I have given my friend advice about her weight loss and it is not going fast enough for her, so I want to see what other people might have to contribute to her situation.
She is 5'6. 120lbs, very small frame. She lifts heavy two times a week, runs at least 2 miles 3 times a week, and now that the weather is nicer she has been doing some intense gardening. I know she's doing these things and I know she's pushing herself because I'm with her. We talk extensively about calories and food plans and I spend a lot of time a week with her, I know she is diligent about counting her calories and she weighs her food with a digital scale.
In the last two-ish years she's managed to slowly shed about 10lbs just by eating better. She is use to being super thin so she's really frustrated to be 120, but she's really happy to not be 130 anymore. She's not looking to be emaciated, she wants to be fit and muscular. She's trying to shift away from the scale and go by measurements (Which are going down) but we all know how hard that is, and she has a history of an eating disorder.
Since January 1st she has lost 5.4lbs and she feels that is far too slow for all of the effort she's been putting in. I agree, I'm kind of shocked at how little she's lost but I'm much bigger than she is and I have no experience being 120lbs so I only know how hard it is to lose at lower weights from what I see on 3FC.
She had been eating 1600 calories and has recently dropped it to 1400. She admitted last night that she has been considering dropping to 1200 because only losing 5.4lbs in 6 months is ridiculous to her. A friend's husband and I were telling her that she probably needs to up her calories in order to lose weight. I suggested cycling between 1600 and 1800 and he added that the 1800 days should be on lifting days.
She's willing to try it but she's understandably a little scared. I told her to ignore the scale for a few weeks after she starts. Her diet is pretty solid. Greek yogurt or kefir for breakfast. A portioned amount of meat and veggies for lunch and dinner. And an array of snacks like babybel cheese, more vegetables, fruit and sometimes, but rarely, she'll eat a 100 calorie pack of something. One or twice a week she'll eat restaurant food and once a week she eats dinner at her parents which tends to be higher calorie stuff but she's always spot on with calories. She drinks unsweetened iced tea and water, maybe once a week she'll have a soda.
Anyway, sorry for the novel but I really wanted to get everything I know out there in case there's something I'm missing. Did we give the right advice? Any other advice I can tell her?
She's not looking to be emaciated, she wants to be fit and muscular.
In your opinion, is she already fit and muscular? She may not be seeing herself clearly.
Honestly, if I knew her, I would rec that she try to forget about weight loss and focus more on building muscle by consuming more protein and doing more heavy lifting. (As a byproduct of the added muscle, her metabolism will increase and some more fat will melt off.)
Although she says she wants to be fit and muscular, I worry when I hear someone who previously suffered from an eating disorder wanting to drop her already low weight lower.
She is in shape in that she has a lot of stamina and is decently strong for her size. She is not visibly muscular. 120lbs on 5'6 sounds very thin and from BMI standards is way on the low end but she is very small framed. She simply looks normal and she could lose a few more pounds (Maybe 5). I don't like saying that because I think she looks great now but I can see what she's complaining about and it is not completely without merit. Though, if I were her I wouldn't worry about it.
We are the same height and I look like a giant next to her and not just because I have 70lbs on her. She's a very narrow person.
I constantly tell her to ignore the scale but it's hard for her. The reason she's even entertaining the idea of upping her calories is because we told her that her body will not create the muscles she desires if she's not giving it enough calories. She knows these things but she's trying to fix years of disordered thinking so she needs to hear things constantly and from multiple sources before she'll accept them as fact.
I worry about her but I keep an eye on her and she's working hard to overcome her previous ways of thinking. She's so strict about her calories in order to prevent undereating. She eats several meals a day instead of skipping. She doesn't deprive herself of anything because she starts unhealthy behaviors. She's really putting a lot of effort into getting healthy so I feel bad that she's getting discouraged and not seeing the results that she wants. She says it doesn't really even matter because she feels better this way but it's still very frustrating for her.
Edit: If you do a search on mybodygallery.com she absolutely resembles the women who are 5'6 and tagged as 130lbs rather than the ones tagged 120lbs.
She needs to eat in a surplus, lift heavy weights (more than twice a week - and doing a proper weightlifting program), and give it time, I'm talking YEARS!
I used to be 108lbs. I now look so much better at 128lbs (almost 10 years later), I look fit and strong. I also wear a size 4... whereas I was a size 2 at 108lbs. Big difference.
She should do herself a favour and get the book New Rules of Lifting for Women. It will help her learn what she needs to do.
I don't think she has an eating disorder (maybe I am wrong) but some girls just forget that dieting and not enough lifting isn't going to make them look fit. It's more food and more lifting that is the cure. It took me down until 108lbs before that sense was knocked into my head.
I am 5'6" (well a hair under) with a very small frame...I wish I could say I'm big boned! but no...
At 145lbs I look "normal" with clothes on but I was still very "fatty" naked.
I would suggest at this point though she not work on "weight loss" but TONING! That what going to relly make the difference. I've seen people that are "very thin" but look flabby. I would say focusing on weight loss is not going to give her the body she wants. If she's really in shape already, she probably needs to do some very intense toning/weight training type workouts.
She has NROLFW, I gave it to her lol. She's read some of it. We are currently doing a program our friend's husband made for us, he's a former competitive weight lifter who does know what he's talking about. I did A LOT of research on my own before I heard what he has to say and he's spot on with what I saw.
We are talking about lifting three days week soon but we can't do anymore than that because we lift in our friend's basement. Can't really invite ourselves over. We have memberships to Planet Fitness but they don't have real weight racks, just smith machines and dumbbells. I can't afford a better gym and she won't go without me. After we've done what we can with what we are currently doing I'm going to suggest we switch over to NROLFW.
I talk to her about the women who lift heavy on here, I show her pictures and tell her heights and weights and she's always amazed. I will tell her what you said, not sure she's going to go for it though hehe. You are a powerlifter, right? Does it matter that that is not what we are doing in regard to a surplus? How much of a surplus?
Surplus = over maintenance. She could also try a recomp plan where she eat surplus calories on lifting days and deficit calories on rest days.
Either way you kind of have to pick one - lift for strength/performance with confidence the gains/aesthetic benefits will come, or maintain a caloric deficit and accept strength plateau.
Not an ED though from what you say. I have plenty of fat left at 5'5 and 123 and I'd love to lose 10 pounds - I just like eating too much!
Hey, a Smith Machine is fine. In an ideal world we'd all have Olympic bars and power racks but reality is that we don't (well, I do - haha - but you don't). Besides, sometimes they are being used up at the gym anyways. Just work with what you have.
An overweight person or beginner can usually lose fat and build muscle at the same time but your friend is not one of those. She is going to have to accept that eating at a surplus (such as 200-300 calories over maintenace) and a long term lifting program is the only way to get that fit body.
It's funny, people ask me-
"I want a fit/ athletic body, what do I do???"
Answer:
"You eat and workout like a fit athletic person".
I think her story is very typical though - some girls really need to build muscle but they are just scared to make the steps. Scared to eat more for fear of getting fat, scared to go to a gym for feare of looking like a fool, etc. I used to be like that once upon a time. But just keep going and going eventually you get comfortable with it. Their fear holds them back from their goals.
Diet help for a friend.
