Weight Loss Support - Is there such thing as too much support?




Silverfire
05-22-2013, 03:09 PM
There is a lady that I work with, whom I adore. She's an older lady who is not afraid to speak her mind. Ever. She is so supportive and encouraging of me and my journey, but I have been finding myself avoiding her lately. She gets so... gushy? Like, she yells out from the other side of the room.... "Ohhhh you look so good. Your pants are HUGE... How many lbs down now?" and such. While I really appreciate the compliments and stuff, it's getting to be a little to much. There are a couple of other ladies around my work that get really excited and want to take me around to show people how much weight I have lost... It's strange. Often I take different routes to the water cooler so I don't have to deal with it. Again, I totally love the support and compliments etc, but I just would like it if they could tone it down a little sometimes.

Anyone else have this problem?


PreciousMissy
05-22-2013, 04:17 PM
When I lost a significant amount before it seemed to be up for discussion with everyone in the office. Don't get me wrong, everyone was super supportive, but I didn't like being the topic of conversation.

I'm hoping it doesn't happen again when they start to notice.

100Mother
05-22-2013, 04:25 PM
I completely understand. I actually get that from my mom a lot, and not just on weight loss. I usually wait a while before telling her if I'm working on something new or losing weight, because she immediately goes and posts something on facebook about it, or I'll talk to a relative that I NEVER talk to and they know every detail from her. A little different, but I definitely feel your pain.

I guess it is just part of the journey, and in a way reveals how much of a personal and internal journey it really is.


ChickieBoom
05-22-2013, 04:32 PM
I know exactly what you mean. A simple "you look great" would be fine but some of my coworkers go on and on. I'm not comfortable with all of the attention and I don't appreciate being called skinny when I'm far from being skinny but I do appreciate their excitement for me so I let it slide.

One woman was spreading a rumor at work that I'd had gastric bypass. That irritated me quite a bit but I let it slide too.

And as much as I ask my mother to stop telling people how much weight I've lost, she just gets so excited and tells everyone anyway. I love her too much to get too upset because I realize that she's happy for me but when my cousin called the other day to ask about the 130 pounds that I'd lost, I was a bit annoyed. I called my mother and she just kept repeating, "I didn't say it was 130 pounds...I only said it was 115" I just had to shake my head and get off the phone.

At the end of the day, I'd rather have people coming up to me with compliments than gossiping behind my back about how much weight I'd gained. Perspective and all.

Roo2
05-22-2013, 07:25 PM
For me it makes me feel naked ..exposed ...especially if you are the type of person who is not in to talking about themselves ...which is me to a Tee!

No one Ever Broached the subject about me being Overweight ..Fat ...but people have bombarded me with questions ..,very insistent for the. number! I just told a coworker that I do not discuss the amount of weight I lost ...just say that it was a significant amount.... And. GBS has floated around about me too! Along with some kind of Illinesses...people will fill in the blanks for a more interesting story! And I was asked if I was on the Divorce diet too!
Guess no one decided that they have let them self go and decide they need to address it! That's just too boring of a story...soo they juicy it up!
I have people tell me That only one person by us has kept the weight off by us that has lost a significant amount.
I have dropped the most weight in the quickest amount of time ....so either surgery,terminally ill ...or Maybe I am a Crack Head....you have to really laugh about it ...when people speculate about a rather Boring person as myself and what's going on in my life! At least I have given them a topic to gossip about, and there is probably a Pool going to see how fast I gain all the weight back too!
Yep feel naked ... With all my shortcoming exposed!!! But I was not going to change jobs just to escape being dissected for everything I eat or when Good meaning people tell me How much I should weigh!

People are very comfortable sorting people into their little groupings ...and when we change .l.somehow others feel uncomfortable or feel the need to comment!

Hey I smile ..thank them ...and quickly change the subject!
If someone is truly interested in losing weight ... I have helped them and given them whatever reasonable guidance I could offer ...but I always direct them to follow up with their PCP first! But mainly they think I have some secret information....and they are always disappointed when I share the Truth!
I truly believe change in the environment makes people uneasy ...and they like to keep the status quo in place...IMO!

March to the beat of your own drum.... Keep doing what your doing ! And remember to smile....and try to redirect the focus ....and maybe ask them some nosey personal Question :D see how they like the shoe on the other foot!:D
Good Luck ...and remember this is all for you ....and you deserve to keep it as public or as private as you are comfortable with.:hug:
We are all different in how we handle our weight loss and keep ourselves going .... Do what is right for you....and you will be fine! This is your story don't let anyone else dare edit it without your consent:D

Roo2:carrot::carrot::carrot:

elvislover324
05-22-2013, 07:46 PM
The last time I lost a whole lot of weight (I think it was 50lbs back then) I was the topic of my small all-woman department every single day. I hated it. I mean, I was happy they noticed but it was like all eyes were on me and my outfits and my meals, etc. etc. etc. Thank God I had moved onto a new job for my gain of 50 (plus about 100 more...).

This time around, the only comments I get are from my neighbors, people at the local pub, people at my doctor's office. Other than that, I have seen hardly ANYONE and I love it!! I'll see my aunt in a couple of weeks and I haven't seen her since I was 330lbs and never told her I started a new diet. She will be genuinely happy for me and totally SHOCKED. I'm not sure if my dad told her I lost any weight but even just hearing about it, sometimes you don't believe it till you see it yourself. But anyone else in my family? MYOB and don't say one word (like my mother-in-law!). I know they talked about me being large, they will talk about me being thinner--there is nothing I can do about it. I don't care but I don't want to hear it!

SuperHeroTeacher
05-22-2013, 08:31 PM
For me it makes me feel naked ..exposed ...especially if you are the type of person who is not in to talking about themselves ...which is me to a Tee!
:

This ^^^

I absolutely HATE being the center of attention, having someone draw attention to my weight (no matter how supportive they think they're being) would HORRIFY me!

Silverfire
05-23-2013, 11:03 AM
I am glad to not be alone! I think I handle it pretty well, say thank you and move along, change the subject, or just try and run away... lol I guess it's just part of the process. I am a little anxious for when I go back to my hometown for a weekend in June. I will be seeing a whole bunch of people that I haven't seen since my highest weight. I look forward to the compliments, coz those really do make me feel good, I just hope it doesn't get carried away!

ikesgirl80
05-23-2013, 11:24 AM
I'm the lone one here I guess! I tell everyone exactly how much I weighed, how much I weigh now, and if I've had "good" days or "bad"! They have seen pictures at every weight!

But one thing with me, is if I can hide it, I WILL BINGE. That has been my struggle the past couple days. With the school year winding down, and the bf being sick (ugh... men are such babies!), I have not had the same amount of accountability that I am used to, and being so close to goal/surgery, but not FEELING the progress, I've been slacking. I haven't full out binged, so I have made progress, but I have been WAY over my calories. I am hoping the 3.5 day weekend and some good exercise will help me get back on track!

So ya, that is why I like everyone to know exactly where I am at, and sorry for the high jack!

Chris

Silverfire
05-23-2013, 11:36 AM
ikesgirl80 - I totally get that. There are some people IRL that I tell everything to, they are the ones to keep me accountable! I love being able to share that with supportive people too. I guess I like to pick and choose who I want to hold me accountable. And there is always here to keep me accountable :D You can get back on track! Summer is tough I am learning, I am more active, but I have a hard time staying under my calories too!

linJber
05-23-2013, 08:01 PM
I didn't read every word of every post, so forgive me if I'm repeating advice.

First - moms (I'm one who is always proud of my daughter's accomplishments) has certain "rights" with their kids, so if mom makes a big deal, cut her some slack. (LOL)

As for co-workers - well, they think they're helping you. It's nice that they feel comfortable enough to do this "out loud." Maybe taking your biggest cheerleader aside and asking her to please tone it down is the way to go. You do have the right to choose to whom you will be accountable, but it's sort of nice that these co-workers care. A short one on one message might do the trick. Then you can say, "Remember what we talked about?" if someone starts up.

And a funny story about someone shouting out at you - I was coming into KMart after I'd lost a lot (80 pounds, I think) when I heard the very distinct voice of an older woman I only know in passing from church. She YELLED across about 60 feet inside KMart's clothing department, "Hi, Lin! I see you've lost weight. Are you sick?" I just shook my head and gave her a thumbs up that all was OK. Sometimes you just have to laugh,

Lin

ikesgirl80
05-23-2013, 08:17 PM
ikesgirl80 - I totally get that. There are some people IRL that I tell everything to, they are the ones to keep me accountable! I love being able to share that with supportive people too. I guess I like to pick and choose who I want to hold me accountable. And there is always here to keep me accountable :D You can get back on track! Summer is tough I am learning, I am more active, but I have a hard time staying under my calories too!

The problem I've always had with on-line, is I can choose to not log on, or even (when I was on Nutrisystem on-line) lie. I have gotten past having to lie to people, but choosing not to get on-line and post... that is another story.

Summer is actually better for me. I have either all day or all day, except 8am-noon (if I work summer school) to worry about calories and working out. I do pretty well for the majority of the school year too. It's the first month, around state testing and the last 3 weeks. We have 5 days left with the kids, so it's hitting hard right now... And I am feeling it, emotionally, physically, and weight-wise. My goal is to get back under 190 (I was 192 this morning) by next Friday, and as close to 185 as I can get by next Thursday. That's about .5 pounds per day, but I know that about 1/2 of it is water weight/sodium from my past several high calorie, high carb, horribly not even close to Paleo days. I do well on a controlled carb, close to Paleo diet, so I need to suck it up and get back there. Starting now. Water only til the AM.

Chris