I had a dark moment, somewhat randomly at Bed bath and beyond today (it started when I was trying on work clothes at ann taylor) - just felt overcome by just a dark moment of being so mad at myself that I haven't made more progress in losing the weight I regained, and all this self doubt about getting back on track.
Whywhywhy - during the initial huge weight loss stage - I feel like I'm all in this with you guys...and then after a period of weight gain (overeating/not doing much of anything from unemployment sadness, and some cold/rainy weather sadness...I'm tortoise-pace slowly getting better and better emotionally) I somehow feel all alone and so upset at myself. And oddly hopeless! Which is silly - if I lost this once, I can lose it again and certainly the benefit of doing this again is that I know I can get there!
Can I have some encouragement/you're not alone reminders? AHHH
I completely know how you are feeling. I am 100% with you. I gained back 20 lbs this winter of the weight I had kept off for almost a year, and it was terrible. I felt worse about my body than I ever had before. I have completely avoided going clothes shopping for months now. Just this past Friday I went to Forever 21 for the first time since gaining weight and picked out a few things - hated absolutely everything I tried on, had to leave the store early so I wouldn't cry. It's hard, but you are so right - we have done this before, we can do it again! I believe in us! Here's to getting it off and then maintaining better than before. Catching our little blimps before they become all-encompassing emotional downfalls!
Last edited by SwallowedintheSea; 05-26-2013 at 07:15 PM.
Hey, I definitely remember you! I can also completely relate to how you're feeling. I'm back here after having gained 50 lbs. in one year. I'm losing again and happen to be in the motivated stage but I have gone through this many times. I get all motivated and then I find that I can't get that feeling again and I end up wondering if I will ever reach goal...and even if I do...will I ever be able to maintain?
Lately, I'm doing something new. For some reason, it helps me to do something that I've never done before. Weight loss is so psychological for many people and for me, it helps to do something else because it gives me hope that I'll succeed.
Right now, I'm doing IF (Intermittent Fasting). It's not for everyone and it takes some getting used to, but I feel a lot more in control of my eating. I also believe in having some days with higher calories. Going low cal for weeks on end can be exhausting both mentally and physically. Giving myself an indulgent (healthy) meal renews my sense of well being.
Finally, I'm really trying to avoid processed/sugar things...I"m addicted and eating those foods makes me just hungrier and less in control.
Anyway, I SO feel for you and I hope you can get yourself feeling better. I find that being on track for even one week can really make a difference with the depression.
Sending you oodles of hugs and truckloads of motivation!
Last edited by luckymommy; 05-26-2013 at 07:28 PM.
Reason: I didn't realize this was the Featherweight section...I can't wait to actually post here for myself! ;)
I too had done the regain about 26 lbs. And had a walk in closet full of GREAT clothes that I acquired after my weight loss{I am a thrift shop CLOTHES HORSE} and nothing and I mean NOTHING fit. I stayed in that state first it was 10lbs and it grew. I would by a few pieces and think I will start MON........2 years of hating myself for what I had done... I would get 2 or 3 days in and quit again.I got on the band wagon Dec 26 of this last year with the VIRGIN diet. It helped me get in control of my eating quickly and dramatically. I also went on MFP and am religious about tracking NO guessing.I lost 20 lbs quickly and the Vanity lbs were slower BUT....
And ya know what ALL my skinny clothes fit by April and I am 6lbs below goal {and having to look for smaller clothes size 4 and below coming from a size 14 to start}. IF SOMEONE told me I would have been there that soon I never would have believed them.YOU CAN DO IT
Determination,dedecation,disipline and know what you want.
You so aren't alone and so not hopeless, we are here for you.
I was thin when I was young (about 150lbs on my big bones so it looked thin, I just didn't know that til now!), met my husband and gained about 40lbs real quick (fun dates, turned 21 and drank a lot of pretty fruity drinks and ate happy hour appetizers!), gained about 25 more, lost 50, gained 100, gained 60 more, now lost 135 and still losing. Talk about a roller coaster over the last 20+/- years.
This is my last time losing, I decided. I have a good eating plan, the research I have done (and read here) on processed foods has totally changed my life (i.e. YUCK!) and now that I'm getting older my weight affects so much more than my clothes size (i.e. health) and I got really scared about my future.
We are going to be here for you every step of the way. Part of losing weight is sometimes gaining weight. We just have to try to lose more than we gain (which is easier said than done, I know).
The most important part is you posted here and now know that you aren't alone. Now...what type of food plan and exercise plan are you doing? Is there a challenge that you might like to join here just for accountability? JollyGreenSteen just posted one that starts today through Labor Day that might be a good one for you to do. Don't set the bar too high, it can be as small as 10lbs but the important part is that you make progress towards it.
Oh, I totally understand. In fact, we all do. I've been very irritated with myself because it's taken me two months to lose 10 pounds. Actually, I've done great because in reality I've lost at least 25 pounds, but yo-yoing back and forth has mentally just done me in. It is hard to do this. This isn't like quitting smoking or drinking or drugs -- all of which are incredibly hard to do but all of which you can live without. This is changing everything about us and you have to have food to live. Mentally, I tell myself to just get in the zone. You've done this before. You'll feel and look so much better. Emotionally, food is my best friend and I miss my friend.
You are not alone!!! I'm also unemployed right now and I had gain a bunch of weight after Christmas this winter. I know I wanted to lose weight, but I was doing NOTHING to make it happen. It is so much harder to do what you gotta do to lose weight when you you head is not ''clear''.
I'm happy to read you are starting to feel better though. And again, you are not alone! Let me know if I can do anything!
Hello everyone…I was going through a tough time because I was harassed at my old job till I left. Didn’t affect my weight – but unemployment did. I had a hard time making friends in nyc, and all my old friends lived in other places, and I just got tired of saying that I was still searching when I was asked “what do you do?” The boredom and crappy weather kept me inside, and eventually did me in. I felt so much anxiety about making payments and eventually…I did get a job that I hate (stressful city school). The problem with this job is that its long hours but few work days, so I have to fight the boredom eating that I got so accustomed to. I’m trying hard to keep my head up and apply for a new job. I recently…stopped talking to some toxic family members. I’d rather be alone than put myself in an emotionally unhealthy situation any longer.
I get so upset at myself, because I think “OK I’m employed. WHY am I not consistently losing this friggin weight?!” but reading all your kind responses helped me do some reflecting and I can’t compare myself to everyone else because we are all in different situations, and I habitually do that with people on a weight loss-roll, along with downplaying whatever progress I’ve made in life in terms of weight and life in general and whatever difficulties I currently face.
Thank you…thank you for all your kind and wise thoughts (and reading this long post haha)! It really means a lot and helps me gain some perspective. Rooting for everyone here and whatever we’ve accomplished weight or non-weight wise.
Swallowedinthesea-Hey there, ahhh I’m sorry to hear about the bad F21 experience. I was thinking the other day, its better to feel this way at this stage than like…way later and way way heavier =/ Its by far not the worst starting point, even though it feels awful. Dressing room still feels awful, whether its because we are 50 lbs up for 20, its so strange.
Luckymommy – YES, I def remember you!! I’ve had great success with IF and its helping me semi-maintain this weight, its mostly loneliness/boredom on the weekends that kill me. But I think that IFing is pretty great, and I am determined to have that 1 week of just showing myself that I can do well.
Devadiva-I too need to be dead honest with myself in order to get back on track =/
I am so happy for you!!! I’ll try my best not to feel SO upset/convince myself that I can’t do what I once did – I absolutely can get where I want to be, whether its faster or slower, I’ll try my hardest.
Elvislover – Thinking back…I too have a rollercoaster history, and…I was thinking, as much as its “taboo” to go up and down in weight, it is a testament that we can lose. I have a hard time because I had a lot of issues with depression from work and family. Unemployment and family pressure ultimately did me in, and I’m trying to crawl back from that. Those binging habits that I had a few months ago…geez they are so hard to undo. I have made some progress from that, but I was feeling upset that I’m taking so long…that I’m not perfect. It’s a childish thought, but it still makes me upset that I unwind on the long weekends/from boredom/loneliness. Its better than 7 days a week, but I never give myself a pat on the back, I just get so ANGRY at myself. Thank you so much for your kind response, I might have a hard time making real friends in the big hustle/bustle city but I know that in the bigger picture, I’m not alone.
Betsy2013-YES!!! The yo-yoing can make accomplishments feel so much smaller. Its funny, I was not a conscious emotional eater, but once I started eating less…MAN I realized how eating took care of my sadness and boredom problems – it took up so many hours of my day.
TurboMammoth – Oh man!! Sometimes, I think “man, I don’t know how Turbo does it” You are doing amazing with your running – I still read the featherweights chat, but I don’t really post cause I have nothing to say other than “I feel blue today” yes!! That stupid brain fog feeling – what an emotional vacuum
I have regained my weight so many times over. I always feel like I have made great progress in my eating habits and then afterwards I lose all motivation and go right back to eating crap ):
I think everyone who has been on a diet and lost weight has re-gained some of it... at some point. Heck, I used to be 102 and I'm back up to 110. Don't see me complaining about it though. All you can do is keep on trucking, right? There isn't any use in b!tching and moaning and feeling sorry for yourself. Count the re-gain as a learning experience and move on. Re-focus your efforts. Keep the word "resilience" in the forefront of your mind, always. No matter what life throws at you, all you can do is change how you react to it. Winners aren't those who punch the hardest, they are those who hold on the longest without being knocked out. Right?
I totally understand. I've regained 10 pounds and I feel the same way. I lost 60 pounds and have kept 50 off, but I get so down on myself about the stupid 10 pounds. And I don't know why I don't just lose it. I've done it before, why is it taking me so long this time?
Weight regain GUILT
