100 lb. Club - Why is the beginning so hard?




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ubergirl
04-18-2013, 08:51 AM
Yesterday was DAY FOUR on plan and it was awful. By the evening, I was so cranky and I felt like I was starving.

I've done this before-- lost 110 lbs and stayed on plan for two straight years. I know for a fact that once I hit a roll, last time, it just wasn't that hard. There were hard days, but in general, it was just my life.

Right now, my goal is to stay on plan for 30 straight days. I'm hoping that 30 days will be long enough to get back to that place of comfort where every single minute doesn't feel like a struggle.

Any one else find that the first days are the hardest, and what's helps you keep going?


betsy2013
04-18-2013, 08:58 AM
Ubergirl, yes, I find the start hard to do. And the middle. And alternate Wednesdays in months beginning with A or J. And........

There are days where it just seems to roll along with no problems. But we're breaking life long habits here. We're changing how we eat and how we look at eating. We're doing this to be healthy as opposed to eating to get an endorphin rush for immediate gratification. We're doing something where the results are the very definition of delayed gratification -- a concept most of us are not familiar with!

So what's working this time? Health scare where I realized that I was literally eating myself to death. Desire to go outside and play while I still can. Tired of always sitting on the sidelines of life. So I'm thankful for the coast along days, but accept that there are going to be lots of hard days as well. Good luck!

ChickieBoom
04-18-2013, 09:17 AM
The first days are the worst for me. I think it's because it's hard for me to really see the weight loss and all my clothes still fit. That's the time when you have to really power through and remind yourself that time is flying so you might as well stay on plan. I put off sticking to my diet because I felt so overwhelmed by the weight that I had to lose and then you look up and a month has passed and then you're three months in. It seems like it's taking forever but it's not really.

I think it's also because it's such a drastic change from what you were doing before...or at least this was the case for me. I went from eating as much of whatever I wanted to weighing and measuring everything and cutting sugar completely out of my diet. The first month was torture.


time2lose
04-18-2013, 09:32 AM
Uber,

I wish that I had a wonderful reason to answer the "Why" but , well, as I used to tell my children sometimes, "just because it is."

I find the start very difficult too. That is why I "started" several times last year. Maybe it is the motivation. When I started in 2008, I had had a health scare that motivated me. This time I was motivated by the fear of hitting 300 again and then added additional motivation by paying for help. Now, I sure don't want to get cocky because I have just been on plan for a month now. It has gotten much easier but I know better than to let my defenses down.

Hang in there and, as you know, it will get easier!!

Lyn2007
04-18-2013, 10:11 AM
Oh man, starting really is SO hard. And for me it got harder every time I started again. I always told myself it was better to go off plan in the beginning rather than later so I wouldn't screw up much of a loss. That's what kept me from losing for so, so long. I am on day 12 perfectly on plan, and before that "one bite" off plan 12 days ago I had been perfectly on plan for like 9 or 10 days. You can do this uber! Just hang in there and after a week or two it does start to get easier!

elvislover324
04-18-2013, 10:29 AM
The starting is so hard, who wants to start this battle of the bulge and make new healthy choices and find time to exercise and all that jazz?

All I can say, my last beginning was literally the last beginning! So I never have to do this again!! I somehow got through the first day, the first week, the first month and now 8 months in, I'm on a life journey. I know that sounds silly but it's true. I took it one day at a time, one meal at a time. And I did a lot of soul searching and praying that I could do it this time.

Looking back, the time has flown. I can't even believe I did this!! I always say this in posts but it's the truth and has to be repeated. If I can do this, seriously anyone can. I thought I was destined to be morbidly obese forever and that I was going to die at a very young age and was trying to figure out how to tell my husband that I had to be cremated as I'd never get a big enough casket. That broke my heart to even think about saying the words!! So then what could I do? Leave a note with our important papers in case something happened to me? That wasn't fair either. And living like that wasn't fair to either of us. Pair that with a scary medical diagnosis and welcome to my new life!

You can do this. We are here for you. It will be the best thing you can do for your health and your life!! But you also have to be ready to make the changes whether you are motivated by health, bucket lists, vanity, whatever. It just has to be what you want to do for yourself and you have to be ready to commit.

I wish you lots of luck. You are more than halfway through your first week, you can't stop now!!! I can't wait to read about your success!!

PghGal
04-18-2013, 11:21 AM
I HEAR YOU!!!

Strangely enough, I am on day four as well. I had lost about 80 pounds from June 2011-July 2012, only to gain most of it back over the last nine months. :eek:

Today has been nothing but a struggle so far. I ate extra chicken pie out of the refrigerator and I'm hating myself for it right now. In fact, I'm trying to decide if I need to hit the gym or hit the cookies. Sad but true.

Anyway, that's also why I'm on 3FC today. The beginning is always the hardest. For me, it's the carb cravings. After a couple of weeks, it wanes. It's just dealing with the food rage until that that happens. LOL

To answer your question - I look at pictures from the "thinner" times. I look at all the clothes in my closet that I can't wear anymore and remember how awesome I felt in them. I just keep telling myself that I am in control - not the carbs.

Good luck to you. I'm in the same boat, so I get it.

ubergirl
04-18-2013, 01:28 PM
Thank you so much for all of your thoughtful responses.

Cheryl I'm so happy to hear that you been on plan for a month. That will motivate me every single day as I think of your success.

elvislover I do remember feeling just the way you feel now... nobody is more shocked than I am that I regained, because I worked unbelievably hard for a very long to lose the weight... and that's why I'm trying so hard to reach that point again-- where it doesn't seem so impossible. I really appreciate hearing from people who are out there doing well as it reminds me how awesome it is.

pghgal Yes, I do think part of the problem is the carb withdrawal. I lose fastest when I'm very conservative with carbs, and so I'm really trying to work the plan that worked for me before: mostly lean proteins and veggies.

For me, I know that once I start dropping sizes and feeling the benefits of the weight loss it's much easier to stick with it.

In the meantime, look for me around here a lot whining and looking for support!!

elvislover324
04-18-2013, 01:54 PM
Ubergirl, I reread my message and I came off so negative and morbid. I apologize for that. I should hold back on my feelings when trying to help someone else's feelings. It's just I'm so passionate in my heart and I want everyone to be successful the way I have been lucky to be (it's a battle every day but I'm up for a good fight!). I wish I had been open enough in my beginning to reach out for help here at 3FC or anywhere else, maybe I could have had success sooner. I'm so happy that you reached out! And trust me, I know you worked hard to get the weight off the first time! And now you know you have the fight in you to do it again, except now you have all of us to cheer you on through the good stuff and the rough stuff. So I say, whine away!! And celebrate away!! We want to hear it all and talk you through it. You can do it!!!

rodeogirl
04-18-2013, 02:04 PM
I honestly wish the beginning was the hard part for me - for me the beginning is exciting and new and shiny.

It's month 3ish where I fall down.

If I could get the hardest part overwith in the beginning I think that would be good, actually.

Roo2
04-18-2013, 02:12 PM
Change in anything is hard! Change requires moving you out of your comfort zone into an area...that can be difficult to navigate.:hug:
Starting anything New is like being in a foreign country...where you don't speak the language or customs and have anyone else to be your guide or translate.:dizzy:

But once you reach out someone smiles at you and takes your hand you feel more comfortable and ready to try to assimilate yourself into the environment.:)
Good Luck, Roo2:carrot::carrot::carrot:

ubergirl
04-18-2013, 08:53 PM
Ubergirl, I reread my message and I came off so negative and morbid. I apologize for that. I should hold back on my feelings when trying to help someone else's feelings. It's just I'm so passionate in my heart and I want everyone to be successful the way I have been lucky to be (it's a battle every day but I'm up for a good fight!). I wish I had been open enough in my beginning to reach out for help here at 3FC or anywhere else, maybe I could have had success sooner. I'm so happy that you reached out! And trust me, I know you worked hard to get the weight off the first time! And now you know you have the fight in you to do it again, except now you have all of us to cheer you on through the good stuff and the rough stuff. So I say, whine away!! And celebrate away!! We want to hear it all and talk you through it. You can do it!!!

Oh my gosh! No apologies necessary. I didn't think you sounded morbid at all-- I liked what you said and it really reminded me how doable this is.

Rodeogirl I hear you....there is a point where you feel like you've been working working working and yet actually getting to goal still seems impossibly distant. It's ALL hard, but for me, the hardest part is starting out. Getting into smaller clothes is a huge motivator and once that starts happening, I feel like I understand why I'm doing it.

NorthernChick13
04-18-2013, 09:20 PM
I find this quote always helps me! You are right- it is hard. When down, remember it's the best type of hard to be battling!

Elladorine
04-19-2013, 11:53 AM
NO CHOICE.

That's what I told myself over and over. :)

It was so hard in the beginning when I decided to reboot. There were days I was sobbing over chocolate. Not having chocolate and feeling deprived, actually having chocolate and feeling guilty over it, having too much chocolate and feeling out of control.

It took me a long time to find that balance, to get my priorities between food and health sorted out. And every day, I told myself I had NO CHOICE but to try my very best.

What got me through was keeping a food journal. Making myself write in it no matter what. If I made a mistake, I wrote it down and moved on. When I was proud of my choices, I got to brag to myself in that journal. And very slowly over time, my efforts became less aggressive and far less draining. Making better choices became second nature. And granted, I'm sure I could easily slip back, but I do everything in my power to set myself up for success.

Remember that there's a consequence to everything, both good and bad. I still make mistakes, but it's ok (for example, in last night's rush I ended up overeating at dinner and got a tummy ache). Making good choices not only get us results over time, but gives us reason to be proud. It was a long time before I could even begin to trust myself around anything with added sugar, but now I can have a bite or two of "real" dessert and be satisfied, as opposed to feeling deprived over not having more (if any at all), or overeating and feeling majorly guilty.

It gets easier over time, remember that to help you through the difficult parts. Do your best every day, forgive yourself over mistakes but don't excuse them, and get right back on the wagon. The only way you'll reach your goals is to not give up.

I'm on maintenance break right now, but I'm still keeping my food journal. It still helps me stay mindful and accountable of my overall choices, and I'm hoping I'll still be in practice for next year when it's time to lose again. I realize I don't have a choice if I want to get healthier.

Good luck to you! You've done this before, you can do it again. Get this hard part out of the way so you can move on to easier stuff. ;)

:hug:

EvieBaby
04-19-2013, 12:27 PM
I think what I find hardest about the beginning of a new weight loss plan is battling with my head about past failures. I definitely feel a bit of "You didn't succeed any of the other times, why would you now?" and (This is sort of weird!) part of me resents having to lose weight. It feels like I should just happy, fine the way I am. . . . So I tell that part of myself that it's not about hating myself. It's about being the best I can be . . . and not impeding my goals or things that bring me joy because I can't _physically_ handle them. I'll let you know if my self-talk works, heh heh.

I'm really thrilled (no sarcasm at all!) to have found this board. I think other people going through what I'm going through, having as much weight as I do to lose--and to get to know other people who know it _can_ be done--will be what help me succeed this time.

Good luck to you! Your beginning is well on its way to being begun already. ;)

ubergirl
04-19-2013, 04:52 PM
I think what I find hardest about the beginning of a new weight loss plan is battling with my head about past failures. I definitely feel a bit of "You didn't succeed any of the other times, why would you now?" and (This is sort of weird!) part of me resents having to lose weight. It feels like I should just happy, fine the way I am. . . . So I tell that part of myself that it's not about hating myself. It's about being the best I can be . . . and not impeding my goals or things that bring me joy because I can't _physically_ handle them. I'll let you know if my self-talk works, heh heh.

I'm really thrilled (no sarcasm at all!) to have found this board. I think other people going through what I'm going through, having as much weight as I do to lose--and to get to know other people who know it _can_ be done--will be what help me succeed this time.

Good luck to you! Your beginning is well on its way to being begun already. ;)

Eviebaby, thanks for this. You sound a lot like me in the way your mind works. I also battle with both of those thoughts: one is something along the lines of "if I quit soon then all this pain will be for nothing..." and the other is "really, can't you love yourself the way you are, already?"

Elladorine I know what you mean! I remember clearly being able to have a slice of cake at a birthday party and not having it make me go off and eat the whole cake. I'm dying to get back to that good place....

EvieBaby
04-19-2013, 09:02 PM
You're welcome, Uber. :)

And re: "You sound a lot like me in the way your mind works" . . .

I've been lurking like crazy and what I like the most about this forum is there is nothing new under then sun. I feel like I'm reading my own thoughts half the time as I peruse others' posts.

My eating was not out of control today, so yay. And now I'm going outside to play with my dog for a bit. :)

punkrocksong
04-20-2013, 08:53 AM
Maybe because this is all shiny and new to me I'm really excited right now that I'm the beginning...I'm more worried about what's going to happen when I hit my first plateau and get frustrated.

I know it's tough - I had a long day yesterday, I left my house at 6:30 in the morning and didn't get home until nearly midnight and I hadn't eaten enough during the day. I felt like I was going to eat my own arm off by the time I got home. But even though I was absolutley ravenous I watched my husband eat a bag full of deliciously greasy McDonalds and did not lose my mind. I've found I've starting ask myself questions first before going off the deep end:

"How many calories does it have? Is fatty, salty, sugary, etc.?"
"Am I going to hate myself ten minutes after I eat this?"
"Am I actually hungry, or am I bored or stressed?"

I run through this checklist in my head before I eat things that were not on my plan...and then on Saturdays I reward myself for saying no so much during the week by having one meal that I don't worry about these things - I still try to do it moderation, but I also feel then like I'm not completely depriving myself.