[free1]

Today is my birthday and I had a really good day. I made a decision today to not celebrate with food. I think this has been part of my problem...I didn't eat because I was bored or depressed...it was fun! Food was recreational to me. When I was 8, I was in the hospital for almost 2 months. I physically couldn't stand, walk or move much so my parents gave me the one thing they could think of to cheer me up....food. My parents are great but I think this is where I started. After that, it was ALL MY CHOICE. And boy did I make the wrong choices!!! So, I am trying to change my thinking and did not celebrate with a bunch of high calorie non-stop food- as in previous years.

In 2 days, I will also celebrate my 1 year weight loss anniversary. In a year, I've gone from a size 22/24W (mostly 24) to a regular 14 and can fit some 12s. Yes 12 regulars. I told myself on my last birthday that that was my last year living in that body...and I kept my commitment.

I still have a way to go but I was feeling pretty good UNTIL....My daughter's babysitter found some old pictures of me from about 14 years ago. I looked HORRIBLE. My thighs looked like 2 barrels taped together, I had no neck, my face had this weird dark marks where my super-sized chicks extended from. It was TERRIBLE. There was a picture with me slow dancing with my husband and his hands are by my side.....probably because I never liked him touching all of the rolls. He looked like he was dancing with a linebacker in a wig!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't look like that anymore (thank God) but I really wanted to cry because I looked so HUGE!!!! The thing is that I was in my SKINNY DRESS in the picture. I thought I was so much thinner thin...I was DELUSIONAL. That makes me think I could be delusional NOW. Maybe, I am still deluded into thinking I look so much smaller when really I'm just a junior linebacker now! Everyone keeps saying I look different....heck, I have size 12s in my closet that I can wear. However, it was really upsetting...

Sorry, hubby's not home yet and I just had to release that. I feel slightly better....actually, I don't

[CHUNKEY_MUNKEY]

woah there !!

size 24 to a 14 , your no where near the size of a line backer i assure you , instead of getting so upset why dont you step back and admire yourself for how far youve came??

i understand how that can be upsetting though ... it makes you wonder , if you THOUGHT you looked good then .... what if you only THINK you look good now .... but i assure you , you probably look great


happy birthday btw :hugs:

and congrats on not celebrating your day with food there IS more to life !

[Arctic Mama]

Happy birthday and congratulations on so much weight lost! Don't let your history get you down, let it be your triumph. I know how hard looking at old pictures can be, but you were still you, with all the excellent attributes, at those weights. Now you're just a smaller version of your former self, but you weren't bad then!

Frame it in a positive way and don't let yourself get dispirited.

[Madame Souza]

Why are birthdays so hard? We expect them to be special and then wham! They get us down in the most unexpected ways.
You went down from a 24 to a 14. Sizes don't lie. I am sure you look fabulous now.
Good for you deciding to celebrate in non food ways.
and

[puneri]

Congrats,
Celebrate the success, try to be happy.

[Demosthenes]

I'm sure you were beautiful at your old weight, and you are even more beautiful now. What's the point in making yourself feel bad? Celebrate each day, especially since you've worked so hard towards your goal.

[Natasha22]

Happy birthday!
Don't let old photos bring you down, you should be really proud of your accomplishment!

There's no reason for you to think you're delusional now, you fit a size 12-14, this means you have a normal weight. Perhaps it's gonna take some time to accept your new body, it's perfectly understandable. Celebrate your success, because you definitely deserve it!

[shapedself]

Congratulations on the weight loss, keep it up.

[Raven132]

What, are you calling me a linebacker? Just kidding, we're about the same size and no, you are not big. Try to cheer up and have a happy birthday. You have a rocking body and maybe a little face time with a full-length mirror is in order.