Everyone only likes me now that i have lost weight??
I have lost about thirty pounds so far and most of my friends and family seem to notice. Its really different now because all of my friends who didnt talk to me as much wont leave me alone. Im happy to be getting noticed but i dont act any different i would say im still the same person.
My dad side of my family used to pick on me for being fat all the time. i used to run to my mom always bawling. Now that i have lost some weight they cant seem to stop talking about it. Its very annoying. Now they spoil me with gifts all the time like they never used to.
If this continues i dont even know if i want to lose any more weight it makes me really mad sometimes.
*For ME*, I know I became a much nicer person after I started losing weight. I felt better about myself and I really think that people noticed my new attitude much more than they noticed my new body.
Though, lol, if you want people to leave you alone, keep losing weight...haha It seemed that by the time I got to a true "normal" weight, the jealous side came out in a lot of the people who were praising the he11 out of me before. Some of them won't even talk to me now, especially the overweight ones. It hurt at first, but I realized now that I'm better off without the bad influences around me. If you use other people as an excuse to how you live your life, you'll end up truly unhealthy, mentally and physically, in my humble opinion.
Maybe you're just happier now that you've lost weight? I know you said you haven't changed, and it's not that I don't believe you, but maybe there's a minor change and it's making you easier/better to be around? I totally don't mean that in a rude way...just throwing out possibilities. There's also definitely the chance that they just don't like larger people, and, like you say, are just nicer to you because you've lost weight. If that's the case, I don't blame you for being angry/annoyed by it. It would annoy me too. But don't let it stop you from losing weight!! Do not let their behaviour have a negative impact on your health. Just know that they're not the nicest people and keep them at arm's length...and continue doing what you're doing.
I thought at first that all the attention I was suddenly getting was just because I'd lost weight until I realised it was purely down to how I had changed as a person without immediately realising it. Someone said to me that unlike before, I now walk into a room with a confident stride, my head held high and a big smile on my face. I realised that my newfound self-confidence is what is making people react differently to me. I'm getting noticed because I no longer try to hide in a corner.
Just go with it and keep on losing - well done on your loss so far.
*For ME*, I know I became a much nicer person after I started losing weight. I felt better about myself and I really think that people noticed my new attitude much more than they noticed my new body.
Though, lol, if you want people to leave you alone, keep losing weight...haha It seemed that by the time I got to a true "normal" weight, the jealous side came out in a lot of the people who were praising the he11 out of me before. Some of them won't even talk to me now, especially the overweight ones. It hurt at first, but I realized now that I'm better off without the bad influences around me. If you use other people as an excuse to how you live your life, you'll end up truly unhealthy, mentally and physically, in my humble opinion.
I was thinking the same thing, haha!
I know I've become more confident with the little bit of weight I've lost and I think that in itself is a more attractive attribute then any physical changes I've made.
But I do know where you're coming from xsew. I think your family and friends probably feel as though they're encouraging you with the gifts and compliments and whatnot, but if it truly does bug you, I would just let them know that your weight loss is not something you want to talk about all the time.
I think what Lori Bell says is true - when you are on a major weight loss journey that alters your appearance from month to month/year to year, you are going to get a wide range of reactions that will evolve over time.
I totally relate to you feeling annoyed that you are only receiving positive attention now that you have lost weight. I feel the same way. Last year, people who wouldn't give me the time of day or a compliment if I paid them for it now are showering me with praise. I find myself saying to people that I am going to get a big ego if they keep up the compliments like this. Of course, part of me loves it - but another part of me is thinking, I am the same person as I was before, why couldn't you see me as beautiful back then, when I really needed the kind words?
As to Lori Bell's point, I think it is true for me, that at the moment, I am no threat to anyone. It costs nothing for someone to compliment my weight or looks when at this points, both are just average. In fact, I am still technically overweight. However, if/when I get to my goal weight, I think being "skinny" will be seen as more of a threat and people won't want to "feed my ego" further with big compliments. Either that, or people will get used to my new body and it won't warrant any more remarks.
The main thing is that we shouldn't be deterred to get to our goal out of spite toward others - we will only hurt ourselves. We need to keep doing our own thing and we need to keep being our own cheerleaders - just the way we were before our weight loss was noticeable to others and just the way we will need to be when people stop remarking on our weight loss either out of jealousy or boredom. We need to keep cheering ourselves on through this journey.
*For ME*, I know I became a much nicer person after I started losing weight. I felt better about myself and I really think that people noticed my new attitude much more than they noticed my new body.
Though, lol, if you want people to leave you alone, keep losing weight...haha It seemed that by the time I got to a true "normal" weight, the jealous side came out in a lot of the people who were praising the he11 out of me before. Some of them won't even talk to me now, especially the overweight ones. It hurt at first, but I realized now that I'm better off without the bad influences around me. If you use other people as an excuse to how you live your life, you'll end up truly unhealthy, mentally and physically, in my humble opinion.
I could have written this post word for word. People are nicer to me because...well...I'm a nicer person. I have a much brighter outlook on life and that is carrying through to my personality. I have more confidence and don't spend my days trying to hide from being noticed so I think I'm more approachable. And similar to Lori's experience, sadly, I also have people who I used to be close to pull away a bit. I don't know if it's jealousy or if I've just changed my lifestyle so much that we no longer mesh as well. I'm definitely disappointed by a couple of the losses but at the same time, I'm finding it easier to make new friends now.
OP - perhaps your loss has changed your lifestyle enough that people are finding you more confident and approachable. Congratulations on your 30lb victory - that's fabulous progress!
xsew - First, congratulations! You are doing amazingly.
Secondly, I gave up trying to read people's minds a long, long time ago. If it is someone close to me, and what they are doing is bothering me a great deal, I will take the time to talk to them and try to figure out what's going on. Otherwise, I tend to just try to see people in the best light possible. If they are inspired/impressed/finally found a subject to engage you with because of your weight loss, all the better! Enjoy these newfound friendships if you can -- that only makes your life better. If you get close enough, you can ask them about the difference in the way they're treating you. You might find it's something like what Lori has suggested -- you're just unconsciously more open to people. You also might find it's because they're extremely shallow. So what? I've got lots of shallow friends whose company I enjoy - I just know that our friendship is not based on a deep down soul-level connection.
Hang in there! Lots of changes ahead. Hopefully, most of them will be great!
Congratulations on doing so well! I can see what you mean, but please don't allow other people to choose your life for you. That is giving people an awful lot of power over your decisions. There will ALWAYS be people who do things you don't like, if you allow that to dictate how you live your life, you will not end up very happy.
I've been up and down the scales a few times now and I could write a book on how people treat me when I'm fat compared to how they treat me when I'm thin. I have journals full of notes on it because I've been a daily journaler since elementary school. My own family is the worst and my own "friends" too. It's not just you, and your changing attitude. It's them and their own prejudices also. Sure, you feel better about yourself so your a little happier, doesn't mean that people get to treat you like sh** again if you gain it all back and them some.
Just take a mental note and if their attitudes towards you change again, call them out on it...I do and sometimes people don't even know they are doing it...prejudices are often subconcious. Example: My Grandmother, when I'm thin, will praise me for everything from being sucessful at work to being a good parent but when I'm fat she will only see the negative things about me and critique me mercilessly, I called her out on it about a year ago when I was again fat and not even wanting to visit her anymore because she was so critical. She said she didn't even realize she was being so harsh.
But to say you don't want to lose more weight because of it is silly. I'm not invalidating your feelings but I am here to tell you, you are not losing this weight for them, you are doing it for you (I would hope). And you deserve to treat yourself right, even if nobody else is, or if all the sudden everybody is. Maybe...just maybe, all the positive attention is something you'll have to get used to.
I can totally relate to your post. When I was a teenager I had lost quite a bit of weight and I sort of went from having a few friends and then suddenly everyone wanted to be my friend? More people wanted to be around me.
I wonder if it was a confidence thing. I was still the same person but maybe because I looked more attractive I was attracting more positive things.
Congrats on your weight loss and try not to let them get you down!
I can totally relate to your post. When I was a teenager I had lost quite a bit of weight and I sort of went from having a few friends and then suddenly everyone wanted to be my friend? More people wanted to be around me.
I wonder if it was a confidence thing.
I don't think it's a confidence thing at all. I truly believe that people, in general, are THAT superficial regardless of whether it's concious thinking on their part or not.
People are attracted to "pretty people". Babies look at more attractive faces longer than not-so-attractive faces. Call it a biology-driven response if you want, but the unfortunate reality, in my honest opinion, is when one loses weight and slims down, people will gravitate to you more. That's why physically beautiful women and men get a lot more opportunities in the work arena and dating arena.
My relatives treated me so nicely when I was 125lbs. Now that I'm overweight, they aren't so nice and have no problem calling me fat. At for my dating life (or lack of one), I definitely had a lot of men approach me when I was at a smaller weight. Now? I attract men my father's age and/or really creepy men. I bet the bank that when I lose the weight, people will treat me nicely again and normal men my age (early to mid 30s) will ask me out again.
It's a sad fact of life ladies. It's not you. It's THEM and the prejudicies against fat people.
I don't think it's a confidence thing at all. I truly believe that people, in general, are THAT superficial regardless of whether it's concious thinking on their part or not.
People are attracted to "pretty people". Babies look at more attractive faces longer than not-so-attractive faces. Call it a biology-driven response if you want, but the unfortunate reality, in my honest opinion, is when one loses weight and slims down, people will gravitate to you more. That's why physically beautiful women and men get a lot more opportunities in the work arena and dating arena.
My relatives treated me so nicely when I was 125lbs. Now that I'm overweight, they aren't so nice and have no problem calling me fat. At for my dating life (or lack of one), I definitely had a lot of men approach me when I was at a smaller weight. Now? I attract men my father's age and/or really creepy men. I bet the bank that when I lose the weight, people will treat me nicely again and normal men my age (early to mid 30s) will ask me out again.
It's a sad fact of life ladies. It's not you. It's THEM and the prejudicies against fat people.
I have to disagree. Not EVERYONE, or even most people, are prejudiced against "fat people".
When I changed my way of eating and started losing weight I FELT so much better. My confidence continues to grow as I meet my goals. I'm a happier person than I was 100 lbs ago. I'm not noticing ANY difference in the way people treat me, at all. What I DO notice is my reaction to others. I'm not holding all these insecurities and fears in my head anymore. I'm not anticipating that people will react negatively to me. THAT is what makes the difference .
I have to agree with FreeBird3 I've never met a person who wasn't prejudiced against fat people. It's been ingrained in us since we were children by the media. It's second nature to us now, we don't even realise we're doing it.
People definitely treat me different now that I've lost weight. I've always been a generally happy, but a shy person and that hasn't changed, but now there are people who have deemed me worthy to talk to, that never talked to me when I was heavier.
Everyone only likes me now that i have lost weight??
It seemed that by the time I got to a true "normal" weight, the jealous side came out in a lot of the people who were praising the he11 out of me before. Some of them won't even talk to me now, especially the overweight ones. It hurt at first, but I realized now that I'm better off without the bad influences around me. 
If you use other people as an excuse to how you live your life, you'll end up truly unhealthy, mentally and physically, in my humble opinion.
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