Hello everyone! I am 29, I weigh 300 pounds, and I just started a new degree track. This wouldn't normally intimidate me, but I'm majoring in Pastry and Culinary Arts. My cooking knowledge definitely helps me prepare healthier and more nutritious food at home, but I am a bit concerned about my will power in the class kitchen. Just the other day red velvet cupcakes were passed around that had been baked in another class kitchen. I declined, but I don't know if that decision will always be so easy.
Being a chef is a huge life goal, and I am really excited for this career path, I just need some focus while going through the classes. It doesn't help that I am by far the heaviest person in my classes. That only makes me feel odd and like everyone is judging me.
Thanks for reading my vent. Any support, tips, or suggestions are welcome!
I find that at my part time job they sometimes have "cupcake days" where they
all buy cupcakes from the place down the street. I pretty much just anticipate that cupcakes will be there whenever I go to work and leave enough calories in my meal plan that day to accommodate one (usually ~300 calories). If I eat one, then I'm covered in my calorie count, if not - great! I can use those calories for an extra something at supper, or just not eat them if I'm not hungry!
My advice would be that if you don't have enough will power to say no completely, try and just take a little bite and instantly throw the rest of your share away. I know how hard it is to pass up cupcakes (Red Velvet is my favorite and you showed far more will power than I would have been able to).
I worked at a salon with all super skinny girls a couple years ago. One day one of them brought cupcakes in. I was so stoked. ... And then I saw them all take off the tops with the icing, and throw them away. My heart sank as that was the best part! I ate my cupcake proudly thinking these girls were nuts. However, now that I am a bit older and struggling with keeping my weight down (if I dont count, I easily pack on 5 pounds every single month as my "normal" eating habits are that far out of control), I can completely understand why they would take that part off!
If you are calorie counting, make sure you try your best to estimate how many calories are in whatever you ate, just so you can try and stay within your range.
My advice is to try to change your relationship with food. It's not easy, and I'm still trying, but having a different perspective can make all the difference.
Someone posted on here a while back something that really helped me say to to foods that I would have eaten without a second thought in the past. It was this: whatever the food is, there will always be more of it. The world isn't going to run out of red velvet cupcakes. You can get one anytime you want, as long as you make a conscious choice to fit it into your eating plan. So it's not so urgent that you have the cupcake that's in front of you right now.
Easier said than done, I know, but it helps if you can take back the control over your food instead of letting it control you. If it's a special occasion or you travel and get a chance to go to *the* best place to get cupcakes in the world, then by all means have a cupcake. But if it's not an amazing cupcake, it's not worth eating. And if you take a bite and don't think it's amazing, you don't have to finish it.
I bet as a chef you'll be/already are really good at distinguishing really great food from so-so food. If you don't eat the so-so food, you'll have more room for the really great food.
And remember, you can always get a cupcake if you really want one, but that doesn't mean you need to eat the one in front of you right now.
I'm wondering... Maybe the fact that the food is so easily available will kind of help? As in, when cupcakes etc are passed around in a non-food environment, they're something 'exceptional'; but when there's a lot of food around, it tends to lose its appeal. I guess it'd be somewhat close to what LucyRic suggests: if you consider it as "there'll always be more", it may become less interesting.
In my country, a lot of pastyr chefs, especially in chocolate stores, allow their new apprentices to gorge on chocolate during the first week, in order to 'disgust' them from dipping into the pan all the time. It seems to work for some people, at least.
Scared of school
