Hi Em160!
It sounds like you are in the right place. Although this board is pretty quiet, OA is active and vibrant. We can help you.
I used to be almost three hundred pounds. But worse than the extra weight was the constant torment of obsessing over food. I was always focused on what I could eat next, how I could get alone so that I could eat it, how much I could eat without getting sick, eating more that anyways, promising that I would start again the next day, and frequently failing before noon.
Today, I am comfortable with my food. I eat a healthy balanced diet. I don't obsess with food. I wake up in the morning feeling slightly hungry, not hung over from last night's binge. My blood sugar is more even. I'm kinder and less likely to erupt in anger.
The first step is to get yourself to a meeting. There are two webpages that can be of help in getting you the help you need to recover from this. The first is OA's national webpage.
www.oa.org. From this webpage, you can click the links to search for face-to-face meetings near you. The second suggestion is to go to
www.avision4you.info. This page will provide you with a phone number to access their daily phone meetings, 7-9 am, eastern time, every weekday morning. You can also listen to their archived meetings online.
If you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them for you. I'll try to come back here in the next few days. But if I don't answer your response immediately, its because my email is sending 3fatchicks emails to my spam folder again.