Chicks in Control - Sept 27-Oct 3:Recovery choices




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rochemist
09-27-2004, 04:18 AM
Morning Everyone! :coffee:

Wanted to get the weekly thread started so we could move forward from this past week. My plan of recovery for this week is:

I. Physical
1. The Food Plan
a. Write down everything I eat
b. Try to reduce sugar consumption
c. Report my food this week

2. Excercise
a. Do something 5 days of the week

II.Spiritual
1. Daily
a. One inspirational reading
b. 15 min of OA literature
c. Say a prayer

2. Weekly
a. Meditate one day
b. Yoga one day

III. Emotional
1. Daily
a. Report here everyday
b. call 2 people and ask about them
c. write something for 15 min about how I feel

2. Weekly
a. Call my sponsor
b. Do step work for 15 min during the week
c. Go to 2 meetings

Well this is what I am willing to do my recovery this week. what are you willing to do? :D

Gratitude List:
1. I am grateful today for my friends who seem to find me when I am at my lowest and pull me
2. I am grateful for my dysfunctional family
3. I am grateful for the job that provides for them
4. I am grateful for clean water
5. I am grateful that I have a home to go to today
6. I am grateful for God's grace
7. I am grateful that there is a plan
8. I am grateful for canned food
9. I am grateful for today
10. I am grateful that I can be grateful

I will respond to everyone personally later on today. I love and miss you gals! :sorry: for hiding out my med switch has been pretty bad :^:
Chris :D


treasaigh
09-27-2004, 08:04 AM
Yea, Chris is feeling better! I liked your plan and gratitude list.

I really need to do something about my sugar consumption, too. I've been an M&M freak lately. My goal this week is to chose more nutritionally dense foods, and see junk food for what it is, not how it makes me feel emotionally.

And I plan to write a lot - I found this weekend that writing - just fantasies, not journaling - relieved a lot of stress. I don't really like to journal anymore, because I end up obsessing about my unhappiness. But writing stories that illustrate the life I want feels good.

My gratitude list:

1. Rain - our lawn needs it, and it's free. I just hope Jeanne doesn't blow all our grass seed away.
2. My DS - who said "Uh-oh" for the first of many, many times yesterday.
3. Microwaves - without which I would never eat anything remotely healthy.
4. My church - which gives me perspective and an opportunity to serve.
5. My DD - who's my sensitive, loving girl who just needs a little more direction.

Hope everyone has a good Monday. Thanks for checking in, Linoleum! I hope to hear more from you soon!

Jennelle
09-27-2004, 07:06 PM
I am in a place where I just don't feel like working very hard for my recovery. It will blow over.


KatSLP
09-27-2004, 07:56 PM
Jennelle, get back in here and white knuckle it. :grouphug: These are the moments where program is an even bigger deal than normal. I let my program lax too much over the summer and nearly lost it all (abstinence, sanity, etc...). I don't advise it. ;) Anyway, I am (we all are) here for you, so please come back and share with us some more. :grouphug:

Tracy, microwaves will be in my gratitude list today, too. ;) How funny. :lol:

Chris, loved, loved, loved your post.

What I am willing to do this week with my program:

*Go to 5 f2f morning meetings
*Email my sponsor my food every day and a plan for the following day
*Reach out to HP, especially when negative thoughts start dancing around my head
*Eat mucho fruits and veggies
*Journal every night
*workout after work the next 4 days plus on Saturday

Gratitude list for the day:

*Microwaves! Ours is slowly dying so DH bought a new one yesterday. This means I get to bring the crappy one to my office - hot, healthy lunches! :hungry:
*Trader Joe's, because they offer such a selection and have so many foods I can honor my body with
*My morning OA meditation meeting this morning
*The serenity prayer, 'nuff said

rochemist
09-28-2004, 07:15 AM
I thought I would make it back yesterday. Well I was awke for about 20 hours (I did my workout yesterday morning), my bodies answer was to sleep for almost the same. I did manage to wake up to brush my teeth and shower and do some of the spiritual and emotional things on my list.

Yes Tracy I am writing just to write. Whatever comes in my head. Yesterday I wrote about my dream that I had and OMG! There was so much good stuff in there. I was dreaming about my dissatifaction in my life in a very clear cut way. It seems sometimes like we overthink what is bothering us and it starts the hamster wheel turning.The last thing I wrote down though was "The measure of a person is what they do when they become aware" So I am going to sit on it and hopefully some more answers will come.

Tracy-FIRST WORDS!!!!!! Oh how cool. We were talking about that at work the other night. Kids are so cute. Bastians first word was "Baby" he would almost sing it "Baaaaaaaaby" when he could put 2 words together he would sing, 'Haaaaaaaaaaaapieee Baaaaaaaaby" Keep us updated on your recovery plan and your kiddos :D

CJ- I am so glad your getting better and getting to know all your nieces so well. Family is a beautiful thing. Did you see clean water on my gratitude list ;)

Jenelle- I loved the card sweetie! I am with Kat, write about whatever and do some white-knucking. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! :grouphug: Do you need a call?

Kat- In October I will go to flex and then I am going to try to up my meetings. It makes you feel so good! Its awesome that you get to take the microwave. I never even think how blessed I am to have full kitchens at my job. Of course when the guys are baking cookies it doesn't feel like a blessing :lol: Do you read "Voices of Recovery" or "For Today". I loved the daily from Voices yesterday. Something about Abstinece must come first for me to work the steps.

By the way my Step Sponsor has released me. Actually I think this is a good thing, but I also am a little sad. So now I am going to look for promptings from HP to find a new sponor.

:wave: Christy, Lonoleum, Skippy, Sandi, lurkers, and anyone else :grouphug:

My gratitude list:
1. Beds to sleep in
2. Friends who understand
3. Finacial options
4. Family
5. SOAP!
6. :coffee:
Chris

treasaigh
09-28-2004, 09:32 AM
Hi chickas. I'm feeling pretty shaky today. Don't like where I am, want a new life. I hate the mess in my house, I hate my marriage, I hate that I didn't go back to school and do what I wanted because I was afraid to be alone. I hate that I didn't wait for a lovely guy, a kind, perfect guy. Maybe I wish I WAS that kind, perfect person.

I tried to call him yesterday (the kind, perfect, lovely person who has much greener grass on his side of the fence), and he was at lunch. Secretary told me when he'd be back, so I called again, but oddly, he was still out. Hmmm. Even I can take a hint, God. So I called my friend in Texas instead. Then DH got home, and the evening went downhill from there.

We have kids, this needs to work out, but my heart isn't in it. I can't blame him for this, this is from me. I'm missing who I should have been and who I should have been with. I'm hanging on, but I don't really want to. HP can step in any time and tell me what to do. I'm going to surrender and listen. But there's the truth.

So, I think I'll feel a little better if this house isn't such a wreck. If I were still in college, I'd be drunk right now, but that's not acceptable for SAHMs. Hence the need for chocolate. Or Valium. I'll try to stick with depressing music.

I love you girls. Thanks for being there. ((Jennelle)) - come dump it here, it's easy, see?

Hi Chris, Kat, Anna, Michelle, Christy, Sandi, Linoleum, Vanessa, Skippy, CJ!!

Jennelle
09-28-2004, 02:47 PM
My wonderful sixth graders are currently at P.E. I have 10 minutes before I have to walk over there to pick them up.

My loving choice was to go buy some Flintstones vitamins yesterday. I want to make sure my body is getting everything it needs. Plus, they're yummy. :)

mugirl2003
09-28-2004, 03:35 PM
Hey ladies! How is everyone?? I'm doing ok, slowly making it toward Friday with the sweet reward of my 3 day weekend. I wish I had alot to say but pretty much, my life has been going pretty much the same, taking it ODAT. I'm slowly trying to accept that there are things I can not change and I do make mistakes.... and it's ok when I do! I know something is going to happen soon... you know that weird feeling you get, like something is going to explode? But I think it's going to be positive b/c I've been praying that our HP will guide me toward the right path. I think it hit me when I was driving the other day and I was listening to "I will remember you" by Sarah McLachlan. Weird, but somehow mystical. I guess I care too much for others than myself? LOL I don't know... I'm here living and breathing and right now, that's all that matters.
Chris-Hi ya sweetheart!! I'm glad your here!! I knew you could pull yourself out of it! Although life throws us curve balls, I'm glad you took a swing :)
Tracy-Hey :) I know things are not that cool for you at the moment and that your thinking about the past... Do what you need to do, don't let life pass you by. You are who you are for a reason, and that's something we can't change. Hang in there, we're all here if you thinking your going to fall :)
Kat- Microwaves are great!! I intentionally burn my poporn b/c I love it that way! So weird, but it floats my boat!
Jennelle- Just let it all loose sister.. That's why we are here, to listen and to sympathize. We might not know all the right answers, but we have an idea where you are coming from... we've been there too. :)
Hello to Christy, CeeJay, Michelle, Linoleum, Anna, Sandi, Skippy.. anyone else feel free to join! I hope you gals are doing ok and taking it ODAT..
Until next time,
Love
Vanessa

bananna
09-28-2004, 03:45 PM
I like chewable vitamins too. I don't take mine otherwise. Viactiv is great too when I can afford it...

things are going a bit better this week. saturday, sunday, and yesterday, I made good choices for eating and exercising. Today was ok. I was thrown off because I ate breakfast too early. I am still on track (barely) and I get the feeling that if I don't watch out this could spiral out of control. Luckily my bf is coming for dinner. This is part of my overall recovery plan which he is helping me with. He is eating dinner with me three nights this week. (We usually only see each other one night during the week, and then all weekend) This will mean that I eat regular meals in the PM. Usually I skip dinner in order to stay within my calorie budget (years of dieting, I can't help count calories, it's innate) and replace it with a snack. Which turns into another snack. Which eventually metamorphosizes, usually, into a binge. This will help me anchor myself during the day because usually i justify overeating by telling myself I'll eat less for dinner. This way, I can't justify overeating. Then again it rarely needs that much justification...another thing I am trying to do is to "legalize" all foods. I am telling myself that I can eat anything I want to. Its weird (and this is why it works) because when I tell myself I can actually have something, I want it less. For example, I was standing in line at the drug store staring at all the candy bars. Usually when I see them I think "Oh I wish I could eat that" and it just makes me feel guilty even if I don't eat one. But today, I thought, "I could have one if I wanted" and then when I thought about which one I wanted, I didn't really want any at all.

anyhow here's what I'm grateful for:

my apartment, my job, and my boyfriend (I am very lucky to have them all)
the city I live in
Whole Foods (makes legalizing foods a whole lot easier)
my friends
ice cold spring water from the water cooler
ice cold soy milk
books that finally come out in paperback after months in hardcover
my mom (she drives me crazy but she has done so much for me)
my grandparents

ceejay52
09-28-2004, 04:54 PM
Hi all,
Just another quick entry. My uncle is away from the computer.

I need to explore my recovery needs. But right now I'm not stressed about anything so I am doing good in food and water. I have exercised the past two day's. Yesterday was outside and this walking shoe the podiatrist gave me is not for walking so I rode the bike downstairs today.

Feeling much better and am ready for October the 5th to get here. I'm mentally ready to go back to work. I hope the doc say's I'm physically ready.

elizabecca
09-28-2004, 07:22 PM
Hello girls! It is I, she who does stupid sh*& with food, returning to the fold. I'd put an eye rolling smilie here, but my computer locks up when I try to use them. (Insert another one there!)

Kat -- Sorry to hear about your parents' separation. Like everyone else, I hope he can find his way to sobriety and they can work things out. Hugs to you...you've been through so much lately!

Chris -- Your recovery plan looks great! I should try to get one of those, huh? Keep posting whenever you can. You give me hope that someday I'll *get it*, too.

Tracey -- Out of curiosity (or sheer nosiness), how long have you been married? I know that I've gone through periods like you describe at certain points throughout my marriage, too. It's tough, but sometimes it will pass. And I'm not trying to diminish what you're going through at all. This is just an observation about my own experience. Whatever you decide you need to do, we're here to support you!

banana -- Glad you're back, too! Looks like several of us went AWOL last week!

Vanessa -- Three day weekend...sounds lovely! Do something wonderful and let me live vicariously through you. LOL

Jennelle -- Enjoy those Flintstone's chewables. Are you feeling like you're more on solid ground now?

ceejay -- It sounds like you are doing quite well now! I loved your description of your new little friends. Too cute!

I've been feeling cruddy toward myself lately. And, of course, instead of just accepting that I've had some bad days...felt a little bluesy...etc., I've been telling myself that I've already become immune to my meds and I'm on the downhill slide to hating myself again. There's no middle ground with me. I'm either feeling wonderful or feeling like crap. So I've been doing the "Hide yourself, you worthless fat slob routine" and beating myself up inside even while I'm being Mrs. got it all together and organized on the outside. I dunno...I'm a freak. (insert sad and confused smilie here)

Anyway, that's where I'm at right now. I'm trying not to isolate. (Hee, hee sounds familiar, right Chris?) I guess my recovery plan right now is to try to come here everyday and interact with you gals who know where I'm coming from.

Off to grade papers,
Christy

KatSLP
09-28-2004, 08:06 PM
Hi ladies,

Chris, I have both those books but I can't remember the last time I picked up Voices. I'll have to make it a nightly ritual again. For Today is actually the book my meditation meeting uses. :)

Tracy, :grouphug: hugs to you, hun, what you're dealing with is hard and no fun. :(

Vanessa, I'm envious of your 3 days weekend - what's it for?

Banana, Maybe you can always schedule dinner with someone to keep you on track? If not with bf, maybe with a friend?

Jennelle, glad you popped in - now come back and chat a bit more! :gossip: ;)

Ceejay, hope your doc gives you good news! :crossed:

Christy, thanks hun! Yes, this year has been full of ups and downs (a bit heavy of the downs, too :( ). I don't know what I would have done without this program. :dunno: :rain:

Well, I ended up sleeping in instead of going to my meeting. I actually think it was what HP wantd - I was exhausted. And didn't give myself a guilt trip. But I will definitely go tomorrow, since it is one of my favorite meeting set ups (readings out of Abstinence and OA).

I bought Joss Stone's new album today and get to go to a free concert of hers next week. I'm excited for that. :cb:

DH and I are going for a walk in a bit for our workout. :tread:

Have a good evening, ladies! :df:

treasaigh
09-29-2004, 09:30 AM
Hi kids. I felt totally insane yesterday. Come to find out it was the full moon. Shock. :dizzy:

Hey Christy, I do stupid **** with food, too! Glad to see you. I know that all or nothing feeling. I have to be perfect or I'm failing. To answer your question, we've been married for 7 years now. My SIL says that's a hard year, what do you think?

CeeJay - I'm glad you're feeling so good!!

Hellos to everyone else - I've got to get the kids ready for Matt's therapy appointment. BBL!

mugirl2003
09-29-2004, 02:29 PM
Hey girls! I thought I would post early since I'm going out later on this evening. My day was pretty much the same, dealt with different crisis's and tried to give the best advice I could think of.. LOL Tommorow we can wear jeans at work and everyone is psyched.. LOL That's sad that we get really worked up about wearing blue jeans. I'm going to go ahead with the certification still, but I may have to sign a contract with them stating I will work there for another year or 2 after I get my certification.. and that is deterring me at the moment.. This could be my meant-to-be job and I'm just in denial about it... LOL
Christy-I shall sleep in, watch 90210 and prop my feet up while being fed grapes and cookies by a Brad Pitt look alike.. LOL sound fun?
Kat-We all have to work one saturday a month, so each of us has a 3 day weekend before the Saturday we are scheduled to work... It balances it out to 40hours somehow, I'm not complaining :)
Tracy-Hey Gal, I'm glad you posted today! I wouldn't know if 7 years is a rough year or not, I've only had one serious relationship that lasted a year and a half... and it felt like 30years! Let the HP guide you to your answer, I guess we don't always have to know what to do all the time.. Hang in there :)
Chris, Michelle, CeeJay, Anna, Skippy, Linoleum, Sandi- How are you girls doing?? Let's make it over Hump day together!
Until Next time...
God Bless
Vanessa

Jennelle
09-29-2004, 06:35 PM
Hey! We get to wear jeans at work tomorrow, too! It's Homecoming Week and because we are in such a tiny town, the elementary school participates in the dress-up days, too. Tomorrow's Jeans and Jerseys day. I need to buy a jersey tonight. I've got my heart set on a Brett Favre jersey (hubba hubba! He seriously makes my heart skip a beat!) but I will probably have a hard time finding one down here. My second would be an Eli Manning jersey, but he plays for the Giants now and that's going to be even harder!

I am eating good food. I went out to dinner last night with son and hubby and made good choices.

My son got his acceptance letter to University of Missouri-Columbia today. Pretty exciting stuff. :)

KatSLP
09-29-2004, 08:31 PM
I pulled something in my neck. Had a chair massage plus DH rubbed it and it's still bugging me (although less so). Bummer!

I think AF is around the corner so I'm bummed by that. "Thy will, not mine, be done". I have to say that A LOT. ;)

Have a good night! I'm off to a friend's house.

elizabecca
09-30-2004, 06:20 AM
Grrrr. If cyberspace eats my post one more time, I might scream! This is the third time I've tried since yesterday afternoon.

Let me summarize...

Tracey -- Yes, I remember that year seven was tough. In our marriage, years one, ten, and thirteen were also excruciatingly difficult -- to the point where I wanted out at whatever the cost! We will be married 15 years in March, and I'd still call it a good one overall. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's BAD.

Vanessa -- Brad Pitt (or his lookalike)...drooool. Yummy. 'Nuff said.

Jennelle -- Jeans and Jerseys. Around here we call it Spirit Day, but the bottom line is that it means teachers can dress down. Always a nice break!

Kat -- Feel better soon.

I'm hanging in. Not doing significantly better or worse right now.

Love y'all,
Christy

treasaigh
09-30-2004, 09:40 AM
Hi Ladies - I'm feeling generally more positive today; I hope you are all feeling good, too.

Kat - I'm sorry about AF. But I can tell you have the makings of a wonderful Mommy. Keep at it. ;) And that's cool about the Joss Stone concert!! I'd love to hear about it when you go. I think she's got a lot of talent.

Christy - thanks for the words of encouragement. I don't know if it's really "encouraging" to know other people have bad times, too, but at least I'm not alone in my boat. :)

Jennelle - congrats to your son!! And have fun in your jeans. It's homecoming at my high school, too - they're having a band geek alumni reunion thingy, but I'm not going to go. Only the really HARDCORE geeks will show up, I'm guessing.

Vanessa -here's my thought - sounds like the certification would be a great thing for your resume - and 2 years isn't as long as it seems right now. Would it put you in a better position to get the job you really want eventually?

Hope to see everyone else check in before the weekend. I can't believe it's already Thursday.

mugirl2003
09-30-2004, 04:24 PM
Hey girls! I'm posting earlier than I usually do because I've had such an interesting day! Work was good, saw all my patients, wore jeans, and I was voted for Employee of the Quarter! Total surprise!! I get a $50 gift certificate to anywhere I like. My supervisor read a list of things I did exceptionally well and I thought I was going to cry. It really put my decision on getting certified to a different degree and I think it put in perspective of how well I really do this job. So maybe it is destiny? Well it doesn't end there!! So I'm off work and in my truck at a redlight going to pick up some reading material... A semi is right beside me in the left lane and when the light turned green, he turned wayyyyy too wide and clipped my mirror!!! I was steaming! So we finally find a spot to pull over and he's a very old Arabian guy who can't speak any English. He's pleading with me to not call the cops and I get out to check the damage. Only a little scratch and it's not noticeable at all.. So I told him it was ok and I helped him with his directions b/c he was lost.. So he gives me a 100 bucks!! Geez, I knew something was going to happen these past few days.. I feel bad for taking it but he really insisted. I'll use it to buy some recovery books for my patients!
Kat-How is your neck???
Christy-When I was really young, I had a huge crush on Patrick Swayze.. I wore my "I love Dirty Dancing" shirt to school EVERY day.. He still makes my heart flutter! Hang in there :)
Tracy-Hey gal, I'm glad your doing better! I hope this difficult time will pass soon...but it has to! God doesn't close doors without opening another one! And your right about the certification thing, and today it really showed that maybe it is really worth it!
Jennelle-Congrats to your son also!! Way to go! Savor your day with your jeans!
Chris, Michelle, Ceejay, Linoleum, Skippy, Sandi, Anna-----> How are you girls doing?? Let us know, we love ya!
Well if something really outrageous happens this evening, I'll drop by again!
Love ya
Vanessa

treasaigh
10-01-2004, 08:21 AM
Wow, Vanessa, you did have a day!! Congrats on winning Employee of the Quarter. That is very cool!

skippy257
10-01-2004, 10:50 AM
Due to some serious family issues, I need to cut back a lot of my online activity. I have felt deeply Blessed to know all of you and grow deeper spiritually and emotionally, with each of you. I am not saying I will never be back here, but for now I need to focus on the needs of my family, and try to work through some of the things that satan is using to attack our family. :( Please pray for my family and I will keep you guys in my prayers also. Much love to each of you and God Bless You Always. :angel:

(I'll miss you all!!) :(


Love,
skippy

Gotta do my favorite smiley one more time: :faint:

ceejay52
10-01-2004, 11:19 AM
Skippy, keep in touch.

Today has been a quiet day for me. My aunt and uncle has gone to grandparents day at school where there grandchildren attend, I didn't really feel obligated to go and with so many people being there I wanted to protect my toe.

I called Tim, my boss, and talked to him just a few minutes. He sounded as though he would have liked a weekly update--If he only knew what the first 2 weeks were like he would understand--Will fill him in when I return to work. Oh how I pray that I do get to go back next week. He said that they were having iron problems he he. He doesn't know my secrets.

haven't been getting to use the computer much. My uncle uses this for his personal business computer. My aunt operates their gift shop. Plus at church he is in charge of the mission work that they do there in India. I helped him some with that yesterday.

Been doing some exercise this week. My food and water have been extremely good. My aunt has my uncle on a 1500 calorie diet and I eat what he does. My clothes feel looser even though I haven't weighed.

When I get back home on my own computer I will acknowledge each person better. He has his computer on a phone line and I don't want to tie that up to long.

Every one continue to have a good day. I'm getting outside on the deck today. It's been getting down in the upper 40's at night here. It's beeen gorgeous. :)

talk to you later.

bananna
10-01-2004, 01:18 PM
Hi everyone.

Skippy, do what you need to do, you know 3FC will be here to support you all the way. We'll miss you though!

This is probably my last post before I go to the Overcoming Overeating workshop on Sunday. I am nervous. Just wanted to say hi to everyone.

Have a good weekend.

KatSLP
10-02-2004, 09:05 AM
I woke up this morning at 4:30 am to go to the bathroom and now it's 6. Ugh. :sp: Hopefully I'll be able to go back to sleep in a bit.

My neck is a bit better but I've been downing the Advil.

Skippy, hope everything turns out OK - come back any time. :grouphug:

Christy, This site eats my posts regularly, too. :shrug: :stars:

Tracy, :thanks: And I'll let you know how the concert goes.

Vanessa, :cheer: :bravo:

Ceejay, :goodluck: and feel better

Bananna, I look forward to hearing how it goes :wave:

mugirl2003
10-02-2004, 04:04 PM
Hey girls! How is everyone? I'm doing ok, though i have an ear infection (why do they always come at night?). Yesterday at work, I called in on a radio station and won 2 tickets to shark tales!! It was so awesome to hear myself on the air! 2 other co workers actually call in every Friday morning to the same station to try to win movie tickets but they didn't want to see shark tales, so I took their offer! The movie was actually really good, it had some adult humor in it, and the cast was great. It's been raining here all day and with my earache, I've laid around all day.. Not complaining though!
Ceejay-I'm glad your feeling better and staying OP. It's been getting down in the lower 50's at night here.. Our weather is so screwed up!
Kat- I'm glad your neck is feeling better, and I hate it when I can't go back to sleep when I get up to pee. I always have a little arguement in my head telling myself whether or not I should get up and go. Needless to say, I always talk myself into getting up b/c I'm constanly thinking about peeing when i try to fall asleep. LOL
Tracy-Hey gal, how's it going? How are things with your DH?
Anna-Please tell us how it went on Sunday! Keep your head up!
Skippy-I'll be thinking about you, please keep in touch!
Christy, Chris, Michelle, Sandi, Jennelle, Linoleum-------> How are you guys??? :wave:
Until next time,
God Bless
Vanessa

Jennelle
10-03-2004, 01:21 PM
I got into an almost-catfight with a bony-assed sorority ***** at the football game yesterday. She'd just been annoying us and everyone around us for too damn long. When I told her to bite my ***, she told me "It's big enough." I had my fist pulled back to cold-cock her, but realized what I was getting ready to do when I saw her flinch. I left all my stuff there (my football buddy was getting concessions) and left. He went back up there and got our stuff and we sat somewhere else.

I don't normally act like a Jerry Springer redneck, but the truth hurts, I guess. When people see me, they don't see a fabulous teacher or an empathetic soul or a gifted writer or even a gorgeous pair of deep brown eyes. They see a fat, ugly, slovenly cow. I am judged for it, no matter what I think or do. Nothing else matters. I could be Mother Teresa, and it wouldn't matter.

I am officially afraid to eat. The thought of food makes me shudder. The last thing I ate was a peanut butter cookie at around 12:30 yesterday afternoon. I am drinking my large unsweet iced tea from Rally's and I'm relishing the cold as it coats my empty stomach like those Pepto ads. If I put anything in my mouth, I won't be able to stop, so better to not go there at all.

treasaigh
10-03-2004, 09:29 PM
(((((Jennelle))))) - I am so, so proud of you for not punching that *****. That took so much control, and so much sanity. And I'm sure that left a big impression on the others around. So, your quality does shine through. Some idiots don't see it because they're too self-absorbed, that's all.

Now please eat something to honor your body!

Love,
Tracy

KatSLP
10-03-2004, 09:30 PM
(((Jennelle))) ditto what Tracy said and double ditto about feeding your body. :grouphug:

Jennelle
10-04-2004, 07:31 AM
I did finally eat something last night around 6:30 - a small turkey pot pie and some peas. The creaminess of the turkey pot pie on such an empty tummy was a mistake. About 1/4 of it came up. It reminded me why I will never be bulimic - I hate to puke. :P

mugirl2003
10-04-2004, 10:35 AM
Jennelle- I hate to puke also! LOL Please take care of yourself, your here on this earth for a reason and for your awesome qualities to shine through! Our bodies are just flesh, we have to take care of our mind and spirit first. Everytime you eat, just remember your fueling your body for an awesome adventure. Keep your head up gal :)

Hi to Tracy, Kat, Christy, Michelle, Anna, CeeJay, Skippy, Chris, Linoleum.. How are you guys??
I'm enjoying the last of my 3 day weekend, I think I might get my hair cut and watch a cool 80's movie.
God Bless!!
Vanessa

KatSLP
10-04-2004, 10:01 PM
A quick hello to everyone. I'm going to go bum around the TV now.

:)