100 lb. Club - are you freaking SERIOUS!? (need to rant)




Alyssa Autopsy
04-27-2013, 12:00 AM
i talked to someone on an ED hotline while i was having some huge urges this morning. they gave me the names and numbers of some people to try calling, ED specialists. well, the one person who called me back wants to commit highway robbery.

she wants me to see her. twice a week. every single week. how much is each session?


TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS.

two hundred fifty x eight times a month = two thousand dollars.

seriously? when she told me i damn near pissed myself. i mean, i'm not rich. my only "income" is food stamps. which i NEED. how else will i buy my fruits and veggies? i'm not considered "poor" either, but my grandmother only MAKES about two thousand a month, BEFORE taxes.

i'm sorry but, is this woman freaking serious? i say i'm practically in crisis, i'm having urges, but i DO NOT want to go inpatient (especially as i'm pretty sure i don't fit the criteria for admission, as i'm only having urges and not actually engaging in the behavior... yet =/ nor am i underweight, in the least) or to the emergency room (i already have over fifty thousand dollars in medical debt), that i have no money or insurance, and you tell me i need to see you twice a week every month?

ugh. i understand i need to make sacrifices to recover properly, and get real support, but my family can't live on the street and walk for many miles back and forth to work and miles back and forth to the only store that accepts my food stamps in the area, and feed three people with two hundred a month, AND go more and more into debt every month. i mean, my entire college fund is only seven thousand dollars. i can't even afford half a year of treatment.




idk what to do. i got in touch with the person covering for my psychiatrist while she is out til may twenty-eighth (who i learned is actually an APN) and she said i could have my ICMS worker set up a meeting and drive me to her to see her, but she's not a specialist. all she can really do (and she told me this herself) is adjust my medication.



i want to swear very loudly while punching things. i just feel like i keep hitting walls everywhere i turn. i'm assuming the other specialists i called will be around the same price. what's the point? i'm going to have to do this on my own... like everything else in my life... but i don't know how... and as much as i like talking to people, i feel like people don't like me (even here, and the ED website i joined, even though im fairly new to both sites), so i'm a bit wary of taking other peoples' advice. i want to talk to a PROFESSIONAL. but i can't. wtf wtf wtf wtf wtf

are you freaking SERIOUS!?


Underwater
04-27-2013, 02:50 AM
Here is the closest clinic I could find that does sliding scale mental health services:

http://www.womenandhealth.org/

This one has specially trained mental health NPs (and they do free weight loss classes too!)

http://www.vnachc.org/Services.php

Good luck with your struggles and know we're here to listen <3

stella1609
04-27-2013, 09:42 AM
Could you possibly get a part-time job to cover some of these expenses?


Alyssa Autopsy
04-27-2013, 10:41 AM
Could you possibly get a part-time job to cover some of these expenses?

no. i'm trying to get disability. i've tried working multiple times and the panic attacks and disassociation and physical pain were all too much. last job i had was a 6-hour-a-week library job that i quit in less than a month while crying and hyperventilating.



@Underwater
thank you, i'll check out those links <3

SuperHeroTeacher
04-27-2013, 03:54 PM
I'm not trying to be mean or disrespectful, so if my post comes off that way please know it isn't my intention, I just want to offer another perspective.

I understand that you are in need of professional help, but is it possible that the fact that your disability has never allowed you to work to support yourself for any length of time is skewing your perception of what a reasonable cost for services such as mental health counseling?

Have you considered how much it cost that professional to BECOME a professional? We are getting ready to send my teenage daughter off to college. Her 4 year degree will cost more than we paid for our house 13 years ago. Then she wants to go to medical school - so add another house on top of that. We are not wealthy people. I am a teacher, her dad is a programmer/analyst. We are middle class. We don't live beyond our means, we have a modest home in a modest neighborhood, we don't take extravagant vacations, don't drive fancy cars (my car is an 8 year old saturn, DH's is 5 years), and don't spoil our kids with material goods (neither of our teenagres has a car). But somehow we have to find nearly half a million dollars to put our kid through college and medical school.

When she finishes school, if she chooses to practice as an independent practitioner, I fully expect she will charge what what her education has made her worth.

seagirl
04-27-2013, 07:45 PM
How is your psychiatrist paid for? Are you eligible for Medicaid to cover your expenses? Can you call some other folks that aren't necessarily specialized in eating disorders but could help you stay safe until your regular doctor comes back?

Did I read your post right that you have a college fund of $7000? Are you in college? You could use some of that money to see the woman who was recommended, at a rate of visits that you can deal with, you could call around to see if there are folks that are less expensive or do a sliding scale. A college fund for someone that is nearly incapacitated with untreated mental health issues seems like skewed priorities.

Good luck! (And you don't have to post answers to these questions, they are more just for you to think about, to explore options you might have.)

Keep Moving Forward
04-28-2013, 12:51 AM
Was the specialist a psychiatrist, psychologist or counselor? Counselors are going to be the cheaper option, & some of them will even work out a plan with you based on what you can afford (at least in my area they do). Keep calling until you find someone who will fit your needs. For now, it may be worth it to just do one or two sessions with the specialist you spoke with so you're not completely without help.

kaplods
04-28-2013, 02:17 AM
I earned my BA and MA in psychology and I worked in the mental health field for many years, and I never worked anywhere in which $250 per session, twice per week was considered a standard or reasonable rate, particularly for someone uninsured (many medical and counseling services give huge discounts for patients needing to pay all expenses out of pocket).

Privare counselors, especially those who cater to wealthy clients do charge much more than publicly funded programs, but the treatment isn't necessarily better or more effective. You certainly do not have to pay $500 per week to receive compassionate and effective treatment.

Call your local health department or United Way and they can help you find a program that you can afford. I wouldn't be surprised if you were able find a program that charges $25 or less per session.

I'm not trying to be mean or disrespectful, so if my post comes off that way please know it isn't my intention, I just want to offer another perspective.

I understand that you are in need of professional help, but is it possible that the fact that your disability has never allowed you to work to support yourself for any length of time is skewing your perception of what a reasonable cost for services such as mental
Have you considered how much it cost that professional to BECOME a professional? We are getting ready to send my teenage daughter off to college. Her 4 year degree will cost more than we paid for our house 13 years ago. Then she wants to go to medical school - so add another house on top of that. We are not wealthy people. I am a teacher, her dad is a programmer/analyst. We are middle class. We don't live beyond our means, we have a modest home in a modest neighborhood, we don't take extravagant vacations, don't drive fancy cars (my car is an 8 year old saturn, DH's is 5 years), and don't spoil our kids with material goods (neither of our teenagres has a car). But somehow we have to find nearly half a million dollars to put our kid through college and medical school.

When she finishes school, if she chooses to practice as an independent practitioner, I fully expect she will charge what what her education has made her worth.

Alyssa Autopsy
04-28-2013, 11:17 AM
I'm not trying to be mean or disrespectful, so if my post comes off that way please know it isn't my intention, I just want to offer another perspective.

I understand that you are in need of professional help, but is it possible that the fact that your disability has never allowed you to work to support yourself for any length of time is skewing your perception of what a reasonable cost for services such as mental health counseling?

Have you considered how much it cost that professional to BECOME a professional? We are getting ready to send my teenage daughter off to college. Her 4 year degree will cost more than we paid for our house 13 years ago. Then she wants to go to medical school - so add another house on top of that. We are not wealthy people. I am a teacher, her dad is a programmer/analyst. We are middle class. We don't live beyond our means, we have a modest home in a modest neighborhood, we don't take extravagant vacations, don't drive fancy cars (my car is an 8 year old saturn, DH's is 5 years), and don't spoil our kids with material goods (neither of our teenagres has a car). But somehow we have to find nearly half a million dollars to put our kid through college and medical school.

When she finishes school, if she chooses to practice as an independent practitioner, I fully expect she will charge what what her education has made her worth.
My family used to make $3,000 per week, we had nice things, lived in a half-million dollar house... and i wore the same stuff til it was worn through, wasn't given proper nutrition, and went to a discount babysitter where i was stuck with toddlers watching teletubbies and blues clues all day til i was TEN, then while i was growing up with my mental disorders my parents realized something was wrong, and got me tested at 12.... then from 12-16 i was put on and taken off different medications, most of which made me extremely suicidal and i started cutting and having worse and worse pain from my scoliosis and my dad called me a "drama" queen, and when i was 17 my dad took me off my meds because i was "better" after 3 months, i had a psychotic breakdown so he shipped me off to live with my grandmother, and ever since then til just last year i've been stuck i n psychotic episodes and extreme mania to the point of only sleeping about 8 hours a week and not eating and giving myself tattoos and doing any drug that will come near me... now, i'm trying to get better and we barely get $2,000 a a month, and because i'm over 18 i no longer have insurance, so $15 copays to see the therapist down the street for an hour every week has changed to (so far the minimum i've found) $180 per session in a building miles away for 45 minutes. it's changed so much i don't know how to get back the support i had. i havent cut or starved or purged in years but i want to, which is why i'm finding it essential to find help. i've been good for years and now i'm freaking out internally, all because i got fat and can't handle it. but i have never been stable. i'm trying to get stable. but because i'm not stable i can't work, and because i can't work i can't see doctors, and because i don't see doctors i can't prove i can't work, so i have no money. it's a vicious cycle. and i've truly tried to work. i keep wanting to work again. i want the income that badly. but realistically? i can't handle it. so maybe my perception is skewed, but from $15 per week to $500 per week doesn't sound like a normal rate hike. and i want to work like my APN works- she doesn't receive money from me. she sees me, talks to me, writes me scripts. but -i- don't pay her. i want to work with people who can't afford to be paying, people who are like me. suffering. struggling. i don't care if i'm 50 when i finish paying for my education, i don't care about being rich. as long as i can feed and clothe myself and keep the mortgage paid and be able to go out to red lobster every once in a while, i'll be happy. i want to help others more than i care about owning a Ferrari.

Alyssa Autopsy
04-28-2013, 11:21 AM
How is your psychiatrist paid for? Are you eligible for Medicaid to cover your expenses? Can you call some other folks that aren't necessarily specialized in eating disorders but could help you stay safe until your regular doctor comes back?

Did I read your post right that you have a college fund of $7000? Are you in college? You could use some of that money to see the woman who was recommended, at a rate of visits that you can deal with, you could call around to see if there are folks that are less expensive or do a sliding scale. A college fund for someone that is nearly incapacitated with untreated mental health issues seems like skewed priorities.

Good luck! (And you don't have to post answers to these questions, they are more just for you to think about, to explore options you might have.)I don't know how she;s paid, all I know is that I don't pay her,. Nor do I go to see her. She comes to me. And I found out she's technically an APN. And i've been calling other places that don't specialize, but they ask me my issue and when I tell them "Eating Disorder" they say they're not a specialist and tell me to call a specialist.

I told her for $200 a session I could see her once a month, and she said "no, i will want to see a minimum of twice a week". =_____=

If I didn't want to talk to other people about it, I wouldn't have posted it lol. I mean, if someone can come up with ideas to help me, i'm sure as **** going to talk to them. and right now i'm getting desperate.

Alyssa Autopsy
04-28-2013, 11:23 AM
I earned my BA and MA in psychology and I worked in the mental health field for many years, and I never worked anywhere in which $250 per session, twice per week was considered a standard or reasonable rate, particularly for someone uninsured (many medical and counseling services give huge discounts for patients needing to pay all expenses out of pocket).

Privare counselors, especially those who cater to wealthy clients do charge much more than publicly funded programs, but the treatment isn't necessarily better or more effective. You certainly do not have to pay $500 per week to receive compassionate and effective treatment.

Call your local health department or United Way and they can help you find a program that you can afford. I wouldn't be surprised if you were able find a program that charges $25 or less per session.THANK YOU, i knew i wasn't the only one who thought that was ridiculous D; i understand she's a specialist, and she spent a lot of money to get it, but if she's working even just 20 hours a week, she's getting $5,000 a week. um, yeah. i don't think so. i'm not helping you get rich off of me, i want to be helped because they want to help, not because they paid off their student loans 50 sessions ago and now you want a boat.

Vex
04-28-2013, 01:25 PM
Do either of your parents still work and carry insurance? If so, you are now legally allowed to be on their insurance until age 26. That's one of the new laws with Obamacare.

Alyssa Autopsy
04-28-2013, 01:53 PM
Do either of your parents still work and carry insurance? If so, you are now legally allowed to be on their insurance until age 26. That's one of the new laws with Obamacare.

my mother is deceased and my fatheris unemployed, and my grandma tried to get me on her work insurance since i live with her but because she wasn't made my "legal guardian" she can't, and i'm now too old for that.

Missy Krissy
04-28-2013, 02:09 PM
Have you applied for medicaid? Are you in college now? If you're in college right now, sometimes you can buy low cost health insurance through your school.

$250/session is insane.

I don't know where in NJ you live, so I can't give you specific links, but google "catholic community services" and "catholic charities" and "catholic social services" plus the name of the town you live in. You don't have to be Catholic or religious at all to utilize their services. There will be a section on the website for adult programs and under that will be a behavioral health or mental health section. These organizations will provide you with mental health services and your fee will be based on a sliding scale. I wouldn't expect to pay more than $40-$60.

Here is a link to some of their outpatient mental health programs:
http://www.ccannj.com/mental_health_pro.php

Alyssa Autopsy
04-28-2013, 07:40 PM
Have you applied for medicaid? Are you in college now? If you're in college right now, sometimes you can buy low cost health insurance through your school.

$250/session is insane.

I don't know where in NJ you live, so I can't give you specific links, but google "catholic community services" and "catholic charities" and "catholic social services" plus the name of the town you live in. You don't have to be Catholic or religious at all to utilize their services. There will be a section on the website for adult programs and under that will be a behavioral health or mental health section. These organizations will provide you with mental health services and your fee will be based on a sliding scale. I wouldn't expect to pay more than $40-$60.

Here is a link to some of their outpatient mental health programs:
http://www.ccannj.com/mental_health_pro.phpI'm not eligible for Medicaid and i'm still waiting on my Grandma for money so I can get my transcripts and do the application fee. we were gonna do it friday but i had a really bad day

Keep Moving Forward
04-28-2013, 08:32 PM
What if the ED urges are symptomatic of the other issues you addressed? Maybe you could look for a general therapist to see for now, until you can find a reasonably affordable specialist? Any help is better than no help.

Alyssa Autopsy
04-28-2013, 10:41 PM
What if the ED urges are symptomatic of the other issues you addressed? Maybe you could look for a general therapist to see for now, until you can find a reasonably affordable specialist? Any help is better than no help.
i tried looking for someone that doesnt specialize and they said to go to a specialist, so idk if i can just see a general one

stella1609
04-28-2013, 11:39 PM
Alyssa, I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but you say you feel like people don't like you so I want to give you a suggestion as to what might be the issue. You post about problems you have like you want advice, but then you have an excuse for why none of the suggestions will work for you. It seems like you just want sympathy, not ways to actually resolve your issues. There is a time and a place for seeking sympathy, but this forum is about making life changes. You have to be ready and willing to try some things that might be out of your comfort zone and to make permanent, lasting changes to improve your situation. Also keep in mind that a forum like this only keeps going because it is a give and take situation--have you tried maybe using some of your experience to help others in other threads? That may help you take your mind of some of your problems, and give you a sense of satisfaction.

rodeogirl
04-29-2013, 04:25 AM
Also try contacting a local university (if there is one within reasonable driving distance) you can get help sometimes from students, supervised by their professors for free. OR the school of psychology may have some leads for you.

Also you can get on a list some places for pro-bono/sliding fee scales. Sometimes the waiting list takes awhile but might as well get your name down if you can.

Alyssa Autopsy
04-29-2013, 08:53 AM
Alyssa, I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but you say you feel like people don't like you so I want to give you a suggestion as to what might be the issue. You post about problems you have like you want advice, but then you have an excuse for why none of the suggestions will work for you. It seems like you just want sympathy, not ways to actually resolve your issues. There is a time and a place for seeking sympathy, but this forum is about making life changes. You have to be ready and willing to try some things that might be out of your comfort zone and to make permanent, lasting changes to improve your situation. Also keep in mind that a forum like this only keeps going because it is a give and take situation--have you tried maybe using some of your experience to help others in other threads? That may help you take your mind of some of your problems, and give you a sense of satisfaction.

I do want help. I'm the one being told nothing can be done. Like I said, I called specialists and they wanna charge $500 a week, then I call a regular therapist for $180 a week and they say to see a specialist. How is that me making an excuse? That's something that someone else is telling me.

Underwater
04-29-2013, 02:11 PM
I do want help. I'm the one being told nothing can be done. Like I said, I called specialists and they wanna charge $500 a week, then I call a regular therapist for $180 a week and they say to see a specialist. How is that me making an excuse? That's something that someone else is telling me.

Maybe you could visit a regular therapist for general anxiety issues and mention your ED during the appointment. It is one of many things that seem to be bugging you, so maybe they will see you with more general issues rather than specifying you need someone for help with your eating disorder.

Alyssa Autopsy
04-29-2013, 02:28 PM
Maybe you could visit a regular therapist for general anxiety issues and mention your ED during the appointment. It is one of many things that seem to be bugging you, so maybe they will see you with more general issues rather than specifying you need someone for help with your eating disorder.

I guess I could try that... I've been good recently, it's really the ED that started everything going downhill.

kaplods
04-30-2013, 03:32 PM
I've seen a lot of people "making excuses," to get attention and avoid getting help, but that's not my first impression of you. I don't hear you saying, I can't do that, because....." Instead, you've said, "I tried that, and got nowhere, where do I go next?"

Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know enough about you to be sure, but I'm going to run with my instincts and first impressions. When I was on the other side of the desk as a counselor, I helped people find affordable resources, and even so I didn't understand how difficult it was to be on the receiving end. I had to file for disability myself (after hubby and I had to file bankruptcy due to my medical bills - even with amazing medical insurance that paid 90% or more of medical and prescription costs).

I also am now in a "no-win" situation with my health. I can't afford the treatment that might allow me to get healthy enough to return to work. I have an autoimmune disease that is no longer in remission, but it hasn't yet done enough damage to warrant treatment (because the drugs used to treat the disease have such horrible side effects)

I know how to find resources because of my experience, and I am on Medicare, but the system is difficult to navigate, and many of the resources have disappeared or changed eligibility requirements. Even with my experience and education, I've hit more than my share of brickwalls, and it can make a person feel helpless.

What no one tells you about the "system" is that you not only have to keep lookong for and knocking at new doors, you have to keep knocking at the doors that have been slammed in your face. Doctors will often say, "I can't help you," when the truth is they can and will, but only when they've been asked several times.

kaplods
05-01-2013, 03:42 AM
Sorry I ended my last post so abruptly, I lost track of time and had to rush out the door for a doctor's appt (found a rock-hard bb-sized lump in my breast). I was kind of hoping the doc would reassure me that it wasn't anything to fret over, instead he scheduled both a mammogram and a sonogram, and told me I'd probably have to have it removed, and only then will be able to tell whether it's cancer. We were saving for some dental work I need very badly, but it will have to wait I guess. I'm trying not to worry, but my blood pressure today was the highest it's been in almost eight years.

Anyway, back to your problems - your situation isn't hopeless, it's really not, but you're going to have to work harder and be more persistant in your efforts to find and utilize the resources you need. You're going to feel like giving up when you keep running into brick walls and doors slammed in your face, but keep looking, and keep asking. Take advantage of support groups and self-help books from the library. Keep contacting charities, advocacy groups, and social services in your area - even if you contacted them before, even if you contacted them two or three times, keep making those calls and following up on leads. Ask about financial aid - some hospitals and other social services offer "scholarships" and other types of financial aid. Hang in there.