I don't find it productive to judge the legitimacy of my obstacles. They're all just obstacles. When I decide that it's an excuse, I feel guilty and stupid for having the difficulty. When I decide that it's a legitimate reason, I tend to think of the obstacle as insurmountable and permanent.
When I think of obstacles, and ask myself what can I do to remove or reduce the obstacle, I find ways over or around the obstacle.
So there you go. You don't have an excuse, you have an obstacle, so what are you going to do to get around or over the obstacle.
You can do nothing and accept the obstacle, or you can find ways around, over, or through it.
Embarassment over moving (and even being) in public was one of my obstacles. When it came to swimming, I got over it (at a young age) because I loved swimming so much and still do. The walk to the water sometimes felt like a death march, but I felt protected once I was in the water (which is kind of silly, since the water is transparent, but I let my silly mind game work for me).
When I bought a bike a few years ago, I was terrified of riding it, and was convinced everyone was staring and laughing. But then I started thinking "so what." I wasn't afraid to act silly in front of people I cared about, so why worry about it with people I don't. I started thinking "if I look funny/silly let them laugh, most of them won't mean it cruelly, and the ones who do mean it cruelly aren't worthy of my respect or care. Let idiots laugh - they're idiots - who cares what an idiot thinks?"
It's a "mind game" but I find that most mind games end up only having to be used temporarily. Once you get comfortable, you stop caring/obsessing/worrying about it. So you fake it until you can make it.
|