100 lb. Club - skinny in mirror?




View Full Version : skinny in mirror?


Charbar
11-27-2006, 09:49 AM
Okay.. so I'm a moron! The mind is a very powerful thing!!!

I have gotten used to my weight.. it's grown on me - excuse the pun! I look in the mirror and yeah, sure I'm fat.. but not as fat as... (fill in the blank). Then I look at pictures of myself!! Seriously, I weigh atleast 60-75 lbs more then I think/feel that I look.

Is this really weird or what? In pictures I don't even know it's me - it's my much fatter sister - no.. THAT'S ME! Holy *&%!!!

Sorry for the rant - but why did - and still does - my brain play tricks like that?
Can I be in THAT much denial?!!!

Dana


rockinrobin
11-27-2006, 10:01 AM
Can I be in THAT much denial?!!!

Dana

The short answer - yes.

I know I certainly was. I don't know what it is you just get so comfortable in your own skin, you don't even realize what's happening. That was certainly the case with me.

I remember walking in the mall and passing a darkened glass front of a store and seeing myself in the reflection and I was so unbelivably wide. I'm like this has to be some kind of mistake, there was no mistake, I WAS that unbelievably wide. And then I always wondered why I looked so much heavier in pictures then in real life. I would even look at pictures of my kids and wonder why they didn't look so much heavier in the pictures. How twisted is that?

Anyway you are definitely not a moron. The mind is indeed a very "funny" thing. :shrug:

NavyWifeDee
11-27-2006, 10:15 AM
I feel ya on this. Every time I see myself, I can't believe that is me. I know that I am big, but I still feel only about as big as I was at 200-215lbs, so I am shocked every time that I see myself. Crazy how our minds can be in such denial isn't it?


HarpoChicoGroucho
11-27-2006, 10:23 AM
I definitely was. Especially the first time I saw a picture of myself after I gained about 100 pounds in less than a year -- I was SHOCKED! And then I was still in denial about how big I actually was. I couldn't fit in my bathtub (and BARELY lift myself out of it) - and my mom's (or sister's) car back seat belt wouldn't fit me. But I always said, "I'm not THAT big." I always looked for someone that looked bigger to me -- so I could irrationally think, "well I'm not as big as they are!"

But now I have the opposite problem -- I look in mirrors and think "I have to be bigger than what the mirror is showing me." And I know that the mirrors in dressing rooms are skinny mirrors. I hate that.

famograham
11-27-2006, 11:32 AM
I definitely feel the same way!

Although, this time around of gaining all my weight back...I'm noticing that I do feel fatter and more sore..more aware of how much better I felt a year ago.

:hug:
Linda

Cheryl14
11-27-2006, 01:01 PM
I think part of the reason that I was shocked at seeing pictures of myself is that I stopped REALLY looking in mirrors! I would look at how my hair looked or how my mouth looked with a new shade of lipstick, but I think that I really IGNORED the rest of my body.

There would be situations when I would think, "Wow! They really ARE making these bathroom stalls a lot smaller!" or "These stores are putting the racks SO much closer to one another than they USED to!" Sitting in our son's Neon "suddenly" became a tight fit for the seatbelt, too. There WERE signs, but as you said, I was ignoring them.

My "Ah-Ha" moment, though was seeing pictures of myself. The mirrors never showed me my fat self as accurately as the pictures. I think it is very easy to be in mirror denial!

Cheryl

famograham
11-27-2006, 01:18 PM
I think part of the reason that I was shocked at seeing pictures of myself is that I stopped REALLY looking in mirrors! I would look at how my hair looked or how my mouth looked with a new shade of lipstick, but I think that I really IGNORED the rest of my body.

My "Ah-Ha" moment, though was seeing pictures of myself. The mirrors never showed me my fat self as accurately as the pictures. I think it is very easy to be in mirror denial!

Cheryl

Cheryl,
I couldn't have worded it better...
I REALLY identify with this!

Linda

jtammy
11-27-2006, 01:21 PM
but why did - and still does - my brain play tricks like that?
Can I be in THAT much denial?!!!
Dana

Well I sure was. I remember catching a glimpse of a very obese woman in a store window. I felt sorry for her for a few seconds, and then I realized it was my reflection!! Somehow I didn't see myself as being that large. I just couldn't see myself like that. I always knew I needed to lose a few pounds, but I couldn't see how many. I constantly did the "I know I'm fat, but I'm not as fat as ____________". Looking back, I was probably much fatter than almost anybody I compared myself to. :(

I didn't recognize myself in pictures. Somehow I had an image in my mind of when I was much smaller, and I thought I still looked like that.

That's why I sometimes feel fatter now than I did when I weighed 125 lbs more. Now I'm at least dealing in reality, then I truly wasn't.

Now to get a true image of myself, I get my DH to take a digital photo. It helps me see what I really look like. The same thing at home - I can't see the clutter I've gotten used to on the kitchen counters, but I see it in a photo so much easier.

NESunshine
11-27-2006, 01:33 PM
I agree with everyone here! Forever I've felt like there is this thin person inside me and that is what my mind's eye sees. I feel thin and feel like i'm looking good and then encounter a mirror or a photo and realize I'm way off base. Photos especially....I've come to avoid having them taken unless i'm hiding behind a solid object or in the back of a group of pictures. It was funny the last time I lost weight I hadn't been trying to lose weight...I had been away overseas alpine hiking for 4 months...I lost 45 pounds and never even noticed ...until I came home and realized that nothing in my closet fit me....it fit 2 of me. I guess I've always just seen myself as thin which has been very deciving.

This time is different though...I started at the heaviest weight I've ever been and for the first time I could feel it...and finally could see it...even without the mirror. Every time I do anything I make a point to remind myself that I'm not thin but will be with lots of work....and yes those size 18-20s are huge not average, thats helping retrain my minds eye a little.

Stevi-rocks
11-27-2006, 02:19 PM
I struggle with this in a very different way now. At 260lbs, looking at the scale I REMEMBER thinking "there is NO WAy I am THAT heavy". Like scales lie. Now, I see pics and I look bETTER in them than I think I do in real life (mostly cuz most of my weight is in my arse). I just told DH (who is considerably Over weight himself) that I didn't want to try out Ice skating until I wasn't so fat .....His response *insert playful swat* You are NOT fat. Yeah, THAT helps. I identify with his overwelming denial of his own body image. I think it helps keep mine in perspective (That and the 50 lbs I mysteriously gained over 5 years) I take unflattering pics of him on purpose and often ( I know mean but talking isn't working)...He opens his eyes for a week or so then he's right back where we started. He also avoids the scale.

melsfolly
11-27-2006, 07:21 PM
But now I have the opposite problem -- I look in mirrors and think "I have to be bigger than what the mirror is showing me." And I know that the mirrors in dressing rooms are skinny mirrors. I hate that.

That's me! I thought I was the only one. I don't know when, if ever, I'll ever be able to see myself as I actually am. But if I ever make it to that point I'm sure I'll be so old that wrinkles will me of greater concern to me! :D

ScarlettDrawl
11-27-2006, 10:23 PM
Seriously, I weigh atleast 60-75 lbs more then I think/feel that I look.


That's me most days. My extra 60-75 lbs shows up in gym mirror reflections as well as photos...

Lifeguard
11-27-2006, 11:04 PM
I have definitely had the whole reflection in a store window - shocked that it's me situation happen - more than once.

I think it is the same problem as when I look in the mirror & see wrinkles starting around my eyes. I just don't FEEL different than I did when I was 18 & when I'm not looking I don't FEEL different than I did when I was slim.

Along the same line I sometimes get myself caught into spaces I think I can fit because I forget how big my caboose is!

Nalynn
11-27-2006, 11:21 PM
I had that same "Oh My God" moment when I saw a reflection of my profile at the mall today. I was mortified by what I saw. I knew I was big.... but that big???? At first I didn't even realize that it was my reflection I was seeing.

Now that I've had a glimpse of what I really look like.... I feel like I'm bulging out of my own skin.

finn
11-28-2006, 05:10 AM
I agree with everything here - for years I thought I really wasn't that fat, it was just the odd lighting, bad photos; I never had a complex about my weight, but ya know what..at 244lbs I really was fat. Now I'm at the smallest I've ever been and I think I'm big....bigger than what I ever was. weird. I guess it'll just take time to get used to.

Charbar
11-28-2006, 11:07 AM
There would be situations when I would think, "Wow! They really ARE making these bathroom stalls a lot smaller!" or "These stores are putting the racks SO much closer to one another than they USED to!" Sitting in our son's Neon "suddenly" became a tight fit for the seatbelt, too. There WERE signs, but as you said, I was ignoring them.

Cheryl

Amazing... if your name wasn't signed at the bottom I would of thought I wrote that!

Well.. I started fitday.com again.. for the billionth time. I just want to start losing. I am such a food addict. I feel like I'm at the beginning of a realization that this is really is a problem.

I'm starting to notice that I get ignored or people look at me. I suddenly realizing that it's weight discrimation. It's all around me. I just can't get over it. Very humbling, it is.

Dana

rockinrobin
11-28-2006, 11:46 AM
[QUOTE

I'm starting to notice that I get ignored or people look at me. I suddenly realizing that it's weight discrimation. It's all around me. I just can't get over it. Very humbling, it is.

Dana[/QUOTE]

It's funny, well not really funny, but I would always say "How much bigger do I need to be for people to notice me?" I could be the biggest person in the room and still not be noticed. Why bother talking to the fat person? It's discrimination and it's downright dispicable.

mthrgoos68
11-28-2006, 12:22 PM
While I definitely agree that it's true that we are treated differently when we're overweight, I know that I behave differently the heavier I am too. When my weight is up, and especially when I was at 330 pounds, I tended to try and stay out of the crowd, not meet peoples eyes, and try not to be noticed. I wasn't outgoing and friendly because I knew what people were thinking about me. I think that's part of the reason that some people treated me differently when I was heavier, it wasn't just them it was me too.

rockinrobin
11-28-2006, 12:46 PM
Yes, I was definitely going to add that to my post, that I'm sure that there is a part of me who holds back and TRIES to be invisible.

But with being 100% honest there are many times when I feel I have been ignored for no other reason then my weight. If you ask anyone that knows me I am a very social person and have tried hard to maintain an outgoing personality even through all this weight. In fact I think I many times overcompensate for it. I

One time inparticular comes to mind, when I was at a function at my daughter's school and 2 women, who had kids in my daughter's class needed to get past me, we were in the auditorium and seated and they literally had to get by me. Neither of them said hello or excuse me, they just kinda shoved past me without saying a word. I just think they wanted nothing to do with me, I wasn't their type, skinny and pretty. Well now that I think of it - I'm really not their type - stuck up and ignorant.

kittymuse
11-28-2006, 01:53 PM
I'm definitely skinnier in my head than I am in real life. I am SHOCKED when I see photos of myself near people that I consider to be larger than I am (and in the photo I'm larger than they are!).

It's a good reality check. It's depressing. I had been thinking my face was looking thinner, but in the non-posed Thanksgiving photos I have multiple chins.

Well... I can look at it positively: It has inspired me to work harder.

Sheila53
11-28-2006, 02:56 PM
Like most everyone else, I was in denial when I was heavier. Looking at my before picture is horrifying, actually. While I know that I'm a lot thinner, I now tend to focus on the "bad" body parts in the mirror. Body image is so fickle.

beautifulone
11-28-2006, 03:55 PM
Neither of them said hello or excuse me, they just kinda shoved past me without saying a word. I just think they wanted nothing to do with me, I wasn't their type, skinny and pretty. Well now that I think of it - I'm really not their type - stuck up and ignorant.

That's just rude :mad: the last line made me laugh a little, but mostly I'm glad you can stand up for yourself to yourself, if that makes sense :)

I have definitely experienced what everyone's written about. It's amazing how our mind works! I don't mind if I look big now because I am losing it and I am committed to losing it. I don't like the idea of friends and family having absolutely unflattering pictures of me :shrug: but then again, I can't do too much about that. I will however, make sure I give them tons of opportunities to take pics of me when I am happy with my body size or just look good regardless of weight!

Celesteral
11-28-2006, 04:57 PM
I have one full body picture of me from 9 years ago when I was under 200 pounds, all other pictures from then until the present are from the shoulders up.

It was a huge shock to look at myself in a mirror at 310 pounds while trying on clothing at Lane Bryant. I had been avoiding my reflection and cameras for so long that I was living in denial about my weight. Mentally I was still 180and physically I was obese and sooo uncomfortable.

I recently bought a full sized mirror for this apartment, it's the first big mirror I've ever owned. I look at myself each day so I don't forget.

The tummy and the weird sagging flesh on my thighs are HUGE reminders that I need to stick to exercise and eating right!!!

I hope my boyfriend will get us a digital camera so I can take pictures each month. Seeing everyone that has all the before and after pictures are great motivation and I want to do the same!

Momof2
11-28-2006, 08:30 PM
Sometimes I feel really good... I feel like I look good in the clothes im wearing, but if i see a picture of myself in those clothes i cringe. your not alone!

Ashley103
11-28-2006, 08:50 PM
Pictures are the worst! I can fool myself when I look in the mirror, but the pictures are horrible. I had a shirt that I thought was very flattering, and then somebody snapped a photo of me wearing it. The person in the picture was so FAT and that shirt just emphasized how large I was.

kittymuse
11-30-2006, 02:38 PM
Yeah, how do I do that? When I look in the mirror somehow I look sort of normal to myself. I have been large my whole life, so maybe that's part of it. It's just those passing glances that I catch that make me do a double-take and realize just how big I really am.

KnitALisa
11-30-2006, 03:14 PM
Mentally I was still 180and physically I was obese and sooo uncomfortable.

Oh yah. I've been much smaller in my head for a long time (and I wonder why I put on the weight? Duh Lisa!). I saw some pictures of me taken at my highest weight and it was humiliating to learn how big I was. Absolutely humiliating and the BEST thing that could have EVER happened to me. It snapped me out of denial and made me realize how BIG I really was (and still am, but we're working on that one ;))

I'm starting to notice that I get ignored or people look at me. I suddenly realizing that it's weight discrimation. It's all around me. I just can't get over it. Very humbling, it is.

I know, it's terrible. :( I'm so sick of it; can't wait until that stops. I'm ready to be checked out, darn it! :devil:

Lekker
12-01-2006, 10:31 PM
My mirror at home always makes me appear skinnier than I do in any other mirror/window! It's depressing to realize that I don't look quite so good as I thought I did that morning getting dressed!

While I definitely agree that it's true that we are treated differently when we're overweight, I know that I behave differently the heavier I am too. When my weight is up, and especially when I was at 330 pounds, I tended to try and stay out of the crowd, not meet peoples eyes, and try not to be noticed. I wasn't outgoing and friendly because I knew what people were thinking about me. I think that's part of the reason that some people treated me differently when I was heavier, it wasn't just them it was me too.
I can't comment on how I would behave were I thin (as I've never ever been thin, not even as a child), but I am generally a very outgoing and friendly person. I always make eye contact (in fact, I've asked a friend to take off her sunglasses before because it bothered me that I couldn't see her eyes when I spoke with her!) and very rarely have any hesitation in going up and talking to a stranger. In general, people respond very well to me. However, in some cases I literally have to stand in front of a person to be noticed - I can feel there eyes sort of quickly pass by me, not focusing on me, until I essentially 'force' interaction...once I have their attention, it's no problem, as I'm very friendly...yet I always feel a teeny bit sad about that first reaction 'dismissal'.

I'm actually interested to see how/if my personality will change once I reach a more normal size (and whether I will be self-aware enough to notice a change). Will I become even more outgoing? More fearless? Or will I become more bitter? (There are many situations where I have a snarky thought that I keep to myself because I always think someone will respond with "Well, you're fat!" And then I'm never sure how I would respond if that were to happen...so I keep most snarkiness to myself!) I'm trying to think of situations where I feel that my weight has stopped me from doing things...what's coming to mind are certain sporting activities. In those cases I may have opted out likely because I thought I was too heavy or too big to use the required equipment etc. I suspect that as a thinner person I might become more willing to risk embarrassment (i.e. do karaoke - I cannot sing, dance when there are very few people on the dance floor - can't say that I'm a good dancer either, etc.).

lilybelle
12-03-2006, 01:09 PM
I was definitely in denial. Although the scale showed almost 235, I told myself, my DH and kids that I weighed 185. I would even make excuses not to weigh at the Dr.'s office and tell them, "oh, I already weighed myself and it's 185". I couldnt' admit to myself how much I weighed. I actually believed that no one could tell that I was lying about 50lbs. LOL. When I started this journey of a lifetime, I finally came true with myself and others about my starting weight. It took time, but I was excited and didn't want to have to lie every week and say I'd lost less than I actually had to have the numbers come out right in the end. Coming to 3FC's made it easier for me, as everyone else posts their high weight so I felt that I could do it too.

I think I'm definitely more out-going now. I don't avoid eye-contact like I did before. I was too afraid everyone was judging me by the weight.

Eiluj
12-03-2006, 06:51 PM
While I definitely agree that it's true that we are treated differently when we're overweight, I know that I behave differently the heavier I am too. When my weight is up, and especially when I was at 330 pounds, I tended to try and stay out of the crowd, not meet peoples eyes, and try not to be noticed. I wasn't outgoing and friendly because I knew what people were thinking about me. I think that's part of the reason that some people treated me differently when I was heavier, it wasn't just them it was me too.

Yes, yes, yes. I find myself avoiding situations where I might see people I know, too, or I'll avert my eyes to make sure they don't recognize me.

I've always been very shy, but the weight just adds to it.

brismiley
12-03-2006, 06:58 PM
well I am not alone in this. I am always shocked at seeing pictures of me! I cringe, In the mirror I swear I don't look THAT fat but when I see the pictures, oh man! I am reading YOU on a diet and I hope that it will help me to change to what I was not so many years ago :).

CLCSC145
12-03-2006, 07:17 PM
This subject always makes me think of a line from the show, Friends. The group is seeing some pictures of Monica when she was fat. When the group is shocked, she explains, "The camera adds 10 pounds." Chandler replies, "How many cameras are ON you?!"

When I see pics of myself, I think I've got at least 5 cameras on me... ;)

DramaQueenLucy
12-03-2006, 07:42 PM
I totally agree with what everyone has been saying I had an OMG moment when after 2 years I needed to go and get some new clothes and I was thinking that they must just be making the sizes smaller for this brand then after 4 more different kinds I realized it was me!! I left the store went and bought a scale gotten it the next day and wow there really must be something wrong with it because it says 264 pounds. Went and got yet another scale and that one said it was the same. So I sat and cried then went to get breakfast to make myself feel better. I started to open my eyes to things like why I have to have the steering wheel in the car so high and to really look at myself in the mirror and see that double chin and the ring around my belly of fat. After about a week that was it and I started to diet. That day is forever in my memory August 4,2006 the first day of the rest of my life.