decorum" away. It is like the days I would refuse myself a swim in my beloved ocean because I was too fat to fit into a bathing suit. Moments lost are never regained. I will lose no more minutes to vanity.
I feel like a "swami" cross legged on my mat and that is who I am at the moment. I have rarely been "diverse" in my whole life. I fit in, I conform. I have even cast a few judgemental glares at "tree huggers" but the truth is I must remain true to myself. If I am doing something no one else is, I am not automatically wrong. I might be on to something.
Bet your bottom dollar there isn't another near fifty year old woman in the lotus position on a yoga mat in this airport. Women my age suffer from doubt, from loss of power now that we are not young and "sexy". Now that we don't count. I see a teenage girl sitting cross legged in front of me, giggling with her friends. I can have that, too. It is only lost if I allow it to be lost.
As for food, I brought a sandwich from the commons, some fruit and granola. I bought some cheese and will breakdown and buy something from the vendors here. I think a sushi roll or stir fry.
Evening check ijn before bed and my early day tomorrow to get to the market. Credit for weighing in, credit for dishes done, credit for planning and recording my food and sticking to it. I am day 2 on plan for my sister's challenge. The market will be tough but I'll get through.
My client emailed me back and he loved the preliminary design for that commission. In fact he wants a few more characters so it's all cha-ching+ now. Such a great project. Can't wait to tell you about it but I can't yet...
Must go. TGIF. DH started his 2 weeks of holidays today. He's already a changed man, and I am sure he'll be until 3 or 4am.
Yesterday's Mantra was "That's not about me - today's has been "Food won't fix sad." It was a rough day at the hospital for my mom - it looks like there is probably a rehab center in our future - and I came out the last time and just wanted to dive into something sweet and creamy. But I thought about the line so many of you use: Food won't fix tired and I thought, I wonder what will fix sad? Well, turns out shopping won't either, but it did divert me from eating until I was ready to go fix dinner for Dad. Stuck with other rules, mostly. I should explain that each rule has a specific exception, and the one for booze is "No booze, except for one drink on Friday nights." So I had a beer on the deck with Dad and called it good.
My Cardio "Rules" are 1)Move: just do it!" 2) Push yourself each time and 3) Rack up miles and minutes. I had planned to bike or walk every other day, alternating with PT strength. I biked Weds, walked yesterday, and just didn't get out the door before dark tonight. But I guess I can count the 15 minute ride back from the bike repair shop this morning, right? So I'm still mostly on track! Credit, credit, and credit!!!
Tomorrow: 1- do Mom's last set of exercises earlier so there's time to ride before dark. 2-ask the bike shop guy where to go besides just through the neighborhoods 3-take snack food with to hospital so I don't get caught w/ low blood sugar
Diet Coaches/Buddies - Good eating day, CREDIT moi, helped because we went to our community garden after dinner on the patio. We pulled down the dead Sugar Snaps, planted cukes, and harvested greens: lettuce of three types, mustard greens, and collard greens. Tomato plants are growing but no hint yet of produce coming. DW wouldn't quit until 9pm when we could no longer see. I thought we'd already pulled all the weeds last week so was resentful that so many were back.
A leap second will be added to clocks at midnight Greenwich Time tonight - 8pm E.T. By my personal reckoning, no diet book covers that second, so all foods are zero calories during that time. Eat whatever you can stuff in one second and enjoy, LOL.
After gym, CREDIT moi, my walk to the library picked up a book I'd reserved for DW about the geology of Yellowstone National Park area. Apparently, I'm three massive volcanic eruptions away from knowing about that part of the world - just fascinating. All three were large enough to dwarf Krakatoa.
onebyone – Good luck at your market today - hope this heat wave has passed by so folks will be in a buying mood. Congrats on getting your paying customer excited about the work you're making.
Nature Girl – Sending supportive thoughts for your mom's recovery. Kudos for sticking to your 4 rules during a trying time. Yay for a repaired bike to give you different scenery.
Beverlyjoy – "YAY" indeed for four days in a row, nicely easing yourself back to "food sanity."
maryann - Love the image of you and the teenage girl sitting cross legged at JFK airport. Eight hours is long enough to establish residence. Kudos for behaving like a human instead of prowling the fast food places for amusement.
Readers -
Quote:
chapter 6Stage 3The Challenging Situations Plan Confidently Follow Your Plan While Traveling
The Travel Calories Decision.
Once you figure out the best rule for you, I think you'll find it a big relief to have a plan that keep you in control, minimizes weight gain, and leaves you feeling good about yourself throughout every trip you take in the future.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., The Complete Beck Diet for Life (Green book), pg 160.
Me, recovering from my "weekend". We came back over the hill last night and I'm prepping for work. I had a somewhat "crappy" day yesterday....DH and his DD are mad at me for different reasons (I think) but it seems to be tensions regarding the upcoming baby, finding a car and DH's injury. This is not about me.
What I am about, is checking in here every day and following my food plan.
~ I will go enjoy coffee and pack my lunch for work....that's a start.
~I will try and email the exwife and kindly explain my position and suggest that we just "drop" the details of this vehicle transaction until after the baby is born and she (the ex) is down here.
~I will write a plan (by the refridge) for dinner while making my smoothie.
MaryAnn, kudos for such a great moment in time in a crowded airport. That sounds like one for your memory box.
BBE, yay for OP dining on the patio!
onebyone, good luck at the market! I love the sound of your new commission. Kudos for attacking those dishes!
NatureGirl, with my DH's recent injury, I really relate to how you are feeling right now. One day at a time is all we can do here. It seems the first 10 days post surgery are very difficult, especially when they don't keep the patient in the hospital any more. DH's surgery was outpatient and 5 hours later we were home, on our own, trying to decide what to do next. Kudos for taking care of yourself during this time.
Beverlyjoy, yay for healthy eating and a plan to continue.
I am back safe and sound at home. Long, long day. Credit for food choices. I sent back the sesame chicken I ordered. The menu never said it was fried. They made a stir fry instead. The calories for the day were still high. I won't weigh myself until tomorrow because of traveling, etc... Today's plan is to take it easy, do some of my required reading, do laundry and get ready to head up to Taho for the fourth weekend.
I will head to the store to get fresh fruits and veggies.
Lexxiss: That is a huge bummer when extended family vibes are funky. Credit for realizing you can only do what you can do. BBE: Regarding extra second of free for all - Some thinking is sicker than others - but I like it.
MaryAnn, I love the image of you in the airport doing yoga. How empowering.
BBE, I was trying to figure out what I could eat in that second...lol
onebyone, Things are going so wonderful for you. Yeah. I hope the market was successful for you.
NatureGirl, Hugs to you. It sounds like a very trying time for you. Great job taking care of yourself.
Beverlyjoy,Yeah for 4 days on plan. You are doing great.
Debbie, Hugs to you...I hope it all gets worked out to your satisfaction. Sometimes dealing with others can be difficult. Way to go realizing it is not about you.
Have a great evening everyone. My eating has been on plan today. It is very hot here. I hope they get the power back to all the people with no power during this heat.
Take Care
Ann
not eating a darn thing at the farmers' market today
not buying anything truly tempting to bring home
planning my water for a hot market day by freezing a 1.5l bottle (unopened from the store) in the freezer and drinking it as it melted so it was re-freshingly cold-old market trick but requires PLANNING
tracking everything I have eaten
choosing to eat only the "recommended serving size" of something that turned out, after I ate it, to be SO NOT WORTH IT, but I stayed on track due to my willingness to have the rec. serving only THANK GOODNESS.
for finally playing with my India Ink and trying a technique I saw another artist use over 10yrs ago. Sometimes i wait FOREVER to do stuff i want to do-credit for no longer waiting on this one
clean sink today-did dishes last night and put them away
weighed this morning: 254.3 so amazed not to see that 2-5-5 number.
stayed within my daily points yesterday - on track to stay within my daily points today as well
credit for submitting an application for another art residency for Sept or Oct 2013 with OVER AN HOUR TO SPARE!! Usually I am scrambling minutes before the deadline.
It's been a long time since I checked in. I'd love to say things are going great but that would not be true. Weighing daily and it's slowly creeping up. I have not written a food plan since the middle of June, my Zumba classes are over, I have not been on my bike. Not making good food choices and seem to be stuck in a rut.
I'm not sure which food plan I want to follow, I've been reading a lot of different books lately, all with "the best plan ever" theme, and can't even pick one to follow. I'll think "this one looks good, but I don't like that about it, how about this one?", then there will be something about that one I don't like. I think the biggest thing is that I just need to take some time, make at least some dinner menus, shop for that food and do some prep. Maybe it's even making big batches of recipes that I can freeze in individual servings so I have that to fall back on.
Canada Day is tomorrow so we have Monday for the holiday, Wed starts my really busy schedule at work with the 100th anniversary this year of the Calgary Stampede and lots of events happening through to July 15th. I have 3 major events with 10 - 12 hour days and it's harder to plan food for that as we never know exactly when we'll get a chance to eat. I try and take some good snacks to get me through and I always get a ton of walking and steps in on those days but am really tired at the end of it. I really want to lose a couple pounds before then and at least maintain my way through it.
One step at a time and for now I'm giving myself credit for posting as I'm not feeling too positive about this right now.
Tazzy credit for posting. You can't go wrong with posting. I 100% understand how you are feeling. I've been there many many times. My thoughts are, given your indecision and confusion about food plans, coupled with your super-busy/super-stressful schedule, and your lowered self-confidence, for the time that you are super-busy I'd just follow some loose food guidelines; for example: no seconds, 3 meals and one snack/two snacks, post to the group, just make a very simple plan because as you feel yourself being successful you will start to want more of that and you'll more forward. Just do something that works for you for now. All is not lost. Not by a long shot. Say O Well to the past and let it go. Just, simply, start again. It's what we all have to do.
Newlifestyle It was hot here today too. At the market the temperature just slowly rose after after hour until you just go Wow it's *really* hot out. I have a nice market spot under a tree and I also have my canopy and we had a strong breeze. For me, it felt perfect. For my garden, it's another story. I'll be heading over to water early tomorrow morning. CREDIT for being OP today.
maryann I have to say that your post from the airport's floor was profoundly moving to me. I *know* all about the almost-50 invisible woman. I see it every market day when the young male volunteers can't do enough to help the very pretty 19 yr old, who is young and strong, set up her booth. For me they do it cause they are supposed to help any vendor who needs help. I make it a point to speak directly to them and ask them about their lives but I HATE the age divide. I think it's such BS. Just as the youth want to be seen as individuals, so do we oldsters. I think people categorize and generalize way too easily. Lazy thinking is what I believe it all is.... anyway, you can see you hit a nerve with me.
Glad you are back home and really really really massive credits for using many coping tools but not the food one.
Lexxiss I love how you are so dedicated to your own sanity and peace of mind and joy! It is such a relief to know when things are not about you! When you say "came back over the hill" you mean the Rockies right? the mountains right? I still cannot wrap my head around that after all these many posts. I went eek reading about trouble with an ex too! You sure are being challenged with summer. and you sure are doing well, crappy day or no. I salute you.
BillBlueEyes I have had to face heartbreak in my garden. All my rare squash germinated and thretened to be a magnificent force of nature in my garden only to be felled by cucumber beetles! They are on their way to killing all the vines: canteloupe, cucumber, and the watermelon are struggling but think in the end they'll die too. The pattypan squash never even germinated. That was weird. I'm not sure what to do with the hills. I may just plunk something in there. Flowers maybe. And my weeds are horrendous. I am so the gardens were not tilled. It is a real issue. One garden was tilled to a depth of voer a foot by her SIL with the machinery tht digs backyard swimming pools. Her garden is glorious. I am green with envy everytime I walk by it I so admire it. I met the gardener early the other morning. Both of us had the same insecticidal soap in hand! she is also battling the cucumber beetle though I had to educate her about it. She didn;t know to look for the eggs on the udnerside of the leaves. She found some. Ugh. And like many of us, upon reading your wise assumption that the leap second is a free for all food second I too went to imagining how much I could eat in a second. If only I could guarantee that it would stop after the second was over. I can't, so I won't try. Instead I'll glory in the second added to my lifespan.
Nature Girl You were so wise to implement your food plan/strategy during this tough time for you and your family. You are right, food won't fix tired. Kudos for believing this without the need to test it. You are truly a great helpful daughter. I hope you find some really inspiring bike paths to enjoy while you are there. Massive Kudos to you.
Well folks tonight I have another bit of wisdom I learned from a producer for the Mr. Rogers show: "Anger is a reaction to feelings of helplessness, powerlessness, rejection, or fear." So when Mom blew up at the caregivers today, and then blew up at Dad & I when we showed up, I was able (later) to explain it by thinking of how helpless she felt in that wheelchair in a new place all day, alone. This does not excuse her, but it helps me understand and try to figure out how to move on, with her and with the rehab people, who were awesome tonight.
The cynical part of me says that without my plan and rules, I could have stopped at every fast food between rehab & home, had a bunch of treats at the craft fair, headed to Coldstone Creamery (I didn't even know there was one in town til tonight!!) or headed to the local saloon. but dang it, no eEating in the Car, No Eating Standing Up, No Sugar, and No Booze! So I went out on my bike until my legs threatened to fall off, and then sat on the deck in the sunset cooling down; tomorrow is another day.
Sunday: PT strength and some ab work; more sensible meals withing limits; choose a dinner that Dad will like but is reasonable healthy for me...a tricky compormise!
Thank you all so much for your kind words--right now they are what I have to keep me strong! Thanks for listening.
But I guess I can count the 15 minute ride back from the bike repair shop this morning, right? So I'm still mostly on track! Credit, credit, and credit!!!
and joy! 
salute you.
the gardens were not tilled. It is a real issue. One garden was tilled to a depth of voer a foot by her SIL with the machinery tht digs backyard swimming pools. Her garden is glorious. I am green with envy everytime I walk by it I so admire it. I met the gardener early the other morning. Both of us had the same insecticidal soap in hand! she is also battling the cucumber beetle though I had to educate her about it. She didn;t know to look for the eggs on the udnerside of the leaves. She found some. Ugh. And like many of us, upon reading your wise assumption that the leap second is a free for all food second I too went to imagining how much I could eat in a second. If only I could guarantee that it would stop after the second was over. I can't, so I won't try. Instead I'll glory in the second added to my lifespan.
to all lurkers and those just stopping by.
